Splosion

Also I just pulled it off in four minutes nine seconds with 3449.64ml of blood remaining

however I kind of dropped one of his lungs on the floor.

Well, at least it's in there.

Oh god someone new!

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

I mean... Welcome! the kool aid is 100% safe. I promise.


Excuse me, she is neither cardboard nor kardashian. If I were to have an unhealthy relationship with a paper woman it wouldn't be one that awful. No I'd go with someone who had a little more class, like Betty White.


oh god...

Well, at least it's in there.

After recently playing through To The Moon and watching Indie Game: The Movie, I had this bizarre moment of inspiration for a game concept after seeing the amazing storytelling of to the moon and how personal Super Meat Boy was to Team Meat. I hope I can get across the idea for it well here because it is a bit abstract.

The story:


A man wakes up in his bed completely paralyzed and begins screaming for help until he finds all control of his body has been taken over by some unknown force (the player). As he's guided through the world his life goes from normal to a living hell after having this force make him steal cars, attack innocent people, perform life threatening activities, etc all the while having the avatar screaming for help regaining control of himself. Eventually he is found by a group of scientists who had survived being controlled by this force who kidnap him for testing to try to break the cycle of control.

So the story would basically revolve around turning "the fourth wall" into a mirror and taking a look at the control we as gamers have over the avatars on our screen.

I then thought more about the characters and started relating them to my childhood gaming experiences much like team meat did. I thought, "What childhood gaming icons could have escaped the control of their audience" and decided to have one of the scientists be based off of earthworm jim, which has long since moved on from the spotlight of today's gamers and afterwards decided that the player should be taking control of one still around today, super mario.

The story would eventually end with the scientists "breaking the fourth wall" (literally) by discovering a way to communicate with the player and that's when I had a real moment of inspiration. Why not achieve that by having "the scientist" as a bot profile on steam actually add the players account and then message him begging him to stop?



And here's where it gets depressing. As I thought over this idea more and more I thought back on how personal Meat Boy & Bandage Girl were to their developer. How they represented real people from his perspective and that's when I realized this entire concept was coming from a very big moment in my life.

This isn't something easy for me to talk about but many years ago my life as I knew it was snatched out from under my feet. The scouting label that had signed my band passed us up for the Heart Attacks, My girlfriend of 5 years had left me, I could no longer afford my house, and I had to move away from everyone and everything I'd known. During this time I started doing whatever drugs I could get my hands on and one night I found my limit.

The incident was so intense that I was literally a passenger in my own body. I barely recall everything that happened that night but I do recall moments of screaming inside my own mind for it to just stop. After I woke up in a holding cell and the event was over I had my wake up call and started taking the slow steps towards moving on with my life.


After that realisation this went from being just a neat concept for a game and something very personal, and I know this is never going to get made. I'm so far from a game developer but it's been itching at me to share this somehow and this seems like the best way I could do it. I have a very long track record of good concepts long forgotten so I just wanted to get this written down somewhere but feel free to discuss.

Fix'd http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyvZ04KKhFY

"Tonight on Bill O'Reilly: Mass Effect, a game by bethesda studios featuring graphic homosexual intercourse and grotesque violence drives a man to gun down children at a Connecticut elementary school"

Figured you guys might care or summat. [h=5]
[/h]

What if SPUF isn't really down and we've all just been banned and this is how they handle it now!?

Ok time for another story...




That one time a friend of mine exposed himself to hundreds of people.

So as you can see from the video in my last post, my friend Zakk isn't the brightest guy. I've never had a dull Dragoncon thanks to what he believes are good ideas. Take the time he tried to sneak into the Klingon party at the con for example, while he didn't get in they were nice enough to give him a glass of "Klingon fire wine".




I couldn't thank them enough for the aftermath...
Our second year of Dragoncon has some of my fondest memories attached to it. Meeting some of my best friends, staying up for an entire weekend straight, my discovery of as Zakk called it "the floor beating game" (Werewolf), but the best part of the year came when Zakk sold his pants for liquor money.

Let me back up a bit. Saturday morning of the con, myself, zakk, and our friend chris had gone down to the dealers room and bought kendo sticks because we wanted something to hit each other with while allowing minimal injury (plan did not work by the way). After returning to the front patio of the Hyatt Chris found a better use for his kendo stick, torturing Zakk. I watched as chris pulled Zakks boxer's out of his pants and stuck them on the end of his kendo stick, which he then used as leverage to give Zakk the most horrendous wedgie I have ever seen. He actually managed to rip the boxer's out of his pants.

After that was finished zakk rolled around on the sidewalk in pain for several minutes until he decided as much booze as he could stomach was the perfect cure for the pain, so we began party hopping. Around our third party Zakk and I ran into our friend Kat who invited us back up to her room to drink somewhere that didn't have a DJ blasting terrible rave music. Once we got to the room Kat turned to zakk and drunkenly declared "I LIKE YOUR PANTS!" Zakk was wearing a pair of those Hot Topic Tripp pants with the chains everywhere. Zakk asked her if she wanted to buy them to which she offered $20 and off zakks pants went and we were greeted with an unfortunate eyeful of genitals.

