-
Content Count
168 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
29
Single Status Update
See all updates by LordCOVID Monkey
-
Time for another LeakerAIDS Monkey exclusive! As anyone who cares about Pokemon knows, Sword and Shield have been pretty massively leaked. And as a result, everyone’s complaining. Which is probably totally justified. But what if I told you that the complaining ISN’T actually justified, and that the leaks are actually FAKE?! You’d probably think I was crazy, which I most definitely am not. I have secret sources that have given me REAL information about the upcoming games, and with only a few days left before the release of Pokemon Sword and Shield, there’s no better time to share this exclusive info with you! What I am about to show you are 10 new Pokemon that are sure to make a great addition to any team! Let’s go! (DISCLAIMER: I don't actually have any pictures or proof of these Pokemon, but it's ok, because using my excellent art talent, I have drawn them all from memory!)
SpoilerFlamingro!
Our first leak is the ever so tall bird Pokemon, Flamingro. Flamingro is the tallest Pokemon to date, reaching heights of 10,000 ft! Woah! Let it be known that this is no Dynamax form, and that Flamingro is this tall in his base form. It’s a water and flying type, y’know, because it’s a flamingo. Someone tell this bird to get its head outta the clouds!
Tigirth!
Complimenting the tall Flamingro, we have its version exclusive counterpart, Tigirth! Tigirth is the heaviest Pokemon known to man, weighing in at 5,000 pounds. Tigirth’s favorite food are donuts, specifically the glazed kind. In fact. Tigirth’s special move makes use of donuts, which heals him and raises his defenses through the roof! He’d be a normal type, because fat things are always normal types in Pokemon.
Pigloo!
Next up is the all new ice-type Pokemon, Pigloo! Pigloo is quite the defensive juggernaut due to its hardened ice body! However, Pigloo possesses a very low speed stat, because as we all know, igloos don’t move. An interesting tidbit of information about Pigloo in the Pokedex would state that when a Pigloo dies, its body makes great shelter for other Pokemon who are out in the cold! So even in death, Pigloo would make a great partner!
Cobroth!
Now here’s my personal favorite of the new additions this gen! Cobroth, the all new poison and fire type Pokemon! This danger noodle has taken shelter in a smokin’ hot bowl of soup, and will leap out at anyone who dare goes near it! Perfect camouflage! This little guy packs quite a venomous bite, making it a poison type. And it’s a fire type because THIS SOUP IS HOT!
Scribbill!
This next Pokemon is named Scribbill, which is clearly a pun on the words “scribble” and “bill”. Duh. Anywho, it’s a piece of shit drawing of a duck, possessing the normal type. No one knows how it came to be, but legends say that it was a child’s drawing that came to life some day through some fantasy magic bullshit. Quite a well thought out origin story for a well thought out Pokemon design!
Umbrawlla
Our next Pokemon is Umbrawlla, the all new ghost and fighting type Pokemon based off of everyone’s favorite Japanese legend! This spooky guy has two forms. “Fold Up” is its first form, where it’d be simply a folded up umbrella dude. When it uses an attack, however, it activates its “Square Up” form, wherein its umbrella self opens up, revealing its two frightening fists! What a kooky and spooky new addition to the game!
Kukucrock!
This Pokemon is quite interesting indeed, named Kukucrock! Though it may be hard to tell based on my shitty drawings, its name is clearly derived from the fact that it is a crocodile and cuckoo clock hybrid! The little birdie and the croc have formed a symbiotic relationship wherein the birdie cleans the croc’s teeth, while also getting a free meal!
Busbee!
Busbee would be an all new ground and bug type Pokemon! Based on the somewhat-famous mining town of Bisbee, Arizona, this bee is sure to be a busy fella. It makes a living going into the honey mines, collecting tasty honey nuggets for its queen! It’s also worth mentioning that in Sword and Shield, there would be an all new honey mine location where you can capture this little rascal, as well as other bee pokemon.
Sgnome!
Nearing the end of the list, we have the ice and grass type Pokemon, Sgnome! I really have no idea what the fuck this ugly-ass piece of shit is supposed to be, but judging by the name, its some kind of snow gnome. With its marvelous pine tree hat, it is granted a grass typing, and with its snowy beard, it has an ice type! Wow!
Giraffro!
The final Pokemon that I have to leak is the all new and all cool electric type, Giraffro! This hilarious hooved hooligan is fittingly named due to its afro, that was a result of all the electricity traveling between its horns. Giraffro would make a good addition to any team, and hopefully, will become Generation 8’s most popular Pokemon! Afterall, we all know what happens to the most popular Pokemon… THEY MAKE IT INTO SMASH! And with a face like that, who wouldn’t want to see this guy in Smash Bros?
Well friends, that’s all for today’s leak! Unfortunately, the Pokemon community is pretty split right now due to all the information we’ve received about the game through leaks. But I’m here to bring the community back together with my real leaks! Now, will you support GameFreak or boycott them? Hopefully with this information, you good people of SPUF will make the right decision! (Hint: You’ll look like an idiot regardless of which side you pick!)