Raison d'être

We've had sporadic fireworks the past couple weeks. Either that or gunshots, I can't tell which.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/family-plans-destroy-million-worth-inherited-guns/story?id=40042251

You'll be fine, you got along well enough for 2000 years without the EU. If your country collapses over no longer being a part of an international organization - let's be honest, the core was rotten and you'd collapse either way, with or without your continental friends. So cheer up, mate, I'll throw an extra dog on the grill for ya on the 4th. To freedom!

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-06-21/loretta-lynch-admits-federal-authorities-have-lost-orlando-shooters-wife Great. This is the same administration screening refugees? God help us all.

Biggest mass shooting in the US, and 3rd biggest terror attack in the US (behind 9/11 and Oklahoma City). http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/12/us/orlando-nightclub-shooting/ Reports are still coming in and details are sketchy so while waiting for them I'll ask the important question: will our European friends drape their Facebook avatars in Ol' Glory à la the Paris attacks? Thinking about it though, they'll probably use the pride flag.

To be fair that's Greece. You could hand those fuckers El Dorado and the goddamned thing would become a slum needing a bailout.

It's a Daisy Powerline 717. I don't think I'll be shooting any pigeons though, Jerry Brown would have my head.

I do assume it's loaded but I can't clear it without shooting it, that's literally what the instructions say.

Grandpa had a .177 air pistol, passed to grandma when he died, she passed it to my dad and dad gave it to me. It's neat, but grandpa was a fucking madman since when I looked at it the safety was off, the bolt closed and ready to fire, and I'm pretty sure it's loaded.

Blocks of ramen are pretty tasty raw but the cup o noodles shit ain't, let me tell ya.

Well I mean I added water of course, fuck man I even boiled it on the stovetop, I didn't microwave it. If that's not civilization then I don't know what is.

Apparently he also had a bomb with him, but yeah, they waited several hours before storming the place.

I had a cup of noodles that advertised itself as being "customizable", i.e. you add your own vegetables. It was the cheapest shit I'd ever seen, just a bunch of noodles and salt. I ate it raw anyway.

Man, I wonder what caused this. Probably the NRA. Oh, and it was the pride flag. Apparently it was decided they were more gay than Americans. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2016/06/13/orlando-shooting-how-to-change-your-facebook-profile-picture-and/

Rightfully so, a white Christian calling 911 and pledging allegiance to the Islamic State would seem to me to be playing with a few cards short of a deck. What the fuck, I did nothing to you and here you are saying I'm shitposting. Pretty sure it was an actual assault rifle.

Traditional Australian music:

Nah, I already have enough shit for the NSA to pool over. Hell, a friend typed in "how to make homemade bomb MUST KILL 15+" and if that doesn't get us in a watchlist I don't know what will.

Yeah wikihow has some great articles, unfortunately they don't have a "How to commit murder" (I checked a while ago).

What's the problem? Use a different towel to soak up the shit or if you're really desperate just use toilet paper.

I dreamt that while it was raining some guys and I went down the street to the T-intersection a block away from my house (in the middle of town mind you) and started shooting our MG42s into the puddles of water. I thought I had loaded tracers and, well, I kinda did, the gun shot out flashlights that went crazy with lightning when they hit the puddles. After a while I headed home alone where I was about to put the MG42 away in the garage before realizing it still had a bullet (that wasn't a flashlight) in the chamber. I thought about just shooting it out but didn't want to risk penetrating the walls or a ricochet. Eventually I decided to open the gun up by pushing down(!) the charging handle, and the bottom swung open revealing a bunch of gears and random gizmos that I really don't think belong in an MG42. Then I noticed at the bottom was a shitty little PCB lazily attached and I instinctively realized this, of course, was an RFID chip planted there by the ATF, since they didn't have shit like that in the 40s. Then I woke up.

Thanks, I didn't know her very well though, so I don't really feel that bad. My family is the only branch west of the Mississippi (on both sides of the tree) so I've never had much contact with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Honestly, and it makes me feel like a scummy bastard for saying this, I was more distraught with my dog being very sick and needing to go to the vet yesterday - turns out he was just constipated. I only wish I wrote her more, although I hope to at least get one last letter to her. Literally the least I could do.

Grandma's dying and she's leaving me about $13,000. I'm thinking about riding out the impending wave of doom and buying when everything's dirt cheap. Of course, depending on how bad this one gets, maybe I'd be better off buying $13,000 worth of canned food and ammo.

Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? None of your fucking business.