LordCOVID Monkey

10. Marie Antoinette

Starting the list, we have the late and great queen of France, Marie Antoinette! She tends to receive hate for stirring up a lot of commotion during her rule, but this should not detract from all the great things she did! Though, being a history know-nothing, I can’t recall any of it. (Other than she had something to do with cake.) Rest assured, she’s pretty alright, and totally deserving to go down as the 10th best person in all of history.

9. Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi is a pretty upstanding citizen, telling those silly Brits to back off when nobody else would! He reminds me of the American hero, George Washington, who unfortunately didn’t make the list. But why did Gandhi place higher than Washington? Because he told them punks to back off without having to hurt any of them! Good ol’ Gandhi!

8.Edwin Perkins

In 1921, this man had made history, perhaps bringing to the world one of the greatest and most innovative things of all time! Powdered Kool-Aid! While the drink itself is nothing spectacular, the nostalgia hits hard! Oh yeah, indeed.

6 and 7. Colonel Sanders & Wendy Thomas

I couldn’t decide which one of these was the better mascot, so they’ve tied for 6th and 7th place. On one hand, Colonel Sanders has a finger-lickin’ good secret recipe, and on the other hand, Wendy is quite a bitch and one should never try to engage in an argument with her. (She’ll totallly win.) Together, they make a totally unbeatable historical duo. (And a pretty damn good ship!)

5.Calvin Coolidge

When it comes to American presidents, good ol’ Double C is by far the greatest of them all. He may be forgotten by pretty much everyone, but that is only befitting of a humble man such as himself! Coolidge, though you were the 30th president, you’ll always be #1 in my eyes.

4. Medusa

Medusa kinda gets a bad rep, because she’s supposedly “hideous and wicked”. But know this! Medusa did nothing wrong, and she can’t possibly be hideous or wicked, because she has snakes for hair! Medusa also gets bonus points for being a variant of Snake-Girl. A really great historical figure overall.

3. Indiana Jones

Now, Dr. Jones is a pretty smart dude. He goes on all sorts of wacky adventures where he proves his worth, beating a bunch of the WORST PEOPLE IN ALL OF HISTORY (The Nazis). However, due to his unfortunate fear of snakes, he gets a few points taken off. But #3 isn’t that bad at all! Well done, Indy!

2. You

That’s right, my SPUFFriend! YOU! This may come as a bit of a shock, but I personally believe that you, and only you, are the second best person in all of history! So go brag to all your friends that you’re second best, because you’ve earned it! Unfortunately for you, you can’t be the #1 best, because that position belongs to...

1. Paul Bunyan

Paul Bunyan is, quite literally, the biggest name in all of history. All pale in comparison to his mighty stature and heroic deeds, such as chopping wood and adopting a pet ox. Some may say that he isn’t historical, but is rather a character from fantasy. And to that I say, “phooey!” Paul Bunyan did, and still does live to this day! And he’s better than you.

10. Marie Antoinette

Starting the list, we have the late and great queen of France, Marie Antoinette! She tends to receive hate for stirring up a lot of commotion during her rule, but this should not detract from all the great things she did! Though, being a history know-nothing, I can’t recall any of it. (Other than she had something to do with cake.) Rest assured, she’s pretty alright, and totally deserving to go down as the 10th best person in all of history.

9. Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi is a pretty upstanding citizen, telling those silly Brits to back off when nobody else would! He reminds me of the American hero, George Washington, who unfortunately didn’t make the list. But why did Gandhi place higher than Washington? Because he told them punks to back off without having to hurt any of them! Good ol’ Gandhi!

8.Edwin Perkins

In 1921, this man had made history, perhaps bringing to the world one of the greatest and most innovative things of all time! Powdered Kool-Aid! While the drink itself is nothing spectacular, the nostalgia hits hard! Oh yeah, indeed.

6 and 7. Colonel Sanders & Wendy Thomas

I couldn’t decide which one of these was the better mascot, so they’ve tied for 6th and 7th place. On one hand, Colonel Sanders has a finger-lickin’ good secret recipe, and on the other hand, Wendy is quite a bitch and one should never try to engage in an argument with her. (She’ll totallly win.) Together, they make a totally unbeatable historical duo. (And a pretty damn good ship!)

