TheOnlyGuyEver

Bethesda was fuckin lame for like the first 40 minutes sucking their own dicks on a shitty card game. But then they got into the beef, and Fallout 76 looks neat and extremely griefable, but I'm not a Fallout guy. Also new IP and Skyrim 2. Best part was Todd Howard calling an audience member a degenerate.

The new samurai Dark Souls game looks interesting. Metro Exodus looks good just like the ones before. Microsoft had an entire segment to announce that they figured out how to make "select titles" load faster on their dogshit hardware. Cuphead is already a fantastic game, now it's getting a 3 player DLC thing, pretty sweet. Battletoads. And FUCK...I know I shouldn't get my hopes up for Halo after the absolute disaster that was Halo 5 (4 was alright, Reach was the last "classic" Halo), but goddamnit, the fact that the new Halo title is called Halo INFINITE and not Halo 6 really gets my fucking hopes up after Microsoft policed ElDewrito and subsequently dropped hints about a new "classic Halo experience". Like, look at the armor we see in the trailer (leg and helmet), it is 100% ABSOLUTELY NOT Halo 4 or Halo 5 armor. Damn damn damn, don't do this to me Microsoft... Even if it IS Halo 6, if that shit plays and feels like classic Halo, damn, I'm buying.

Cheesy mid-90s kids show rapper Claire: Probably rapping about internet safety or the importance of hydration. Rad!

I had a SUPER COOL dream that I was an ASTRONAUT helping to terraform MARS! I also used ants to mine tiny crystals.

I miss the days of Halo 4 "leaked gameplay" clickbait.

I sleep until Nintendo. Though really I'll probably check out the rest of the next few days. EA is always just uninteresting for me.

You're garbage at chess.

#1. Chess

Dude what a WILD fuckin dream last night. Felt like I lived a whole week. So it starts off with me camping with my brother and my dad. Pretty normal. Except we're camping on some cliff, which is not normal. And we also have like no food. So we go out to hunt food, and we see a hedgehog. We surround it and I fuckin grab it with my bare hands and catch a fistful of quills, ouch. We ate the hedgehog. Then later we were hiking, and we were trying to find something in particular. The landscape was now a wide prairie, dotted with lakes, ponds, and pine trees. I climbed to the very top of a tree to get a better view, to see if I could find whatever it was we were looking for. From the top of the tree I look into this one big lake, with a small river connected to it. I see this BIG ASS fuckin MONSTER submerged in the lake; a body like a brontosaurus, a neck like a damn softshell turtle, and a large, oval-ish head like a tadpole, but with the facial features of a full frog. I'm like "oh fuck we gotta fuckin leave", and in that same moment, a bronzed and cool-looking helicopter pilot somewhere sensed a disturbance in the force, and quickly flew over to help us escape, with the aid of his 3 chimps. After that I spent like 2 in-dream days at a hotel in a mall, but the room had a balcony looking out off a cliff. I was basically just in a fucking dream waiting room for 2 days of the dream. Watched The Incredibles while I was there though, and I also, shit you not, vividly remember thinking about how this dream was pretty badass so far and how it'd be cool to post it on SubSPUF later. I might've even posted it in the dream on dream-SubSPUF. Anyways, I leave the weird mall-hotel, and now I'm back at school, and it's the last day of school. Pretty normal last day of school; played cards, dicked around, etc. But then I'm leaving, and I get out to my bus, and it looks normal, right? But then I get inside the bus, and it's literally twice as small in there. Like one person per two seats, even barely. I'm like "hey, what the fuck is this?" to the busdriver and he's just responds "I dunno man, this is the bus they gave me today, I know it's shitty." So whatever, I sit down in the front so that way I won't have to deal with pushing past everyone else's legs which will inevitably be sticking out from the rows since there's no leg room in this tiny ass "that one episode of Magic Schoolbus where they shrink down and go inside the kid's bloodstream" bus. Everyone else comes on the bus and are also like "hey, this is fuckin shitty, what the fuck." I reach by bus stop and leave, and wake up.

Free game for the first 100 hours. Get it now and you'll never have it pay: https://store.steampowered.com/app/823130/Totally_Accurate_Battlegrounds/ Was made in 2 hours as yearly late april fools joke.

I imagine you're good at timed essay writing.

Half Life 3 or final TF2 comic? Battle for the ages.

(Thanks to who made this, I've been saving it)

Good feel. Please no more quantum teleporter...

I mean it did but it's shitty cause it has no online function outside japanese versions, which even then is paid. BosS is still on the fuckin grind to this day though, on flipnote 3D:

Only the real OGs remember.

Creepy girl. Let's call her Abigail: Ooohh she creepin':

I'll go first: Fiscal responsibility.

Fallnite

I don't like Fallout.