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LordAIDS Monkey

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LordAIDS Monkey last won the day on July 26

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About LordAIDS Monkey

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    Notably Dangerous
  • Birthday September 8

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    My house.
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    Money, food, low-quality content... Amongst other things that are far too embarrassing to speak of!

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  1. Time for a definitive list of the Top 10 Virtual Youtubers.

     

    Hey howdy ho, SPUFFriends. Have I got a treat for you! Today I bring my most thrilling tier lists to the world of Virtual Youtubers! I’m a bit on the uncultured side, however, so extensive research was needed prior to the making of this list.


     

    On my travels I learned two important things…

    1. Virtual Youtubers are racist sons of bitches.

    2. I don’t have the time to watch a bunch of 15+ minute videos.

     

    That being said, I didn’t actually do any real research, and have instead opted to do what any reasonable person would do. Select a couple dudes and dudettes and base my list solely off of my own assumptions. So here goes.

     

    The Definitive Virtual Youtuber Tier List

     

    Spoiler

     

    10. Kizuna Ai

    Kizuna-Ai.jpg

    She’s the most popular Virtual Youtuber by far. And just like all popular things, she’s terribly overrated and you’re all a bunch of band-wagoners if you like her.

     

    9. Natsumi Moe

    GwTIuCDS_400x400.jpg

    As someone who doesn’t know any Japanese, it’s nice to have one that speaks my language. However, after hearing her, I think that it’s for the best that I can’t understand what any of them are saying.

     

    8. Nekomasu

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    Why in God’s name does a loli-fox-girl thing have a man’s voice? I guess I’m not one to judge, so you’re cool in my book, Nekomasu. You do you.

     

    7. Nora Cat

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    This one has a pretty interesting story, at least. Turns out this cat-girl was actually a man this whole time. That’s a pretty big upgrade if you ask me. I don’t like cat-girls.

     

    6. ratboygenius

    ratboy.jpg

    I don’t even know what it even means to be a Virtual Youtuber, but ratboygenius qualifies. Probably. He’s cute, and he plays Minecraft? Kind of? I don’t know.

     

    5. Omega Sisters

    __omega_rei_and_omega_rio_omega_sisters_and_etc_drawn_by_yukiko_tesseract__fe26b491bda3ff7f0f467ff95ddae62d.png

    I really can’t stand the fucking blue one but the red one’s the best thing on the planet. Just kidding. I didn’t watch any of this, but trust me when I say the list is still definitive.

     

    4. Kabocha no Unchi

    _commission__pumpkin_girl_by_nonexistentworld-d9elbp8.png

    Yeah, this one’s not real. I made her up. But I gotta say that now I’m a pretty big fan of the idea. Somebody buy me some VR shit so I can make this a reality and become a star!

     

    3. Baacharu

    Horse-Funny-Teeth-Smiley-Face-Photo-For-Whatsapp.jpg

    This man is a goddamn horse and I can’t not respect him for that.

     

    2. Gyokuyoutama

    666923-ran_yakumo_200.jpg

    It’s really no secret that Gyokuyoutama is secretly a young and aspiring Virtual Youtuber. It's evident that he intends on overthrowing all the other ones so he and only he can be the greatest Virtual Youtuber of all time. But what he doesn't know is that one very powerful man stands in his way... and that man is...

     

    1. Will Smith

    A-74169-1516132408-1125.jpeg.jpg

    A lot of people seemed confused when Will Smith kicked off the Youtube Rewind of 2018. "What does this man have to do with Youtube?!" Many wondered... But not me! You see, it’s because I know that Will Smith is actually a Virtual Youtuber, and is quite popular. Of course, you probably didn’t know that due to his awesome persona that he uses to disguise himself. I don’t want to give too much away, but here’s a hint: He’s big, blue, and uncanny as fuck.

     

     

    And now you know who the best Virtual Youtubers are! If you think that I forgot anybody, then please tell me. (Not really though because I wouldn’t have any idea who the Hell you were talking about.) That’s all for this tier list. Goodbye for now.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      Japanese girls should know better than to say no-no words.

    3. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      Nyygaaa~

    4. TheOnlyGuyEver

      TheOnlyGuyEver

      God that line is so good.

  2. LordAIDS Monkey

    TIAM: Entertainment Stuff

    But if it's a live action movie, what's the point? Isn't all the appeal of Minecraft in it's gross blocky artstyle? Will a live-action Creeper just be a green dildo?
  3. LordAIDS Monkey

    If we only had three weapons per class....

