Comeau

I could still use some ideas for creative corpse-usage.

 

Reanimation is still the only thing in my mind.

Maybe he's trying to dissect a body? I mean, he IS called "Doc".

The Fury begins to spout out a monologue about himself at the squirrel; clearly he thinks he's talking to someone else. Any who, here goes:

 

"I am THE FURY... The flames of my rage will INCINERATE YOU! I came back from space, and as I returned, I had one vision... the world set ablaze! And do you know what I saw? FURY! A great and terrible fury at being alive! Now you will feel the scorching heat of that horrible blackness!"

 

(I would like to make note that The Fury, on death, activates his microbomb given to every member of the Cobra Unit in Metal Gear Solid 3.

As far as I'm aware, bullets don't count as a special attack.

Anyway, TUS is well know for his remarkable stamina and defense, so while the bullets did do some damage, it wasn't very effective.

 

Even IF TUS is apparently able to resist the ability for bullets to not only puncture through his armor AND make holes in him like swiss cheese, Carbonadium has a nasty habit of leaving radiation in it's victims; it's the reason why you can kill people like, say, Wolverine with it. The rads in that thing casually bust healing factors.

 

So, by the logic that the extremely radioactive quality of Carbonadium is so potent and lethal that it's immediate effects can stop healing factors, our ol' friend should be dead in seconds. Have fun!

 

Oh, and please don't try and argue "such bullshit, OP"; it's meant to 1) counter all of the armor worn by everyone (much like Rynjin has his adamantium), and 2) be a buff to the pathetically human and vulnerable Comeau (sure, motherfuck has near bullet time reaction-speed and reflexes, but he is not durable).

Oh god, is this going to be a three-way fight? Because if so, then the Urban Sweeper is gonna get stomped.

Welp, might as well join the bandwagon.

 

Name: The Fury

Bio: The Fury was a member of the Cobra Unit, the founding fathers of all special forces. He went to space one time; bad move. Somehow he got on Planet Ajax.

Physical Description: Right here.

Likes: Fire, chaos, burning things, space. Also FURY

Dislikes: Humanity, Life, and things not on fire.

Starting Weapon: His burning fists. He lost his flamethrower, and is sad.

Favoured Side: FUUUUUUUUUURYYYYY

Rynjin pls save me ;_;

I dun wanna die to a bad joke

Hey guys, wanna hunt the Ender Dragon?

 

Here's the plan:

 

1. Buy Blaze Powder from Binary/Doop/DualJay/SOMEBODY

 

2. Genocide every last Enderman

 

3. Every man for himself hunt to find portal and activate it

 

4. Meet up with Ender Chests

 

5. Kill Ender Dragon with the fury of a thousand suns, setting up the Dragon Egg in spawn

 

6. ???

 

7. Loss of money.

 

What do you guys think?

Guys, I've decided that Jaucke is gonna wear Auroch Hide armor; literally Hide armor.

 

Not only does it avoid the argument of scale mail altogether, but it also provides similar amounts of defense.

 

Hopefully issue is resolved?

Alright, changed the Naga hide to Snake hide. Tis' all good, right? Right? please tell me I'm okay

If Jaucke wants to be a Feral Orc, why doesn't he just be a Feral Orc?

 

 

 

Feral: Orcs have the ability to fend for themselves long before they master the rudiments of their language and culture. Having needed to hunt bugs and tiny animals for food to survive while still infants, feral orcs fight all the harder to survive when at the brink of death. Orcs with this racial trait gain Survival as a class skill and gain a +1 racial bonus on melee weapon attack and damage rolls when at negative hit points. This racial trait replaces the orc's weapon familiarity and automatic languages. Feral orcs without additional languages due to high Intelligence scores or ranks in Linguistics can only communicate with grunts and gestures.

 

I mean at that point the rest of the party would be well within their rights to keep Jaucke on a leash and only let him off when it was time for AM BARBARIAN, AM SMASH but it is what you said you wanted to be.

 

Jaucke wasn't feral to the definition of the racial trait by the same name. I used "feral" to describe what is best defined as "non-domesticated behavior"; how an orc would live within their own societies and cultures. The desire of Jaucke is to be "feral"; to shed the skin of abuse and shame by the slaver humans that he bears for good; and to be comfortable with living his "life" again.

