Teddster

2:33 PM - Enji: Quick. 2:33 PM - Ted: I refuse 2:33 PM - Enji: Bioshock 2, yes or no?

Some spoilers.

Chapter 13 Buddha reported the incoming attack a few hours after the Lurkers had agreed to help them. Corvette and Comeau were helping the Lurkers set up a post in the village when Buddha came in. He quickly reported to Commander, who organized a defense force around the village, consisting of SPUFers and Lurkers. Cube was appointed to the head of this force. “Alright men,” Cube said, giving a speech to raise morale. “First things first-“ If you people want to win, you have to listen to me! Tell them that, Cube, I can’t issue orders correctly in speech form. “You’re not real!” Cube screamed and ran off, away from the truth. As Commander pondered the idiocy of appointing Cube to lead SPUF against BurtonJ, Cube returned and gave such a great speech that a star wept. Sadly he only gave a good speech in his head and mucked it up in front of everyone else. Everyone prepared for the incoming attack. ***** Cell wandered around, completely dazed. He stepped over numerous piles of rubble and bodies to escape. Eventually, he found a doorway (with the door ripped out) and stepped through. He was in a large, dark room. There was a desk with a dead Troll slumped over it. The floor was covered in blood and dust. The remains of a potted plant lay in one corner. Three Troll bodies lay around a third body, a man who looked exactly like a SPUFer but with a terrible burn on the left side of his face. He stumbled out of the building, through a set of destroyed double doors. Outside was no better. The grass was filled with bodies, including more scarred men like the one inside, but Cell noticed significantly more Troll bodies. That’s when a small group of them came from the nearby forest. There were half a dozen of them, men scarred and burned and even one with a missing arm. One of them, with an eye patch over his right eye, pointed at Cell and yelled. Cell turned and ran. ***** They arrived thirty minutes later. The first one to appear was a lone Troll, screaming insults and generally jeering the SPUFers. Skye shot him down fairly quickly, but then a dozen more Trolls appeared. The SPUFers opened fire, and the entire Troll force charged SubSPUF. TOO BAD BECAUSE THE BATTLE IS APPEARING NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON VALVE TIME

Yesterday I got a Big Chief. Dont like the hat but I felt like I get special mentions anyways.

See, Commander, you're a cool guy. That means you wont die. Probably.

Ted: Professional Bird Watcher 2012

Chapter 12 Due to stupid author magic or some shit Skye, Ted, and everyone alive except Cell are now back in SPUFVille or whatever the hell I called it. For all I know they were all already in SPUFVille but I don’t know since I haven’t written this damn thing in, what, 2 months? Skye was busy explaining the Guests to the rest of SPUF when one of their scouts posted outside the village. It was Cactus, and he was yelling about something he saw. “What is it?” Commander asked, notably annoyed at the interruption. “There are some Lurkers heading straight towards us!” Cactus said. “But… They’re under the White Hat of Truce.” Commander (who was obviously in charge at the moment since I guess Ian wasn’t there he was with Valve) thought about this for a moment. Finally, he said, “Let their leader in. I want to talk to him alone.” Within the next twenty minutes Commander had set up a small room inside the nearest building and sat at a desk. The Lurker Leader sat across from him, memorizing the layout of the room. Commander waited impatiently and cleared his throat multiple times. Unfortunately the Lurkers weren’t very good at taking hints. “The hell do you want?” Commander finally said as he reached the end of his patience. “Well,” the Lurker simply. “We want revenge.” “That’s nice,” Commander replied. “Why didn’t you just attack us, then?” The Lurker chuckled. “Oh, you misunderstand me! My clan, we do not want revenge on you. We want to get revenge on the one who convinced us to go to war with you! That war cost us many lives. Multiple clans were completely wiped out, and many of our resources were wasted!” “Well, too bad for you,” Commander said. “Eram’s already dead, and we can’t really help you in any way, considering we’re in wartime right now as well.” “We have come to offer assistance,” the Lurker said. “Both your higher ups and our… cousins are trying to destroy you. We have come to make sure you do not get destroyed.” “And what do you get in return?” Commander asked. “The thing we first attacked you for,” the Lurker said. “We hate how you are all loud and whiny and noisy and annoying. We simply want a village to ourselves, peaceful and quiet.” “I can’t give that to you,” Commander said. “But I can try my best if you’ll fight for us.” The Lurker held out his hand and shook it. They had a deal. ***** Enig and ACubeGod lay dead at Burton’s feet. He glanced at them yet again, and finally called for them to be removed. The pool of blood on the floor was getting larger, and Burton didn’t want to stain the carpet. These two were his newest present from the Guests. He had sent them both to try to persuade them to help him crush the SPUFers. They were sent back in a much worse and less alive condition then they left in. He sank back in his chair and dialed his phone. After a short pause, someone answered. Burton and the man chatted about his military strength for a while, when finally Burton decided what he was going to do. “Kill them,” he said. “SPUF and the Guests and anyone else you happen to come across. Kill them all.” ***** THERE ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING VULTURES GEEZ

