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What did Hellfire do to Silent?Nothing because he had no liver.

I saw this one first, and didn't realize you were referring to Hertz's post.Spent 20 minutes trying to figure it out.

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Two guys walk into a bar.They will go on to live brief, meaningless lives in the finite yet inescapable train of agony that is the existence of the poor man, falling forever into the void seven years later in an alcoholic stupor under a cloudy night sky.Here's the punchline: One of them had a hat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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What did the plumber say when he quit his job?

"I'm sick of your shit!"

I wanted to be a plumber once, but it was just a pipe dream.

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I know I'm going to hell for this but... Did you guys hear the number of black widows in the united states increased by nearly 500%?

Apparently it has something to do with the levees in Louisiana breaking or something

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What's red and pink, and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin through its throat

What's pink and then red?

A baby's mouth when it's eating a razor blade

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What's black and blue and red all over?

Your anuses after I get finished shoving all these baby jokes up them.

Oh god, your avatar is PERFECT for this joke...

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