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LordAIDS Monkey

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About LordAIDS Monkey

  • Rank
    Scarcely Lethal
  • Birthday September 8

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  • Location
    My house.
  • Interests
    Money, food, low-quality content... Amongst other things that are far too embarrassing to speak of!

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  1. LordAIDS Monkey

    E3 2018

    But my BUP Boy never got the assist trophy treatment. Clearly, that means he'll be playable in this one. I'm still holding out for him. We all should, because he's the best.
  2. LordAIDS Monkey

    E3 2018

    No hype from me until Captain Toad's reveal.
  3. LordAIDS Monkey

    Ancient AIDS History: The Apocalypse Update!!

    If by "good", you mean that I'm good at going so far off topic that the essay becomes completely unrecognizable, then yes! I am good at timed essays!
  4. Howdy SPUFFriends! Very soon we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of SPUF's sad end. And that got me thinking on how I can join in on the wacky festivities! After doing a whole lot of nothing in preparation for the big day, I did stumble across something very peculiar in my secret archives! (Right between the folder for my grandma's cookie recipe and my Little Mermaid hentai.) Yes, you see friends, I stumbled upon something that I thought went down with SPUF, something that probably shouldn't have seen the light of day again. But today I bring semi-great news, as I have found a LordAIDS Monkey Original Update retrieved directly from SPUF itself! So get cozy in your little chair as I present to you the (mostly) un-edited TF2 Update pulled straight from SPUF's end-times! (You need to keep in mind the context of the time as you read!) And there you have it! An ancient piece of SPUF history completely restored by yours truly! Obviously, I lied at the end there about not coming back. It was just my way of attention whoring or something. But until next time, this is LordAIDS Monkey signing out! Happy SPUFFiversary, y'all!
  5. LordAIDS Monkey

    The Official Random Image Thread!! SPUF style

    It's a shame that 3DS flipnote never came to be.
  6. LordAIDS Monkey

    TIAM: Entertainment Stuff

    You see, I would, but now you've incurred my wrath. So instead I'm gonna like your post and pretend that I'm better than you!
  7. LordAIDS Monkey

    TIAM: Entertainment Stuff

    Totally Spies? You mean that bizarre fetishist show? I didn't realize it was ever popular with anyone, but you learn something new every day! You all do you, pals.
  8. LordAIDS Monkey

    Doodles on my mediocre drawing tablet

    Oh, the sights you'll see if you go right instead of left near Kelly Park!
  9. LordAIDS Monkey

    Barely Useful Superpowers

    You superhumans make me feel inadequate.
  10. LordAIDS Monkey

    Barely Useful Superpowers

    The power to snap with both hands. Lame, but totally practical.
  11. Howdy, SPUFFriends! I’m back for the what-seems-like-thousandth time to bring to you all yet another exciting tier-list! Now, I’m no expert in history, but using limited resources, I was able to construct a list all about the best people throughout history! This one’s pretty long overdue, as it was suggested by “a-Guy-who-shall-not-be-named” a while back. And now that the Monster-Girl Tier List has officially been buried away, it only seems fitting that I put my ugly mug back into the status update section! So without further ado, I bring to you all… THE DEFINITIVE HISTORICAL FIGURE TIER LIST!

     

     

    The Definitive Historical Figure Tier List!

     

    Spoiler

    10. Marie Antoinette

    800px-marie_antoinette_young2.jpg

    Starting the list, we have the late and great queen of France, Marie Antoinette! She tends to receive hate for stirring up a lot of commotion during her rule, but this should not detract from all the great things she did! Though, being a history know-nothing, I can’t recall any of it. (Other than she had something to do with cake.) Rest assured, she’s pretty alright, and totally deserving to go down as the 10th best person in all of history.

     

    9. Mahatma Gandhi

    Image result for gandhi

    Gandhi is a pretty upstanding citizen, telling those silly Brits to back off when nobody else would! He reminds me of the American hero, George Washington, who unfortunately didn’t make the list. But why did Gandhi place higher than Washington? Because he told them punks to back off without having to hurt any of them! Good ol’ Gandhi!

