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So a guy walks into a bar.

And he says "Ouch".

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

You'd have thought one of them would've ducked.

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A Dutchman flies with an American air company. All of a sudden, the stewardess comes running into the passenger's lounge, and says: "We're low on fuel and are never gonna make it to shore like this! We already threw out all the baggage but we're still too heavy!". After the following panic calms down, they decide to cut away the floor and ditch it together with the chairs, letting everyone hang onto the ceiling."The Stewardess comes climbing in, and says: "I'm afraid we're still too heavy... someone will have to let go".After a long silence, the Dutchman suddenly speaks: "I had a great life, and I'm not afraid of death. I will sacrifice myself to save you all".Moved, the Americans cheer him on, and applaud his bravery.

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A Dutchman flies with an American air company. All of a sudden, the stewardess comes running into the passenger's lounge, and says: "We're low on fuel and are never gonna make it to shore like this! We already threw out all the baggage but we're still too heavy!". After the following panic calms down, they decide to cut away the floor and ditch it together with the chairs, letting everyone hang onto the ceiling."The Stewardess comes climbing in, and says: "I'm afraid we're still too heavy... someone will have to let go".After a long silence, the Dutchman suddenly speaks: "I had a great life, and I'm not afraid of death. I will sacrifice myself to save you all".Moved, the Americans cheer him on, and applaud his bravery.

So that's how the Flying Dutchman was made.

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A Dutchman flies with an American air company. All of a sudden, the stewardess comes running into the passenger's lounge, and says: "We're low on fuel and are never gonna make it to shore like this! We already threw out all the baggage but we're still too heavy!". After the following panic calms down, they decide to cut away the floor and ditch it together with the chairs, letting everyone hang onto the ceiling."The Stewardess comes climbing in, and says: "I'm afraid we're still too heavy... someone will have to let go".After a long silence, the Dutchman suddenly speaks: "I had a great life, and I'm not afraid of death. I will sacrifice myself to save you all".Moved, the Americans cheer him on, and applaud his bravery.

Im going to be honest here i had to read it the second time around to get it.

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A Dutchman flies with an American air company. All of a sudden, the stewardess comes running into the passenger's lounge, and says: "We're low on fuel and are never gonna make it to shore like this! We already threw out all the baggage but we're still too heavy!". After the following panic calms down, they decide to cut away the floor and ditch it together with the chairs, letting everyone hang onto the ceiling."The Stewardess comes climbing in, and says: "I'm afraid we're still too heavy... someone will have to let go".After a long silence, the Dutchman suddenly speaks: "I had a great life, and I'm not afraid of death. I will sacrifice myself to save you all".Moved, the Americans cheer him on, and applaud his bravery.

idungetit

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idungetit

They clapped and therefore let go of the ceiling

:ninja:I've heard a similar one with a brunette and a group of blondes on a rope suspended over a shark pool.

Edited by Grobag

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One night, a man was walking along when another man approached him. "What's the time?" he asked. The first man brought out his iPhone to check because he didn't have a watch. And he said "It's half past elev-" he was cut off in his sentence as the second man snatched the phone from him and ran off into a nearby alley.

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One night, a man was walking along when another man approached him. "What's the time?" he asked. The first man brought out his iPhone to check because he didn't have a watch. And he said "It's half past elev-" he was cut off in his sentence as the second man snatched the phone from him and ran off into a nearby alley.

and then he tripped on his shoelace and accidentally embedded the iphone between the ground and his face and died instantly in a spectacular explosion.the first man, having exactly 0 ideas what was going on, ran away.

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