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LordAIDS Monkey

New Halloween Update Idea: The Spooky Surf Update!!

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Heya there, my SPUFFriend! Remember back during my last post, where I cheated you out of a new Scream Fortress Idea by re-hashing an oldie from dead-SPUF? Well, I don’t. But I do remember that I promised that I’d bring some new and original TF2 Halloween content your way, so that’s what I’m here to do today! I’m gonna jump right into it, so get cozy in your little chair as I’ve got a lotta stuff to cover! (But a little less stuff than usual because no one actually reads this stuff, right?)



It was late October, and the mercs were all preparing themselves for the night of their lives!  All except Engineer, that is, who instead decided to take the time to follow his passion of stargazing.  As Engineer stared at the sky through his Texan-Telemalargification Device (telescope), Scout decided to be a good friend and pay him a visit.  


“Huhuhu, you comin’ with us hardhat?  We got some sweet invitations to a Halloween party!”


“Shut up Scout, I don’t have time for that tonight!  I’ve been starin’ at the sky for a while now, and somethin’ just ain’t right!”  Engineer pointed upwards, drawing attention to the moon. “That thing’s been gettin’ bigger and bigger all week, and I just don’t know why!” 


Huhuhu, ain’t that somethin’ pal?  But it makes the sky that much spookier!  And given the time of year, that’s a good thing!”


Engineer scoffed, staring back into his device.  “God dammit Scout, don’t ya’ get it? If the moon keeps growin’ at this rate, the results could be catastrophic!”  Scout stood there, scratching his head in confusion.


“Huhuhu, not as catastrophic as you missin’ out on this party, come on pally!”  Scout grabbed Engineer by the arm, pulling him to the rest of the gang, who were all already dressed in their cute outfits.   


Engineer sighed in exasperation.  “Well alright, but by my calculations, we’ve got about THREE DAYS until that moon collides with Earth!”  Of course, nobody was listening to poor old Engie, who was forced into his costume by his friends.


They dragged the poor man to the address, coming to some beachfront property that just so happened to be a large gothic castle, the moon in full view over the horizon.  “Huhuhu, this looks like the place! Come on guys, let’s go!” Scout ran up to the castle, banging on the front door and ringing the doorbell like the lovable loon he was.  “Trick or treat, gimme somethin’ good to eat!” But alas, there was no answer. In disappointment, Scout sat down, staring out into the sea. But what was that? There was some apparition out in the water!


 “Hey guys, check this out! I think there’s a GHOST in the water!  HUHUHUHUHUHUHU!” Scout ran down to shore, his friends following close behind.  As they neared the figure, they managed to make out what seemed to be a humanoid form, floating above the waves.  


“Well that there’s something you don’t see every day!” exclaimed Sniper, tunnel visioning onto the object.  The mercs all took a peek into his scope to see what he had seen, the object getting closer and closer until it eventually came upon the shore, approaching them.  


“Cowabunga, ah-haha!” said the stranger in a goofy Transylvanian accent.  What the mercs saw before them appeared to be none other than a ghoulish man, his pale skin sparkling in the moonlight and his fanged smile melting the hearts of all the ladies who weren’t there, because they melted.


The Medic gasped, recognizing this strange man.  “It iz Rad Vlad, ze greatest vampire surfer in ze vorld!”


“Ah-haha, you are indeed correct my friend, it is I, Rad Vlad, champion of the waves and master of the tide!”  


Engineer cried out from the group, drawing the connection between the tide and the moon.  “It was YOU! YOU’RE the guy that messed with that there moon!”


“Ah-haha, correct again!  You have no idea how hard it is for I, a vampire, to catch these waves during the day, so I, Rad Vlad, have moved the moon closer to the planet to create the sickest of waves!”  


Don’t ya’ get it!  If the moon gets any closer, ya’ll are gonna kill everyone!”  


