Veez

Mandatory
Do it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgkhMci163E

thats_your_problem_now.jpg

Monster Dong Two: Electric Dongaloo

Is that what I think it is?
 
 
Holy shit, I think its an Alpha Centauri successor.
 
Edit:
 
Sid Meier's Civilization®: Beyond Earth™ is a new science-fiction-themed entry into the award-winning Civilization series. Set in the future, global events have destabilized the world leading to a collapse of modern society, a new world order and an uncertain future for humanity. As the human race struggles to recover, the re-developed nations focus their resources on deep space travel to chart a new beginning for mankind. As part of an expedition sent to find a home beyond Earth, you will write the next chapter for humanity as you lead your people into a new frontier and create a new civilization in space. Explore and colonize an alien planet, research new technologies, amass mighty armies, build incredible Wonders and shape the face of your new world. As you embark on your journey you must make critical decisions. From your choice of sponsor and the make-up of your colony, to the ultimate path you choose for your civilization, every decision opens up new possibilities. FEATURES Seed the Adventure: Establish your cultural identity by choosing one of eight different expedition sponsors, each with its own leader and unique gameplay benefits. Assemble your spacecraft, cargo & colonists through a series of choices that directly seed the starting conditions when arriving at the new planet. Colonize an Alien World: Explore the dangers and benefits of a new planet filled with dangerous terrain, mystical resources, and hostile life forms unlike those of Earth. Build outposts, unearth ancient alien relics, tame new forms of life, develop flourishing cities and establish trade routes to create prosperity for your people. Technology Web: To reflect progress forward into an uncertain future, technology advancement occurs through a series of nonlinear choices that affect the development of mankind. The technology web is organized around three broad themes, each with a distinct victory condition. Quest System: Quests are injected with fiction about the planet, and help to guide you through a series of side-missions that will aid in resource collection, unit upgrades, and advancement through the game. Orbital Layer: Build and deploy advanced military, economic and scientific units that provide strategic offensive, defensive and support capabilities from orbit. Unit Customization: Unlock different upgrades through the tech web and customize your units to reflect your play style. Multiplayer: Up to 8 players can compete for dominance of a new alien world. Mod support: Robust mod support allows you to customize and extend your game experience.

Is that what I think it is?
 
 
Holy shit, I think its an Alpha Centauri successor.
 
Edit:
 
Sid Meier's Civilization®: Beyond Earth™ is a new science-fiction-themed entry into the award-winning Civilization series. Set in the future, global events have destabilized the world leading to a collapse of modern society, a new world order and an uncertain future for humanity. As the human race struggles to recover, the re-developed nations focus their resources on deep space travel to chart a new beginning for mankind. As part of an expedition sent to find a home beyond Earth, you will write the next chapter for humanity as you lead your people into a new frontier and create a new civilization in space. Explore and colonize an alien planet, research new technologies, amass mighty armies, build incredible Wonders and shape the face of your new world. As you embark on your journey you must make critical decisions. From your choice of sponsor and the make-up of your colony, to the ultimate path you choose for your civilization, every decision opens up new possibilities. FEATURES Seed the Adventure: Establish your cultural identity by choosing one of eight different expedition sponsors, each with its own leader and unique gameplay benefits. Assemble your spacecraft, cargo & colonists through a series of choices that directly seed the starting conditions when arriving at the new planet. Colonize an Alien World: Explore the dangers and benefits of a new planet filled with dangerous terrain, mystical resources, and hostile life forms unlike those of Earth. Build outposts, unearth ancient alien relics, tame new forms of life, develop flourishing cities and establish trade routes to create prosperity for your people. Technology Web: To reflect progress forward into an uncertain future, technology advancement occurs through a series of nonlinear choices that affect the development of mankind. The technology web is organized around three broad themes, each with a distinct victory condition. Quest System: Quests are injected with fiction about the planet, and help to guide you through a series of side-missions that will aid in resource collection, unit upgrades, and advancement through the game. Orbital Layer: Build and deploy advanced military, economic and scientific units that provide strategic offensive, defensive and support capabilities from orbit. Unit Customization: Unlock different upgrades through the tech web and customize your units to reflect your play style. Multiplayer: Up to 8 players can compete for dominance of a new alien world. Mod support: Robust mod support allows you to customize and extend your game experience.

Well, you know what they say.
 

Monster Dong Two: Electric Dongaloo

Monster Dong Two: Electric Dongaloo

Well, you know what they say.
 

Part 1
 
Rammite was laying in his bed staring up at his ceiling fan. He had been severally depressed after breaking up with the >ghost of Dualjay. Ever since the >Rocky Mountain Man Quest 2012, Rammite's dong had grown so big from all the steak and goat head-butting that it'd quickly ruin all his relationships. "This dong is a curse, how did Guy ever live with such a problem?" Rammite said rolling over to his side. "If only Razputin hadn't destroyed Doopliss' gender bending machine, then maybe I could have used it to free myself of this manly curse." Rammite sighed and went back to sleep.
 
