LordCOVID Monkey

10. Marie Antoinette

Starting the list, we have the late and great queen of France, Marie Antoinette! She tends to receive hate for stirring up a lot of commotion during her rule, but this should not detract from all the great things she did! Though, being a history know-nothing, I can’t recall any of it. (Other than she had something to do with cake.) Rest assured, she’s pretty alright, and totally deserving to go down as the 10th best person in all of history.

9. Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi is a pretty upstanding citizen, telling those silly Brits to back off when nobody else would! He reminds me of the American hero, George Washington, who unfortunately didn’t make the list. But why did Gandhi place higher than Washington? Because he told them punks to back off without having to hurt any of them! Good ol’ Gandhi!

8.Edwin Perkins

In 1921, this man had made history, perhaps bringing to the world one of the greatest and most innovative things of all time! Powdered Kool-Aid! While the drink itself is nothing spectacular, the nostalgia hits hard! Oh yeah, indeed.

6 and 7. Colonel Sanders & Wendy Thomas

I couldn’t decide which one of these was the better mascot, so they’ve tied for 6th and 7th place. On one hand, Colonel Sanders has a finger-lickin’ good secret recipe, and on the other hand, Wendy is quite a bitch and one should never try to engage in an argument with her. (She’ll totallly win.) Together, they make a totally unbeatable historical duo. (And a pretty damn good ship!)

5.Calvin Coolidge

When it comes to American presidents, good ol’ Double C is by far the greatest of them all. He may be forgotten by pretty much everyone, but that is only befitting of a humble man such as himself! Coolidge, though you were the 30th president, you’ll always be #1 in my eyes.

4. Medusa

Medusa kinda gets a bad rep, because she’s supposedly “hideous and wicked”. But know this! Medusa did nothing wrong, and she can’t possibly be hideous or wicked, because she has snakes for hair! Medusa also gets bonus points for being a variant of Snake-Girl. A really great historical figure overall.

3. Indiana Jones

Now, Dr. Jones is a pretty smart dude. He goes on all sorts of wacky adventures where he proves his worth, beating a bunch of the WORST PEOPLE IN ALL OF HISTORY (The Nazis). However, due to his unfortunate fear of snakes, he gets a few points taken off. But #3 isn’t that bad at all! Well done, Indy!

2. You

That’s right, my SPUFFriend! YOU! This may come as a bit of a shock, but I personally believe that you, and only you, are the second best person in all of history! So go brag to all your friends that you’re second best, because you’ve earned it! Unfortunately for you, you can’t be the #1 best, because that position belongs to...

1. Paul Bunyan

Paul Bunyan is, quite literally, the biggest name in all of history. All pale in comparison to his mighty stature and heroic deeds, such as chopping wood and adopting a pet ox. Some may say that he isn’t historical, but is rather a character from fantasy. And to that I say, “phooey!” Paul Bunyan did, and still does live to this day! And he’s better than you.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

Dog Shit Tier

These Toohoos are basically the worst of the worst. If you like any of them, then you need to find some better ones, because they sure ain’t here.

Trash Tier

These Toohoos are pretty bad for a number of reasons, but it’s at least ok to pity them for how lame they are.

Moldy Bread Tier

These Toohoos have a bunch of flaws, but unlike the other, lower tiers, they at least each have a redeeming quality or two.

PC-98 Tier

These poor souls are all forgotten, but fear not, for ol’ AIDS Monkey remembered them!

Forgettable Tier

These Toohoos are all just plain forgettable. Also, if by any chance I forgot to put any characters on this list, just assume they fall in here somewhere.

Just-Below Acceptable Tier

These Toohoos just aren’t quite good enough to make the cut for whatever reason. In my professional opinion, it is ok to like these ones as long as they aren’t your favorite.

Acceptable Tier

These Toohoos are nothing special, but now we’re at least finally reaching the Toohoos it’s ok to fawn over (or whatever it is you like to do to your Toohoos!)

Cool Tier:

Now we’re talking! All Toohoos beyond this point are all fantastic choices for a favorite!

Rumia Tier

Rumia has special needs. One of which is having her own tier.

Spectacular Tier

These are the top-of-the-class Toohoos! Give these Toohoos lots of love. They deserve it.

Supercool Tier

These characters are so cool, that they all get some sweet artwork by yours truly! Woah!

Waifu Tier

These ones are the best.

