TheOnlyGuyEver

Last night I dreamt I fought a gorilla. My dream of being King K. Rool is reaching fruition. In the dream I was walking home (the area was completely different but I knew I was watching home), and there were a shit ton of monkeys behind this construction site fence, and I pointed them out, and everyone started throwing them food. I continue, minding my own business, and see this solitary gorilla. He must've been angry that everyone was feeding the monkeys and not him, because he fucking jumped the fence and charged me. I sidestepped to avoid it, but he still caught me in his grasp. So now the gorilla and I was in a mortally embracing struggle for survival, I'm trying to break out, he's biting me on the shoulder but it doesn't really hurt, eventually I bust out after a good punch to the jaw. He runs at me again but I miraculously jump over him Halo style. I don't try to fight him head on cause he's a goddamn gorilla, I'm pretty much dancing around him; everyone else is sitting outside a minivan looking at their phones not even bothering to see this shit (some metaphor for our consumerist high-tech society cause I'm an intellectual). This dance of man and ape continues for like 6 minutes until he slips on something and loses sight of me. I take this chance to jump up onto a high sign to avoid his view. It works! He doesn't see me and fucks off. What a dream.

Incelephant

2:54 had me fucking rapt. Awesome editing as always; ironically never lazy.

Went to Volcano Bay with my brother today for the first time. Pretty great, would recommend. I was extremely surprised by how well the TapuTapu and the "digital line" system worked; you tap your wristwatch on the pillar outside a ride, and it gives you a wait time. You can only be queued for one wait at a time, but however, during that time you're free to go do whatever the fuck you want, including going on any and all rides which are designated as "ride now" without having to lose your spot in the digital line. You can also go on "enjoy anytime" things, such as the various rivers and pools, which you can enter and exit at your own leisure. The digital line wait times were pretty brief, only being about 20-30 minutes on average, after which you go on ahead to the ride, wait in an actual like for 5-10 minutes, and go. In all, the complete wait time usually ends up being the typical 30, 40, maybe 50 or so minutes that's expected of a park, but the big difference is that for the majority of the wait, you're not actually stuck standing in a line. Even during my longest wait time, which was 80 minutes during the end of the day when we queued for the red tube on the volcano again (the one that sends you down its entirety on a straight drop after dropping the floor out from under you), "ride now" rides were very plentiful and fun, and I was able to ride about 3 of them in the span of my 80 minute wait before going to the volcano. There were also a buncha loquat trees behind some tall concealing bushes on a slope in this one secluded area so I snuck up there and got a lot. Haven't had loquats in years ever since our neighbor's big stupid oak tree starting encroaching on our loquat tree and we had to cut it down even though their tree was the problem.

Did you assume something else was happening?

I can't see Google Stadia ending up any more successful than Google Glass.

Why is Sonic Team good at making good everything except good games

I just realized- is "bruv" a combination of "bro" and "love?" Like was bro too American for the Brits so they merged one of their own words in there?

Speaking from my experience with Eldewrito's Halo Online, fast twitchy mouse aim is definitely not favorable in Halo. It's built for the slow and steady aim of controllers; movement is predictable and slow, and tracking your enemies is key. Definitely play with low mouse sens. Also, implying that 99% of kills aren't BR already?

HALO on PC motherFUCKER! YES! FINALLY! Never thought I'd see the day that any Halo beyond 2 got on PC, but nope, we're just gonna get ALL of them. INCLUDING REACH! Baby, I'm going back to the good ol' days, Trash Compactor and Speed Halo here I come. My dick is hard for the Chief right now and I love it. Glad to see Microsoft finally capitalize on their PC market the right way also, with Steam, and not their shitty store.

This man asks you why you rubbed your nose the way that you did. What do you tell him?

That future news one is just a ripoff of Idiocracy.

Sakurai just said in an interview that he uses an IV to keep working while he's sick. Like holy shit man, it's alright to take a sick day.

Similarly, the actor for Cranky Kong on the DKC cartoon died like yesterday. Rest that legend.

I've fucking had it with tacos. Fucking shitty ass inefficient food. Can't even eat the damn things without half it falling out the back and you gotta turn your head and fuck up your neck just to eat them anyhow. Eat a burrito instead.

Just a heads up, today I ported all my art to my Newgrounds. If you've ever wanted to see my pre-drawing-tablet art, it's there: https://kincaid1.newgrounds.com/art I figured I oughta put it there, since until today this was literally the only place I was sharing my art.

An old acquaintance of mine recently put out a demo of a game that him and his buddies have been working on, Vibrant Venture. I decided to speedrun the demo: Maybe would've been 41 if I didn't stub my toe at the end and cut one of the high jumps in the cave a bit closer. Overall, the movement is very fun and fluid (though I did have some suggestions for him), and all the speed tricks (mostly bouncing off of things during a longjump) feel and look really cool. The game seems like it'll be really fun to run. The demo's on Gamejolt if you wanna check it out for yourself; it's a pay-what-you-want, but you can get it for no price at all by hitting the "no thanks, take me to the download": https://gamejolt.com/games/vibrantventure/397907

the Jungle, George of

Close, but not quite

Dude Reggie

Can't wait for Samsung to scam people out of 2000 dollars with their foldable phone when you could just get one of these for like 60 bucks: On a serious note though I've been preaching the slide phone for fucking years and I'm pissed that their gonna make insane money off of what is basically an evolution of it.

And so it begins.

I made these on a whim and I'm glad for it.

I never understood the cyperpunk computer thing. People using old ass floppy disks and beige CRT computer monitors would be like someone today using a fucking IBM 700.