     

    8.Edwin Perkins

    Image result for edwin perkins

    In 1921, this man had made history, perhaps bringing to the world one of the greatest and most innovative things of all time! Powdered Kool-Aid! While the drink itself is nothing spectacular, the nostalgia hits hard! Oh yeah, indeed.

     

    6 and 7. Colonel Sanders & Wendy Thomas

    Image result for colonel sanders wendy's

    I couldn’t decide which one of these was the better mascot, so they’ve tied for 6th and 7th place. On one hand, Colonel Sanders has a finger-lickin’ good secret recipe, and on the other hand, Wendy is quite a bitch and one should never try to engage in an argument with her. (She’ll totallly win.) Together, they make a totally unbeatable historical duo. (And a pretty damn good ship!)

     

    5.Calvin Coolidge

    Image result for calvin coolidge

    When it comes to American presidents, good ol’ Double C is by far the greatest of them all. He may be forgotten by pretty much everyone, but that is only befitting of a humble man such as himself! Coolidge, though you were the 30th president, you’ll always be #1 in my eyes.

     

    4. Medusa

    Image result for medusa sad

    Medusa kinda gets a bad rep, because she’s supposedly “hideous and wicked”. But know this! Medusa did nothing wrong, and she can’t possibly be hideous or wicked, because she has snakes for hair! Medusa also gets bonus points for being a variant of Snake-Girl. A really great historical figure overall.

     

    3. Indiana Jones

    Image result for indiana jones

    Now, Dr. Jones is a pretty smart dude. He goes on all sorts of wacky adventures where he proves his worth, beating a bunch of the WORST PEOPLE IN ALL OF HISTORY (The Nazis). However, due to his unfortunate fear of snakes, he gets a few points taken off. But #3 isn’t that bad at all! Well done, Indy!

     

    2. You

    Image result for gingerbread man clipart

    That’s right, my SPUFFriend! YOU! This may come as a bit of a shock, but I personally believe that you, and only you, are the second best person in all of history! So go brag to all your friends that you’re second best, because you’ve earned it! Unfortunately for you, you can’t be the #1 best, because that position belongs to...

     

    1. Paul Bunyan

    Image result for paul bunyan

    Paul Bunyan is, quite literally, the biggest name in all of history. All pale in comparison to his mighty stature and heroic deeds, such as chopping wood and adopting a pet ox. Some may say that he isn’t historical, but is rather a character from fantasy. And to that I say, “phooey!” Paul Bunyan did, and still does live to this day! And he’s better than you.

     

    There you go, SPUFFriends! Now you know the top 10 people from all of history! Please bear in mind, that this list is pretty much as accurate as they come. It may as well be in an actual history book! So next time you have to write a historical essay, you know exactly which 10 people you oughta write about! Until next time, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing out!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      According to my research, Paul Bunyan is basically the American version of Godzilla. He comes from the sea, in times of need!

    3. TheOnlyGuyEver

      TheOnlyGuyEver

      @Gyokuyoutama If Paul Bunyan is from anywhere he's from Kansas.

    4. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      Kansas? I think you mean Atlantis.

  12. Greetings once again, my friends! After re-reading the Original Definitive Monster Girl Tier List, I realized that it wasn’t quite as definitive as I had claimed! And if you know me, you know I’m not one to spread lies on the internet! So I have decided that a revision of the original Monster-Girl Tier List is the only way that I can redeem myself! So now, I, LordAIDS Monkey, bring to you the Definitive Monster-Girl Tier List: Revised Edition! This time around, I’ve included 30 of the little suckers, so you waifu chasers are in for a real treat! (Disclaimer: Years of studying went into the making of this list, as evidenced by my degree in Monstergirlology. Therefore, everything said in this list is indisputable! Also, I was gonna make my own illustrations for this list, but then I got too lazy. So instead I stole some clipart from the internet!)