 

EDIT:

 

 

For scale mail, I've decided to pass it off as Guardian Naga skin. If you're questioning how Jaucke could kill one, DON'T; it's better that way.

The only creature that has scales within Jaucke's assumed residence (a Temperate Plains/Desert outside of Sandpoint) is a Guardian Naga. Please elaborate to me on why or how this is a shitty choice.

 

Because a Gaurdian Naga is a CR 10 creature, and basically an Oracle/Sorcerer Gestalt besides.

 

Meaning it could kill Jaucke and roughly 12 others like him without breaking a sweat (in one shot if they were all standing in a line, no less...).

 

It's just silly that he managed to kill one and it's an unnecessary complication.

 

You want a creature with scales to make your clothes out of?

 

Snakes and lizards exist, bruh.

 

Oh also the fact that Scale Mail isn't literally made of scales so yeah  

I'm not really saying it's a shitty choice, but a guardian naga is roughly as difficult to kill as most young dragons (Both large creatures, CR 9-10).  If you go by the item creation rules set forth with dragonhide (one dragon = one set of hide armor for a creature one size category smaller) and you say that the price of naga skin would roughly be that of dragonhide (assuming CR is equal to relative rarity of whatever trophy comes from the animal) then a set of guardian naga skin armor would be twice that of a masterwork set of armor.  Even if the armor doesn't give any bonuses, you can't just pick and choose and say stuff like that it's made from the skin of something that could literally beat the shit out of a dragon, and you killed it yourself.  So I'm not saying it's a crappy choice...but it just doesn't really make sense, in-game.

 

EDIT: Dammit Rynjin, you ninja'd me.

okay then. snakeskin it is. really, really durable snakeskin.

If Jaucke wants to be a Feral Orc, why doesn't he just be a Feral Orc?

 

 

 

Feral: Orcs have the ability to fend for themselves long before they master the rudiments of their language and culture. Having needed to hunt bugs and tiny animals for food to survive while still infants, feral orcs fight all the harder to survive when at the brink of death. Orcs with this racial trait gain Survival as a class skill and gain a +1 racial bonus on melee weapon attack and damage rolls when at negative hit points. This racial trait replaces the orc's weapon familiarity and automatic languages. Feral orcs without additional languages due to high Intelligence scores or ranks in Linguistics can only communicate with grunts and gestures.

 

I mean at that point the rest of the party would be well within their rights to keep Jaucke on a leash and only let him off when it was time for AM BARBARIAN, AM SMASH but it is what you said you wanted to be.

 

Jaucke wasn't feral to the definition of the racial trait by the same name. I used "feral" to describe what is best defined as "non-domesticated behavior"; how an orc would live within their own societies and cultures. The desire of Jaucke is to be "feral"; to shed the skin of abuse and shame by the slaver humans that he bears for good; and to be comfortable with living his "life" again.

 

EDIT:

 

 

 

 

 

For scale mail, I've decided to pass it off as Guardian Naga skin. If you're questioning how Jaucke could kill one, DON'T; it's better that way.

 

 

The only creature that has scales within Jaucke's assumed residence (a Temperate Plains/Desert outside of Sandpoint) is a Guardian Naga. Please elaborate to me on why or how this is a shitty choice.

For me, I could imagine only a few unique points that I believe we'd all appreciate:

 

- Community designed, balanced, and tested weapons. We're sick and tired of fucking hats.

 

- A free taunt, distributed to all players; a tearful salute (or some gesture of remembrance) for all classes with a dirgeful rendition of the "Meet the Team" theme's conclusion. It would only be respectful to honor the Last Update.

 

- Free-to-players get buffed to premium from the announcement date to the update day.

 

- Retired hats return to sale; all hats, weapons and items return and are sold for 50% off at the Mann Co. Store

 

- A series of community thank you messages dedicated to these people (list is not final, and is based off of my knowledge):

 

"Steam Powered User Forums

 

Steam Powered User Discussion

 

Kritzkast

 

Facepunch

 

Reddit

 

The Steam Workshop community

 

The users of the Official Team Fortress Wiki

 

WETA Workshop

 

. . . and to the brave, loyal, and wonderful players of this game."

