Idiot Cube

I love how whenever I make a thread about a game, it gets derailed in record time. How 'bout we get things back on track with some gameplay footage and an awesome ragtime ditty?

> Be the other Jack ** IMAGE NOT AVAILABLE ** You can't be the other Jack because there is no other Jack. The Jack you're being right now is the only Jack in the entire Cube-iverse. And you wouldn't have it any other way. You hate the idea of multiple versions of you existing elsewhere, cramping your style indirectly. You sure are glad you're the one and only Jack. > Reminisce on how you obtained the knife. Ah, yes. The story of how you obtained the legendary SPADEBLADE is an epic tale spanning multiple fully-animated panels, and involves the non-canonical slaughter of billions of characters from just about every work of fiction ever. It all started when you were hired by Crash Bandicoot to assassinate Prince Hamlet... Aw, who are you kidding. You don't remember how you got this stupid knife. You probably found it in a chest somewhere and decided that a beautiful little knife like this deserves to get out and see the world, not spend all day cooped up in said chest. > Wonder why your knife is exactly like the one Cube has You've heard the legends about the ORIGINAL SPADEBLADE, and how the IMPERIAL CARTOONIFIER used it to carve an entire universe from the blank fabric of spacetime. It's a neat story, but you are pretty sure that your knife is just a cheap imitation of the original. Yep, the IC definitely didn't hide his SPADEBLADE in a chest so that thousands of years later you would find it and begin your life as a professional dude-stabber. That would be silly.

Good one, Cheese. But the game actually brings a lot of unique gameplay elements to the top-down table. And once again, this game will have music by AUSTIN FUCKING WINTORY. That's really the only selling point this game needs.

I love how the Condesce makes no effort to speak like royalty. That's our Meenah!

Hey, don't dis Jon's singing voice. Dude has the voice of a fat, bearded angel.

Cube used BANDWAGON HOP! Oh, yeah! I hate that PewterPie so much! He is literally worse than the test tube baby of Hitler, Satan, Justin Bieber, and every Twilight fan. I have definitely not not seen any of his videos, so my opinion is totally valid. It's super effective!

Autism != low IQ.

WE HAVE AIR PIRATES??? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED ABOUT THIS??????

But Corv... I'm always watching! [OuO]

Oh, great. Now DAD's competing for the title of Cube's Favorite Character! TOO MANY CLASSY DUDES IN THIS HAMSTEAK!!! ERROR: D'AWW OVERLOAD!

Okay, so the general idea is that different heroes are useful at different points in the game. Makes sense. So, how long does an average game last? Like, would you measure it in minutes, or hours?

Real men code in Jabba. Wear a leather bikini while compiling for best results.

'preciate it! [ouo] It'll take me a few days to finish up with finals and get settled at home, but I'll let you know when I'm ready!

I didn't say that. I am now at Level 1 of DOTA nerdiness, whereas you guys all have levels in the double- and triple-digits.

Oh, I just realized. Now I need to be able to tell what the fuck you guys are talking about all the time in this thread. Gone are the days when I could glance at this thread, see words like "carry" and "jungling" and think to myself, "Ha! These guys are NEEEEERDS for knowing all this terminology!" But now I must learn to take upon the terminology myself. I am the NEEEEERD now. It is me.

Once again, I am going to put "Ye Olde Moustache Powered Organization for Gentlemen" on the table.

[*O*] Thanks, DVD! Once finals are done, I am going to spend my whole winter break trying to figure out how to play this!

Okay, let's see here... Items: 1. A plate of ASSORTED CHRISTMAS COOKIES (made by my cousin, not me.) 2. The ARDUINO BOARD I'm using for my assembly language class. 3. A wool figurine of my OC, the TOAST WIZARD 4. My MACBOOK PRO Wepon: MY DAMN BARE CORNERS!!! (And for the sake of cool alchemization possibilities, let's say I somehow got the captcha code for one of my corners.) Strife specibus: Cornerkind Alright, let's get cracking! > Cube: Combine CHRISTMAS COOKIES and TOAST WIZARD You make the GINGERBREAD WIZARD! This tasty treat wields the ancient forbidden magics of SUGAY SPICES, and retains its demonic crunchiness even when submerged in a glass of HOLY MILK!!! > Combine CUBE'S CORNER and MACBOOK PRO You make the iCORNER! Because every SBURB player needs a cool hands-free computing device! Since this thing was built in the exact shape and size of your corner, it fits over your real corner perfectly! How convenient! > Combine ARDUINO BOARD and MACBOOK PRO You make the ARDUAPPLE BOARD! It has the meager capabilities of the arduino microprocessor, combined with the sleek, overpriced appearance of a Mac! You have a feeling that this thing won't be very useful for computing purposes. However, it also has the sharp corners of the Arduono board, combined with the tough aluminum finish of the Mac! You cannot let such a fantastic CORNER-BASED WEAPON go to waste. You allocate it to your STRIFE DECK. > Combine TOAST WIZARD and ARDUINO BOARD You make TW-32, a miniature android Toast Wizard with programmable spells! Aw, he's so adorable! He thinks he's alive! [OwO] > Combine TOAST WIZARD and MACBOOK PRO NO. If the TW32 is intelligent enough to believe that it is alive, then the ULTIMATE SORCERER OF APPLEBREAD would most likely be smart enough to kill you and use its dark powers to destroy the entire icinisphere! You sure are glad there isn't any conceivable situation in which someone with malicious intent might be able to obtain this recipe and use it to create this aluminum monstrosity. That would be quite unfortunate. > Combine CHRISTMAS COOKIES and MACBOOK PRO You make the MERRYBOOK PRO-PERMINT, a festive holiday-themed computer with a delicious candy cane exterior! You think you'll use this until Christmas is over, or until you've licked the casing away completely. Whichever comes first. > Combine CUBE'S CORNER and CHRISTMAS COOKIES You make the CANDY CORNER, which looks tasty and festive but probably isn't very useful as a weapon. Still, this is a good opportunity to accessorize! You make a few more of these and wear them. Your FESTIVE GARB stat gains a considerable boost. > Combine CUBE'S CORNER and TOAST WIZARD You make the TOASTY MAGIC CORNER, which looks like a scrap of TW's robe and a piece of his toast-head were haphazardly folded into the shape of a cubic corner. It looks kind of ugly, but it probably has MAGICAL PROPERTIES! If only there were some way to spruce its appearance up a little... > Combine TOASTY MAGIC CORNER and CHRISTMAS COOKIES Now this is more like it! You make the MIRACLE ON THE CORNER OF 34TH STREET AND ASSKICK AVENUE, the ultimate cuboid accessory for seasonal fashion and DESTRUCTIVE CHRISTMAS MAGIC!!! FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Maybe I should make pictures for some of this stuff...

Friendshipickus []

On the first day of Smissmass my 'zilla gave to me: Zero fucks.

[.___.]

BUT WHAT IF THE PASSWORD YOU'RE THINKING OF IS JUST A FAKE ONE THE RUSSIANS PUT IN YOUR MIND??? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE IT'S IN YOUR MEMORY NOW, AND YOU CAN'T REMEMBER USING ANY OTHER ONE!!!

OH MY GOD THE REP EATING RUSSIANS ERASED OUR MEMORIES SO WE ALL FORGOT OUR PASSWORDS!!! WHY OH WHY DID I TAKE MY TINFOIL HAT OFF FOR ONE PICOSECOND TO SCRATCH MY HEAD???

Thee-oh-ret-i-call-lee. If your fingers were the width of a single pixel each, and you could accurately tap whichever pixel you wanted super-fast without missing, then you'd be all set.