5.Calvin Coolidge

When it comes to American presidents, good ol’ Double C is by far the greatest of them all. He may be forgotten by pretty much everyone, but that is only befitting of a humble man such as himself! Coolidge, though you were the 30th president, you’ll always be #1 in my eyes.

4. Medusa

Medusa kinda gets a bad rep, because she’s supposedly “hideous and wicked”. But know this! Medusa did nothing wrong, and she can’t possibly be hideous or wicked, because she has snakes for hair! Medusa also gets bonus points for being a variant of Snake-Girl. A really great historical figure overall.

3. Indiana Jones

Now, Dr. Jones is a pretty smart dude. He goes on all sorts of wacky adventures where he proves his worth, beating a bunch of the WORST PEOPLE IN ALL OF HISTORY (The Nazis). However, due to his unfortunate fear of snakes, he gets a few points taken off. But #3 isn’t that bad at all! Well done, Indy!

2. You

That’s right, my SPUFFriend! YOU! This may come as a bit of a shock, but I personally believe that you, and only you, are the second best person in all of history! So go brag to all your friends that you’re second best, because you’ve earned it! Unfortunately for you, you can’t be the #1 best, because that position belongs to...

1. Paul Bunyan

Paul Bunyan is, quite literally, the biggest name in all of history. All pale in comparison to his mighty stature and heroic deeds, such as chopping wood and adopting a pet ox. Some may say that he isn’t historical, but is rather a character from fantasy. And to that I say, “phooey!” Paul Bunyan did, and still does live to this day! And he’s better than you.

10. Marie Antoinette

Starting the list, we have the late and great queen of France, Marie Antoinette! She tends to receive hate for stirring up a lot of commotion during her rule, but this should not detract from all the great things she did! Though, being a history know-nothing, I can’t recall any of it. (Other than she had something to do with cake.) Rest assured, she’s pretty alright, and totally deserving to go down as the 10th best person in all of history.

9. Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi is a pretty upstanding citizen, telling those silly Brits to back off when nobody else would! He reminds me of the American hero, George Washington, who unfortunately didn’t make the list. But why did Gandhi place higher than Washington? Because he told them punks to back off without having to hurt any of them! Good ol’ Gandhi!

8.Edwin Perkins

In 1921, this man had made history, perhaps bringing to the world one of the greatest and most innovative things of all time! Powdered Kool-Aid! While the drink itself is nothing spectacular, the nostalgia hits hard! Oh yeah, indeed.

6 and 7. Colonel Sanders & Wendy Thomas

I couldn’t decide which one of these was the better mascot, so they’ve tied for 6th and 7th place. On one hand, Colonel Sanders has a finger-lickin’ good secret recipe, and on the other hand, Wendy is quite a bitch and one should never try to engage in an argument with her. (She’ll totallly win.) Together, they make a totally unbeatable historical duo. (And a pretty damn good ship!)

5.Calvin Coolidge

When it comes to American presidents, good ol’ Double C is by far the greatest of them all. He may be forgotten by pretty much everyone, but that is only befitting of a humble man such as himself! Coolidge, though you were the 30th president, you’ll always be #1 in my eyes.

4. Medusa

Medusa kinda gets a bad rep, because she’s supposedly “hideous and wicked”. But know this! Medusa did nothing wrong, and she can’t possibly be hideous or wicked, because she has snakes for hair! Medusa also gets bonus points for being a variant of Snake-Girl. A really great historical figure overall.

3. Indiana Jones

Now, Dr. Jones is a pretty smart dude. He goes on all sorts of wacky adventures where he proves his worth, beating a bunch of the WORST PEOPLE IN ALL OF HISTORY (The Nazis). However, due to his unfortunate fear of snakes, he gets a few points taken off. But #3 isn’t that bad at all! Well done, Indy!

2. You

That’s right, my SPUFFriend! YOU! This may come as a bit of a shock, but I personally believe that you, and only you, are the second best person in all of history! So go brag to all your friends that you’re second best, because you’ve earned it! Unfortunately for you, you can’t be the #1 best, because that position belongs to...

