Idiot Cube

Goddammit Hussie. I really don't like waiting months to a year for Homestuck to re-become a thing, and then having to re-read the last few pages to remind myself what's happening. It really kills whatever scraps of pacing the story had left.

I dreamt that I could hover about 10 feet off the ground by holding my breath. I found out that the amount of air I held controlled the altitude, like a balloon.I was practicing in the living room until dad came out and told me to knock it off, because it was messing up the air conditioning (somehow). It may not be as thrilling as some of the 90-minute dadaist/action movies you guys get, but I'm actually pretty happy that I remembered a dream for once.

Yeah, it just didn't occur to me to ask at the time. My bad. And I had no idea it blocked your controls altogether. I'm so sorry.

​So uh, I started playing like two days before you posted that. But I tried the referral link anyway and it seemed to work. And yeah, I'll join your club.

I often go about 5, maybe 10 MPH above the limit. This is apparently not fast enough for most people where I live. I would probably enjoy driving more if I didn't have someone riding my ass 90% of the time.

YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED

Dude, everyone in Homosuck is gay or bi. Except John, obviously.

The bro-est of sprites.

Yeah, but this one's got Wolverine claws. Snikt!

Oh...I can feel it.

Gage Medieval Fantasy pack. The Payday gang have broken into a wizard's home and stolen all his magical equipment. Includes flaming greatswords, lightning-shooting wands, invisibility scrolls, and a visual mod that replaces enemies with orcs and goblins!

Already did that. Darklurker crumpled like paper once I got some lightning on him. Getting to him is far more annoying. Is there any benefit to having two dragon chimes?

I beat the game! Sorta. Now it's time to wrap things up before NG+. First thing: Put Vendrick out of his misery. If I had done this before Nashandra I could've gotten the super secret Scholar boss and ending, but whatever. Well, he doesn't look so tough. I'll just spam lightning until he aggros, and then... Oh shit, those did nothing. And hexes do less than nothing. And he can one-hit me. I guess dragging a giant-ass sword around for however many years is a pretty good workout. Ok. I'll come back with an enchanted weapon.

I am suddenly kinda glad I blew up my old save, because I would have missed out on meeting the Scholar of the First Sin himself. It seems he doesn't appear at all if you don't trigger his first meeting, which happens at the fourth primal bonfire you light...which I skipped over last time. He's kind of an annoying prick. I can't wait to kick his ass after Nashandra.

WE ARE OUT OF UPDATE HORSES I REPEAT: WE ARE OUT OF UPDATE HORSES

Big dumb two-headed laser spider is squished. Apparently I'm doing these in the wrong order of soul memory, because I got a bunch of summonings at Iron King, and then none at Dear Freja. Or maybe nobody wants to fight Freja more than once because she's fucking annoying. Either keep your left hand occupied with a torch, or get gangbanged by spiders.

FUCKING RATS GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GET TO THE ONE WITH THE MOWHAWK! No, I will NOT join your stupid rat covenant! I'm a Sunbro for life! At least until I get bored and want to fight someone. Or rank up enough to get Sunlight Spear. Also, I'm investing heavily in both Int and Faith. Maybe I'm spreading myself too thin, but I wanna cast ALL the spells!

[F]

I've started invading people. It's pretty fun. >:D

Maybe, depending on when you're doing it.

I'm having dinner pretty soon, but I'll join later if you haven't stopped.

Wait a second, guys...this is an underdog who will have to work hard and believe in himself in order to overcome impossible odds! Western media tropes are on our side!