Jordax

At least it isn't Stillborn, like Gearbox's latest utter turd. Gearbox fucking deserves to crater this badly after the shit they pulled in the last few years, and especially for pissing over Duke Nukem 3D at the moment.

I've had some really weird dreams lately. Decided to write some of them down which made some sort of sense at least, there were enough which frankly didn't make any sort of sense at all. Most of these don't either, at least they got some coherent parts in them. Dream 1: This one started off at some farms, in what I presumed to be Eastern Europe by the looks of the place and the machinery in and near the farms. It's rainy, and apparently, I am with some militia/army-like group, who seem to pass by the farmstead. Everyone of the group is armed with rifles and the like, and body armor as well. Seems like we were marching to another location. It's raining lightly, and as such, the place is quite muddy. While walking, the squad is talking in a few different languages, mostly English, but also German, French and Dutch. In fact, the Dutch guys I was talking with did really sound like my friends from high school and university. Loads of complaining about the rain, but also about how the guys up front aren't really paying attention to their surroundings. I'm walking in front too, and from what I presume to be a pretty steep hill around 500 meters away, I spot some weird sort of light. Before I realize what it is, a machine gun opened fire on the squad from the same direction as the hill, I hear the sound of them unleashing lead at blistering rates, and I see the bullets impact the ground right in front of me, and coming nearer really quickly. I flinched for a moment, while the others are already shouting to find cover while diving into cover, with some guys shouting in English and Dutch '[Jordax] (the guys used my forename), what the hell are you doing, seek cover!' So I seemed to dive into safety at the last moment, into what was basically an alcove in the side of one of the farmhouses, leading to some sort of alley as well. Just as I shout 'Bloody hell, that was close!' after getting up into cover, and want to shout something else about the situation, before suddenly flinching, and noticing that I have been actually hit, near the lower right side of my ribcage, where a visible blood spatter is forming through the clothing and body armor. I mumbled out a faint 'I-I c-can walk this one off...' before slumping over against a wall, while trying to stop the bleeding at my right lower ribcage by clutching it. A few other people of the squad saw that, and they sounded hysteric, and shout things like '[Jordax]'s been hit!' 'Get a fucking medic to him now!'. To be honest, I might have been hit really badly, I couldn't exactly see how big the wound was. Anyway, that wound really hurt, and I am just trying my best to stay concious. I take a look around the alcove, and see that one of the corners is about the single most dirty corner you could think of. It looked like an open toilet, that was how dirty it was. While seeing that, my thoughts are 'Fuck it, I am not dying in this filthy corner here', before waking up out of the dream. Dream 2: Alright, this one got really, really weird eventually. It also got what seemed to be time skips. It started off in a old medieval-like castle, in a dungeon/prison tower section of the castle to be exact. I woke up there in a cell, and shortly after, I got let out of the cell by a guard. The guy was heavily decked out in armor and was also armed pretty well, so no point risking an escape when he was that nearby. I was led by him to another part of the castle, but I didn't know what exactly at that point. While getting led throughout some of the more barren stone castle halls, which were getting illuminated brightly by the late afternoon twilight happening outside, I notice that the few guards we are passing are looking at me really strangely. Eventually, I got led down into some sort of courtroom. Some lord/judge guy, whoever he was, did read out a huge list of stuff and more stuff I presume to be not good news at all. The thing is, I seemed to be in a complete daze for most of it. All I knew was, that it wasn't much good, and that I might have done something really horrible beforehand. To sum it up, I got sentenced to death for whatever I did. The lord/judge did however, grant me a last request/wish, by saying 'Any last wish, monster?'. I answered by saying 'One last walk outside...', yet when I tried to say that, what came out wasn't my usual voice. It wasn't human either, which really freaked me out the most about it. It sounded a bit like it, but it sounded more like a growl than being anything closely resembling a human voice. So yeah, that was the point in the dream I realized I wasn't human. When looking around, I noticed in a far-off mirror I didn't notice earlier, that whatever I was, it oddly enough did resemble a Lucario a bit. (All of my fucking what?) But anyway, I got that last wish granted, and I was led out by a group of guards for one last walk over the castle walls. It was about to become night-time, the sun was about to go down slowly. Just as I am thinking how this seems rather fitting, I get shoved hard from behind. Before I know what is happening, I get sent falling down the castle walls on the outside. It was at least 20 meters up. Somehow, I landed pretty normally despite the height. Sure, my legs and arms were hurting quite a bit, I felt dazed for a little bit, but it didn't feel like I was seriously injured. The first thing that came up in my mind, was to just run like hell, get the hell away from said castle. So I ran away from the place as quickly as I could, into a pretty open field. I didn't care what direction it was, along it was away from that castle. Cut to a good while later, it's deep into the night now, and I'm wading through a creek in some sort of valley-like area ,still not feeling tired at all despite noticing that I am actually pretty hurt. It's at that moment that I finally realize that nobody did actually chase me down, or at least, as far it looked like. At that point, it felt like I had ran for a couple of hours. So, I let out a sigh of relief, and just looked back after wading through said creek. I decided to sit down for a bit, and wondered about why nobody or nothing was actually chasing me in my escape. Or who the hell pushed me off in the first place. Or what the hell happened in general. That is pretty much where that dream ended. Dream 3: The dream started off with a huge family meeting/party at my uncle's home. Everyone was there, and like in real-life, my 9-year old cousin managed to annoy absolutely everyone within record time. Still, a good time was had by everyone. Suddenly, a perspective shift took place. It was of some men outside a shack in the desert. Probably in America. The shack was two floors, was from wood, and had a staircase outside leading to the second floor balcony-like entrance. It seemed that it was after an apocalyptic event of some sorts, since there were oblivious signs of decay around in the area. Some guy who suspiciously looked like Walter JR from Breaking Bad comes back from a walk with his dog (I barely watched that series, so that was weird.), and says that there seems something off about the desert at that moment. The radio talks at that moment about a refugee tribe refusing to be settled anywhere near the desert after some unexplainable and scaring paranormal stuff happened in the camps situated near the desert. Just then, Walt's dog starts freaking out like crazy, and barks non-stop towards the desert, where a seriously stormy sky is coming from. It's a really weird sky as well. It could be happening in real-life, but it looked almost otherworldly. Some other fellow starts uttering about the things in the desert coming near. The man of whom I was seeing this from, was getting antsy as well, and suggests Walt and the dog should get back into the two-floor shack NOW. The man, however, has terrible walking problems, and thus made his way towards the shack, which had a stair outside to the second floor, very, very slowly. Almost at a crawling pace somehow. Just as he is about to walk under that stair towards the door, he notices sand falling from it. While there isn't any wind in the area at all yet. Indicating that SOMETHING is walking on it. He sets a step back. Nothing but a huge moving shadow is on the stairs. He screams. The dream ends here. Dream 4:Family trip to some American city with my family. Drove around a city before driving into it with a classical Chevrolet muscle car. We made our way to a historic hotel downtown, where I somehow get a very strange flashback. It's the same hotel in the 50s, and the Nazis somehow made their way across the Atlantic. (Wolfenstein: The New Order much?) They are in the hotel making a deal with people who did look like typical 30s-40s mafia types. Before I know it, someone in the hotel cafe blows his cover, and all hell breaks loose. The guy where I am seeing this flashback through, manages to survive the massive brawl, and ends up assassinating the Nazi commander with his own pistol. He goes back to his room with his compatriots for a bit, before returning to the dining room. To his surprise, he sees the majority of the people who were shot in the brawl getting back up on their feet. They claim to be part of multiple Allied spying agencies and resistance groups who were also out to assassinate the Nazis who had gathered in the hotel. But somehow, most of their pistols were filled with blanks. There are a few people staying dead though. The person I am seeing this through, notices that some of the presumed dead Nazis have disappeared, and thus concludes that they have fled the building after faking their deaths. He walks towards the main entrance hallway where he shot the Nazi commander, only to find out in horror that his own pistol was filled with blanks as well, and that the commander escaped as well, seeing that the body has disappeared. As such, the spy agencies and the resistance fighters hurry back to their rooms to start evacuating from the hotel. The dream ended shortly after that. Also, damn this post got way longer than I first expected when I started typing it out. My dreaming subconscious is just really damn weird. I've still got some smaller ones too, although I will probably talk about some of them another time.