“Ah-haha, a small price to pay for this gnarly surf!”  Rad Vlad, completely disregarding the mercs, boarded his coffin surfboard and rode out to open waters once more, leaving the mercs dumbfounded. And this, my friends, is where our update begins!


tl:dr version: The mercs confront a surfing vampire that has sent the moon on a crash curse with the Earth.


Yikes! Looks like the planet is in grave danger thanks to Rad Vlad’s carelessness! How are the mercenaries gonna be able to stop him? Glad you asked! So, the update will be split into 3 Days, much like past updates such as Love and War, each bringing all sorts of fun stuff! And UNLIKE Love and War, you’ll actually get to face off against the menacing monster on the last day!



Three days remain!


Day 1 will bring the stuff that no one cares about, such as hats and crates! The new hats will include all sorts of fun beach gear, as well as all sorts of spooky, community-made Halloween costumes for Pyro and nobody else. In the crates you can expect find one good (and rare) item, along with multiple low-tier trash hats, so you’ll have to spend lotsa money to get what you’re looking for. (Probably some kind of animal companion that'll become the most expensive item in the game.)


Day 2 will bring other exciting goodies. We can expect to see a lot of new taunts based on the update, including an all-class taunt where your merc hops on a surfboard and is propelled around by a small wave. Whee! There'd also be a new taunt, Dancylvania, where the mercs to an awfully spooky dance. And maybe if we’re lucky, Day 2 will bring a few new weapons. Like a wooden stake for Spy.


Day 3 will be the BIG day of the update, and the final showdown against the gnarly vampire himself! The new map, titled Vlad’s Castle, will be a control point map that takes place in Rad Vlad’s seaside home. The BLU mercenaries have discovered that in order to stop the moon from colliding with Earth, they must capture all the control points in the castle in order to turn off Rad Vlad’s moon machine! But that’s not gonna be very easy at all, because the RED Team will play the role of Rad Vlad’s surfer friends who also want in on the waves!



A special look inside the all new map, Rad Vlad's Flooding Castle!


But this control point map will be like no other! For you see, each time the BLU team captures a point, the water level will rise, causing Vlad’s Castle to flood bit by bit! This all new rising water mechanic will open up all sorts of new routes as the match progresses! The control points would be spread out across the multiple floors and rooms of Vlad's cool gothic castle, and would become accessible as water levels rise. But you must watch out for swarms of bats and other creepy creatures that may lurk within the walls of the castle, as they're always ready to pounce on you!


And beware, for once the second-to-last point is captured, Rad Vlad will take matters into his own hands and will materialize from a swarm of bats! That’s right, Rad Vlad will be making an appearance as the boss character of this update, what a surprise! Rad Vlad will attack both teams, and can be defeated like a normal boss. However, the final control point can still be captured even when Rad Vlad has spawned. But he’s still a major threat for everybody! He’d have many attacks at his disposal, such as charging you down on his coffin surfboard, sending massive waves your way, turning into a horde of bats, and tossing around highly dangerous and explosive BOMBS!


Vampire At The Beach T-Shirt

"Tonight I vill surf on a wave of blood! Ah-haha!" -Rad Vlad


Once Vlad is defeated, he won’t respawn again for the rest of the match, so the last control point can be captured (or defended) with ease, which will hopefully put an end to this train-wreck of a map! If BLU wins, the moon is returned back into space where it belongs, but if RED wins, the moon collides with Earth, killing everybody. Also upon Vlad's defeat, you will be rewarded with some kind of achievement, and an all new surfer hat based off Rad Vlad’s! But that’s not the only new achievement that’ll come with this update. As always, Valve will end up deciding to make an achievement where you have to win on the map 666 times. Have fun grinding to get that one, friends!


So, I guess that all wraps up this year’s spine-chilling Halloween Update Idea. While it’d be quite nice to get something this big and scary for Scream Fortress this year, we better not get our hopes too high. Because as we all know, TF2 is dead... and that is quite fitting for this spooky season! So expect nothing this year. Anywho, I’ll see you all next time when I bring back yet another classic from Old-SPUF that I’m sure none of you will remember! But until then, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing out!

Edited by LordAIDS Monkey

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