Leaderboard

Because all of you were begging for this. [spoiler2]Chapter 1 "Guys, must we do this?" Rammire tiptoed into the room. He took a look both ways. "You know, I'm really not supposed to be doing this. If Commander finds out . . " DualJay put a finger up to his mouth and shushed him. "That's why Commander isn't going to find out. Now trust me. This is going to be funny." Rammire, DualJay, and Idiot Cube fumbled around for the light switch. The room was decorated with various pictures of girls, completely in black and white. They finally turned on the lights, revealing Huff sleeping quietly in his bed. They tried to compose themselves as they grabbed a sharpie and started drawing mustaches and goaties on all the girls. "Wait wait, they're not done yet." Idiot Cube drew a top hat one of the posters. "There, now it's a masterpiece!" Rammire and DualJay tried not to laugh. They started drawing top hats on the other pictures, unaware the Huff was starting to wake up behind them. Huff sat up on the bed and saw what the three had done to his pictures. "You know --" "Bah!" Rammire jumped up. "Huff's awake!" He dashed out of the room. DualJay and Idiot Cube stayed to hear what Huff had to say. "I'd still hit that." ------------------- Everyone gathered in the dining room foor breakfast. Well, almost everyone. A few people stayed behind to avoid the inane babbling that went on at every meal, like Designator and Raison d'etre. They all formed groups at the three tables, with an admin seated at the head of each table. Commander sat at the head of the left-most table. He took a glance to his right at Binary's table. He noticed Binary wasn't wearing a hat. Now was his chance to show him up. Commander put a fedora on top of his head and grinned. He looked to the right again and saw that Binary suddenly had a trilby on his head. Commander didn't stop grinning. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a folded berret, which he then sat upon his fedora. He took another look at Binary and saw the Binary was now wearing a cloche on his trilby. Commander glared at him. He took a bag off of his shoulder and unzipped it. He took out a fez and sat it on top of the beret. Binary looked over and noticed Commander was staring at him. He reached under his chair and sat a baseball cap on top of his cloche. Commander's face became red with rage. He reached into the bag, but there wasn't another hat in there. "What? I thought I packed more hats than this!" "Hey, Commander." Just a Gigolo sat down with Ikea Boy and Achilles. "We saw a bag with hats in your room. Hope you don't mind we borrowed them." "You what?!" Commander took another look at Binary, who was now wearing a beanie on top of his baseball cap. "Note to self: Make a new rule. Anyone who takes Commander's hats gets banned five ever." ------------------- Grobag sat on his bed, cradling a little sloth in his arms. He hummed quiet lullaby. Simon entered the room and took off his shoes. "Hey, Grobag. I'm back. I --" He noticed Grobag cradling the sloth. "Dude, why do you keep these sloths in here? You know we can't have pets." Grobag just pleasantly smiled. "That doesn't stop Corvette and Doopliss from keeping LadyBernkastel." Grobag gently scratched the top of the sloth's head. "Besides, I know how to properly take care of them. Binary and Commander will never have to know, because the sloths will never be in the way." "Fine." Simon took off his jacket and set it down on the chair at his desk. "Just keep them off my bed. I swear, every time one of those sloths get on my bed, my blankets stink of algae." "You worry too much, Simon. I have a complex system of making sure sloths don't get on your bed. Watch." Grobag looked at Simon's bed. He stared at it for a good ten seconds before reporting. "There aren't any sloths on your bed." Simon tried to hold back, but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Alright, Grobag. I'll work with you. But if I ever want a cat in the future, remember that you owe me." Simon opened the door and started to walk out. "I'll be back in a few. I'm joining a few of the guys for a game of Mann vs Machine." "Have fun, Simon." When Simon left the room, Grobag stood up, still cradling the sloth. He took it over to Simon's bed and started playing with it. "Now, remember, Slothie. Do we tell uncle Simon that we were playing on his bed? No we don't." Slothie responded with a yelp. "That's right. We don't."[/spoiler2] Next chapter won't be posted until I finish a shipping chart, which will be . . . whenever I feel like it. probablytomorrow

Uuuuuuugh

"few. I joining a few of the guys for a game of Mann vs Machine."