10. Captain Toad (Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker)

Kicking off the list, we have Captain Toad, the famed treasure tracker of legend! You may wonder why this guy is so likely to be added, and I'm gonna tell you why! Good ol' Toad has been a Mario staple since day one, and now he's got his own game! That's a lot more than that Rosalina bitch can say! He'd all sorts of wacky attacks, like throwing stars at you and slapping you with a pick axe. He'd also REGULAR Toad powers, like being the best! His dangerous arsenal would be balanced by his lack of being able to jump. For you see, Toad's too fat to get off the ground! But he isn't too fat for Smash, unlike a certain someone...

9. Wolf (Star Fox 64)

Another character who is quite likely to be added is Star Fox's own Wolf O'Donnell! Now, if you know me, you know that I don't exactly approve of furries. But this furry is a-ok in my book, and is by far the coolest character in all of Star Fox! (Other than maybe Slippy.) I don't think I'd need to go into detail about what sorts of attacks he'd have, because he was in Brawl already, and was WAAAY cooler than Fox and Falco! Heck, I'd say it's quite likely that FALCO gets cut, and replaced with Wolf, as it should have been from the start!

8. Viridi (Kid Icarus: Uprising)

Personally, I find Viridi to be rather annoying. By golly, I just wanna punch her every time she opens her mouth. And, if she were to say, be put in Smash Bros., I'd FINALLY get a chance to do just that! But that doesn't mean I hate Viridi, in fact, I think she's kinda cute! I'm sure that with just the right amount of Sakurai Bias, Viridi has a highly likely chance of being in the next game! Being a Goddess, she can do all the things that Palutena does! But unlike Palutena, she'd hopefully be decent in battle, using all sorts of nature powers! (Maybe she can steal Dark Pit's spot?!)

7. Nintendog (Nintendogs)

Nintendog, as silly as it sounds, is actually very very likely to be upgraded from an assist trophy and made into a playable character! Now why do I think this? Remember, I used a scientific algorithm! It's gonna happen. Anywho, some non-believers may claim, "We can't have two dogs in Smash Bros! The Duck Hunt Dog is plenty!" You see, my friends, we all know that the Duck Hunt Dog is on the chopping block! With that spot freed, Nintendog would fit quite snugly in the game! Nintendog's arsenal would include all sorts of strange attacks, like flinging himself at you with a rope, and taking a shower!

6. Guzma (Pokemon Sun and Moon)

We have plenty of characters from Pokemon already, but we have yet to have a character who isn't actually a Pokemon! (Pokemon Trainer doesn't count!) So, it only comes to reason that Guzma is almost definitely going to become playable! Why Guzma over any other character? Well, because Guzma is by far the most popular character, and he isn't a slouch in battle, unlike a certain other wimp! Guzma would have many dangerous attacks to watch out for, using his street smarts and rough-and-tough attitude to stop anybody who gets in his way! His Final Smash would be unleashing his ultimate Z-Move upon anyone unfortunate enough to get hit by it!

5. Anna (Fire Emblem

I've never played a Fire Emblem game, but I do know that characters from it have a pretty good reputation for getting into Smash Bros. We've got, like, eight of them right now, and I really think that we'll be receiving a couple dozen more in the coming Switch Release. As for now, we can't be quite sure of which characters to expect, but my algorithm says that Anna is the most likely one by far. From what I can tell, she'd be another swordfighter, and like Marth and Roy, her blade would have a sweet-spot! Right smack dab in the center of it! Other than that, she'd be pretty much identical to them and Lucina, aside for a few other minor changes!

4. Car (Rally-X)

All evidence points to Namco receiving another rep. I mean, Namco pretty much made SSB4, so they really deserve another one! And what better representative for Namco than the car from Rally-X? This rad dude would be quite dangerous on the battlefield, being able to drive around at unrivaled speeds while also being capable of laying down some nasty smoke screens that will stun enemies. He'd have a unique gimmick where he requires gasoline to unleash his powerful attacks, and he must stop and refuel every now and then! His Final Smash would be summoning a swarm of the EVIL RED CAR who will track down any enemy and make sure they suffer!

3. Ralph (Wreck-It Ralph)

Now, we all know Bowser made an appearance in Wreck-It Ralph, so it only makes sense that Ralph would make an appearance in a game with Bowser in it! And what better game for that than Super Smash Bros.?! Ralph would be a very dangerous character in battle indeed, unleashing many quick and powerful punches! However, to balance this out he wouldn't be too quick on his big, stupid feet. Ralph would also be able to throw all sorts of projectiles based on the world of Sugar Rush, such as Cherry Bombs and Sweet Seekers! This silly dude would be a perfect fit for Smash Brothers, and it's a mystery why he wasn't in the game from the beginning!

