Idiot Cube

So now I'm in Black Gulch. The poison-spitting statues are annoying, and so are the weird eldritch claw-thingies. But they're the least of my problems right now. I get invaded by some dark spirit called Woodland Child Gully. He kicks my ass a few times, but I eventually get the upper hand. And just when I think I'm safe to explore for a while... INVADED BY DARK SPIRIT WOODLAND CHILD VICTOR I honestly thought it was the same guy at first, and nearly threw my monitor out the window. I hate this game. Please make me stop playing.

More like Loser Bastille. It has come to my attention that the loser I fought was not the Lost Bastille boss, but in fact the Sinner's Rise boss. Will report back when I have found the real boss and ascertained its loser-ness. Anyway here's my build in case you were wondering: Equipment:

Did you do it solo? He seems to be easier to dodge when there's more than one person for him to aim at.

I did it a less cheesy way. If you sprint all the way to him from the stairs, you can reach him before he starts breathing fire. Gods help you If you're in co-op and fail to stay right on the other person's tail when they start running. Oh, and there was a real boss right after him, but he wasn't all that tough.

I AM UNKILLABLE I AM IMPENETRABLE I AM UNMOVABLE I AM THE WALL!!!!!!

So apparently they added a bunch of BULLSHIT to Heide's Tower in SotFS. Which is doubly fun for someone who hasn't played Souls in any form. There's a bunch of Heide Knights just chilling all over the place, most of which don't aggro unless you attack them...until you kill Dragonrider, at which point they start wandering around and chase you down from like a mile away. I'm just fucking ELATED that I had no way of knowing that without looking at a walkthrough. That REALLY encourages me to discover things on my own rather than spoiling the whole game for myself. They're not so tough when I can engage them one by one and parry them into submission, but there's a few areas where that's not possible. On my own, I have yet to get past the area to the left of the room with the three big guys, because there's a biggie and a Heide there who team up to stunlock me and turn me into mush. It seems like the only way to progress is to summon a bunch of co-op phantoms, but even if I manage to do that and get up the stairs, there's a FUCKING DRAGON who breathes UNDODGEABLE FIRE at you before you can even reach him. In desperation, I finally resorted to asking the internet for help. Several sources have suggested just shooting arrows at the dragon from the platform below, and I'll probably try that when I get home, but I refuse to believe that's the only solution. I'm just glad you can slowly drive the enemies to extinction through pure repeated determination, because otherwise I doubt I'd make any progress in this area.

Please tell me you'll be able to clone my sunglasses...

I'm in. Clearly you need a Guile-haired bullet sponge so that this doesn't happen again.

*necromancy sounds* Off to a good start.

I accept my fate as the squad's bullet sponge.

Saints Row: Gat out of Hell Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin I've failed you Gaben.

I didn't know IBM was serving Chinese food now.

HANDS OOP YA SONUVABITCH

​No, Rynjin! You must not meddle in other worlds! All you may do is talk to everyone you meet, kill the monsters-du-jour, loot any chests you find, and help the protagonist do whatever he/she was doing in the original plot of their movie!

Now it's easier than ever to do Valve's job for them! jk it does look p cool

I tried to stop him. Ok I didn't really try that hard.

I can't help but worry. I didn't see a single new character or enemy, which is exactly what was wrong with That Paper Mario Game Which Shall Not Be Named. Also, Mario characters meeting themselves was already done in Partners in Time. Just sayin'. Two Bowsers arguing about who's the Bowseriest never gets old, though.

I had two of mine out. It was great! I was couchridden for two days, paralyzed by pain and a mouthful of gauze!

​"Now relax, slowly stretch your legs, and crush your opponent's head between your thighs, like a sparrow egg."

It's actually none. Because they are all animated sprites on your computer screen. Also, Santa Claus is your parents.

No more fire emblem characters...please...I promise I'll be good...

For those of us who wanted to be like the Lakitu cameraman in Super Mario 64.