15 bruhs. I don't like having to scroll a fuckton of times just to read something 3/4 of the way down a page when I'm checking a thread.

What? Two chapters in one day? [spoiler2]Chapter 10 Dr. Evil Brain fled the subway station in a panic. “Any second now, part of the city should explode, at least.” He looked in the direction that the subway train was headed. The sound of a boom rang through the sky, and buildings in the distance started toppling over. “Not a big issue. I can still raise the dongers of these people with a little skill.” He started to turn and run again, until he saw the Maidsassins approaching him. “I guess you thought you could hide by staying in the most obvious spot.” Moby snapped his arm, and his chainsaw appeared. Bowie reached under his dress and brandished two knives. Doopliss reached into a pocket on his dress and pointed a pistol at Dr. Evil Brain. “Get him!” Moby and Bowie started dashing at Evil Brain, while Doopliss stood back and tried to pick him off. Dr. Evil Brain bolted into an alleyway and ran down multiple winding paths. The Maidsassins quickly lost him. “Don’t let him get too far ahead.” Doopliss ran down one path, leaving the others for Moby and Bowie. ------------------- Rammite, Cuba, and Simon hid behind a building. Bullets zipped by them. Simon grabbed Rammite by the collar of his shirt. “How smart of you. They weren’t going to attack us, but you insisted you attack them. And now look at us!” Rammite smacked Simon’s hand away. “We need to kill them. As long as they’re working for Evil Brain, he has an advantage.” “Too many of our men have been killed already.” Cuba took a look from the corner of the building. The rebel army was already starting to dwindle. “They’re going to overtake us if we don’t find something to do quickly.” From the other side of the alleyway, they were approached by Huff, Guy, Raison, and John Caveson. Huff extended his hand to Rammite. “You’re the leader of the rebel militia, correct?” “I am. Name’s Rammite. Who are you?” “Just call me Huff. I work for the mafia under Don Stamda. He told me to work with rebel leaders until our crisis has been averted.” Huff bowed and at that motion, the others bowed too. “The mafia is under your command until the enemy has been defeated.” Rammite pointed in the direction of the mod army. “Go out there and help fight the war. Any weapon you find on the ground is yours to use. I expect you’ll make good use of it.” “As you wish, Rammite.” The four sprinted out to the battlefield and began to fight. ------------------- Dr. Evil Brain looked ahead and looked behind. No one seemed to have found him yet. He continued walking forward, being careful to look in all directions. In the distance, he saw this alleyway led to a lake. “That must be the lake in the middle of the park.” He rested his hand on the ground. After a few seconds of looking back and forth, he started walking again. “I should be able to get there in about a minute. They won’t find me before then.” He started running. Just as he passed another alley, he was stopped by a familiar voice. “Don’t go any farther, Dr. Evil Brain, or I’ll shoot.” Doopliss was holding a gun to Dr. Evil Brain’s head. “Your hiding skills aren’t even close to your ‘stuffing a train with bombs’ skills.” Dr. Evil Brain faced Doopliss. “You aren’t going to just shoot me now? I thought you were an assassin.” “I haven’t been a murderer for eight years, Evil Brain. And I’m not going to start again.” Doopliss lowered his gun a little. “You submit now, and I’ll lead you out of the city in quiet. The others will think you’re dead, and you can live peacefully somewhere else.” “That’s very thoughtful of you Doopliss . . . unfortunately . . .” Evil Brain reached for his pistol and shot Doopliss with one quick motion. Doopliss plopped to the ground, writhing in pain. His blood formed a puddle around his stomach. “I’m not leaving until this whole damn city raises its dongers.” Dr. Evil Brain started walking way, until he heard a shriek from behind. He turned to see Bowie knelt down next to Doopliss’s now lifeless body. “D-D-D-Doopliss! What ha – who did – Please wake up!” Bowie looked down the alleyway and saw Dr. Evil Brain still holding his gun. Bowie became enraged, but the more enraged he became, the more he started crying. Over time his crying evolved into laughter. His voice became more and more deranged. Dr. Evil Brain tried to shoot him, but he couldn’t seem to get a good aim at him. “Come on, Dr. Evil Brain!” Bowie’s voice now sounded like the voice of a madman. “Having