1. Paul Bunyan

Paul Bunyan is, quite literally, the biggest name in all of history. All pale in comparison to his mighty stature and heroic deeds, such as chopping wood and adopting a pet ox. Some may say that he isn’t historical, but is rather a character from fantasy. And to that I say, “phooey!” Paul Bunyan did, and still does live to this day! And he’s better than you.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.

30. Cat-Girl

Kicking off the list we have Cat-Girl! Cat-Girl is, to my knowledge, one of the worst Girls out there. Though she isn’t without her fans! If you like her, good for you!

Pros: A lot of fun with a laser pointer!

Cons: Pees and poos in a box, that you have to clean.

29. Alien-Girl

I really wanted to like Alien-Girl. However, looking through pictures of her, I realized that she is always pretty disgusting to look at.

Pros: She comes in peace.

Cons: Doesn’t shut up about wanting to meet “your leader.”

28. Cyclops-Girl

Cyclops-Girl is another one who just isn’t pleasing to the eye. Get it? Jokes aside, she’s pretty sickening with her one big eyeball of hers.

Pros: Way better than Cat-Girl and Alien-Girl.

Cons: Two eyes are better than one.

27. Robot-Girl

Robot-Girl knows no emotions, and is cold both outside and in. However, due to modern science, she can be programmed to love you!

Pros: Totally customizable, can fulfill any kink!

Cons: Probably has to reboot after doing anything.

26. Fake-Girl

Fake-Girl may appear to be a Normal-Girl, but I assure you that Fake-Girl isn’t even a Girl! She, if you can call it that, is actually a MAN in disguise!

Pros: I’m not one to judge!

Cons: Traps are gay.

25. Horse-Girl

Horse-Girl’s anatomy really bothers me. She’s got, like, six limbs and two stomachs. What in the heck is going on with her!?

Pros: You don’t need a car with Horse-Girl around!

Cons: Don’t sneak up behind her. Unless you wanna get walloped!

24. Zombie-Girl

Zombie-Girl, quite surprisingly, isn’t as disgusting as one would expect her to be! Despite her deceased status, she’s still full of life!

Pros: Detachable limbs, if you’re into that.

Cons: Won’t be so cute when her flesh rots off.

23. Slime-Girl

This one is quite an interesting Girl indeed! She’s somehow living and breathing, despite any vital organs! Slime-Girl is certainly a miracle of a Girl!

Pros: Can recover from any injury!

Cons: Will get sucked down the drain if you aren’t careful.

22. Bird-Girl

Bird-Girl is actually a nasty one when you think about it! She carries lots of diseases and also vomits into the mouths of her children. Yuck!

Pros: She flies.

Cons: Totally a bird-brain.

21. Snail-Girl

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I looked it up. So, I don’t really know what to say about Snail-Girl, other than she’s pretty cute!

Pros: Snails are super cute, one of the best animals around!

Cons: Can’t eat salty food.

20. Golem-Girl

Golem-Girl is a pretty cool Girl indeed. Of all the Girls, she’s probably one of the most loyal, and will be your friend to  the very end!

Pros: Will rock your world.

Cons: Since she’s made with your own hands, she’s basically your child.

19. Insect-Girl

Did you know that Insect-Girl is actually the largest sub-class of Girl? There are over 91,000 species of Insect-Girl, which means there’s plenty to go around for everyone!

Pros: The most varied type of Girl, by far.

Cons: Most are pretty nasty little buggers.

18. Doll-Girl

I for one, am very afraid of doll of all shapes and sizes. They’re just a bit creepy for my liking, but Doll-Girl is still quite likable!

Pros:  Comes with her own playset.

Cons: Only kids play with dolls!

17. Dracula-Girl

Dracula-Girl is quite a menacing little demon indeed. She may be after your blood, but I’m sure she’s totally willing to be your buddy, or much more if you’d prefer!

Pros: Doesn’t age, she’ll outlive you!

Cons: Can’t show her off at the beach without the strongest of sunblock!

16. Succubus-Girl

Succubus-Girl is a nasty little bitch. She will never truly love you as much as you love her. But, if I’m completely honest, there is no shame in loving her!

Pros: Always in the mood.
Cons: She says she loves you, but all she wants is your soul.