     

    The Definitive Monster-Girl Tier List: Revised Edition!

     

    Girls 30-21

    Spoiler

    30. Cat-Girl

    Related image

    Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

    Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

    Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

     

    29. Alien-Girl

    Image result for little grey alien

    I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

    Pros: She comes in peace.

    Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

     

    28. Cyclops-Girl

    Image result for manako monster musume

    Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

    Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

    Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

     

    27. Robot-Girl

    Image result for funny robot girl

    Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

    Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

    Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

     

    26. Fake-Girl

    Related image

    Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

    Pros: I’m not one to judge!

    Cons: Traps are gay.

     

    25. Horse-Girl

    Image result for cute centaur

    Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

    Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

    Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

     

    24. Zombie-Girl

    Image result for zombie girl anime

    Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

    Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

    Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

     

    23. Slime-Girl

    Image result for cute slime girl

    This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

    Pros: Can recover from any injury!

    Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

     

    22. Bird-Girl

    Image result for cute bird

    Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

    Pros: She flies.

    Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

     

    21. Snail-Girl

    Image result for cute snail girl

    I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

    Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

    Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

     

    Girls 20-11

    Spoiler

    20. Golem-Girl

    Image result for cute golem girl

    Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

    Pros: Will rock your world.

    Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

     

    19. Insect-Girl

    Related image

    Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

    Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

    Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

     

    18. Doll-Girl

    Image result for raggedy ann

    I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

    Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

    Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

     

    17. Dracula-Girl

    Image result for cute vampire girl clipart

    Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

    Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

    Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

     

    16. Succubus-Girl

    Related image

    Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

    Pros: Always in the mood.
    Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

     

    15. Spider-Girl

    Related image

    Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

    Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

    Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

     

    14. Big-Girl

    Related image

    Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

    Pros: More Girl to love.
    Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

     

    13. Dragon-Girl

    Related image

    It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

    Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

    Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

     

    12.Elf-Girl

    Image result for cute elf girl

    Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

    Pros: Pointy ears.

    Cons: Pointy ears.

     

    11. Octopus-Girl

    Related image

    Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

    Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

    Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

     


    Girls 10-1

    Spoiler

    10. Milk-Girl

    Image result for anime cow girl

    Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

    Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

    Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

     

    9. Were-Wolf-Girl

    Image result for cute werewolf

    Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

    Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

    Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

     

    8. Dullahan-Girl

    Image result for cute dullahan girl

    This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

    Pros: Gives pretty good head.

    Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

     

    7. Fairy-Girl.

    Related image

    Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

    Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

    Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

     

    6. Witch-Girl

    Related image

    Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

    Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

    Cons: Flammable.

     

    5. Plant-Girl

    Image result for cute anime plant girl

    In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

    Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

    Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

     

    4. Ghost-Girl

    Related image

    Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

    Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

    Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

     

    3. Holy-Girl

    Related image

    Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

    Pros: The cutest little angel.

    Cons: Probably a really boring person.

     

    2. Fish-Girl

    Image result for cute anime mermaid

    Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

    Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

    Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

     

    1. Snake-Girl

    Image result for cute medusa

    Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

    Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

    Cons: Snake vagina.

     

     

    There it is, friends! Now you know, for certain, which Monster-Girls are acceptable to have the hots for! Just know that in getting the most perfect images, I stumbled across a lot of naughty pictures of Fetishized-Monster-Girl-Sluts, but it was well worth it in order to bring you all the facts that you so desperately needed to see! If you happen to disagree with this list, just know that you are arguing against scientific fact and are just making a fool of yourself! Anyways, that wraps up this exciting tier-list-revision. Until next time, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing out!

     

    (Goodness, I really need to get back to work on brewing up some exciting new TF2 Update Ideas, just like old times!! But I gotta say, these stupid lists are way easier!)

    1. Show previous comments  39 more
    2. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      In all truthfulness, it hardly matters what us Monster-Girl Masters call ourselves, because a degree in the field has no practicality whatsoever, and leads to unemployment. Unless you're, like, really good at drawing hentai or something whack like that.

    3. Expresate

      Expresate

      The truth of LordAIDS Monkey is revealed!

