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So, yeah, I make TF2 weapons out of cardboard. Bonesaw Unfinished Flaregun Shotgun

Barple Bapkins

More like Barble Slapkins.

I'm just going to put my flak jacket on now. No, no reason, why do you ask? ... I LIKE TOP GEAR USA I'm just gonna run for my life now, kthx

You haven't seen many SPUF v. other community events, have you?

Turns out I had actually been poisoning Cube's food with weaboo contaminant. On purpose.

Really, Raz? You couldn't have just given a reason? You had to go and be a dick about it? My big reason for not wanting a filter, is because we're a close knit community that pretty much knows everyone who's active, or at least is acquainted with them. Having a word filter doesn't really make sense in that respect, since we're not just a random group of randoms, and we're not some massive forum with 300+ active users.

So I'm trying to make my chapters not be so short with little substance. I started reading a little bit of the stories that inspired me to get into writing again. It helps a little. Hopefully by the time this ends, my chapters won't be so short with almost nothing but dialogue. Anyway, nuu chapter. [spoiler2]Chapter 2 Rynjin and Stackbabbin' Bumscags sat across from each other at the table. They waited impatiently for the others to show up. "Why does it seem like we're the only people that enjoy playing these games anymore?" Bumscags started setting up the board for Pandemic. "You should start offering a cash reward if the players win. That will get them to join." "As if any of you deserve my hard earned cash." As Bumscags began shuffling the cards, Doopliss joined the table. "Sorry I'm late. I had some set up to do in my room this morning." Rynjin reached into a cooler at the side of the table and set it on the table. "Set up? Are you guys doing something special?" "We are but . . ." Doopliss looked out the door as if he were expecting to hear someone eavesdropping on him. "I probably shouldn't tell you. Corv and Bern don't think anyone else should hear about it." "Come on, Doop, you can tell us." Rynjin picked up the beer and held it just out of Doopliss's reach. "I'll let you have this beer if you tell us." "Ryn, I'm not falling for that." Doopliss took his class card and got ready to play. "We're not five anymore." "Well you're no fun." Rynjin set the beer back down beside Doopliss. Idiot Cube joined them and set some cubes down on the table. "Uh . . . why did you bring these cubes?" "I'm glad you asked. Watch this." Idiot Cube tapped the top of one of the cubes. It immediately sprouted arms and legs and started dancing around. It then sprouted a birthday hat with the word "unbirthday" on it. "I made these cubes for our unbirthday! There's one for each of you." Idiot Cube reached into the bag slung over his shoulder and took out a plate wrapped in tin foil. He took off the tin foil, revealing the most scrumptuous cookies any SPUFer had ever laid eyes on. "Thank you very much, Cube." All three of them spoke nearly in unison. They all took a cookie and started eating them. "Enjoy those, guys." Idiot Cube had the biggest grin on his face. He set his bag down beside the table. "Now, let's start this. What classes are you guys again?" Bumscags grabbed his notebook and started writing down some notes. "Doopliss is a generalist. Rynjin is a field operative. Rammire still hasn't shown up yet. While we wait for him, what will you choose, Idiot Cube?" "Um . . ." Idiots Cubes eyes moved back and forth as though he were reading the cards in his head. "I want to be a medic." "Alright." Bumscags took note. "Now, we just need to wait for Rammire to get here." Bynary passed by the room they were playing in. After seeing the four sitting there, he remembered that he had to deliver them a message. "Oh, guys, Rammire won't be able to make it tonight. He has important god duties that need to be finished now. He promised he'd be able to meet you guys tomorrow though." Bumscags closed his notebook and started putting the game away. "At this point, I've come to expect it. Thanks, Bynary." He finished putting the game back in its box and started to leave. "Lets meet again tomorrow at the same time then. See you gentlemanns tomorrow." Rynjin, Doopliss, and Idiot Cube waved goodbye. After Bumscags was gone, Rynjin and Doopliss went back to eating Idiot Cube's cookies. "How do you make these?!" Rynjin looked intently at one of the cookies. "I must know!" "A lot of love." After all the cookies were gone, Idiot Cube put the tin foil back on the plate and put the plate back in his bag. "Lots of love and lots of the butchered remains of Cub --" "What did you say?" Doopliss didn't seem to hear what he said. "Just lots of love." Idiot Cube had the most innocent smile on his face. ------------------ Bernkastel laid curled up on her bed. She lightly batted the air with her hand. The door slammed open, causing Bernkastel to perk up her ears and open her right eye. She saw Corvette and Doopliss returning with bags full of markers. "Corvette! Doopliss!" Bernkastel jumped to her feet and dashed at them, hugging them both as tightly as she could. "Hey, Bernk!" Corvette put an arm around her, before walking to his bed and setting down the bag of markers. Doopliss hugged Bernkastel back as well. "Sorry we took so long. We had trouble finding the room that Bynary keeps