2. Lanky Kong (Donkey Kong 64)

Donkey Kong is in some serious need of some more representatives, and unfortunately for all you King K. Rool Losers, Lanky Kong is by far the most likely one that'll make the cut! And you know what, I'm fine with that! He's already got a huge set of possibilities in his moveset, including the fact that he can handstand when he needs to, and stretch his arms out just for you. Along with those things, he can also inflate himself just like a balloon in order to reach new heights! He'd also be able to do a lot more than just those things. But I'm too lazy to think about it too much.

1. Minion (Despicable Me)

This is one that I'm not exactly thrilled to tell you about, but based on all the evidence, the chances of Minion being playable in Smash Bros. is overwhelmingly high. Let's look at the facts. In 2016, Nintendo and Universal became buddies, and Universal's theme parks are making a Nintendo Land. Obviously, the Nintendo Land is just a convenient side effect of Nintendo's REAL devilish plan, which is to get Minion in Smash Bros.! With this deal, Minion is a shoe-in to make it into the next game, bringing all sorts of gadgets with him like a Fart Gun, Freeze-Ray, and Lipstick Taser! As much as I hate to admit it, I look forward to Minion's inclusion!

Starting off with an old classic, I present the GIBUS VISION loadout. I know what you’re thinking, “That loadout really sucks!” But keep this in mind... So does Scout! What better loadout to represent the Scout’s personality than this heaping pile of crap?

This is a loadout that I like to call, “Scout the Brony.” You can wear whatever you want with it, but the faggot pony head is mandatory!

In contrast with the LOSER Scout Loadouts above, we have the all-powerful Steampunk Scout! He’s a mighty warrior from the distant future who vanquishes his foes with his Sword of Might! Woah, if only the real Scout was this cool!

And finally, we have the Scout’s BEST Loadout, based on the hit tale, Scout’s White Smissmas! With this loadout, you can spread the holiday cheer, at any time of year! “Huhuhu! I’m just like Jack Frost!”

Everyone knows that garden gnomes are totally hip, but did you know that garden gnome soldiers are even hipper? Well, they are, so this here is one of the hippest Soldier loadouts known to man!

This awesome loadout transforms the Soldier into Sitting Deer, the Native American Chief! Cool! His tribe is known to go out and kill Scouts. Even cooler!

Everybody knows that Robo-Soldier is basically the best loadout ever. But if you don the box of power, then you must equip the Righteous Bison. Yuck. It’s totally worth it, though.

I don’t really know what to call this loadout, but it looks hella cute. Probably the best Soldier cosmetic set available on the market!

Ah, now here we have one of the most perfect Pyro loadouts ever! Ever wondered what Pyro looked like without his mask? Well now you know!

This loadout is pretty much so perfect that I’m just gonna copy and paste it with different hats. Here we have the Mushroom Man variant.

This is the Alice in Wonderland version of the Perfect Pyro. Awfully cute indeed, but watch out for the FLAMING AXE! What’s that, you say? The SVF sucks? No it doesn’t!

To wrap up Pyro’s loadouts, we have the Man-Child.

This loadout is sure to bring out the inner Thanksgiving in all of us! Merry Thanksgiving, everybody! Slap the spirit into your enemies with a Thanksgiving Ham!

With this spunky loadout, you can show off how GOOD you are at TF2 by becoming the king! Whoop-dee-doo!

Or if you prefer, you can dress up as a drunk asshole. Because that’s what Demoman is. A drunk asshole.

But why dress up as any of those silly things when you can be just Demoman? He’s already perfect, so why waste your time with cosmetic fluff?

This loadout is pretty neat-o if I do say so myself. With it, you become the wise old Heavy storyteller! Now that’s pretty cool!

If this type of crap is good enough to win every Saxxy ever, then, by God, it’s good enough to be amongst Heavy’s best cosmetic sets!

This loadout transforms Heavy into the Good Fairy of the Forest! Everyone in the server will envy your sick taste in outfits the second you put it on!

This is just another one of those loadouts that just looks plain cute. Bonus points because Heavy supports the Shark Rights Movement! Save the Sharks!

“Look everyone, it’s Captain Toad, the famed treasure tracker of legend!”, is what everybody will say when they see you in this spiffy outfit! You can complete the awesome look by unbinding your jump key!

Ah! Get that awful thing away from me!

Now this here’s a pretty good one that’ll wow all your friends. It combines two of the cutest things of all time. New players and fat people. D’aww!

