Idiot Cube

Words cannot express my love for the BOOOONNE FIIISSSSST. I urge you to invest in enough Str and Dex to powerstance it, if you haven't already. You don't need to bother with a second one, a cestus on your left hand will do.

Nah but you can get powers from a divine spirit and be a cleric. Or from a demon and be an edgelord-cleric. I'm sure "aliens" can't be anything too bad.

You could take Telepathy and create a mental illusion that spans the entire planet, so that everyone thinks you have all the powers!

If supernatural threats are commonplace, I'd be a superhero and take flying brick or bruiser. I like the idea of knocking bad guys and monsters into next week with my fists alone. But if other superhumans are nonexistent, I'd live my life as normal and go with precognition. Seems pretty easy to hide, as long as I don't react to every single one of my predictions. I always hate having to deal with unknown variables and adapt to things I wasn't expecting - being able to plan for literally everything would be pretty sweet. In terms of obtaining powers, magic and super-science are the most "sensible" - that is, they make it easier to suspend your disbelief. But there's just something I find really cool about being able to perform impossible feats just because you worked really hard for it.

You have to call the number on the back of the coconut before you can start using it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

But if I admit that my candidate said something that was factually incorrect, then I would have to start using CRITICAL THINKING to decide whether or not I should really be giving them my support! And then I'd have to start considering the benefits of both parties without blindly demonizing one of them! Or worse, I might even consider a THIRD party!!! Why do you hate America, Wulff?!?!?!?!

I'd be getting a lot of snow here, if it weren't for a number of factors.

Why did the short vampire hunter have trouble getting the implements of his trade off the top shelf at the monster hunter supermarket?

while (true) { cout << "nerds "; }

Titanfall 2 because goddammit more people need to be playing it. Honorable mention goes to Overwatch for reminding me that competitive gaming is, and always will be, cancer.

My resolution is to keep being awesome. Happy nerd year.

COUGHmarketinggimmickCOUGH

wow alright I guess I'll just go kill myself then bye nerds

I will now call you all nerds and pretend to be above you for comedic effect. You are all nerds.

Nobody respects the sword anymore. Also, wait until you see the ending, Rynj. I think you'll like it.

Wait, what was he saying? I was distracted by the portal through infinite parallel universes that opened behind him.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but the story has stopped involving Jack and Leo, and therefore became objectively worse.

Perfect.

I mean, if I ever end up having to use a weapon for self-defense, that probably means I'm doomed to die anyway. Might as well make it funny for myself and mildly annoying for my attacker.

If I ever decide to buy a gun, it'll probably be this one.

There were still some unironically good ones, though. But I agree that The Joke® had pretty much run its course. Guess it's better to go out while they still have some dignity. And before the fucking bean could come back.

Fuck.