DualJay

I was forced to Urban Dictionary it. Please tell me it's number 2.

Ok, will someone tell me what lolita is? No, I'm not googling it.

I'm sure I don't want anybody to find out.

They've been found out.

Doopliss is catching on.

Particularly pinky's, amirite.

Stop Marc Antony-ing us.

So yeah, double post (unless I get ninja'd) because I felt like talking about inspiration, which is what I do when running dry. The inspiration for me to start writing was a couple things. The first one was just the fact that I enjoy it - I enjoy writing, and I enjoy it when people like what I write. The second was two events here: the terribad mod banning fiasco, which tempted me to write a apocalypse one-shot; and the second was the two ponypowered debacles. Another was a book and a series I had read: Gears of the City, and the Escape From Furnace series which I just finished today (both of which inspired the biosorcery, and Escape From Furnace partially inspired something in the future). And the third, and perhaps second most important inspiration, was all of you guys. Let's be honest: most of you guys are awesome. Particular shout-outs to Cube, whose creativeness earned him the dubious honor of being my business partner, and Corvette, whose roleplaying earned him a spot as an exceedingly attractive woman.' And the biggest inspiration? Well, to borrow a thought from our good friend Lenny Tooka:

I will kill the next person who continues this chain.

There's no "these days". Humanity is and always has been screwed up, now they've just got better tools to "express" themselves with and there's better coverage of what happens.

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I7Ue2wX6iQ

>google

http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/f/fd/Spy_yes02.wav

Byron Aery = Binary Max Michaelis = Magickus Rammite = Idiot Cube Octavius Cube = Rammite Jason Dual = DualJay Lenny Tooka = Lenny2k (not a SubSPUFer) Brendon Beckman = BrendanBeckman (not a SubSPUFer) Razach Putin = Razputin Sebastipole Lukos Sion = Splosion Buddy Ziller = Buddhazilla Christ Metler = Cretler

Book 1 Part 1 Chapter 5 [spoiler2]Chris Metler’s House Chris sifted through his mail, stopping when he spied a letter from SPUF City PD. “We have evidence to believe that you may be in danger of assault by the serial killer that has been plaguing SPUF city recently. This serial killer appears to be targeting people influenced by a force known as the ‘SPUFPower’. You are touched by this force, so the killer may-” He never got any farther. A dart sunk into his thigh, sending an anesthetic enhanced with infractium through his body. He was out in moments. The small man effortlessly lifted the larger SPUFer’s unconscious body. This one would be useful. The black-clad man grinned inside. ************************** Byron’s Office Octavius and Jay strode in. Jay was looking worn, and he was changed. His skin was dust-gray, like his clothes, but mottled with black. “Evening, gentlemen.” Octavius appeared much more focused. “We brought the books.” “Good, good.” Jay set the boxes down by the table and began pulling out a pamplet, two scrolls, and a notebook. The one thing they had in common was their topic: biosorcery. And being made of paper. “This is how I learned. From all of these.” “Bloody hell. Where do we start?” Wordlessly, Jay passed Rammite a notebook and Byron a pamphlet. Rammite read the title. Biosorcery Terminology. “Let’s see... Priming: preparation of a subject to allow more complex surgeries safely... Fester: a repurposed subject to produce materials...” “Repurposed? You can’t just ‘repurpose’ a person!” Byron yelled. “What kind of sick freaks wrote this?” “I know, right?” Octavius said. “People who go through life doing the impossible with a scalpel, that kind of sick freak.” Jay appeared mildly irritated. “It’s just terminology. Keep reading” With a grumble, Rammite continued. “Packing: using parts from multiple beings to create a single new being... Quick: life-force, can be extracted... Rushjob: a rapidly created creature... Muter: a chemical weapon created via biosor-” He was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Who is it?” “Ryan Jihn, sir.” “Come in.” The deputy opened the door and declined Octavius’s offer of a chair. “Sir, one of the SubSPUFers you had us warn disappeared. The letter was left open on his table, sir.” “Which one?” “Name of Chris Metler, sir.” “Damn! Any traces of the kidnapper?” “None found so far, sir.” Jay interjected: “You won’t find any. He’s too smart for that.” “No such thing as a smart criminal,” the deputy said, looking annoyed with the consultant. “Bull.” “Enough, enough. Ryan,” Rammite looked at him, “if that’s all, you are dismissed.” The deputy left the way he came. “Now that he’s gone,” Jay said, “we can continue. Now, all of the beings we’ve encountered so far have been rushjobs. I think. Which means, either he’s no good at priming or he’s just keeping us busy. I’m reasonably certain that it’s the latter.” “It would be, with our luck.” Everyone nodded sagely at these words of truth from Cube. “Then it would be Metler he’s using as his magnum opus, probably.” “Bingo.” ************************** Max Michaelis’s Apartment Fizzle. “DAMMIT!” yelled Magick Man Max Michaelis. “DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!” He’d been creating and honing that incantation for days, and it still hadn’t worked. When was the last time he gotten a spell to work? Oh yeah, three months ago. Ding-dong. “Coming!” And he went to the door. Put his hand on the handle. Turned, opened. “Where’s my money, Max?” A massive frame filled the doorway. It was a huge man, wearing a fedora and a pinstripe suit. In one hand, he held a shotgun. “Y-your money?” “You know what I’m talking about. I’ve been forced to collect early.” “B-but I can’t pay!” Max said, terrified. “Damn shame. You’ll just have to pay it off... in other ways. Follow me, we’re going for a ride.” Max swallowed.[/spoiler2]

New chapter tonight. Maybe.

