TheOnlyGuyEver

Morals of Lesser Known Fairy Tales:
 
The Brave Little Tailor: If you are an arrogant asshole, it will all work out.
Godfather Death: Death is the only thing that's fair, and fair means making lots off of people's deaths.
Old Sultan: Your best friends are the ones that will con your family for you
Snow White and Rose Red: You can't trust those money grubbing dwarves
King Thrushbeard: It doesn't matter if a beautiful woman has a bad personality, as long as you are willing to mindbreak her.
Allerleirauh: Incest is bad
How Six Men Got in the World: Germans invented the idea of a sentai team
The Spirit in the Bottle: Getting lots of money from a demon is okay as long as you spend it on your education.
Bearskin: Getting lots of money from a demon is okay as long as you don't break the rules.
The Grave-Mound: Getting lots of money from a demon is okay as long as you can trick him.
Donkey Cabbages: Nothing is impossible, as long as you keep lucking into the right magic items
The Hare and the Hedgehog: They really do all look alike and they will use that fact to defraud you
The Wedding of Mrs. Fox: Women care only about what's in your pants (i.e. your tails)
 

Came to the realization that my favorite instrument is the timpani. It really does make every piece of music better.

Came back home late at night and thought that someone dumped a bunch of garbage on my driveway since as I was pulling up I could see four lumps.  As I got closer it became apparent that these were rabbits and they were strangely hesitant to get out of the way of my car (I only slowly pulled up to not hit any.)  Eventually they did get out of the way, but even when they bounded off they didn't just get out of the drive way immediately but rather bounced around in a circle for a few seconds first.
 
I feel like I've crossed the rabbit mafia or had the curse of El-ahrairah placed upon me or something.

All I ask for is a mouse that doesn't start double clicking in under 2 years but noooo I'm just not good enough for that it seems like

hap nu yer

hap nu yer

hap nu yer

Merry merry Christmas everyone!

Merry merry Christmas everyone!

I voted for the first time today and then went to McDonalds and got a big cheeseburger.
 
I love America!

I voted for the first time today and then went to McDonalds and got a big cheeseburger.
 
I love America!

Drinking some apple juice. Life is good 

With Flash being taken behind the shed out back at the end of the year, it really does feel like the golden age of the internet is officially over, with the internet now turning entirely into a corporate hegemony with no attempt for anything that isn't monetized.
Is this how the cowboys felt? 

I learned how to whistle! It's fun.

Color=272727

I can't not read that sheep pokemon's name as Wololo

It's April 3rd this isn't funny anymore guys.

It's April 3rd this isn't funny anymore guys.

I had to generate a 16-team tournament for a business eSports class, and I named all the teams after SPUFers! https://challonge.com/2h6nvw58 (Don't blame me for how you placed, blame my nickel.) 

Legitimate question: how do jello shots work? Like do you slurp the jello outta the shot glass? Do you mash up the jello so it's not completely solid?

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you're all having a very merry day.

Had a good birthday spent at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm and Zoological Park. Saw every single species of crocodilian on the planet (except for 2/3 of the proposed species of African Dwarf Crocodile because whether or not it is warranted to split the species into three separate ones is still pending, as well as one of the now TWO species of Slender-Snouted Crocodile, as just as recent as two days ago it was finally and officially decided that the species actually consists of the West African Slender-Snouted Crocodile and the Central African Slender-Snouted Crocodile) Couldn't have asked for more.

I got voted to give the graduation speech for my Master’s class :D 
 

Since Cactus just reminded me of it, and I'm such a NICE GUY, here's the entirety of the Jag Whacking thread, which I archived: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1V5tAzJj7evJ7XWd8vF7Ze0W2PQhhhtCc
 
Never ask me for anything ever again.