LordCOVID Monkey

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

 

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

 

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

 

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

 

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

 

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

 

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

 

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

 

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

 

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

 

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

 

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

 

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

 

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

 

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

 

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

 

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

 

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

 

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

 

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

 

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

 

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

 

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

 

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

 

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

 

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

 

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

 

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

 

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.