the markers in." Bernkastel grabbed a black marker and ran over to the poster. She began writing down the names of every SPUFer in the mansion. "Did I forget anyone?" Corvette took a long look over the list. He used his own black marker to write in the name of one more person. "Yes, XYTWO." "Oh, right. My mistaske, nya~" Doopliss sighed and rested his hand on Bernkastel's shoulder. "Bern, do you remember what we talked about regarding ending your sentences with 'nya~'?" Bernkastel thought for a second. Her ears perked up as the wheels started turning in her head. "Don't end your sentences with 'nya~' because the non-weeaboos think it's weird." Bernkastel's ears drooped down. She had a nervous smile on her face. "S-sorry." "Hey, guys, who should we ship Rynjin with?" Corvette stared at Rynjin's name, trying to make a connection between him and the other SPUFers. Bernkastel grabbed a red marker and started drawing a line. "Oh, Rynjin so has a thing for Idiot Cube!" "Do you guys not like Huff's shipping chart or something?" Doopliss picked up a purple marker and looked at the names. "Of course not." Bernkastel drew another red line from Silent to Razputin. "Huff's chart is based on that, oh what do they call it, ham steak?" She drew a third red line from Huff to Nitzan. "I'm not even in it." "Probably because he doesn't think it's acceptable to ship people with a cat." "Says the guy who runs around wearing nothing but a bedsheet and a party hat." Corvette put his hands over both of their mouths. "Guys. No bickering right now. Shipping." Bernkastel and Doopliss nodded back at him and focused their attention back on the shipping chart. Doopliss started to draw something until he noticed something odd about Verumae's name. "Corvette, why did you circle Verumae's name in green?" "A green circle around someone's name means narcisist. The only person who Verumae can be shipped with is Verumae." Bernkastel ran to the other end of the room. He started looking through the books on Doopliss's bookshelf. He picked up a book about using magic for cloning. "Doopliss, we should clone Verumae so that he can have someone to love." "I'll think about it." Doopliss didn't turn his attention away from the shipping chart. "By the way, what should we list the three of us as, Corv?" Bernkastel jumped back over to them and rest her head on Corvette's shoulder. "Yeah, Corv! What lines should we draw for us?" "Isn't it obvious?" Corvette grabbed a blue marker and drew lines connecting all three of them together. "We're the three amigos!" Both Bernkastel and Doopliss had depressed looks on their faces. "Oh. Yeah, you're right." They both said this as if they knew the other was about to say it too. Suddenly an alarm sounded. It was the familiar alarm of a group meeting. Everyone had to meet in the big living room on the bottom floor. "You guys go ahead to the meeting. I need to finish up a couple of things. I'll meet you there. Save me a seat." "Will do." Bernkastel and Doopliss walked out the door and headed for the meeting. Once they were gone, Corvette walked over to the door and locked it. He grabbed the red marker and pointed it towards his on name. He looked at the name he planned to draw the line to, but he hesistated. After a moment of waiting, he snapped the cap back on the marker and set the marker away. "Not today, but some day, 3fort, you'll be mine . . ." ------------------- The entirety of the mansion gathered in the giant living room. To their front was a large stage with three chairs. Bynary and Rammire were sitting in the chairs to the left and right of the stage, while Commander stood in front behind a podium, reading off of an attendance sheet. He had almost finished checking the attendance, but it seemed that one person was still missing. "Verumae . . . Verumae . . . does someone know if Verumae is here?" "Commander," Rammire called from behind him. "We spoke to Verumae earlier. He says that he refuses to come down from his level." "Well, fine. If he's going to miss this information, then so be it." Commander pounded his fist on the podium. "Alright, everyone, listen up. This mansion is going to be going through some changes here in the next few days. We're upgrading to a more useful and efficient mansion. Don't worry, you aren't being kicked out. The changes will happen around you as the days go by. You may not even notice they're there." From the crowd, Razputin shouted out. "If we won't even notice they're there, then why are we changing it?" "Well, trust me, it will make our mansion much more efficient. I mean, we have to get a leg up on the SPUD Mansion, right?" Dr. Evil Brain was the next one to protest. "We all chipped in to buy this stupid mansion, shouldn't we put it to a vote instead of letting you three make all the decisions." "What do you think this is, a democracy?" Bernkastel stood up in her chair. "Right, this is a monarchy! Bow before me, scrublords!" Commander pounded his fist on the podium again. "If you all don't shut the hell up right now, I'll banish all of you five ever!" The whole room became quiet. Commander waited to see if anyone dared to peep after that. He cleared his through and began speaking again. "In conclusion, if you see changes to the mansion over the next few days, do not be alarmed. Now, Buddha and Idiot Cube should almost be done making lunch. Everyone report to the dining hall."[/spoiler2]