    I'm gonna play kayogee's version of the game because it allows me to ruin the game for everyone. Scout: Shortstop, Madmilk, Wrap Assassin I hate the Scout, and because of this it is my firm belief that he shouldn't be allowed to do any meaningful damage because he's an annoying little shitter. And his play-style should reflect that. Soldier: Liberty Launcher, Gunboats, Market Gardner If I've learned anything in my days off TF2, it's that the Trolldier is the most popular loadout of all time. Well, what of we had a Soldier/Trolldier hybrid?! We can please all the Soldier mains! Pyro: Dragon's Fury, Shotgun, Hothand Afterburn has way too many counters so I say we cut Pyro's over-reliance on it. Only then can Pyro become the best class. Also, the Hothand because that's the best weapon in the game . Demoman: Bootlegger, Tide Turner, Persian Persuader Demoman is pretty cool as is, but I was thinking it would be cooler if we turned him into Pirateman by default. If you must have your explosives, the Loosecannon can be interchanged with the Bootlegger. Heavy: Brass Beast, Dalakohs Bar, Fists of Steel Heavy is a tanky dude and therefore his only choice of weapons should reflect that. With these, he could become the unstoppable Force he was always meant to be! Engineer: Widowmaker, Short Circuit, Gunslinger Let's also make it so ammo boxes don't give any metal, therefore making Engineer completely useless, as he should have been from the start. Medic: Blutsauger, Quick-Fix, Solemn Vow With this new change, the balance of TF2 will be flipped on its head! Certainly an exciting and welcome change to any game. Battle Medics, unite! Sniper: Sniper Rifle, SMG, Kukri Everybody already hates Sniper so I don't think I need to make any changes to his stock loadout to ruin the game. Spy: L'Etranger, Big Earner, Cloak and Dagger, Red Tape Recorder Let's just make it so Spy is invisible forever. Valve, please hire me.
  4. LordAIDS Monkey

    TIAM: General Gaming edition

    It's close enough to April 1st. They're pranking us.
  5. He has a cute nose. I should'a rubbed his instead.
  6. LordAIDS Monkey

    TIAM: General Gaming edition

    The whiny Smash fans won't have any of that until Waluigi gets in!
  7. Grookey FOREVER!

     

     

    So now I guess I'm stuck with this name for the next month. Luckily, I don't have any regrets.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. TheOnlyGuyEver

      TheOnlyGuyEver

      They call Grookey a chimp even though it has a tail. Just saying.

    3. Gyokuyoutama

      Gyokuyoutama

      In the time of chimpanzees I was a Grookey.

    4. LordAIDS Monkey

      LordAIDS Monkey

      Grookey ain't no chimp. In fact, it's a cave man! I suspect the final evolution is gonna be Fred Flintstone.