    4. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      Rats! I've said too much and the secret is out. Now everyone's gonna know that I'm unemployed.

  13. LordAIDS Monkey

    Welcome to our new Administrators!

    Now that I have acquired the power I have long sought, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it... I think a nap is in order.
  14. Greetings friends! Today I have yet another rankings list that must be shared with all of you! I know I’ve done Touhou rankings before, but at last I have completed an OFFICIAL RANKING FOR EVERY TOOHOO EVER! (Or at least the ones that matter.) Please bear in mind that, like everything I post, this list is FACT! So get cozy in your little chair, because this list is a real doozy!

     

     

     

    The Definitive Touhou Tier List! (Complete Version!!)

    (The Top 10 have wonderful art by me, LordAIDS Monkey!)

    Spoiler

    Dog Shit Tier

    These Toohoos are basically the worst of the worst. If you like any of them, then you need to find some better ones, because they sure ain’t here.

    Spoiler

    120. Evil Eye Sigma

    How the fuck did this Eldritch Abomination get in my Touhou!?

     

    119. Reimu Hakurei

    An absolutely despicable character. She goes around bullying innocent Toohoos, and doesn’t even apologize! She’s also a dirty cheater who rewrites the rules she can win. That’s not cool, Reimu!

     

    118. Yatsuhashi Tsukumo

    I finally figured out that she does, in fact, have a name! I still don’t like her, though.

     

    117. Suika Ibuki

    The pint-sized version of Yuugi. But unlike most pint-size things, Suika just doesn’t manage to be all that cute. I like to consider her the Scrappy Doo to Yuugi’s Scooby Doo.

     

    116. Okina Matara

    A pretty alright Toohoo, if I do say so myself! But then you realize that almost everything about her is a complete RIP-OFF of way cooler ones! Despicable!

     

    115. Hatate Himekaidou

    Basically Aya, but, like, a really lame version of Aya.

     

    114. The Three Mischievous Fairies

    These three can’t even manage to be memorable when they’re together in a group! Though, if I had to rate them individually, then I’d have to say that Sunny > Luna > Star.

     

    Trash Tier

    These Toohoos are pretty bad for a number of reasons, but it’s at least ok to pity them for how lame they are.

    Spoiler

    113. Seija Kijin

    Seija is one of those “love to hate” characters, so she deserves a really low place on this list. If it weren’t for her floppity powers, she’d probably be on top somewhere.

     

    112. Cirno

    I guess she’s kinda cute? I dunno, she’s kinda lackluster. But she sure tans nicely.

     

    111. Iku Nagae

    She’s got ribbons. But her theme song isn’t really all that great. One of the lamest around, I’d say!

     

    110. Chiyuri Kitashirakawa

    Her claim to fame? The dab. How pitiful!

     

    109. Sakuya Izayoi

    Totally a bad Touhou character. She’s awfully mean to Meiling (a far superior choice), and she also has a lame-ass meme relating to her. Get yourself a REAL meme, Sakuya!

     

    108. Kogasa Tatara

    Kogasa is truly a really great Toohoo, definitely one of my personal favorites. But... I put her here by mistake. I'm so sorry, Kogasa.

     

    107. Ringo

    I hate these damn rabbits.

     

    106. Tewi Inaba

    Seriously, I hate them.

     

    105. Seiran

    Why can’t these rabbits just go away?

     

    104. Nazrin

    She’s like Chen, if Chen were a dirty rat.

     

    103. Medicine Melancholy

    Still lives in her mother’s basement and plays with dolls. What a goddamn loser.

     

    102. Alice Margatroid

    Still lives in her mother’s basement and plays with herself. What a goddamn loser.

     

    101. Jo’on Yorigami

    The first time I saw her I thought she had a mole on her face, and I thought it was the most perfect thing. Needless to say, I was disappointed when I found out she didn’t have a mole.

     

    100. Satono Nishida

    I don’t even know what to say about her, that’s how little I care.