Several hours later, Rammite was woken up be something. He had heard a muffled voice that seemed to come from under him. "Feed me." Rammite quickly sat up in his bed in a panic and started looking around for the source of the voice. "Was that coming from under the bed?" Rammite said before quickly hopping off and looking under his bed. "Feed me." this time the voice seemed to have came from behind him. Rammite quickly turned around, but no sign of the source. "Show yourself!" Rammite yelled. "Feed me." Was all he heard.
 
Rammite was now shaking with fear. He slowly edged his way towards the box of stuff Dualjay had left in his house after the break up. Rammite opened the box and took out one of Dualjay's bad dragon dildos. Rammite held the dildo over his head ready to strike the first thing he saw. "Feed me." This time Rammite was able to pinpoint the source of the sound, and it was coming from inside his pants.
 
Part 2
 
Rammite carefully unzipped his pants. "Feed me." The voice said no longer muffled. Rammite slowly looked down, and saw that his dong was looking back at him. Rammite took Dualjay's bad dragon dildo and started to flail himself in the crotch out of fear. He instantly regretted that descision as he dropped to his knees in pain. "Feed me" the voice said uninterrupted by the dildo attacks. "What do you want?!" Rammite screamed at his dong. "Feed me." His dong obviously replied. "Oh yeah... should have guessed." Rammite said getting up off the floor.
 
Rammite scuttled to his kitchen with his pants around his feet. He opened his fridge and looked inside. As usual, there was plenty of steaks and eggs inside. "Feed me." The dong said lifting itself up towards the steak in the fridge. Rammite took a steak and fed it to his dong like you'd feed a dog table scraps. The dong quickly ate it up and slightly grew in size. Rammite kept feeding it steak and eggs, and each time the dong grew more and more.
 
Rammite had emptied out his fridge, and his dong had grown quite a bit. The dong was now on the floor by several feet. "That's all the food I have, sorry." Rammite said looking at his dong. "Pa...papa." The dong said looking back at Rammite. "Did you just call me papa? Maybe all this steak is making my dong smarter." Rammite said struggling to walk over to his couch. Rammite plopped himself down in the couch. "You know, I should give you a name... How about... Douglas." Rammite said laying back and getting comfortable. Just as he got cozy, there was a knock at his door.
 
Part 3
 
Rammite panicked and threw a blanket over Douglas. "Come in, it's open." Rammite said trying to act nonchalant. Idiot Cube walked in carrying a cardboard box that was dripping all over the carpet. "I brought you some steaks since I heard you were under the weather." Idiot Cube said setting the box down by Rammite's feet. "Why did you use a cardboard box to carry raw steaks?" Rammite asked looking at his carpet. "Don't judge me, it's my fetish." Idiot Cube replied looking offended. Douglas then raised his head and started sniffing at the air. "STEAK!!!" Douglas yelled before throwing off the blankets and diving head first into the steaks.
 
"C-c-carnivorous dong! Screw this, I'm not going out like my dad." Idiot Cube screamed before running out of Rammite's house. Douglas quickly finished off the box of steaks before Rammite could do anything about it. The steaks in the box were enough to make Douglas even bigger than Rammite was. "MORE!!!" Douglas yelled before lunging forward and crawling across the ground like a snake. Rammite tried to stop Douglas, but Douglas' thrusts were too powerful.
 
Douglas dragged Rammite to the neighbors house where he head-butted their door down. Douglas quickly slithered inside and emptied out their fridge of steaks. Douglas then went and did the same to all the the neighbor's houses. With each house Douglas grew bigger and bigger. It wasn't long before he couldn't use their doors anymore, and had to bust down the walls of their houses to get in. "I crave more steak!" Douglas yelled after finishing off the last house's steak. Douglas had now grown to the size of a van.
 
Part 4
 
Rammite's feet no longer touched the ground, so he was completely under control of Douglas' whims. Douglas raised his head and sniffed at the air. "I smell steak to the north." Douglas said slithering towards the main part of town. "Douglas, there are innocent people there. They need steak to live too." Rammite shouted, pounding his fist into Douglas' back. Douglas just ignored Rammite's pleas and moved even faster. Rammite noticed a familiar face on the side of the road. "Oh look, it's Comeau." Rammite said waving at his friend. Comeau waved back, but soon was out of Rammite's sight.
 
Douglas quickly reached the edge of town. The smell of steak was thick in the air. Douglas roared loudly, waving his head back and forth, and then charged at the first source of steak he could smell. The Steak and Steak was first to go, followed by the Steak-Fil-A, Jamba Steak, Steak Queen (and King), Steakway, Steak Hut, KFS, McSteaks, and Steak Bell. With every fast-food restaurant, Douglas grew bigger, and the bigger he grew the faster he was able to eat steak. It wasn't long before Douglas was able to finish off all the restaurants in town.
 