"Ambiguous motives"?

In what chapter did I say that? I mean, it's pretty heavily implied, but still.

There can only be one.

Probably implies 70% < Chance < 90%

"Probably"?

lol ur rong brah

Book 1 Part 1 Chapter 4 [spoiler2]Byron’s House Ring. Ring. Byron picked up his phone. “Hello?” “Rammite here. Umm, I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a bit?” Byron mentally rattled through a list of possible reasons he could need a place to stay. Wife/Girlfriend? Nope. Flooding? Unlikely. Oh. “Did your house get destroyed again?” “Yes.” “Need a lift?” “Nope, my car and myself are fine. But the firemen have told me to GTFO for a while.” “Come on over, then. And pick up some Chinese takeout on the way.” ************************** Streets of SPUF Nici walked slowly along the sidewalk, hip-to-hip, hand-in-hand with Ben. It was the first snow of winter - the first of many, as SPUF City was high in the north of the Webworld. Ten meters behind them trailed a man of few words and many actions, the soundless shaker, the mouthless mover, the one and only Silent. The Huffs were dear friends of his - why, he and Benjamin had practically been brothers. A squad car drove by, slowly enough for him to catch a glimpse of Lady Violet Bernkastel being transported to quarters the government deemed safer. Nici needed no such protection. Not when he was around - he’d die for either of the Huffs. ************************** A Dojo SLAM! The massive, shirtless, rippling, sexy beast of man stomped into a deep stance and threw a devastating punch, one nearly cracking the concrete beneath his feet and the other shattering the air, making it explode. A burning shockwave ripped forth from his muscle-bound arm. The other man, who had to be a hobo, casually weaved to the side. He followed the motion with a backhanded slap to the bigger man’s face and a punch into his solar plexus, both delivered with devastating force that would have been sufficient to shatter a brick wall. The big man barely flinched. After nearly fifteen minutes of combat, they both stopped as if by some silent agreement. The hobo went to get a drink. “Good match, Sebastian. You’re speeding up,” he paused as he reached the water fountain, “but still have a ways to go. And remember, power isn’t everything - you are sacrificing technique for it. Which, in the end, will result in weakness” “Hmmph,” said Sebastipole Lukos Sion, heavyweight boxing champ. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired and could do with a wom-” “You will never know true strength unless you learn to go without, my apprentice.” Sebastipole grunted. ************************** Streets of SPUF The hobo, an amiable ex-gladiator by the name of Buddy Ziller, walked down the street to what he called “home”. He was whistling Carry On, My Wayward Son with a smile on his face. The black-clad man watched him from the top of a Motel 6, needing no ocular aids to see him clearly, despite the distance. Oh, if only he could take him! Just think, all the things he could with such a body! Countless ideas flitted through his mind, countless hopeless dreams. For the now-hobo was far too powerful for him to steal, mighty beyond his abilities. For now. The black-clad man grinned inside. ************************** Byron Aery’s Office “We’ve done some digging.” Byron was in another meeting with Rammite and the two consultants. “And we may have found another kidnapping by our surgeon friend.” There was a brief, awkward silence as Jay seemed to wait for Cube to say something. However, judging by the slightly-dreamy look on Octavius’s face, he was not going to speak any time soon. Finally, Jay spat out a word: “Talk.” “Umm,” Rammite said, giving Octavius a what’s up with him look. “Well, the timeline didn’t match up. The first murders came before the first known kidnapping. So, we did some research. We think the rape-monster may have been Gigolo, a prostitute in district 527, the first murderer may have been a Redditor who was passing through and vanished from a Quality Inn in - heh, Inn in - district 063.” “527 and 063?” They were both slums, just two of many in the 1043 districts of SPUF City. Jay continued, seeming uncomfortable, like he wished Octavius would interject. “Lemme guess, what was one more disappearance?” “Exactly. And there was one other. A SWAT trooper, name of Brendan Beckman. Assumed dead, vanished when clearing out a hospital in 401.” 401 was an abandoned district - one of just 17 - full of strip malls and high-rise office buildings. Jay glared at Octavius. “What’s your take on this?” No answer. “Cube!” “W-what?” “One minute, gents. Staff meeting.” Jay dragged Octavius out by the arm. ************************** Just Outside of Byron's Office “What the hell was that in there?” “I was listening!” “To what? ‘Cause it sure wasn’t us! Step it up or I’ll have to end this thing you’ve got going with Cavera.” “Why, exactly, is this job so important to you? It’s just another psycho with some weird talents!” “Cognitio est primus.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Knowledge is first. It's the most important thing to me. That’s what at stake. That’s why this is important. That’s why I took this dead-end job. Cognitio est primus is the reason I live, the reason I get up each morning. Why do you get up every morning, Cube?” “True love.” “To hell with true love, you know nothing. I know Cavera: she’s dependent. She switches men every five weeks, and she wouldn’t get through life without Pinkskaya and Dodge Opliss!” “You’re wrong.” “Prove it.” “I know her, you just think you do. She’s not weak!” “Fine, fine! Whatever. Come on, and pay attention!"[/spoiler2]

Now I have to remove you out of spite.