LadyBernkastel

There are many more chapters. Don't worry, you'll get your time in the spotlight.

I apologize for that unrelated outburst. Your story reminded me of the video games episode of Bullshit.

Dr. Evil Brain, unintentionally making a case against video games as murder simulators. Back on topic, I've surprisingly never used a gun. I've lived in the deep South all my life and never once have I had the chance to go hunting.

And Corv didn't say it? Damn, how much better is Baccano?

I was going to post a pic of Bernkastel with cat ears and declare it canon, but for a character so associated with cats, you'd be amazed at how hard that is to find.

Your room is on the top level. No one else is there.

Another one of those I need to finish watching . . . except I only have one episode left, so I don't know what's taking me so long.

I wasn't even thinking of that Doop, but now that you mention it . . .

What about the off-handed Fallout comment in SPUF City? Does that count?

1) The ending to SPUF City was perfect. 2) Thank ya. 3) Spoilers, man.

I appear to be in the same place as Corv. I have all these anime I want to watch but I never get around to it. Mostly the rather famous ones.

As with SPUF City, I do not actually base the characters on the people they represent. I write them based on what I think would help the story or would be funny. Examples, I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life, Dr. Evil Brain isn't a psychopath, and Huff may or may not think gentlemannely girls are hot. I may make various injokes or references to things we're known for: Bern's unknown gender, Grobag's sloths, Dr. Evil Brain's dongers, but I intentionally avoid writing the characters based on what little I know of you all. It might not be obvious, but whether or not the stupid jokes I make offends someone does matter to me. In other words, nothing in this story should be read as a critique on any of you. exceptladybernkastel ladybernkastelsucks