trouble with that gun?” Bowie lifted up his hand, and more knives than he could possibly hide in his dress started floating by his head. Dr. Evil Brain dashed down the alley as the knives flew straight for him. “Come on, Evil Brain! Fight me!” Dr. Evil Brain entered another alleyway as the knives zipped right past him. ------------------- The militia’s numbers were dwindling down to the twenties. Rammite, Cuba, and Simon were fighting alongside them, hoping to drive down the mods in short time. “Don’t stop firing!” Rammite yelled. “We only ha – Ach!” Rammite was shot in the neck. Cuba and Simon rushed to his side. “Rammite! Get up!” Simon knelt down by Rammite and started shaking him. Cuba started looking for the wound. Both he and Simon were shot down to the ground by stray bullets in their stomachs. Cuba took a look over the battlefield. Only the mods were still fighting back. They had taken down the entire rebel army within fifteen minutes of the fight beginning. The mod army started making their way towards business district of the city, trampling the corpses of the fallen rebels in their path. They flooded the alleyways, looking for their leader before someone gets the better of him. ------------------- Bowie followed Dr. Evil Brain into an apartment complex. When he saw the Evil Brain was already nowhere to be found, Bowie sent his knives to fly around the room erratically, killing a few people living in the apartments and not finding a single trace of Evil Brain. After a moment of searching, he heard footsteps running up the stairs. He followed the sound until he eventually found himself at the room of the building with Dr. Evil Brain standing at the edge of the building. Dr. Evil Brain dropped his gun down the side of the building. “Come on, Bowie. If we’re going to fight, let’s fight like men. No magic knives. No guns. Just our fists.” “Fuck that.” Bowie sent a large number of knives flying at Evil Brain. Evil Brain tried to step to the side and dodge them, but he started losing his balance. Seeing a chance, Bowie dashed at Evil Brain and tried to knock him off the building. Just before they collided, Evil Brain regained his balance and stepped out of the way. Bowie couldn’t stop himself from moving until it was too late. He fell off the side of the building and died on impact with the ground. Dr. Evil Brain laughed and started to walk away, but as he looked back toward the entrance to the apartment, he was smacked with the butt of a gun and knocked to the ground. Moby knelt down and held his chainsaw up to Evil Brain’s neck. The Binocrat, the Commander, and Rin all held their guns to his head. “I hope you’ve made amends with Heimerdinger, Evil Brain.” The Binocrat saw the mods swarming the alleyways and pointed his gun towards the door. “I bet you wish this was over. There is just one small issue, however. You see, when you sent my train in the opposite direction, did you do the same thing with the other train?” Moby glared at Evil Brain. “Maybe we did. What does it matter?” “Well, I planned for the possibility that me revealing my plans would lead to you foiling them, so the other train that was moving was also filled with explosives. I also had it set to be in just the right spot that, if its movement were reversed, it would be in the center of the city just in time to raise you dongers.” The Commander started panicking and looked over to the center of the park. “But when will it get there?!” “Any second now.” ------------------- Bowie woke up and found himself in a lush, green field. All of the plants had been replaced with candy and unicorns roamed the wilderness. “What the hell . . .” “Bowie!” Bernkastel ran over and put an arm around Bowie shoulders. Shortly after, Doopliss did the same. “Bernkastel? Doopliss? You’re both alive?! But how? Where are we?” “You should know where we are! This is Pyroland! This is where every SPUFer goes with they die!” Bernkastel handed him a cup of tea. “Bernkastel and I were just having a tea party. Come join us!” Doopliss walked back over to the blanket he and Bernkastel were sitting on. “But I . . . No!” Bowie became enraged. He started stomping around. “This is not an ending to a story! This is some stupid joke! Narrator! Who the hell are you? What’s with this shitty ending?!” Bowie started tossing his knives at the ground. “What a god damn cop out! I’m done with this story!” Bowie then proceeded to walk out of the story . . . wait, what? End.[/spoiler2] And that's the end. Thanks to everyone who read it. Stay tuned for the next one.