Medic

Welp, decided to do this.

The Setting:

The Phoviverse is set in the universe next door, one of many, many alternate and parallel universes. It was originally ruled by collections of god-like beings, known as Deitics, who were always at war with one another, creating their own species to fight their battles for them. The wars escalated until most of the Deitics had killed themselves off, leaving only two Deitic species remaining: the Anexartitai, humanoid beings that believe in pure order, that everything should be stationary with them at the top; and the Kronospasts, who believe in 'ordered chaos' and essentially letting everyone do as they please.

The two Deitic races continued their war in secret, creating two new kingdoms of being: the Vreka and the Panvok. The leading species of these kingdoms came and went, reaching a high during the Vakan/Vohra war, that killed off many Vreka and Panvok species and left others as nothing more than simple creatures. The Vakans and the Vohra realised they were being used and the Deitic races went into hiding.

Meanwhile, other species were starting to become sentient, reusing resources left behind from the ancient Deitic wars. Herdikai, bestial humanoids, started appearing in ruined Vakan cities; Thanatian Raptors, powerful dinosaur-like predators, started colonizing the jungle-filled planets of the Thanatia system; and a long-distant relative of the Vohra, known as the Retha, had managed to colonize an entire planetary system and split into four separate species.

With low numbers and falling morale, the Anexartitai took the opportunity to make a deal with some of these new species, and the Kronospasts, in a similar situation, copied them. But there's a third unknown Deitic race that's manipulating everyone's strings, as well as setting loose myriads of monsters, known as Spasmbeats, to cause generic destruction.

In order to combat the influence of the Deitic species, a council of two Anexartitai, two Kronospasts, 2 Vakans, 2 Vohra and 2 Rethavok decided to create teams of beings called Dessaron. These mixed-species teams are given special weaponry that can defeat Deitic beings and fight to keep some semblance of balance within the Phoviverse.

The Species:
A picture of everyone.

Deitic races:
Anexartitai
By far the most humanoid of all my species, Anexartitai are cold and heartless, with little care about anything other than power. Their bodies are mostly human, save for the strange face-covering masks and their bird-like talons on their hands and feet.

Kronospasts - Image
Kronospasts are generally described as crazy shapeshifters, most commonly taking the form of some sort of four-eyed Threavok-Vohra hybrid. They're generally no more than 1.5m tall and carry long staffs with which they can direct their universe-warping abilities. Kronospasts are considered to be tricksters, often giving beings what they want in exchange for their services later on.
Vreka/Panvok races:
Vakans
Hideous insect-like monsters with huge scythes for hands, a single large horn coming off their head and nasty pincers tipped with venom, the Vakans are masters of war and love to start fights. They're a patriarchal society, ruled by a series of Preftens, kings who are voted into power when the current one dies. Vakans are generally 2-3m tall but wear vast amounts of armour to make themselves scarier.

Vohra
The polar opposite of the Vakans, but still fairly insect-y, Vohra live in huge nests, ruled by queens. Their society is much like that of an ants nest. Vohra are unique as they have elemental powers, like fire, water and earth, a side effect of dabbling with ancient Deitic technologies.

Kshan
Kshan are secluded, carnivorous nomads with the ability to manipulate shadows. They have sharp spines that run down their backs. Kshan seem to come in four types:  Stratik, generic soldiers; Danke, a heavily built tanks; Anik-Nev, fast-moving scouts; and Kataskop, mysterious 'spies'.
Bayvak - Image
Bayvak are adorable critters that live similarly to Vohra, without the desire to take over the universe and none of the inflated ego that most Vohra have. Bayvak were mocked for being stuck on four legs and instead adapted by creating a form of magic with which they can manipulate nature. Their homes are created from huge, specially designed plants. Bayvak are generally 2m long and only 1m tall.

Retha races:
Rethavok - Image
The Rethavok are born warriors, spending most of their time training for battle. They are ruled by the Rethan Stratos, the equivalent of their military. They're huge beings, often more than 3m tall, with tails as long as their bodies. As well as their thick natural armour, Rethavok also wear extra armour on top.

Hertavok - Image
Often considered the perfect predator, Hertavok do everything Vakans and Vohra can do but better. They are a vampiric, clan-based race, sucking blood from their victims before boiling the remains up into soup to feed their children. While they have scythes for hands, Hertavok are inexplicably nimble and can grasp most technologies. They have also developed their own technology, specially made so only they can use it. They also have their own, incomprehensible language and the ability to use healing magics, since it's easier to mutter a few words than try and perform surgery using scythes.
Ethravok - Image
The Ethravok make literally no sense. They are both geniuses and heathens, splitting their time between hard, honest work and getting utterly plastered and having giant sex and drug parties, using the perfectly safe to use drugs that they created. They're also giants, standing at over 4m tall, sometimes reaching up to 5.7m. Ethran society has the perfect mix between capitalism and socialism, priding their best while protecting the weak.

Threavok - Image
Former slaves of the Rethavok, the Threavok were only recognised as an official species in 2003. Threavok are small, nimble hard-working creatures that live in underground city-nests, ruled by a collection of elected Threans called the Dre and protected by powerful warriors called the Ksa. They are completely self-sufficient and just want everyone to leave them alone. Oh and they have elemental powers too, caused by a Kronospast's practical joke gone very wrong.

