LordCOVID Monkey

Goodness me! My silly YouTube Recommendations keep sending me fake Smash Ultimate leaks. They just won't go away!! Well, now it's MY TURN to leak some fake bullshit for tomorrow's direct! My sources say that we will be receiving 6 new characters and 13 echos! (I know Sakurai said that we shouldn't expect too much, but he was trolling.) The details I have received are a bit hard to decipher, (I won't put the details here in order to avoid the Nintendo Ninjas from strangling me) but I have deduced that the direct will go as follows. The direct will open with the reveal Ashley from Wario Ware, who's totally playable, despite an assist trophy. (She hasn't appeared on the Smash website yet, so they're saving her for the fighters tab.) Then they will proceed to reveal the all new echos Pajama Sam, Spy Fox, and Putt-Putt! Then they'll take a break from all the characters and announce the return of Smash Tour!! Then, the screen will go black and a lone, blue eyeball will appear, announcing the new echo fighters... Sans Undertale! Then Sakurai will bless us with THREE ALL-NEW, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN: Banjo, Steve from Minecraft, and that guy from Halo as the Microsoft reps! Then there a brief interlude where the actual direct appears. It'll only last a minute or so, because we all know the bulk of it is going to Smash. The direct will return to a slew of all new Pokemon echos! Poliwrath, Gothitelle, Team Rocket, and Ultra Necrozma! Then Sakurai will show up and talk about Assist Trophies. I don't have a lot of info on this, but I do know that fan favorites Geno, Isaac, Phoenix Wright, and a Xenomorph will make appearances as Assists! Then another trailer begins with the reveal of new fighter, Captain N The Game Master! In his trailer he beats up a series a famous Nintendo villains Black Shadow, Medusa, Skull Kid, and Tom Nook! (All echos.) Then Sakurai will bid us goodbye and the direct will end. Or will it?!? No, like always he will have one more goodie in store for us... An all new trailer begins showing a happy world, seemingly made of yarn. The camera pans across the beautiful wonderland, and takes focus on a dinosaur creature and his dog. That's where our two NEW reps receive their splash art! Poochy: Ain't Stupid, and Yarn Yoshi: Is Stupid! (Poochy being a new character, and Yarn Yoshi being an echo of Cloud.) The two heroes go out to battle foes, and we are shown some hype gameplay. Then the trailer ends with a shot of AN EVEN BIGGER RIDLEY beginning to wreak havoc upon Yoshi's Woolly Town. (Bigger Ridley will serve as the final boss of the much anticipated Spirits Mode, a filler name for Ridley's Rampage.) Then the direct will really end. Also, I saw something about Goku, but I was too busy fangasming over Poochy and Ridley Mode to pay attention to it. So I'll just let you all speculate that one. In all, about 33 of the 35 minutes will be dedicated to Smash reveals. Anyway, that's all my sources were able to get ahold of. Tune in next time as I leak the reveal of Pepsi-Man! Until next time time, this is LeakerAIDS Monkey, signing out!

Upon rewatching the trailer for Simon, I took notice of a very peculiar figure. It seems that our buddy Luigi was attacked by none other than my waifu, Medusa! Though she ain't playable, this, in my humble opinion, has gotta be the best thing to come outta the direct! A surge of Medusa porn is on its way, guys. And I'm totally on board with it! Not to mention that, with the arrival of Castlevania's Medusa, we are one step closer to Kid Icarus's Medusa becoming playable! (Whom just happens to be my most wanted character, other than perhaps Poochy...) It's a bit of a stretch, but she's totally gonna get in as an echo of Palutena, utilizing all of Palutena's old custom moves from SSB4 that she's not allowed to use anymore. I can only dream!!!

What four goofballs would bet against K. Rool getting in? He was an obvious pick from the start, that was long overdue! That being said, he's by far the greatest character reveal this far.