This is a loadout I like to call “The LordAIDS Monkey”. Isn’t it just the most precious thing you ever did see?

This Medic just looks plain MEAN! He’s got a crooked cap and a bloodied bird! Sure signs of someone who’s up to no good! Nevertheless, it’s one of the best Medic loadouts ever, so I suggest you get one just like it!

With this costume, you can transform the Medic into Rad Vlad, the meanest vampire around. I only see one flaw with this loadout, and that is the fact that he doesn’t have a Blutsauger. Whoops!

This loadout is good for all you edgy folks out there. Medic, the Evil Witch-Doctor Witch! He’s not one to be messed with...

But this one is my personal favorite! Look at how cute he looks! He’s got a condom on his head!

I don’t really like Sniper, but I do like this snazzy get-up! But seriously, the Professional’s Panama is a pretty trash tier hat. Don’t wear it. Unless you wanna wear a Marxman or All-Father!

This loadout is quite fantastic for a number of reasons. My reason for liking it so much is because I have a friend who wears the exact same thing, who always gets mad whenever I wear it! Muahauaahauahuahauhau!

Of course, you can never go wrong with Croco-Sniper, one of the oldest and most beloved loadouts of our time!

This is actually the best Sniper loadout. It may not look like much, but it does a good job of angering the enemy! It’s very effective, so get out there and use it!

I don’t really know why I own such a nasty green hat, but I reckon that it completes this fantastic Spy quite nicely! What a lovely little set!

Holy smokes! I never knew that you could make any class be so cute with just a Marxman and a bucket of Salmon Paint, but look! It’s happened again! What a cute little Spy!

This is only here to remind us that, of the fifty-bajillion fedoras that Spy owns, the Fancy Fedora still reigns supreme. Actually, it’s the only good one, and you’re a chump if you accept any substitutes.

And here we have it folks, the pinnacle of all TF2 cosmetic sets. Not just for Spy, mind you, but this is THE BEST TF2 LOADOUT OF ALL TIME. “Why?” You may ask. Because it has a snake. Also, that scary skull and antlers just look so cute together.

(I apologize that everything is in bold! I copied it from a word document, and I couldn't un-bold it unless I removed the pictures, but there was no way I was gonna put them back in by scratch! No way, no how!)

15. Horse-Girl

The anatomy of Horse-Girl is totally whack. Like, what the heck's going on here? She'd got too many limbs, and that frightens me just a bit. On the bright side, she can get you from point A to point B!

14. Slime-Girl

A sentient blob? Slime-Girl's quite interesting, but I can't necessarily say she's any good!

13. Cat-Girl

I really don't like any form of Cat-Girl. She's just not all that cute!

12. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl! Unfortunately, most of them are pretty nasty little buggers!

11. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you, but there's no shame in loving her! Love away!

10. Dragon-Girl

It's a well known fact that dragons are cool. That means that Dragon-Girl is also pretty cool, and also pretty-pretty! Does this mean that Dragon-Girl is the best? No. Absolutely not!

9. Elf-Girl

Basically just a Regular-Girl who's smaller, has pointy ears, and lives in the forest. Unless we're dealing with the jolly variant. Then they live in the North Pole. 

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An evil-ancient-headless-warrior-girl who may or not wield an ax. Stay on this one's good side, however, and she gives pretty good head.

7. Fairy-Girl

Fairy-Girl is fantastic because they can grant all sorts of wacky wishes. Could you wish for her to be your girlfriend? You could try! (Disclaimer: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl are WISHMAKING Fairy-Girls! Only the good ones are.)

6. Spider-Girl

I'm afraid of Spider-Girl! But Spider-Girl is simply misunderstood! Just try to get passed the fact that she's a SPIDER, anf she's a fantastic choice for a girl! They also have great taste when it comes hugging a Toohoo!

5. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is just like any other Regular-Girl, only Were-Wolf-Girl has a terrible secret. She is a very good girl as long as the moon isn't full. That's awesome! But on a full moon she becomes a furry. That's less awesome.

4. Plant-Girl

In my professional opinion, Plant-Girl makes a very good choice for anybody, as she simply photosynthesizes, meaning she does not need you to cook for her. Logically, this means that SHE has to cook for YOU! Yay, Plant-Girl!

3. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a premature death, and must now forever walk this world. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with a little lovin'.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl just wants to be a part of your world. She's plenty cute, but she also smells like fish. Also she is stuck living in the water. I reckon that Fish-Girl is still worth anyone's time, though!

1. Snake Girl

This is probably totally biased, but I really like snakes.