That's what you think

Yes, I'm writing a SPUF fanfiction. Very original idea. I had some ideas pop in my head the last few days, so I went ahead and wrote down an intro chapter. I’m still working on the plot, but I plan to keep this story updated regularly. Also, don't expect accurate portrayals of yourself. Crappy story comes first. [spoiler2]Chapter 1 “Doopliss . . . Doopliss . . . Doopliss . . .” Doopliss slowly shifted until he was facing Bernkastel, refusing to get up from the couch he was laying on. Bernkastel’s head was laying face down on a small table. “What do you want now, Bern?” “Can you go get me a beer?” Bernkastel’s head turned slightly to face Doopliss. Doopliss turned his back to Bernkastel. “Go get your own damn beer! You haven’t left that spot for hou –“ Their conversation was cut short by the sound of rioting outside the little shack they called a house. “I wonder what happened that caused everyone to get so upset.” “Probably the mods again.” Bernkastel’s fist slammed against the table. “Who do those bastards think they are anyway? Undermining my authority. I’m the monarch here!” Doopliss quietly ignored him. He walked over to the window and began searching for what could be the cause of it. It wasn’t long before the door to the shack was thrust open. Bowie rushed through the doorway, out of breath. “Guys! H-huge riot! A large group of us were hanging out in an alleyway, not talking about hats. But the mods found us. They tried to get rid of us, but most of us escaped.” Bernkastel finally sat up, intrigued by the news. “Why the rioting then? Can’t you just regroup elsewhere?” “Not all of us got away.” Bowie handed Doopliss a photo. “Do you remember him? Dr. Evil Brain? He’s been banished from the city!” “He what?!” Doopliss stared dumbfounded at the picture. “Th – They actually banished him?” “Yes! I think they’re planning to stamp out any competition for power. Lady Bernkastel isn’t safe here. We must seek the assistance of other supporters of the resistance.” “I’m the monarch, so it shouldn’t be too hard for me to speak with other resistance leaders.” Bernkastel walked over to the hat rack and started picking through hats. “Who do you think we should go to first? The Commander or the Binocrat?” “The Commander is not easy to convince. If one leader were to plead with him alone, he’d probably shrug it off.” Doopliss pointed out the window, towards a skyscraper on the other side of the city. “Our best chance is trying to plead with the Binocrat.” “Alright.” Bernkastel turned to the others with a smirk. “Archmaid. Archmage. Let’s go. We’re going to go see the Binocrat.” Bernkastel began walking out the door. “Give us one minute, Lady Bernkastel.” After he was sure Bernkastel wasn’t able to hear them, he turned to Doopliss. “How much longer are we going to do this? It feels like it’s been months. Bern isn’t in any position of authority and we both know it.” “Until we find out what Bern’s gender is. Trust me, I’m getting as fed up as you are, but our mission for the Binocrat comes first.” “What does the Binocrat even need this information for anyway? Who cares what gender Bern is?” Doopliss shrugged. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because he wants an advantage over the Commander. Both are trying their best to keep important information on the entire city. I’ll bet theour mission is an attempt at this. Imagine getting information on the most elusive resident in the whole city.” “And what information on Bernkastel would be important to the Binocrat? That she’s an alcoholic and sleeps all the time?” Bowie sighed and walked back to the door. “Come on. Bern will get impatient if we don’t hurry, and we really need to speak with the Binocrat.” “You’re right.” Doopliss joined Bowie by the door. “Make sure Bern doesn’t do anything to irritate the Binocrat.” “You have my word.” ------------------------------ “Sir, an uprising has slowly begun in the city.” A man in a black suit slowly walked into a large throne room. He bowed before the throne as it slowly turned to reveal an older man in a similar suit upon the throne. “We believe the uprising to have started over the banishment of a rebel.” “This was guaranteed to happen. I was planning it. Have you collected the information on the rebel forces I requested?” “I have sir. Please turn you attention to the screen.” A large screen came down from the ceiling. It displayed the image of two men. On the left was a shorter man with blonde hair in a rather expensive looking suit. To the right was a man dressed entirely in a military uniform. “To your left is the Binocrat. He’s a wealthy tycoon that runs most of the financial operations of both sides of the rebellion. He seeks to take control of the city through clever tactics and deceit. To your right is the Commander. He’s a hardened warlord with enough men and firepower on his side to demolish armies. He seeks to gain control over the city through brute force. However, the two don’t get along well. Neither of them agrees with the other’s tactics which causes a lot of in fighting. We’re doing our best to make them fight each other until they’re both weak and easy to kill.” “Are these the only rebel leaders?” “Um . . . well, there is one other that we found a following for, but . . . it’s really nothing to be worried with.” “Tell me about this leader.” The man hesitated, but press the button anyway, revealing the third leader. The person had long, waist length hair and wore a frilly dress, but had the build of a man. “This is Lady Bernkastel. No one knows who this is, what gender it is, or where it came from. All we know is, it lives in a very small house all by its lonesome on the other side of the city. It has two loyal followers, the ‘Archmaid’ Bowie and the ‘Archmage’ Doopliss. Bernkastel has repeatedly stated it’s the true monarch over the city.” “This one is not to be worried with. This lady can do us no harm. But keep an eye on the Binocrat and the Commander and give me information on some of their important underlings.” “Yes sir.” The man pressed a button and the giant screen returned to the ceiling. He quietly left the room to fulfill his duty. The older man returned his throne to its original position, facing a giant window overlooking the city before him. He saw the rioting crowd below and smiled. “Go on. Continue rioting, little ants. I’ll have break your spirits until you’re nothing but walking husks.”[/spoiler2] I plan for subsequent chapters to focus more on all factions. I just wrote this as a jumping off point. The next chapter will be from the Binocrat's POV.

YOU FOOL

Bitch, my next story is going to blow SPUF/Zero out the water.

Time paradoxes work like that in my imagination.

Well, don't get too close to him. It'll create a time paradox.

Everyone died because Evil Brain blew up the city. Fourth Wall antics just consisted of Bowie gaining a free will. Which actually happened by the way. Can you help me find "figment of my imagination" Bowie? Before real Bowie finds him?

I diddled you by having a story where everyone dies?

Not a single diddle in this thread.

I assure you, there has been no diddling.

If that's true, why am I working on a new fic now? Yes it is an ending. I'll make up for it eventually.