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Well, sometimes, to be fair, I get really pissed off with them. Especially since I gave up on the cardboard Eyelander. It flopped in two. I still have my Gunslinger, but I'll never finish it as I can't work out how to put it on my hand. This one though... Um...

Long ago, in the land of California, I was on my computer. I was signing up for steam, and I couldn’t think of a name.Suddenly, from the heavens, an angel descended, and he told me to travel on the road, and get on my way to Scotland, and I’d be told what my username should be.So I went off, to Scotland, with nothing but 10 dollars, a pack of gum, a rubber band, and half a pencil. Out of nowhere, an eagle majestically picked me up, and made me fly into the heavens. I tried to break free, but then a voice in my head said “Don’t resist, just go.”So I was on that eagle for quite a bit, until I landed in an unknown area in what appeared to be Scotland.I walked aimlessly for hours, until I came up to a castle. Looked abandoned, so I went in, and there was nothing. I kept looking around, but all the rooms were empty of furniture, except for a bookcase in the what appeared to be a dining hall.I went up to the bookcase, and started looking around; There was some interesting stuff, records of towns, and stuff. I pulled a book, and the book case opened up, leading to a hidden passage.Since I was in Scotland, no idea where to go, and probably gonna die of starvation anyways, I decided to go through the hidden passage. Any sane person wouldn’t have done it, BUT I WAS ON A MISSION! A MISSION TO FIND MY USERNAME!So I went in, tripped on a rock, and got knocked out. While knocked out I had an amazing epiphany. I was in a dark forest, but there was a light somewhere. I followed the light, and I saw… SEAN CONNERY!“WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR BOY. Can’t you see I’m readying for battle! Against lawyers. Lawyers. Bastards. Every single one of them.”“Sir” I said, “I’m here to find out what my username for steam should be. I was told by an angel to come to Scotland, and find out here.”“YOU TWIT, that wasn’t an angel.” Shouted Connery.“That was a lawyer in disguise, here to find me! Now I’ve got to find another abandoned castle, or else the Lawyers will come and find me!Well, you came all this way. You will be… Sir Guy923. I can't think of anything. Here, take this hat too.” Then I took the hat and left.And that’s how I got my username. It was bestowed upon me by Sean Connery, in a castle, in Some part of Scotland. The story of how I got back to America though… that’s for another day./artfulwords