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I lol'd.

Part 2 No amount of struggling was going counter the effects of the tofu. The pussy virus was already flowing through our veins. Corvette even started to grow miniature vaginas all over his face, since he just had to have a second steak, and the extra tofu was turning him into a literal pussy. We were stuck just laying there with no hope in sight, then Corvette said something we should have thought of instantly "What would Bruce Campbell do?" That was it, the answer was before us the whole time. Then in unison, we yell out "A training montage with lots of close ups and jump cuts followed by an awesome catch-phrase at the end!!!" *Cue training montage music* We did thirty solid minutes of training montages, and we slowly but surely got our strength back each time the imaginary camera cut back to us. After we spouted off our manly catch-phrases, we were fully healed of the pussy virus. I went for the classic "Groovy," while Corvette, Rammite, and Magickus went for an "All for one and one for all" type deal, but with dragon dildos instead of swords. Thanks to the power of training montages, when we were done, we were even more buff and manly than we were before Guy had poisoned us. "How are we going to catch up to Guy, he has a good thirty minutes on us?" Corvette asked stroking his chin. "Better yet, how are we going to find the legendary hooker tree without Joe Walsh's 'Rocky Mountain Way' to lead the... way" I asked before being interrupted by Magickus. "Air band." That was all Magickus had to say, because in that second we knew exactly what we had to do, and we all started air rocking as hard as humanly possible. The power of the air band started making Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way" play all around us, and then we even started floating into the air. The harder we rocked, the faster we flew up into the sky. Soon we were flying faster than we could have ever climbed at even our fastest pace. "At this rate we'll catch up to Guy" Rammite said stopping his air rocking for a brief second. "Just keep your focus on playing those drums, Rammy baby." I said while doing my wicked awesome guitar solo. It didn't take long before we saw the peak of the mountain grow closer and closer. Though, when we got to the top, we saw that we were in fact too late. The hooker tree had been cut down, and Binary was standing there with axe in hand. Before any of us could comment, Magickus pulled out that grape drink margarita he had brought with him. "Is that what I think it is" Guy said not breaking eye contact with the grape drink margarita. "Indeed it is, Guy. I knew your Mexican half was going to betray us, so I planned ahead." Magickus said throwing the grape drink margarita off the side of the mountain. Guy then jumped after the grape drink margarita yelling "GRAAAAPPPEEEE DRRRIIINNNKKK!!!" Without Guy to protect him, Binary was defenseless. We all started to close in on Binary to get our revenge. "One step closer and I'll use this." Binary said revealing that he had a copy of Twilight. "No, not that, anything but that." I cried out in pure fear. Rammite did some quick thinking and pulled out a dragon dildo and threw it like a javelin into Binary's mouth. The dragon dildo blocked his airways, and Binary was soon choking to death. After a couple of minutes of spasming on the ground, Binary was dead. Corvette then kicked his body off of the mountain, and watched it vanish from sight. After a while, the realization that the hooker tree had been cut down set in, and our feeling of victory turned into defeat. "Was this quest just a waste of time" Rammite said wiping a single manly tear from his eye. We just stood there in silence for at least a good minute until we heard a loud voice coming from down the mountain. "Who dares cut down my hooker tree." The voice said getting closer and louder. It wasn't long before the mystery voice revealed its self, because before us stood Joe Walsh. "It wasn't us, it was an angry midget named Binary who cut down your tree." I said trying to reason with Joe Walsh. "Where is this angry midget then, all I see four buff dudes?" Joe Walsh questioned. "Dammit Corvette, why did you have to push his body off the mountain?" Magickus said punching Corvette in the shoulder. "You dare try and fool Joe Walsh? For that you'll die!" Joe Walsh said shooting lightning from his finger tips. We all fell to the ground in pain, and we were sure that we were going to die. That was until Guy came out of nowhere, and jumped on Joe Walsh's back. "Guy, I thought you had betrayed us." Magickus said still paralyzed from the lightning. "You forget that I'm also half black, which means I have to sacrifice myself in the last moment to save a bunch of white people." Guy said forcing Joe Walsh closer to the edge of the mountain. Rammite using his last bit of strength threw his last remaining dragon dildo to Guy. "Dragon dildos, my only weakness" Joe Walsh cried out in fear. Guy then stabbed the dragon dildo into Joe Walsh's heart, and they both fell off the mountain. We crawled our way over to the edge of the mountain, and there we saw the dead bodies of Guy and Joe Walsh smashed upon the rocks. "No hooker tree and three people died all because of this stupid man quest." Corvette said dropping to his knees. "No wait, we never needed the hooker tree in the first place. There are plenty of hookers for us to pay for sex that don't grow on trees." I said in a moment of clarity. "He's right, maybe it's more about the journey than the destination anyways." Rammite said slowly standing to his feet. We then held hands and skipped down the mountain together, and Binary, Guy, and Joe Walsh were never heard from again. Then we all got laid, expect for Dualjay, who died in a semen lube based fire, since Rammite had tied him up in that bondage device, and he couldn't escape. THE END!!! :pinkiegasm:

So Rammite's into necrophilia?

What the fuck is going on in this thread

But it only grows on the highest peaks of the rocky mountains. To reach the plant, you'll need to climb the mountain with just the clothes on your back while listening to "Rocky Mountain Way" by Joe Walsh. Along the way, you'll come across several challenges that will test if you're truly worthy of the great hooker tree. If you think you're man enough, meet me at the mountain base at dawn. :pinkiegasm:

Well, the ones I like do.

I heard there is a rare plant that grows hookers.

That would be terrible, Rammite just bought you a new gift if you catch my drift. :pinkiegasm:

lJay < Rammite because the spade's pointing at Du lJay and is being pointed by Rammite Rammite did tell me once about the bad dragon dildo he bought to surprise Dueljay on his birthday, so Rammite just has to be the top. :pinkiegasm:

lJay but aren't you his kismesis? No. Du lJay hate-broke up with me. Now we're just good enemies.

I know, how can you hate it?

No you don't. :pinkiegasm:

Any holiday, even my birthday, really do nothing for me anymore.