Idiot Cube

Help Raz be reunited with his true love.

Talk with him for a little. You can always fatten him up and kill him for bacon later.

You can't outrun a horny Rape Yeti. Let him have his way with you.

Alert your partners, but demand to continue anyway under threat of castration.

Put the glove on your hand, then

TF2 can't be violent because it's obviously a kid's game! Look at those cartoony men!

> Castrate the larger man to establish superiority

Don't go anywhere without retrieving your arms first, numbnuts. Then go left.

Coolies. So who's up for a practice match right now?

I am ready to begin my training, masters. I might or might not have to leave in the middle of the game. If I do, I will apologize profusely until my fingers are numb.

A boring-ass game where you just run around in the sand a lot. Sometimes you randomly meet other people online, but you can't talk with them so what's the point?

Yeah, pretty much. But I'm not planning on having it grow into a full-sized story like Skye's. I'll end it when I get bored with it, and then do...something else, I guess. And I kind of want to make a Cubified Razputin avatar! What a coincidence!

Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. No. This is not good.

I'd be happy to be a guinea pig for your guide, since I am the noobiest of noobs.

If you do, I'll respond with more Austin Wintory fangasms. Nobody wants that.

I love how whenever I make a thread about a game, it gets derailed in record time. How 'bout we get things back on track with some gameplay footage and an awesome ragtime ditty?

> Be the other Jack ** IMAGE NOT AVAILABLE ** You can't be the other Jack because there is no other Jack. The Jack you're being right now is the only Jack in the entire Cube-iverse. And you wouldn't have it any other way. You hate the idea of multiple versions of you existing elsewhere, cramping your style indirectly. You sure are glad you're the one and only Jack. > Reminisce on how you obtained the knife. Ah, yes. The story of how you obtained the legendary SPADEBLADE is an epic tale spanning multiple fully-animated panels, and involves the non-canonical slaughter of billions of characters from just about every work of fiction ever. It all started when you were hired by Crash Bandicoot to assassinate Prince Hamlet... Aw, who are you kidding. You don't remember how you got this stupid knife. You probably found it in a chest somewhere and decided that a beautiful little knife like this deserves to get out and see the world, not spend all day cooped up in said chest. > Wonder why your knife is exactly like the one Cube has You've heard the legends about the ORIGINAL SPADEBLADE, and how the IMPERIAL CARTOONIFIER used it to carve an entire universe from the blank fabric of spacetime. It's a neat story, but you are pretty sure that your knife is just a cheap imitation of the original. Yep, the IC definitely didn't hide his SPADEBLADE in a chest so that thousands of years later you would find it and begin your life as a professional dude-stabber. That would be silly.

Good one, Cheese. But the game actually brings a lot of unique gameplay elements to the top-down table. And once again, this game will have music by AUSTIN FUCKING WINTORY. That's really the only selling point this game needs.

I love how the Condesce makes no effort to speak like royalty. That's our Meenah!

Hey, don't dis Jon's singing voice. Dude has the voice of a fat, bearded angel.

Cube used BANDWAGON HOP! Oh, yeah! I hate that PewterPie so much! He is literally worse than the test tube baby of Hitler, Satan, Justin Bieber, and every Twilight fan. I have definitely not not seen any of his videos, so my opinion is totally valid. It's super effective!

Autism != low IQ.

WE HAVE AIR PIRATES??? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED ABOUT THIS??????

But Corv... I'm always watching! [OuO]