 

- Unfix the Kamikaze taunt glitch

 

- Award the Steam user with the longest play time on Team Fortress 2 some celebratory hat.

 

Aaaaaaand that's all I've got.

Jaucke is back.

 

Changelog (for those who need it):

[spoiler2]

 - Followed Cube's advice in Ability Scores, Skills, and all that jazz

 

 - Jaucke now has Axe to Grind and Tusked for traits, as well as Power Attack for his feat

 

 - Gave that man a suit of Guardian Naga hide; scale mail would only bring gauntlet trouble. And nobody wants to have to take Two-Weapon Fighting at 1st level. NOBODY.[/spoiler2]

 

And that concludes the changelog! Please tell me what I should change, fix, or clean up.

1. And the what?

 

2. You won't have enough to skill monkey effectively. 3/level is fine.

 

3. -

 

4. Kn Nature, Perception, and Survival would probably be your main skills then.

 

5. I get that you're trying to play your character. I also get that you want to support the team. Just keep in mind: you sacrifice some "character" so that you won't have to sacrifice your character when he dies. And there's nothing preventing you from flavoring armor as pure animal hides or whatever.

 

6. -

 

That should be it. While Cube's away, I can check your char to make sure all the numbers are right some time tomorrow.

 

Got it; expect the updated sheet by tomorrow morning.

 

For scale mail, I've decided to pass it off as Guardian Naga skin. If you're questioning how Jaucke could kill one, DON'T; it's better that way.

Okay, back from the trip. I'll respond to each of these points you've made.

 

Alright Comeau, we need to have a little chat.
 
1. First of all, you somehow have two feats despite being neither a fighter nor a human. And I really think you should take Power Attack to start with, you can get that other rage-based stuff later.
 
2. Second, your stats are a little weird. You really don't need Int or Cha, and you should definitely not have a Wis penalty.
 
3. Here's what I would suggest: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 5. Remember, you're a melee combatant. You need to be great at taking hits and causing ridiculous amounts of damage - little else matters to you.
 
4. As for skills...you are a 1st level character, you can only have 1 rank in any skill. And you get one less rank with the Int penalty. I'd suggest you forget about Kn. Nature. For the most part, you can leave Int- and Cha-based skills to the smarter, prettier classes. If you want Intimidate, I suggest you pick up Intimidating Prowess later - it adds your Str bonus to Intimidate checks. In the meantime, I'd go with Perception, Climb, and Swim.
 
5. The Savage Barbarian class looks terrible. Drop it and get yourself some armor. Preferably something medium, since high AC is more important than move speed. I think you'll want scale mail, you can definitely afford it.
 
6. Now traits...why the heck do you want a bonus on Bluff and Linguistics? I'd swap that out for this. Mo' attacks, mo' fun.

 

1. My apologies for the extra feat crap; my mistake. However, the Rage feats I'm going for make it easier for me to set up something I plan to do with Renewed Vigor, the Ferocity racial trait, and Ferocious Tenacity.

 

2. Intelligence is GREAT for skills, though I do understand the uselessness of it.

 

3. Part of this point is an important for a later answer; but I understand the stat changes.

 

4. Skill Ranks I originally wanted for Kn. Nature (I'm trying to set up Jaucke entering the town via supposed "invasion" of Sandpoint, meeting up with the party, and deciding to help because goblins are jerks, if that's a possible thing) so that I can have an excuse for Jaucke to survive amongst the wilderness later in the campaign (primarily Skinsaw, Hook Mountain, and Sins of the Saviour). If this is not an issue at all, PLEASE let me know.

 

5. Now here's where I'd like to voice a stupid, character-based opinion of mine. Don't worry, I'll change my class no matter what the response:

 

[spoiler2]Jaucke, despite all logic against it, strives even in the face of death to embrace his shattered dream of being a "normal, feral Orc" once again. He eats raw game and drinks coffee from wild beans; he lives in the wastelands outside of all civilization; he wears furs from his hunts! Jaucke does this not for his own safety or any logical reason, but so that he can feel happy. So that he can repress the torture, the abuse, and the slavery that's he's experienced the last 17 years of his life. The orc called Jaucke is a fool, trying to relive a side of his life that's died a long, long time ago.

