TheOnlyGuyEver

I can snap with BOTH hands. Now that I can whistle too, I only need to learn how to tapdance before I ascend to godhood.

I can snap with BOTH hands.

That's called "clapping."

If we are talking about near useless skills, I can twist my tongue in all directions an fold it in half both horizontally and vertically.

Snapping with both hands is easy, I learned how to snap with basically every finger. Also can whistle, but cant do it using my fingers.

It'll probably decide to get really cold for a weekend just to prove you wrong before going back to warm, if it's anything like out here

the best game ever planetside 2 came out in 2012 so why even bother continuing?

You will burn for your sins TOGE.

This feels like the beginning of a sci-fi story.  This event begins a long feud between you and California, ultimately culminating with you building a time machine and starting this very fire.

Or for the "Twilight Zone" version of the story, you become a villain in California since everyone in the state thinks that you started the fire.  You spend decades trying to clear your name, to no avail.  Finally you build a time machine to stop the fateful fire, but your time machine catches fire on arrival.

Cause they're already filled with AIDS blood.

Not enough obviously.

If I had the bubonic plague and I knew that a nearby mosquito had the cure, I would still swat it.

You can't spell "team" without "meat."

I just had a calzone for the first time, but it has done nothing to ease the intense pain in the upper-right portion of my body. That calzone was so good though.

If it's on the upper right portion of your body there's a good chance that you messed up your shoulder at that the pain is radiating to your neck, especially if you can turn left but not right.

If you did mess up your shoulder that sucks because it seems like it usually takes about two weeks for it to get better.  Stretching and alternating cold/hot therapy helps.

Ooh, do pluots! (But save at least one to eat normally, they're the best)

I just looked up what those are, and I don't think I've ever seen one. I've had an apricot and a plum, but not both in one.

Grilled/Roasted bananas with sugar/cinnamon are pretty good indeed.

Apples are also good, but as you said depends of the apple.

Wrapping them in tinfoil usually makes it taste better.

Sounds like someone needs to eat a Milky Way.

TOGE, have a Snickers. You're not you when you're hungry.

It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of life.