TheOnlyGuyEver

I've been having a lot more dreams lately. Cool. Last night I dreamt I was on the porch eating a pizza. And each time I looked away then looked back at the pizza, it would be a different kind of pizza, and would all its slices restored no matter how much were gone before. Pretty cool. Next I was playing a round of Powerhouse as Demo. Yeah. And it went exactly like a normal round of Powerhouse. Like nothing odd even happened. The next round was a little weird, cause now I was playing Sniper but with Demo's weapons, and there was also a new Darth Vader helmet cosmetic for Soldier, which was apparently like the new go-to tryhard cosmetic for Soldier. Then I was in an ATV convoy with 2 friends. It was cool but the brake on the ATV was weird. It was a small oval-shaped button on the handle, which would cause the ATV to come to a complete stop in about half a second, which was a little jarring. So I just drove down a straight desert road at night on an ATV with some friends for like 2 dream hours, and then we reached a gas station and I got some chips. And now finally, tying into the Darth Vader thing from earlier, I was basically watching A New Hope in my dream, except instead of the Death Star plans, Darth Vader just wanted his pet Shih Tzu back from Princess Leia. He got it and left without hurting anyone.

Nobody said the Slosher life was easy.

I had like 3 dreams in one big dream last night. Long ones, too. First, I was on a bus in what looked like the Australian outback. Just chilling out at first, then I decided to be a shithead and get out of the bus, then I realize "Oh shit this ain't my stop" and so I just walked until I reached civilization. I found two empty beer bottles and filled one up with sand. So now I've walked for like 2 minutes and I am now somehow in the fuckin hood. Like the hoodiest hood you can imagine. I see a UPS truck come to a stop right as some little girl runs at me with a block of wood, and so caved her skull in with the sand-bottle I had. Then I go up the truck and tell the UPS lady something like "Hey, I'm lost and scared and in the hood, can I maybe ride with you to get home?" so she says yeah and I tell her where I'm from. She doesn't know the town, but we end up driving to a few familiar dream locations I've seen before asking people if they know how to get to my town, then she's like "Shit, it's getting late, you can sleep at my house tonight and we can try again tomorrow" So now I'm hanging out in her kitchen and I'm boiling some fruit (for some reason). Then the pot starts shaking and I'm like "OH SHIT I NEED TO GET A FUCKING HAMMER" cause I just remembered that in a previous dream I got cursed by a Hawaiian witch so that every few months or so, every fruit in the house I'm in will come to life and try to kill me. And bugs will also pop out of the seeds if those aren't destroyed too. So I kill all the evil fruit and all the annoying bug seeds with a hammer that the UPS lady conveniently had lying around her kitchen. Then for some reason I'm watching Jerma stream something that looks like Kingdom Hearts mixed with Crash Bandicoot, and Etalyx is singing in the background, causing Jerma to laugh his ass off. Then I woke up.

I came here cause I thought it said "comedy stuff" Got excited for nothing :(

Speaking of collarbones, that reminds me of the time I got hit really really hard in the collarbone with a hockey stick. We weren't even playing hockey. We were on a pool deck.

Aww that shit's good.

This is now a severe injury thread. Everybody get in here! I've never broken anything, but in addition to the knife, a drill went through the palm of my hand (still a circle-shaped scar) and I used to have a bald spot on the top of my head cause of a big rock.

Hoooooo boyyyyy. I once had a knife go all the way through my foot, but I don't think that compares.

*Face of disdain*

I just realized the SPUFpowered logo is 3D

So bloated as in dead whale? Yuck. Hope nothing got on you.

It didn't run? Fat ass raccoon needs to hit the gym. In heaven.

It's funny you say that; I've had rings under my eyes ever since I was 4. Presumably because the doctors fucked up the eye surgery.

Why would you not sleep?

I don't like roman numerals

I like Don't Starve whenever I'm burnt out on TF2.

When we drove down to the keys a couple of years ago, I really wanted to catch an iguana. So we were taking the boat through a canal out to sea, and we stopped in the canal because there was an iguana up in someone's yard, so I got out and broke into a full fuckin sprint and tackled the iguana. Sadly it slipped away and climbed way up a tree. Man those things have really big claws.

In the Tough Break patch notes they specified "Demoman/Demoknight" for Demo's changes, unlike every update before it.

You want some?

I'm really picky when it comes to games. I like games with lots of replayability though.

For whatever reason, our cat has been bringing rats into the house at night recently, but he won't kill them. He'll just bring them into the house and then let them run around. So then we have to spend like 2 days walking the dog through every room in the house until she eventually sniffs out the rat and kills it. ----- Anyway, y'all's raccoon stories are just like what raccoons like to dig through. Trash. And coolers. Except Idiot Cube, yours is decent. Luckily I remembered another one! We were camping on the river bank as we like to do in the fall and winter, and it was probably around 10 or 11 at night, and we'd just finished making dinner over the fire. Suddenly this fat ass raccoon walks right up about 4 yards away from us and steals our fuckin bread. So I throw a log at it and hit it and it drops the bread, but in the like 3 seconds it had possession of the bread it had already bit through the plastic bag and into the bread. So we said "fuck it, why risk rabies" and threw the whole loaf in the water for the fish. Can fish get rabies?

❤❤❤❤.