 

The Savage Barbarian plays a role (however much it may "suck", I can understand) that Jaucke fits into; with little to no understanding of proper fighting technique, he's already a Barbarian. Then, bearing no protection other than the greenskin and furs that he wears with pride and faith, Jaucke slips into being a Savage Barbarian. That, and I recall you saying something like this:

 

3. Here's what I would suggest: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 5. Remember, you're a melee combatant. You need to be great at taking hits and causing ridiculous amounts of damage - little else matters to you.

 

From what I read, the Savage Barbarian gets some bonuses to AC via dodge and natural armor whilst not wearing armor (though I recognize the former is every 6 levels, and the latter is from level 7 and beyond). I'm not going to preach that it's good, but it can be worked out. In addition, I have in mind a build using Guarded Life, Renewed Vigor and the Beast Totem when I get to that mountain.

 

All in all, I voice this not in total regards to stats, but to embracing a character; maybe sacrificing some potential for first-time success for experimentation and investment into an idea I've thought out. But in the end, I need to support you guys, not myself.[/spoiler2]

 

6. I like it; no arguments against it (also works with character crap I was spouting on about back on point #5)!

 

All in all, these all seem like fluid changes you're suggesting. I think I'll go reg. Barbarian, despite me not wanting to deal with Trap Sense crap.

I'm considering Invulnerable Rager for Jaucke, personally. Any advice on that front?

Alright Comeau, we need to have a little chat. First of all, you somehow have two feats despite being neither a fighter nor a human. And I really think you should take Power Attack to start with, you can get that other rage-based stuff later. Second, your stats are a little weird. You really don't need Int or Cha, and you should definitely not have a Wis penalty. Here's what I would suggest: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 5. Remember, you're a melee combatant. You need to be great at taking hits and causing ridiculous amounts of damage - little else matters to you. As for skills...you are a 1st level character, you can only have 1 rank in any skill. And you get one less rank with the Int penalty. I'd suggest you forget about Kn. Nature. For the most part, you can leave Int- and Cha-based skills to the smarter, prettier classes. If you want Intimidate, I suggest you pick up Intimidating Prowess later - it adds your Str bonus to Intimidate checks. In the meantime, I'd go with Perception, Climb, and Swim. The Savage Barbarian class looks terrible. Drop it and get yourself some armor. Preferably something medium, since high AC is more important than move speed. I think you'll want scale mail, you can definitely afford it. Now traits...why the heck do you want a bonus on Bluff and Linguistics? I'd swap that out for this. Mo' attacks, mo' fun.

I will fix these when I get back from band tour.

plz cube i'm not good at playing whores

Check your privelege, kek.

You're pretty lucky to have your gaddamned spot in this campaign, boy. Follow the fockin' rules.

I'm sorta surprised that I'm the only one who seems to have a crafted backstory for my PC!

 

If any of you DO wish to listen to such a tale, I'll have it on my Character Profile.

4th Edition Monk Lover.

Hey

HEY

 

I NEVER said you didn't need it to start with J just because you aren't going with Jared!

 

For fuck's sake I gave you the compromise of starting with J and including an A SOMEWHERE, and you couldn't even manage that!

Do you think this is a goddamn JOKE?!

The list of sample female elf names even has one that that starts with 'Ja', Jathal! They fucking spoon-fed that shit to you and you didn't take it!

 

Guess what asshole, you're Jathal. No matter what your character sheet says, no matter what you call yourself, you will be known by me and all NPCs as Jathal.

You are so fucking lucky I want an elf wizard.motherfucker trying to mess with my jack campaign give him an inch an he takes a whole consonant can't even leave him alone for a few hours

Coincidentally, Jathal sounds like "ja' fool" and "j'awful".

WE SHALL PUNISH THE HERETIC.

Is he that kind of rogue?

 

Also, Sapphina the Wizard. (I got the Jack requirement waived after pointing out that the only "Ja"ck-alternative was Jared the Butch Lesbian.)

Change the share settings, ya dink. We can't access it.

I safely await the moment when I can fight the Urban Sweeper.

 

It shall be glorious; an argument between "SCRUBLORD 360NOSCOPE" and "Strategy and military doctrine, biatch".

Here's Jaucke the Barbarian Maniac!

Oh god, computer infected with something called Mysearchdial.

 

What do?