     

    99. Ran Yakumo

    If this were a hat tier list, she’d be high tier. But I don’t like cat girls, so she’s low a low tier.

     

    98. Flandre Scarlet

    Her theme isn’t even that great, guys! Plus, her fan-base is a rabid bunch of buffoons!

     

    97. Shizuha Aki

    I like her, I really do. The thing is, nobody else does.

     

    96. Captain Murasa

    Cruel, heartless bastard. Bullies nice Toohoos like Komachi and Futo.

     

    Moldy Bread Tier

    These Toohoos have a bunch of flaws, but unlike the other, lower tiers, they at least each have a redeeming quality or two.

    Spoiler

    95. The Watatsuki Sisters

    Unaffectionately known as the Moonbitches.

     

    94. Shion Yorigami

    Her sister is a billion times better than her. However, Jo’on placed lower because I’m still mad at her for not having a mole on her face.

     

    93. Sumireko Usami

    Well, I really like her theme song, but she doesn’t really stand out outside of that.

     

    92. Keine Kamishirawawa.

    Keine is an awfully frightening Toohoo. She’s supposed to be a were-cow or something, and that’s probably one of the most terrifying thoughts of all time! I guess you could say that she dreads the full moooon! Huhuh!


    91. Seiga Kaku

    Seiga is pretty much a dastardly villain of a Toohoo, and Touhou is no place for dastardly villains!

     

    90. Kisume

    She was cool until Shinmyoumaru came along. She stole her shtick of being a cute girl in a bowly thing, only Shinmyoumaru is waaaaay cooler!

     

    89. Nitori Kawashiro

    Fuck you, Nitori.


    88. Kanako Yasaka

    Not my snake god.

     

    PC-98 Tier

    These poor souls are all forgotten, but fear not, for ol’ AIDS Monkey remembered them!

    Spoiler

    87: Kana Anaberal

    She gives off creepy doll vibes, and I really don’t like creepy dolls. Probably the scariest thing ever next to spiders.

     

    86: Louise

    She looks kind of smug. Smugness is always a good thing to have, especially in the Land of Touhou!

     

    85: Kikuri

    Would have been a way better Toohoo if she was an Abraham Lincoln instead of... Whatever she’s supposed to be.

     

    84. Trump King

    Yikes.

     

    83: Ellen

    She’s kind of cute, I guess. It’s hard to tell because the PC-98 art is so bad. Even worse than the later art.

     

    82: Kotohime

    What a kooky and strange gal! She’s a-ok in my book!

     

    81: Socrates

    I may not like cat girls, but REGULAR cats are just fine!

     

    80: Mimi-Chan

    A rocket penis?! Sign me up!

     

    79: Mai

    What a strange Toohoo!

     

    78: Gengetsu

    A nasty gal.

     

    77: Mugetsu

    Another nasty gal.

     

    76. Konngara

    I don’t really know anything about these PC-98 fellas, but I do know that Konngara is a badass!

     

    75. Orange

    Damn. I wish my name was Orange.

     

    74. Elly

    I feel kind of bad for this little gal. Everyone knows her theme song, but no one stops to appreciate her. Well that’s all about to change, because I love Elly!

     

    73. Genjii

    Holy smokes! A turtle?!? Why did Reimu Bitch get rid of him?

     

    ?: Every other PC-98 Character (Who isn’t on this list)

    I just realized that, while I may have remembered these Toohoos, I don’t actually care about any of them, and neither should you! Therefore, they rest of them shall all trapped in Touhou Tier List Limbo, FOREVER!

     

    Forgettable Tier

    These Toohoos are all just plain forgettable. Also, if by any chance I forgot to put any characters on this list, just assume they fall in here somewhere.

    Spoiler

    72. Daiyousei

    Well, I guess she’s better than Cirno? Maybe?

     

    71. Sagume Kishin

    Of all the characters in this tier, she is by far the most deserving to be here. Other than her stage theme, she really has nothing special going for her!