  8. Hey howdy ho, SPUFFriends! It’s Valentine’s Day today, and you know what that means! Love is in the air! And do you know what I’d love? Some new content for TF2, that’s what! And as the old saying goes, “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!” Lucky for me and the rest of humanity, I am by myself on this lonesome Valentine’s Day! So today, I shall bring all you good folks a brand spankin’ new TF2 update idea! Today’s update is a sequel update to last year’s Valentine’s Update, “The Better Matchmaking Update.” The only way to follow up an update like that, of course, is with “The Best Matchmaking Update!”. So that’s the update that I propose for today! We live in a world where uninspired sequels reign supreme, so I hope you’ll all enjoy MY uninspired sequel! So sit back, relax, and enjoy this lengthy backstory! ----- ----- (tl:dr version: A drunk succubus shows up at the mercenaries' house after getting fired from her job.) Yikes, the Matchmaker’s back in town? That sure spells danger for the mercs. Luckily, it seems she’s out of a job and totally a non-threat this time around. Unluckily though, it seems there’s a much bigger threat this time! You see, Lladnar and Mr. Raingallows had been secretly plotting some contingency plans to fight the energy crisis that is facing Hell! Typically, Incubus Inc. takes great pride in the fact that they only take souls from consensual encounters, however, Mr. Raingallows and Lladnar have developed a plan that goes against their code of honor… namely a gigantic sexbot army that will forcefully drain the souls from unwilling victims, including children! The Matchmaker needs the mercs’ help to put a stop to it, and maybe get her job back along the way! To help the Matchmaker, players must enter the new map, mvm_incinc. This map takes place at the factory, and is just like any other MvM map: hordes of annoying (sex) robots that instagib by looking at you funny. Players must defend the door to the human world. (The bomb hatch.) However, this map also comes with loads of fun gimmicks! This map is HUGE. Bigger than Bigrock, even! As such, there needs to be a special method of travel: DOORS! The factory’s loaded with special doors that act as automatic teleporters, as seen in Scooby Doo chase scenes. These doors turn on and off depending on how many (sex) robots are destroyed within a set radius. (Sex) robots are capable of spawning from these doors if they make it far enough, preventing you from just locking down the main entrance. If too many (sex) robots make it past, the doors activate, pushing the spawn point further up and giving you less room to work with. These spawns fortunately don’t carry over across waves, always resetting. "I am about to revolutionize the sex industry. And when I do, even the great Miss Match is gonna be working for me!" -Lladnar And of course, on the final wave an extra special (sex) robot will spawn in, piloted by Raingallows himself! This will be the only (sex) robot of the wave, but it’ll be bigger and badder than any seen before. It’ll be immune to all debuffs and crowd control, so you better be quick with dishing out damage! He’ll slowly walk down the path, unleashing several devastating attacks along the way, including but not limited to his shaft cannon and a big heaping batch of bombs! However, the most annoying aspect of this fight just might be Raingallows’ croney, as Lladnar will lurk the map invisible, much like a Spy, dealing massive damage to isolated targets that don’t notice in time. Good luck taking down Raingallows without your DPS! If you manage to overcome this challenging opponent, you’ll be rewarded with a new stock melee reskin, The Dildon’t! (It’s exactly what it sounds like) Of course, along with this new map, there will be several new items for you to spruce up your characters, so allow us to go through those together! We’d also receive quite a few exciting weapons and cosmetics in this update. Mostly a bunch of hearts and lewd stuff, but I’ll go ahead and describe a few just so we’re clear on what I mean. An all new cosmetic item, The Succubuddy. This item will cause a miniature succubus to fly around, following your merc all around town. Another new cosmetic item, The Blunderpants! Which allows you to run around in your undies, with four different styles! Classic, Hearts, The Dark Knight, and The Smile Bringer! (Scout’s will be piss stained, regardless of style.) Another new cosmetic item, The Cardiovascular Bonnet, which allows the mercs to wear a dumb heart on their head. Yet another new cosmetic item, The Buckaroo’s Bulge. Everything’s bigger in Texas. And a new weapon reskin, The Heart Attack! Which is just a reskin of the Panic Attack, except it has hearts on it. Well, that’s it for the update my friends! But what’s this? It’s not quite over yet! As an AIDS Monkey first, this update shall feature an epilogue! So here goes! ----- Upon defeating Raingallows, the story continues, with the Matchmaker being rundown by her ex-boss, furious with her actions ruining his plans. Try as she might, she couldn’t quite escape him, eventually being cornered. “It doesn’t have to be this way!” Pleaded the Matchmaker. “I have no choice! Times have changed! Consensual sex isn’t enough anymore!” “But violating children!?” “I’ll rape A THOUSAND children before I let this company die, and I’ll silence anyone who gets in my way!”Raingallows delivered a savage bitchslap to the Matchmaker, knocking her off her feet. Just as all hope seemed lost, a siren wailed, the walls falling away to reveal the mercenaries, all watching with a smug look on their faces. “Huhuhu, I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes! Let’s watch my favorite part again...shall we?” Scout pressed a button, replaying his favorite part. “I’ll rape A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” “I’ll rape A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” And then help arrived! I hope you're happy mercenaries, you've destroyed this company. Incubus Incorporated is dead. Where will everyone get their sex now? The energy crisis will only get worse because of YOU! -Mr. Raingallows As the FBI dragged Raingallows away, the Matchmaker, in an uncharacteristic act of gratitude, gave all the mercenaries a great big hug! It was at this moment that the demon world discovered that hugs and affection were a far stronger power source than sex and souls, creating an industrial revolution for all of demonr-kind! Everybody cheered, happy at the development. With the newfound power, Scout decided to play his favorite part...one last time. “I’ll rape A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” “Huhuhu, you know what? That didn’t seem like such a bad idea to me!” And now that is really the end of the Best Matchmaking Update! Of course, with a name like the Best Matchmaking Update, you can expect some quality changes to the matchmaking system (removing it entirely!) That’s it for now, but remember to tune in next year for a Valentine’s Update, where we’ll go way back and check out the Matchmaker’s college years in a prequel update that nobody really asked for!
  9. LordAIDS Monkey

    Doodles on my mediocre drawing tablet

    TOGE the Videogame confirmed.
  10. LordAIDS Monkey

    In which we post the randomest shit we find on YouTube.

    That's nice and dandy, but with all these unnecessary Switch ports, when are we getting Toohoos in Smash Bros? Afterall, I would love me some more anime swordsmen!
  11. Globglogabgalab is the best meme of 2018 and all time.
  12. LordAIDS Monkey

    The 12 Posts of Smissmas!

    Day 12 is out, finally! Today I bring one final update for 2018, THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE SMISSMAS UPDATE! This time around, I tried to make the update as realistic to a Valve update as possible. That being said, it's shit. Day 12 is a disappointment. Sorry guys, merry Smissmas! (Or whatever holiday you celebrate!)
  13. What the Hell? Is that Crazy Frog's dead brother? If so, that is the coolest thing ever.
  14. LordAIDS Monkey

    Doodles on my mediocre drawing tablet

    But where's all the Holly Jolly Christmas drawings?!
  15. LordAIDS Monkey

    The 12 Posts of Smissmas!

    Valve has truly hit an all-time low this year. Maybe if they didn't waste all their development time on Mannpower, we could have nice things.
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