15. Spider-Girl

Oh, geez… I personally, think that spiders are one of the most terrifying things ever! Spider-Girl takes after her spider ancestors, and provides some real spine chilling scares!

Pros: Always willing to lend a hand.

Cons: Will probably bite your head off after getting intimate!

14. Big-Girl

Big-Girl is just like a Regular-Girl, only she’s waaay bigger! Big-Girls can range from gentle giants to DESTRUCTIVE, so try to avoid the destructive ones!

Pros: More Girl to love.
Cons: More Girl to accidentally squash you.

13. Dragon-Girl

It’s a well-known fact that dragons are cool, so it would only stand to reason that Dragon-Girl is pretty cool too. Dragon-Girls are also known for their amazing treasure collections!

Pros: She’s got tons of cash.

Cons: Probably won’t let you touch any of it.

12.Elf-Girl

Elf-Girl is basically just a smaller, Regular-Girl who has pointy ears and lives in the forest. Unless we’re dealing with the North Pole variant. (You should avoid those ones.)

Pros: Pointy ears.

Cons: Pointy ears.

11. Octopus-Girl

Octopus-Girl is a bit on the wicked side of the Girl spectrum. Yes, she’s had the odd complaint, but on the whole she’s been a saint! Totally a Girl worth checking out!

Pros: Knows all sorts of zany spells!

Cons: Might try to steal your voice, amongst other things.

10. Milk-Girl

Milk-Girl’s main draw comes from her unique pair of assets. Outside of that, she doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. Except for milk.

Pros: Unlimited supply of milk, if you’re into that!

Cons: Might have an udder. Gross.

9. Were-Wolf-Girl

Were-Wolf-Girl is typically a very mysterious Girl! But once you get to know her, you’ll find out she has a lot going on behind her quiet facade. Including her BIGGEST SECRET!

Pros: Regular-Girl by day.

Cons: Furry-Girl by night.

8. Dullahan-Girl

This type of Girl is one who is not to be trifled with! An Evil-Ancient-Headless-Warrior-Girl who may or not wield an ax. Try to stay on this one’s good side!

Pros: Gives pretty good head.

Cons: Would lose her own head if it wasn’t atta-… Oh wait.

7. Fairy-Girl.

Fairy-Girl can grant all sorts of wishes! Could you wish for her to be your Girlfriend? You could try! Of course, I can’t guarantee that it’d work!

Pros: Way better than Pixie-Girls.

Cons: Not all variants of Fairy-Girl can grant wishes. Only the good ones can.

6. Witch-Girl

Witch-Girl is just a bundle of joy! She has a great hat, and an even greater broom so she can sweep your house! Being a bookworm, she also knows all sorts of magical enchantments!

Pros: You can make a bridge out of her!

Cons: Flammable.

5. Plant-Girl

In all my years of research, I have never come across something quite as bizarre as Plant-Girl. Is she a plant? Is she a Girl? Is she BOTH?! We may not ever know!

Pros: She photosynthesizes, meaning you don’t have to cook for her!

Cons: Wilts away during the cold months.

4. Ghost-Girl

Ghost-Girl is like a Regular-Girl who died a horrible death, and must now forever walk the Earth. It sounds depressing, and it is. Fortunately, you can brighten Ghost-Girl's day with some love!

Pros: Will be with you even when you die.

Cons: Won’t shut up about her past life.

3. Holy-Girl

Holy-Girl is the sweetest Girl you will ever meet! Holy-Girl is pure of heart, and is totally a virgin. But she’d probably be willing to let that change if she met the right person! (No, it’s not you.)

Pros: The cutest little angel.

Cons: Probably a really boring person.

2. Fish-Girl

Fish-Girl is a fantastic choice due to her ability to befriend all aquatic life, including sharks! What a Good-Girl! She’s desperate to become a part of your world!

Pros: Will do anything to be with you, despite knowing nothing about you.

Cons: Pretty much limited to being in the water, always.

1. Snake-Girl

Once again, Snake-Girl sneaks herself onto the top of the Monster-Girl Tier List! This isn’t a surprise in the slightest, as Snake-Girl is simply the best!

Pros: I really like snakes, and you probably do too, right?

Cons: Snake vagina.