     

    70. Rin Kaenbyou

    Subterranean Animism, by far the best Toohoo Adventure™  in both characters and music, throws this little curve-ball at us. Rin isn’t bad or anything, just severely outclassed by her peers!

     

    69. Mai Teireida

    Forget what I said about Sagume. This bitch is as forgettable as they come.

     

    68. Suwako Moriya

    This one is actually quite interesting. Suwako herself isn’t really a character, but rather an entity controlled by a mind-parasite hat that has plans of conquering Touhou-Land! So, yes, Suwako is forgettable, but her hat isn't so much.

     

    67. Momiji Inubashiri

    I say she’s forgettable, but she truly isn’t because she has a crazy high number of fans for some reason, despite her being some random idiot with no dialogue. So in reality, she should be forgettable.

     

    66. Benben Tsukumo

    I wish I could forget about her.

     

    65. Chen

    She’d be a lot lower if it weren’t for her wacky Chen memes.

     

    64. Soga no Tojiko

    Poor, poor Tojiko. Overshadowed by her way cooler Taoist buddies.

     

    63. Shou Toramaru

    I never understood why she was the Stage 5 boss of UFO, despite being probably the LAMEST of all the Buddhists’ scurvy crew. Also, what’s the point of her being a tiger if she isn’t really a tiger?

     

    62. Kyouko Kasodani

    She’s a better dog than Momiji could ever hope to be.

     

    61. Koakuma

    I don’t like Succubi anymore. Not since the last time I posted about them.

     

    60. Wriggle Nightbug

    One of the many variations of Insect-Girl. The male variant.

     

    59. Renko Usami

    Though she may be forgettable, she’s probably the most relateable Toohoo of all time! Some nerd with no talents or powers chasing some unobtainable fantasy? Sounds a lot like, well, everyone!

     

    Just-Below Acceptable Tier

    These Toohoos just aren’t quite good enough to make the cut for whatever reason. In my professional opinion, it is ok to like these ones as long as they aren’t your favorite.

    Spoiler

    58. Heida no Akyuu

    The most libelous Toohoo of all time. I’d hate her guts if she weren’t so cute.

     

    57. Remilia Scarlet

    While significantly better than her sister, she doesn’t quite hold up to the other Touhou characters!

     

    56. Patchouli Knowledge

    A sick nerd who reads books all day. It sounds lame on paper, but in practice she’s pretty badass!

     

    55. Toyosatomimi no Miko

    Miko used to be a totally awful character, sporting both a lame theme and lame design. But then… Hopeless Masquerade came along and gave her a BADASS remix and an even more BADASS cape. What’s not to love?

     

    54. Maribel Hearn

    Pros: Might be Yukari? Maybe? Cons: Totally a loser.

     

    53. Shinki

    She looks pretty evil, but she’s actually pretty nice, I guess. What a bizarre paradox of a Toohoo!

     

    52. Komachi Onozuka

    More like Komachichis.

     

    51. Narumi Yatadera

    She’s a RACIST STEREOTYPE of a Toohoo.

     

    50. Sanae Kochiya

    Green Reimu is best Reimu.

     

    49. Mamizou Futatsuiwa

    Dammit, Mamizou! You were so close to being acceptable, but your fighting game themes are pretty awful compared to your original theme!

     

    Acceptable Tier

    These Toohoos are nothing special, but now we’re at least finally reaching the Toohoos it’s ok to fawn over (or whatever it is you like to do to your Toohoos!)

    Spoiler

    48. Marisa Kirisame

    Fifty Bajillion times better than Reimu, and she still holds up quite nicely even when compared to other characters.

     

    47. Yuuka Kazami

    Yuuka is just a poor, misunderstood Toohoo. Aside from a few genocide remarks, I’m sure she’s super nice!

     

    46. Tokiko

    She’s cute.

     

    45. Eirin Yagokoro

    You’re not gonna get any mercy from the nursie.

     

    44. Eternity Larva

    I prefer calling her Etanity or Etarnity, because it, surprisingly, sounds less stupid.