The Order was also a 60 dollar game with about two hours of thirteen-a-dozen third-person shooter gameplay and three hours of cutscenes or walking down empty corridors. How anyone thought that was anything near a good idea is staggering. It is literal budget box fodder. Actually no, it is even worse than that, since there are older, actually good games in budget boxes these days.

I am surprised that I didn't die the most, given how I seemed to have the bright idea of fighting aliens while only wearing a t-shirt. Krazu seemed clutch as fuck the entire run though. Also, we've MADE EARTH GREAT AGAIN!

I bet they were from the shariah shithole that is Molenbeek. Where else would people start assaulting the polic because one of Europe's most wanted terrorists gets arrested by the police there? Those fuckers probably knew that he was hiding there for the entire four months. Quite ironical that the capital of the EU is also the biggest terrorist breeding ground of Europe.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35849140 A Florida jury has awarded Hulk Hogan $115m (£79m) after the gossip news website Gawker published a sex tape of the retired professional wrestler. Mr Hogan's legal team argued the New York-based website violated his privacy and the video was not newsworthy. The case, which pitted freedom of the press against a celebrity's right to privacy, has been closely watched. The video was posted in 2012 after Mr Hogan was secretly recorded having sex with his friend's wife. Lawyers for Gawker argued that although jurors might find the website's action distasteful, the concept of freedom of the press was more important to uphold. Mr Hogan's lawyers said Gawker did not contact him or the woman in the video before the video was published. Rest in piss, Gawker. You won't be missed by anyone at all.

Gawker still has to pay punitive damages ON TOP of the 115 Million. Even Jim Ross can't narrate such a massacre at this point.

I almost wanted to ask if Nitzan somehow went on your account.

I still have to see that movie one of these days. I did really enjoy Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, which is one of my alltime favorite movies. On another topic, it started snowing here for the first time in more than a year. Time to get comfy.