After eating all that steak, Douglas had grown to the size of a small building. "The smell of steak is gone. Where did the steak go?" Douglas asked sniffing at the air. "You ate all the steak there was in town, Douglas. There is no more steak to be had." Rammite replied barely able to move on Douglas' back. "WHAT?! NO MORE STEAK!!!" Douglas screamed, looking around frantically for steak. Rammite thought of a plan at that moment. "I was wrong, there is more steak. It's just well hidden." Rammite said with a smirk on his face. "WHERE?!" Douglas shouted, still looking around in every direction. "To your left." Rammite said pointing at a coffee shop were Huff and Skye were drinking outside.
 
Part 5
 
Huff and Skye had spent the entire afternoon gossiping and drinking coffee. They were so wrapped up in it, that they didn't even notice that a giant dong had been attacking and destroying all the fast-food restaurants around town. Skye had one of his scarves wrapped around his face, which made drinking coffee very difficult. Thankfully, there were plenty of napkins at their table. Douglas' approach had made the ground start to shake. "Is your stomach rumbling, Skye." Huff asked taking a long sip from his coffee. "That's not me, but I do need to go on a diet." Skye replied with a shirt covered in coffee. "Oh no you don't, Skye. You look fabulous. I need to go on a diet." Huff replied, obviously fishing for compliments.
 
Before they could get locked in a never ending cycle of saying the other one looks skinny and that they need to go on a diet, Douglas had arrived and interrupted them with an earth-shattering roar. "Oh look, it's Tyrone." Skye said looking up at Douglas. "You slut." Huff scoffed at Skye. "STEAK!!!" Douglas roared at them. "There's no steak here. It's the Vegan Hippy Cafe." Huff replied taking another long sip of coffee. "That's perfect." Rammite thought to himself. "Huff, Skye, get as much tofu as you can and give it to the monster dong." Rammite screamed, barely able to be heard from behind Douglas.
 
Huff and Skye didn't disagree with Rammite's plan, since they wanted Douglas to stop annoying them so they could go back to their coffee and girl talk. They looked at each other briefly before Skye said. "Well I bought the coffee today." Huff rolled his eyes and went inside the Vegan Hippy Cafe. He came out carrying a large armful of tofu, and placed it down on the table. Douglas sniffed at the tofu. "THAT'S NOT STEAK!" Douglas roared at them, covering the two in his spit. "You have to find some way to make him eat it!" Rammite screamed as loud as he could.
 
"I got it!" Skye said wiping Douglas' spit off his face and taking off his scarf. Skye laid it flat on the table, and then loaded all the tofu onto his scarf, turning it into a makeshift sling. "What are you doing?" Huff asked. Skye didn't answer, he just started to spin the scarf sling as fast as he could. Douglas roared at the two loudly, opening his mouth up very wide. "Smile you son of a bitch." Skye yelled, flinging the tofu into Douglas' mouth. The tofu caused Douglas to start to flail around in pain. His entire body started to bubble and shake. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Douglas screamed before exploding. "You did it." Rammite said running over to Huff and Skye.
 
It then started to rain, but it was not raining water. Thousands of dongs rained down from the sky. "The dongpocalypse is upon us." Huff declared.
 

While I can't say if the game is better or worse than what it was in Alpha, I can say I had a much more enjoyable experience back in the Alpha days. Maybe that could be chalked up to nostalgia, but personally, I think it was because how the game was more or less a mystery to us. Digging out that first diamond was something to remember, the fear of the dark was bigger, the threat of dying made sure you knew where your house was if you died, digging out a hole in the wall to look for coal was the ideal way to spend the first night, dungeons seemed like an impossible task, and so on so forth.
 
Nowadays? We know all the little details of the game, and the ideal way of going about our survival. Charcoal and beds have diminished the threat of night, and we know the ideal way of finding diamonds. The difficulty doesn't scale well, and the mobs require additional bonus's in order to be threatening. Stacking foods has made it easier to recover health, and potions give you an inmate advantage over the rest of the game, and other players, if in a multiplayer server. People use mods to try and replicate the feeling of the unknown, but with not all too much success, depending on the user and the mod. 
 
This is all my opinion, and your free to your own, but this is really the main reason I can't find that much enjoyment in Minecraft anymore.

While I can't say if the game is better or worse than what it was in Alpha, I can say I had a much more enjoyable experience back in the Alpha days. Maybe that could be chalked up to nostalgia, but personally, I think it was because how the game was more or less a mystery to us. Digging out that first diamond was something to remember, the fear of the dark was bigger, the threat of dying made sure you knew where your house was if you died, digging out a hole in the wall to look for coal was the ideal way to spend the first night, dungeons seemed like an impossible task, and so on so forth.
 
Nowadays? We know all the little details of the game, and the ideal way of going about our survival. Charcoal and beds have diminished the threat of night, and we know the ideal way of finding diamonds. The difficulty doesn't scale well, and the mobs require additional bonus's in order to be threatening. Stacking foods has made it easier to recover health, and potions give you an inmate advantage over the rest of the game, and other players, if in a multiplayer server. People use mods to try and replicate the feeling of the unknown, but with not all too much success, depending on the user and the mod. 
 
This is all my opinion, and your free to your own, but this is really the main reason I can't find that much enjoyment in Minecraft anymore.