Here I am reviving this dead thread o' mine! Daddy Sakurai has blessed us with five beautiful children! None of them were on my list, (but I totally knew they were getting in anyways...) Simon seems like a pretty cool dude. I've never played Castlevania, but I know enough to know it's got some sweet tunes, and he's also brought along his DRACULA STAGE BOSS FRIEND! He also brought along some other loser friend of his who isn't hype in the slightest, to me anyways. Chrom and Dark Samus were pretty obvious echo fighters. But they're pretty cool I guess. But none can compare to the FINAL, ULTIMATE REVEAL of our very own, King K. Rool! Do you know what this means?! Finally I can play as a big fat croco-man! By far the best thing to come outta this direct. Except for maaaybe the return of Fountain of Dreams. Anywho, I'm still waiting with fingers crossed for my Poochy reveal.

But would there be aliens?

No.

Because Valve doesn't want to make updates. They want to make money.

What's this? It seems that the final boss of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been leaked! (No way!) Step aside Master Hand, there's a new most powerful dude in town!

Never heard of it. But anything's possible because EVERYONE IS HERE!

I can only forgive you for all those neat-o colors if you can forgive me for this:

Check out this exclusive leak. Oh snap! Could it be the Mad Titan himself? Or is it just another big phony like all those Waluigi reveals?

Only time will tell... But judging from the totally legit image, we can see that she can utilize amplifiers to create soundwaves that'll rock her opponents! One can only imagine what other wacky stunts she could pull.

Wow! Look at this 100% not fake Smash Bros. Reveal! I can't wait to play on this exciting new stage!

She's the first and only of the long-awaited anime representatives we're getting. Sorry Goku fans. Of course, this is all just speculation! (But it's totally gonna happen.)

Behold! Smash Bros. reveal art for some of the new and upcoming combatants! Poochy! Gru! Medusa! Professor WIllow! Godzilla! Putt-Putt! Kogasa! And some love for the anime rep we deserve, let's hear it for Yui!

I know, right?! Just like all the top engineers, I draft all my designs to be of the highest quality! But what if I told you... it gets even more professional?

It's okay. You can finally get your long awaited revenge on Poochy as soon December 7, 2018 rolls around.

Dr. Dolittle seems like he'd be a balancing nightmare, so I don't think he'll make it in. The rest do seem pretty plausible! I'm all for Spring Man getting in, but he's basically de-confirmed as I've heard word that the game's decision making was finalized in 2015, long before Arms's release date in 2017. But he (or some other Arms character) is a shoe-in for DLC! But until then, Medusa and Wreck-it-Ralph will have to do!

Goku won't be playable this time around, but he will make an appearance as an assist trophy (just like Waluigi)! Our anime rep is most likely going to be Cory Baxter Yui from K-On who utilizes all sorts of dangerous guitar beams and her squeaky voice to rock the competition! I'll buy two Switches if Poochy gets added.

But my BUP Boy never got the assist trophy treatment. Clearly, that means he'll be playable in this one. I'm still holding out for him. We all should, because he's the best.

No hype from me until Captain Toad's reveal.

If by "good", you mean that I'm good at going so far off topic that the essay becomes completely unrecognizable, then yes! I am good at timed essays!

Howdy SPUFFriends! Very soon we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of SPUF's sad end. And that got me thinking on how I can join in on the wacky festivities! After doing a whole lot of nothing in preparation for the big day, I did stumble across something very peculiar in my secret archives! (Right between the folder for my grandma's cookie recipe and my Little Mermaid hentai.) Yes, you see friends, I stumbled upon something that I thought went down with SPUF, something that probably shouldn't have seen the light of day again. But today I bring semi-great news, as I have found a LordAIDS Monkey Original Update retrieved directly from SPUF itself! So get cozy in your little chair as I present to you the (mostly) un-edited TF2 Update pulled straight from SPUF's end-times! (You need to keep in mind the context of the time as you read!) And there you have it! An ancient piece of SPUF history completely restored by yours truly! Obviously, I lied at the end there about not coming back. It was just my way of attention whoring or something. But until next time, this is LordAIDS Monkey signing out! Happy SPUFFiversary, y'all!

It's a shame that 3DS flipnote never came to be.

You see, I would, but now you've incurred my wrath. So instead I'm gonna like your post and pretend that I'm better than you!