     

    43. Reisen Udongein Inaba

    Of the hundreds of rabbit Toohoos, Reisen is the only one who actually amounts to anything. She’s got guns, for goodness sake!

     

    42. Nue Houjuu

    She’s pretty cute for someone who’s supposed to be feared by all!

     

    41. Aya Shameimaru

    Basically just Hatate, but only if Hatate were actually a likable character.

     

    40. Hata no Kokoro

    The mask gimmick is pretty cool, but the REAL reason she’s here is because her ass is a Jack-o’-Lantern!

     

    39. Aunn Komano

    So nice that even Reimu Bitch apologized after beating her up. That must mean that Aunn is a pretty damn awesome Toohoo!

     

    Cool Tier:

    Now we’re talking! All Toohoos beyond this point are all fantastic choices for a favorite!

    Spoiler

    38. Nemuno Sakata

    Nemuno is quite a history-maker of a Toohoo. Did you know that, at least according to my research, she is one of the first Toohoos to have CANON TITS? Gee whiz!

     

    37. Youmu Konpaku

    I like her pet spermy thing.

     

    36. Rinnosuke Morichika

    Some may argue that a man does not belong in Toohoo Land, but I disagree! He’s quite a handsome stud, and I’m sure that if every Toohoo ever wasn’t gay, they’d be all over him!

     

    35. Mystia Lorelei

    Mystia is a crafty little bird who sings songs to make you sick and sells you food promising it’ll cure you. A very wise business tactic indeed!

     

    34. Fujiwara no Mokou

    While Kaguya is miles better, Mokou is not without her strengths! For instance, she fights with FIRE! Which is way cooler than Kaguya’s lame powers.

     

    33. Yuugi Hoshiguma

    Yuugi isn’t all that cute, but she more than makes up for it with her BULGING MUSCLES! She can kick my ass anyday!

     

    32. Alice’s Dolls

    While Alice is busy playing with dolls/herself, these little dudes are actually getting shit done.

     

    31. Minoriko Aki

    While I like Shizuha, I must say that I love Minoriko! And if my calculations are correct, YOU love Minoriko too!

     

    30. Junko

    I don’t really know how Junko placed so high seeing as how she’s pretty mean. But she’s here, so I gotta think of something nice to say about her... I like Junko.

     

    29.Raiko Horikawa

    She was pretty much forgettable when it came to extra bosses, until this little gem came around! This solidified her as pretty much one of the best Toohoos around!

     

    Rumia Tier

    Rumia has special needs. One of which is having her own tier.

    Spoiler

    28. Rumia

    Rumia’s special to me, and she SHOULD be special to you!

     

    27. Yoshika Miyako

    Rumia was lonely in her own tier, so now she has a friend. Yoshika’s pretty cute for a zombie.

     

    26. Lily White

    They needed a tasty snack, too.

     

    Spectacular Tier

    These are the top-of-the-class Toohoos! Give these Toohoos lots of love. They deserve it.

    Spoiler

    25. The Prismriver Sisters

    When they are alone, they’re totally trash tier toohoos. But together, they become an unstoppable force! Their individual rankings are as follows: Merlin > Lunasa > Lyrica.

     

    24. Yamame Kurodani

    Spiders are, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing in existence. But combined with a magical girl, suddenly they become one of the greatest things of all time! (24th greatest, to be exact!)

     

    23. Hecatia Lapislazuli

    She has the dumbest name and design ever but I can’t help but love her for it.

     

    22. Kaguya Houraisan

    Other than being an irredeemable asshole, I don’t think there’s anything bad about Kaguya! She’s miles better than Mokou!

     

    21. Ichirin Kumoi

    She’s only here because of that cloud genie guy. She isn’t all to special without him, even when you consider the fact that she’s a nun.

     

    20. Shinmyoumaru Sukuna

    Shinmyoumaru takes the term “badass adorable” to a new extreme! She’s just so gosh darn cute.