And four full years of absolute anal Armageddon for the leftist media. I mean, when they go full triggered tumblrina mode over Trump winning one primary, imagine if Trump actually clinches the presidency. Those people will probably end themselves on the spot if that happens.

Sounds better than the UN trying to ban them. Dunno why this should be an issue for the UN in the first place, but apparently, their priorities are a bit screwed up. Then again, we are talking about the same UN which unironically appointed Saudi Arabia as head of their human rights council.

So everyone who signed up died at least once now? Christ, I knew we should have asked about the life insurance policies of XCOM before this.

Well, that's going to be a bit hard to prove with our looks. Good thing we don't have to care about our PR, I'd guess. Also, I find it kinda comical that my character is the only one without some sort of armor on. It probably went like ''Hey, welcome to XCOM, here is your fucking huge assault rifle. Unfortunately, we had budget cuts in the armor department, thus we only have this neat XCOM t-shirt and two shin-guards left. Also, put on this ski mask to know that you are on our side. What, we're totally an organisation of peace.'' So far, so good. Although that wouldn't be the first time that I would miss a bus.

Sign me up to remove ayy lmaos from the premises.

A vote for Jeb apparently comes with a free hug from the man himself. No, really. It's hard to not feel at least a bit bad for the man at this point.

I did it in two tries, same with the theoretical test here. Although apparently, most people fail for their first attempt at the practical here, since they have to make a profit, thus they will judge insanely strictly on everyone's first attempt, which means that they will try to net you a failure for the smallest things. And yes, unless it is a vacation week, you have to wait for a month if you fail a practical test Although my cock-up in my first attempt at the practical wasn't a small one, as I totally cocked up a reserve U-Turn, which lead to a seriously embarrassing stall twice. You could practically feel the disdain of the examinator as I managed to stall the car while in reserve in the middle of a street. Although it could be worse, like Ricardo Rosset's completely rubbish J-turn ending in what is probably one of the most awkward stalls in F1 history. The theoretical test is also known for being a bit too strict here, as it has two parts, which differ widely in difficulty. One is judging road situations. Which is around 30 situations, where you are allowed to make 12 mistakes. The second part is the hard part, where you get 50 questions about all the theory you've learned. You are only allowed 5 mistakes in this one. Which means that it is possible to fail the theoretical while having made less mistakes than someone who passed the test. Which happened to me the first time around. Also, with the way the theoretical tests used to work, you are placed in a room with 63 other applicants, and the results get announced per seat number. For the second attempt, which I passed, I happened to have chair 64 out of 64, and as such, I got to wait anxiously while about 90% of the room did get to hear that they failed the test before I got to hear that I was one of the few in the room passed the test, while I was by far the youngest person in the room. Expanding on that, there are enough people here who fail their theoretical more than six times. It has gotten to the point that there are driving schools in the Netherlands now who teach you on how to practically cheat on the theoretical test. Which would explain why there are enough people on the Dutch roads who still drive absolutely horridly. I have my drivers licence for a few year now, but I still haven't got a car of my own. So when I drive, I drive in the family car, a 2007 Peugeot 308 T7 hatchback.

I usually go to bed at 2am, even on normal schooldays now. Weekends and Fridays are heading to 4am now. On days where I don't have to get up early, I easily sleep until 2pm if nobody decides to wake my lazy ass up. On days where I have to get up early, like at 7am, this tends to screw me up rather badly for the rest of the day. I really do not handle a lack of sleep well anymore, I really need at least those 8 to 9 hours at least. Which is funny considering I only slept for only 6 hours a night when I was younger.

That does remind me that since I utterly fucked my sleeping schedule, that I don't have that much dreams or nightmares anymore. Although when they happen, they tend to be really, really weird. Which means that after a nightmare, I am pretty dazed for a good minute wondering what the fuck just happened.

He's probably up in Heaven singing some really good duets with Freddie Mercury now. Bowie pretty much went out the same way as Freddie: Making some damn good music until the very end, despite being terminally ill, whereas Bowie managed to keep it hidden until his death, whereas Freddie announced it the day before he would die. It's also that the last clips they would appear in was intended as their farewell to the world. (These Are The Days Of Our Lives (Mercury) and Lazarus (Bowie)). Although they did hint towards their impeding deaths in their last albums as well.

They were probably seeing red by the end of that game.

Probably, although I haven't played it in a quite long while. Mostly due to the reasons you mentioned. The quality of the playerbase went totally to the shitter when it was on the Humble Bundle for one Euro for a full month last year, which meant that pretty much every mouthbreather on /v/ got their grubby hands on the game, which meant that there was that sudden influx of earlier mentioned wannabe hajis who just wouldn't shut their fucking meme-sprouting gobs for a second while being all-around rubbish at the game.

Good thing that I was out visiting family while this whole shitstorm went down. I guess that everyone who wasn't online is still safe, or are we all equally fucked? And in case if it isn't, I only pay with prepaid cards on my account anyway, and I never filled any other billing info in.

Merry Christmas too, lads.