Equiushades.

that Medigun I would love that Medigun :L

Why hello there, love. I dont know much why everyone here dislikes you, but I'm a great judge of a person. So... On Christmas Eve, Day, and the day after, your socks MUST include the colors lime, burgundy, and what other color? Obviously, this doesn't take place in leap years or if Christmas is on a Wednesday. oh god she's back i dont even remember Jess's font color i may have to make a quick edit since i just guessed

I dont know about me or Simon, but I absolutely know that Verumae has always wanted to be skinned. You should go try it out on him. It'll be a nice Christmas present for him.

Are you willing to go on an adventure to become a real boy?

and suddenly everyone hated Cubie because of this thread

God dammit whoever I intended to do this same thing.

yeah they're switched also you failed to bold Quinn's name :thumbsdown:

Hey guys. I've got something for you to read :L I just sent it to Rammite. It's a Homestuck fan adventure but it's actually good. It's called Guidestuck. It follows the 4 characters - Becquerel Harley, Jaspers Frigglish Lalonde, Quinn Egbert, and Cal Strider - playing a session of Sburb Omega that's doomed to failure. Yay.

oh I misunderstood you they're good at the game but they're all jerks still remember those guys being mad because of that one scout

calculatedChaos having a good community...? Ha, that one's hilarious Rammite.

Magickus x Verumae's corpse OTP

HEY GUYS I'M BACK FOR GOOD NOW NOW DONT FUCKING SHIP ME I HAVE GOOD REASONS FOR EVERYTHING

Leave me out of this.

Chapter 11 Cell groaned and slowly stood up, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head. The pain slowly faded away and he glanced around. He was in a small room, with a large machine on one side that was completely destroyed. Doopliss was on the floor nearby. The room was in disrepair – patches of the floor and ceiling were missing with some still falling in. Nearby, he saw the body of two Trolls lying on their backs in a pool of blood. Cell glanced over at Doop a moment before part of the ceiling fell and crushed him like Nitzan’s shitty death in the Lurkers Attack. Cell glanced around the room and went to find his way out. ***** The Guests. A forgotten rank of SPUF, years ago they were the lowest class. The normal SPUFers hated them and they were discriminated and constantly harassed. Eventually, the complaints about the Guests filed up and Valve decided to do something about them. That’s when the bloodiest and least known mark in SPUF History happened. All the guests were rounded up by Valve, and they were shipped off to a remote island. The project was led by a new moderator, and all the Guests were slaughtered. In mass groups, or one by one, they were killed off. The Moderator watching it got lazy and left. That’s when the Guests fought back. They took over the island, mercilessly slaughtered all the Valve Workers watching over the project. But they were quiet about it – they didn’t let Valve know. For years they waited, gathering strength, raising an army, sending in spies. Soon, the Lurker War had begun, and soon after the Civil War officially started. That’s when the Guests decided to attack. They began by taking the Half Life 2 Forum – every SPUFer there was killed quickly and quietly. They spread out, taking other forums, slaughtering every SPUFer they had found, and eventually they started staking out their biggest targets – Valve’s HQ, BurtonJ’s personal prison, and the TF2 Forum. Skye heard leaves crunching behind him and quickly closed the laptop, running off. ***** Meanwhile, Bowie and DualJay were doing some disgusting ass shipping between themselves. Seriously, it was fucking terrible. If I even tried to mention it I think I’d be thrown in prison for life. Damn you guys are weird. THERE ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING HAPPY

I support this notion.

They're not a fan of creativity though