Mersopolis

evilbrain is this u
 

There are 3 Spies that get captured. One spy is French, one is German and the other is Italian. Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room.
They torture him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to know. They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing. 4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking.
Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they finally give up and throw him back into the cell. The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy responds, " I wanted to!, but I couldn't move my hands!".

why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans play tennis? It's the only time they get love
 
What is worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
 
A woman is having a baby in a hospital, when there is suddenly complications. As soon as the baby us out, the doctors rush it down the hall. Hours later, a doctor comes walking back into the room, with the baby in arms. "Congratulations, it's a beatifuWOOAH.." and slips on some water, flinging the baby out the 4th floor window. "YOU'VE KILLED MY BABY!!!" the mother screamed. "Ahh April Fools!" he laughed, "It was dead already."

Wasn't his excuse to draw porn of obliviously underage cartoon characters that they are over the legal age of consent in his fantasy world?
 
Anyway, content.
 

Pyro spotted in Kiev.

*inhales deeply*
PISS
 
oh my god it's beautiful ; w;

yes, those are well trained thai soldiers, preparing for a parade
 
why cant the US have this?

Don't worry I fixed it

thanks?

I did. Tried to find my screencap stuff but was unable to do so.
 
One, Two, Three.
 
They looked so much better on screen though. He's so bright and shiny on there, and the hair actually looks like feathers.

I think I made an aimbotter cry 
 
He was playing heavy, so it was incredibly obvious to see he was aimbotting. Everyone immediately reported him but the admin was being slow or some shit. He was also being loud over the mic so I muted him, and then someone said "I never really understood why people aimbot, it isnt any fun"
 
So then I talked about how it indeed was a bit odd, since video games are basically a way to get a false sense of achievement (serotonin etc) and if you're cheating on that you're basically cheating on cheating on making yourself feel good about yourself and how you'd need an abysmally low amount of self-esteem to drop to that level. After a few minutes of that people said he was raging at me over the mic, and a little bit later he left the server

what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?