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I'll be away from my gaming PC for the weekend, and will be online far less often. Try not to all die, mortals.
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I will feed on you until you are just nearly dead. You will stand on the brink of oblivion, unable to retreat but denied even a single step forward. Then when you have lost all will to either live or die, I will grant you the curse of immortality. You will serve me for eternity, a mindless thrall guided by the twin beacons of my overpowering influence and your feral hunger for blood.
No, I do not want one.