We had all completely forgotten the wedgie incident after the heavy drinking from the parties.

"Yeah. I'm going to need something to wear if you want to buy these..." Zakk added when he realized he wasn't wearing anything but a shirt. SoKat offered him the only article of clothing she was willing to part with. A plaid miniskirt. Now the skirt didn't exactly cover everything so zakk asked for a pair of underwear. Well Kat wasn't about to part with any so Zakk had to do what he's worst at. Improvise.

Zakk looked around the room and found a "soultion" to his problem. That solution was duct tape. He grabbed the roll, went into the bathroom, and after a few minutes of screaming he came back out sporting a walk that looked like a duck that crapped it's pants.

Now it was Kat's turn for a terrible idea. She decided that Zakk needed to go back out into the con in full blown drag. When she was done with him Zakk had his hair in pigtails, 18 layers of makeup, and a button down shirt tied across his chest like britney spears. I still have nightmares.

When we went back to the convention we immediately headed for the smoking deck and ran into Chris again. Once Chris saw that zakk was in a miniskirt he came to the conclusion that zakk had found more underwear so it was time for him to pull out his kendo wedgie again. Amazingly it worked and off came Zakk's improvised underwear, so did a lot of hair and skin...

Zakk rolled around yet again in even more pain and again the solution was to drink more. So zakk pulled the skirt down enough to where too much wasn't exposed and we found ourselves an elevator to take us up to the party floors. Now there's something you need to know about the Hyatt elevators...



Some of you already see where this is going...
As soon as zakk realized he was in a miniskirt on a glass elevator overlooking hundreds of people he immediately jumped up on the railings and spread eagle against the glass. Not many people noticed until chris and I realized we still had our kendo sticks with us which we then used to beat on the floor of the elevator which caused more than enough noise to get the entire lobby to turn their attention to the elevator as it rose...

I don't really like the color of the link. Maybe if it was green I'd enjoy it a bit more but otherwise nice.

Gather round children. I'm here to share with you messed up stories about my life because I'm bored, everyone seemed to like that bit about me puking on the bus, and feel like getting these written down somewhere. I'll post more after this one if anyone wants but for right now how about a short one.


That one time I made a celebrity hate me on a personal level:




Once upon a time in the mystical city of Atlanta, I was attending Dragoncon. Dragoncon is a special time of year when tens of thousands of nerds pack themselves into Atlanta's most expensive hotels for a 4 day long party that ends in a week regretting it. Now Dragoncon is not the stereotypical Sci-Fi convention the media shows you, in fact if you were passing it on the street, you'd swear it was the world's largest Halloween frat party.
Saturday night of the convention things were beginning to wind down (or the closest thing to "winding down" the convention offers) and I felt the need for a nap before more party hopping, having already been to about 12 that night and consuming close to my weight in booze. I stumbled my way to the Mariott hotel where some friends were staying to grab some floor space to sleep off my 27th drink. It was about 4 AM at the time so the wait for an elevator was fairly quick (Only 15 minutes!) and as it arrived to the lobby floor I was amazed to see only one other person on the elevator someone who looked very familiar but I couldn't place why, being incredibly drunk wasn't helping this either.





Now where have I seen this guy before?

That's right, I had stumbled upon Eric Estrada. While riding the elevator from the lobby to the 46th floor I started staring at him trying to place where I knew him from and then it hit me "OMG are you Eric Estrada!?".
You cannot imagine the amount of smugness that wiped across this mans face, as if I was about to beg for an autograph that could be sold on Ebay for thousands of dollars. "Yes I am." he replied. Then there was a moment of silence as I continued awkwardly staring at him, after realizing I was just standing there staring like some creepy stalker the first thought I had fell out of my mouth...

"That sucks..." I replied

Another awkward moment of silence as I see he is getting offended. After realizing what I had said I broke into hysterical laughter then after realizing how horrible the fact that I was laughing at how much it sucks to be him was I instantly felt terrible and stared at the floor for the remainder of our 50 story elevator ride while desperately trying to avoid eye contact.




In the next adventures of Splosion:

Doc Hammer: Why you should hate him as a human being!
Voltaire: You're career is dead, accept it already. (AKA that other time I made a celebrity hate me on a personal level)
That one time my best friend got hit on by a 90 year old woman.
The fridge is for beer, Lettuce goes in the sock drawer.
And more!

Fixed

:pinkiegasm:

This is not only game of the decade, but every decade for eternity.

This is not only game of the decade, but every decade for eternity.

Pshhh... What a tryhard. I have my movement keys bound to a tony hawk ride board, aiming mapped to a wii remote I hold under my armpit, and all other controls assigned to a guitar using the rocksmith adapter.

CS:S is a nice one. Frozen Synapse, maybe. And minecraft, if you can get Hamachi working.

After 8 years City of Heroes is shutting down tonight. All that grinding... gone forever...

Set bonuses are bad. Nerf now please.