LordCOVID Monkey

Flamingro!

Our first leak is the ever so tall bird Pokemon, Flamingro. Flamingro is the tallest Pokemon to date, reaching heights of 10,000 ft! Woah! Let it be known that this is no Dynamax form, and that Flamingro is this tall in his base form. It’s a water and flying type, y’know, because it’s a flamingo. Someone tell this bird to get its head outta the clouds!

Tigirth!

Complimenting the tall Flamingro, we have its version exclusive counterpart, Tigirth! Tigirth is the heaviest Pokemon known to man, weighing in at 5,000 pounds. Tigirth’s favorite food are donuts, specifically the glazed kind. In fact. Tigirth’s special move makes use of donuts, which heals him and raises his defenses through the roof! He’d be a normal type, because fat things are always normal types in Pokemon.

Pigloo!

Next up is the all new ice-type Pokemon, Pigloo! Pigloo is quite the defensive juggernaut due to its hardened ice body! However, Pigloo possesses a very low speed stat, because as we all know, igloos don’t move. An interesting tidbit of information about Pigloo in the Pokedex would state that when a Pigloo dies, its body makes great shelter for other Pokemon who are out in the cold! So even in death, Pigloo would make a great partner!

Cobroth!

Now here’s my personal favorite of the new additions this gen! Cobroth, the all new poison and fire type Pokemon! This danger noodle has taken shelter in a smokin’ hot bowl of soup, and will leap out at anyone who dare goes near it! Perfect camouflage! This little guy packs quite a venomous bite, making it a poison type. And it’s a fire type because THIS SOUP IS HOT!

Scribbill!

This next Pokemon is named Scribbill, which is clearly a pun on the words “scribble” and “bill”. Duh. Anywho, it’s a piece of shit drawing of a duck, possessing the normal type. No one knows how it came to be, but legends say that it was a child’s drawing that came to life some day through some fantasy magic bullshit. Quite a well thought out origin story for a well thought out Pokemon design!

Umbrawlla

Our next Pokemon is Umbrawlla, the all new ghost and fighting type Pokemon based off of everyone’s favorite Japanese legend! This spooky guy has two forms. “Fold Up” is its first form, where it’d be simply a folded up umbrella dude. When it uses an attack, however, it activates its “Square Up” form, wherein its umbrella self opens up, revealing its two frightening fists! What a kooky and spooky new addition to the game!

Kukucrock!

This Pokemon is quite interesting indeed, named Kukucrock! Though it may be hard to tell based on my shitty drawings, its name is clearly derived from the fact that it is a crocodile and cuckoo clock hybrid! The little birdie and the croc have formed a symbiotic relationship wherein the birdie cleans the croc’s teeth, while also getting a free meal!

Busbee!

Busbee would be an all new ground and bug type Pokemon! Based on the somewhat-famous mining town of Bisbee, Arizona, this bee is sure to be a busy fella. It makes a living going into the honey mines, collecting tasty honey nuggets for its queen! It’s also worth mentioning that in Sword and Shield, there would be an all new honey mine location where you can capture this little rascal, as well as other bee pokemon.

Sgnome!

Nearing the end of the list, we have the ice and grass type Pokemon, Sgnome! I really have no idea what the fuck this ugly-ass piece of shit is supposed to be, but judging by the name, its some kind of snow gnome. With its marvelous pine tree hat, it is granted a grass typing, and with its snowy beard, it has an ice type! Wow!

Giraffro!

The final Pokemon that I have to leak is the all new and all cool electric type, Giraffro! This hilarious hooved hooligan is fittingly named due to its afro, that was a result of all the electricity traveling between its horns. Giraffro would make a good addition to any team, and hopefully, will become Generation 8’s most popular Pokemon! Afterall, we all know what happens to the most popular Pokemon… THEY MAKE IT INTO SMASH! And with a face like that, who wouldn’t want to see this guy in Smash Bros?

10. Kizuna Ai

She’s the most popular Virtual Youtuber by far. And just like all popular things, she’s terribly overrated and you’re all a bunch of band-wagoners if you like her.

9. Natsumi Moe

As someone who doesn’t know any Japanese, it’s nice to have one that speaks my language. However, after hearing her, I think that it’s for the best that I can’t understand what any of them are saying.

8. Nekomasu

Why in God’s name does a loli-fox-girl thing have a man’s voice? I guess I’m not one to judge, so you’re cool in my book, Nekomasu. You do you.

7. Nora Cat

This one has a pretty interesting story, at least. Turns out this cat-girl was actually a man this whole time. That’s a pretty big upgrade if you ask me. I don’t like cat-girls.

6. ratboygenius

I don’t even know what it even means to be a Virtual Youtuber, but ratboygenius qualifies. Probably. He’s cute, and he plays Minecraft? Kind of? I don’t know.

5. Omega Sisters

I really can’t stand the fucking blue one but the red one’s the best thing on the planet. Just kidding. I didn’t watch any of this, but trust me when I say the list is still definitive.

4. Kabocha no Unchi

Yeah, this one’s not real. I made her up. But I gotta say that now I’m a pretty big fan of the idea. Somebody buy me some VR shit so I can make this a reality and become a star!

3. Baacharu

This man is a goddamn horse and I can’t not respect him for that.

2. Gyokuyoutama

It’s really no secret that Gyokuyoutama is secretly a young and aspiring Virtual Youtuber. It's evident that he intends on overthrowing all the other ones so he and only he can be the greatest Virtual Youtuber of all time. But what he doesn't know is that one very powerful man stands in his way... and that man is...

1. Will Smith

A lot of people seemed confused when Will Smith kicked off the Youtube Rewind of 2018. "What does this man have to do with Youtube?!" Many wondered... But not me! You see, it’s because I know that Will Smith is actually a Virtual Youtuber, and is quite popular. Of course, you probably didn’t know that due to his awesome persona that he uses to disguise himself. I don’t want to give too much away, but here’s a hint: He’s big, blue, and uncanny as fuck.