     

    19. Shikieiki Yamaxanadu

    Shikieiki is the fair judge of Toohoo Land. She gets a lot of flak from fanon, but let me be the first to tell you that she isn’t deserving of any hate whatsoever! In fact, she deserves LOVE!

     

    18. Kagerou Imaizumi

    If Twilight has taught us anything, werewolves are cooler than vampires. Fuck you, Scarlet Sisters…!

     

    17. Sekibanki

    ...But nothing is cooler than a headless horseman…!

     

    16. Wakasagihime

    ...Except maybe a cute mermaid.

     

    15. Satori Komeiji

    She’s pretty cute and all, but I don’t want her to assault my mind with her mind rape powers. Also, her extra eyeball is awfully creepy, especially when it watches you get off to her.

     

    14. Hong Meiling

    Please stop Hong Meiling abuse. She’s just overworked, she isn’t lazy at all!

     

    13. Doremy Sweet

    The master of being cool, hip, and smug. Also doubles as a Santa Claus.

     

    12. Byakuren Hijiri

    Jiggle physics.

     

    11. Clownpiece

    Any character who’s good enough to be Donald Trump’s waifu is good enough to be my waifu.

     

    Supercool Tier

    These characters are so cool, that they all get some sweet artwork by yours truly! Woah!

    Spoiler

    10. Tenshi Hinanawi

    She has ten in her name, so she’s automatically ten. In fact, everything about her just screams "TEN!" Get it? Because she’s a loli now.

     

    9. Mima

    Maybe if she ranks highly she’ll come back some day.

     

    8. Letty Whiterock

    She’s fat, and that’s not a bad thing!

     

    7. Utsuho Reiuji

    She was a total team carry for me in Touhoumon. A real MVP of a Toohoo!

     

    6. Yukari Yakumo

    Yukari is basically the baddest bitch around, and she knows it! Way cooler than her stupid cats!

     

    5. Koishi Komeiji

    As the unofficial Koishi of SPUF, it’d be a shame if I put her any lower than this. But just believe me when I say that I wanted to put her lower than this.

     

    4. Mononobe no Futo

    The most radical Toohoo of them all. Probably likes pizza. Also has a disgusting amount of cute pictures of her on the internet, and I can’t seem to figure out why.

     

    Waifu Tier

    These ones are the best.

    Spoiler

    3. Yuyuko Saigyouji

    This Toohoo is quite a cute example of Ghost-Girl. She’s also not one to be trifled with, as she has the ability to kill you with a single thought! Yikes, I wouldn’t wanna have a run-in with her when she’s in a bad mood! As an added bonus, she has a nice pair of legs!

     

    2. Parsee Mizuhashi

    Guys, I am not kidding when I say that Parsee is the perfect Toohoo. She has two of the best songs in all of Touhou, and she has the silliest little scarf. And in spite of her grouchy attitude, her official art has the happiest face I ever did lay eyes on. She might have even been #1, but then she’d have no one to be jealous of. And being a creature of jealousy, she’d probably die.

     

    1. Hina Kagiyama

    Parsee may be perfect, but Hina is BEYOND perfect! Not only does she look stupid, but she also ACTS stupid with her constant spinning. Not to mention she has the cutest little face.

     

     

     

     

    And that concludes my Toohootacular Tier List! Y’know, I don’t wanna brag or anything, but I think my drawings are so stellar that I could make a couple million bucks in the hentai business! Anywho, if you happen to disagree with my list, you can file a complaint at www.idontgiveashit.com. Well, that’s all for today’s post! Remember to stay wild n’ wacky, my SPUFFY pals! I’ll see you all next time in whatever it is that my mind cooks up. But until then, this is LordAIDS Monkey signing out!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      This cannot be true, for if you had read the 100% accurate list, you would know that only some Toohoos are dogshit tier! Let's not be silly, friend!

    3. Kraszu
    4. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      Allow me to summarize: Reimu is dogshit, Kanako is a moldy piece of bread, and Parsee is waifu material! Everyone else falls somewhere on the Toohoos spectrum, but they all have one thing in common: they're all worse than Spinner Fag.

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