DualJay

Everything.

I can't remember. Where you the one I always agreed with or always disagreed with?

not enough death

It's so good. You need to start watching it now. There is no sarcasm in that statement, but if any of you can't stop watching, may God have mercy on your soul.

Monologue it.

Excuse me while I be a hypocrite and demand that you update regularly. UPDATE REGULARLY

post 2000 btw inb4someonedeletesapastpost Aren't we due for another TF2 comic soon?

Evidently I have the voice of an open-air preacher. I'm not sure if that's good or not.

Is it just me, or did his recent review of Ares just kinda suck?

I doubt it.

Disclaimer: [spoiler2] Don't expect accurate portrayals of yourself. [/spoiler2] Chapters (Links before 20 may be broken, I'll fix them when I have time): [spoiler2] Arc 1[spoiler2] Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10[/spoiler2] Arc 2[spoiler2] Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 >Chapter 20 [/spoiler2] [/spoiler2] Chapter 1 [spoiler2]Lenny Tooka’s Apartment Lenny Tooka paced, fretting. What would he do tomorrow? How could he get more rep? Dammit, he needed more rep! Thump thump thump thump thump thump turn thump thump thump thump thump thump turn. The black-clad man grinned inside. Patterns. Predictable, steady, reliable. A weakness. Thump thump thump- A quick, gentle knock on the door. Lenny glanced up and, with typical SPUFer paranoia, peeped through the peephole. Whoever was outside was a short fellow, with dark hair or maybe a black hat. Probably Harbin. They never see it coming. Lenny’s hand was on the knob. They expect a quiet entrance. Not a knock on the door. He turned it. Opened the door. The scalpel came lightning-fast, far too sudden for the poor SPUFer to do anything. A slash, right across his eye. The cut was not lethal, but the sudden shock of a decimated eye rendered Lenny unconscious - and the follow-up right cross might have helped. The black-clad man dragged him into the room and closed the door. Cut, snip, stitch, slice, fold, extract, implant, stitch. The little man went to his insane work with a methodical madness, or perhaps with a mad methodicalness. Slice, scratch, stitch. On to the brain. Gouge, beat, stab! Then back to stitching. The thing that was once a SPUFer spasmed, jerked, then stood. And with a freakishly agile contortion of its distorted limbs, it was out the window, on to the city streets. The black-clad man grinned inside. ************************** Rammire’s Office The two moderators sat across from each other, with countless documents spread out in front of them. Byron Aery, tall, thin, and with a slight beard, sipped from his coffee, then spoke, “with Lenny gone and presumably dead, that makes seven murders.” “Lenny? You sure he’s dead? He’s a spy fanatic, might be a fake.” “There’s cranial fluid matching his DNA, massive amounts of his blood, and vitreous humor all over the room, that’s how. Too much to fake practically. This was as brutal as the other disappearance - well, murder.” “Same MO?” “Yep. But Raz doesn’t think the person behind the murders is the same as the person behind the disappearance.” Silence for a moment, then Rammire - just Rammire, poor chap was an orphan - pulled out a notebook. “What do we know about the killer?” “Brutal, strong, fast. Amoral, low intellect, psychotic, random victims - again, according to Raz. The only eyewitness accounts say that it - they all called the killer an it - was horrifically deformed.” Rammire groaned. “Supernatural?” “Probably.” “Dammit.” ************************** Office of Dual & Cube’s Supernatural Consulting Octavius Cube’s eyes snapped open. He reached for the phone, moments before it started ringing. “Cube & Dual’s Supernatural Consulting, how can I be of assistance?” “This is Rammire, captain of SPUF City PD. We need to hire you. We think.” “With the murders or disappearances? What? Hold on, Jay’s yelling at me.” Binary could hear a brief struggle and a few words like always scare the clients and give me the damn phone. “Jason Dual. You wan-” In the background: “He hasn’t payed us yet!”[/spoiler2]

rule # 0 never let it get real unless huff is involved then we all get the friendship feels

I had a dream were I was Jack the Ripper, except a plague doctor in London during the black death. I had to kill people who had escaped the 'justice' the plague brought to all. Then I fought Dracula. It was pretty cool.

I dun care.

I think now would be a good time to stat that I am canonically able to ignore everything Corvette says and does.

I think now would be a good time to state that I am canonically able to smell scene shifts coming.

You'd have to get on his level to be prepared, and that's just not possible.

bro you could store brownies in his head

You're not on his level.

janitor plz we are mature spufers here. cm.dr = janitor

Gun control y/n

Yes, I know it's short. Chapter 20 [spoiler2] Penthouse Coleman preened in the full-length mirror, admiring the new suit. That book had certainly worked wonders - he was no longer awkward around women, no longer freakishly scarred. The knowledge of biosorcery had been a small price to pay for his new insight. After all, what was control of the flesh compared to control over the emotions, the desires, the urges of others? He smirked. That telepathic idiot Cube had been surprisingly easy to manipulate. He doubted the telepath would ever remember Jay giving him the letter, or, more importantly, his fantastic self stealing it. Psychics were like that - they were so full of their own power they didn’t realize they were just as vulnerable, just as easily manipulated as the rest. Still, he wouldn’t want to be in Octavius’s way when he was angry. So many things to manage. Ahab’s rage, Simon’s hate, hiring that spirit- but first, he wanted to try something. After all, he hadn’t exactly had real female companionship for a while. Well, okay, any companionship. But still, he was pretty sure he could handle a single woman. Maybe two, if he felt adventurous. With a deep breath, Coleman Eucana set out. ************************** Cube’s Supernatural Consulting Cube was, to say the least, pretty jarateed. Understandably so, considering Jay’s last act in their - now his - office was to rob him blind. He’d gotten mad enough to change the locks and all the signs with his mind - which, as an added bonus, had quite impressed Cavera. Ring. Ring. This had better not be Jay. He looked at the caller ID - Fire department? What? Had he turned the oven off? A brief conversation later, he learned that he had not. ************************** SPUF City Slums Silent staggered along, soundless even in his un-death. His clouded mind burned with anger. He couldn’t find Ahab - and not for lack of trying. Someone was laying false trails, but who? He’d encountered strange, demonic creatures whenever he should have found Ahab. He had to avenge… someone? Himself, maybe? Not far off, a man in a greatcoat watched Silent. As the undead abomination vanished around a corner, he spoke into his collar, saying “Definite undead. Probably forced soul reinsertion.” A feminine voice crackled back. “Can you deal with it?” “Yes. He’s not even remotely on my level. [/spoiler2]

Would it be possible to have the last post from the previous page show up as the first post of the next one?

Yes. But seriously, working on ch20.