Other races:
Thanatian Raptors - Tentative image
Often just called Thanatians, these guys are vicious reptilian predators that come in all shapes and sizes, from humanoid lizards to T-Rex like monsters to fricking dragons.

Herdikai
Best described as bone-armor-wearing bestial-humanoid monster things, the Herdikai live in one giant clan, killing anything that comes near them.
Characters
Just a list right now because I can't be bothered to write any more.
Teams:
The 13th Dessaron team: Retvik Rethianos (can never draw him right...), Arkay (you can tell I like him...), Argyros, Tenuk (bloody shapeshifter...)
The K-Class Ksa
The Three: Phovos, Mavri Thyra and Thymos
Lords of Insanity: Kohra, Levik, Tanahos
Assorted characters:
Arksi and Nenth - A young Threavok couple
Kazix, Yaksis and Kogra - Ethran TV presenters
Vex - a random Vakan
Ryse, Esvee, John, Versagetorix, Klisis, Phovisi and Chris - the cast of Multiversal Chat Time, a chat show with members of various species
Karuz, Oxys, Vexix, Tarik - various Dessaron members

I guess I should shove more art this way.

The idea of a Pool Party Cho'Gath skin (complete with little inflatable armbands around his four arms) made me write this.

...

A horrific cross between crying, screaming and gurgling filled the damp, dark room, located far below the walls of the Institute of War. Something was clearly upset about something or other and considering that this noise had been going on for ten minutes now, the other occupants of the room were starting to get annoyed.

“Pleassse, make him ssstop...” Kha'Zix covered his antennae with his large, scythe-like claw things, his wings tucked away, scared that they'd shatter from the screams.

Cho'Gath crossed two of his four arms. “He can sulk all he damn well wants. He's not going.”

“BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Kog'Maw's cries kicked into overdrive. With every gasp for breath, he'd spit yet more corrosive acid all over the place. Occasionally, he'd fall over and roll on the floor for a bit and Cho'Gath would pick him up and put him back on his feet again.

“Why can't our voidling sibling go?” Ah, good old Vel'Koz being the voice of reason.

“Because!” Cho'Gath growled.

“That is a mediocre response.” Vel'Koz tutted. “Surely you have a reason of some sort?”

Finally, Kha'Zix snapped and kicked Kog'Maw across the room, silencing the puppy-monster. Cho'Gath and Vel'Koz glanced at the over-sized insect, unsure whether to be amused or angry. Deciding on not slapping Kha'Zix around, Vel'Koz decided to repeat his question.

Cho'Gath rolled his eyes. “You know why. Kha'Zix eats everything, you're a floating eyeball with tentacles and I'm supposed to remain trapped in this room for all eternity except for when I'm summoned. Can't get Kassadin to take him as he wants to murder us all in our sleep. And Malzahar's busy today...”

“Malzzzzahar'sss busssy?” Kha'Zix asked, looking genuinely surprised. “Malzahar isss never busssy. Not in sssummer ssseason when the Annual Champion Pool Party isss near!”

More eye rolls from Cho'Gath helped explain. “He has a date. With a human. A lame, pathetic human.”

“You really think Malzahar is going to date a creature from the void? We're all hideous monsters and the female specimens back home are far worse...” Vel'Koz paused. “That reminds me. I read somewhere that some people think that Kog'Maw and Kha'Zix are female. An unusual theory. Would you like to retaliate, Kha'Zix?”

“The ssssummonersss think sssuch nonsssense. They ssssshould know all female championsss have large breasssstssss. Apart from Annie and Jinx. And Yordlesss. Yordlesss tasssssty... Kog'Maw just fat.”

Upon hearing his name a couple of times, Kog'Maw staggered back to his feet and waddled back over. Using as much cuteness as he could muster, he opened his eyes wide and asked again. “Can we go please?”

Vel'Koz attempted to smile, but not having a mouth made that feat impossible. “Why don't I take him? I an curious as to what this pool party is. You must remember, I was not around last year. Plus, there is some experimentation I wish to carry out.”

Kog'Maw was about to cheer when Kha'Zix kicked him across the room again, although the reason as to why this time was unclear. Kog'Maw retaliated with a well-aimed projectile of acidic spit, which Kha'Zix simply wiped off his face with ease and a slight stinging sensation. Cho'Gath crossed all four of his arms this time, snarling at Kha'Zix and tripping him over with his tail.

“Can Kha'Zix go too?” Kog'Maw asked. “And you too, Cho'Gath?”

“I'm not going!” Cho'Gath snapped. “I can't...”

“Galio is going...” Vel'Koz had somehow pulled out a mobile device from nowhere and was reading messages on FaceScroll. “So is Fiddlesticks, and he's supposed to be trapped up in a tower for no reason. Don't see why you can't go...”

Cho'Gath uncrossed his arms and slumped down. “It's just... the sun, it burns me.”

Vel'Koz wasn't listening, too busy reading more stuff off FaceScroll. “Hm, Janna says for everyone to bring extra sunblock since it's going to be really hot and sunny. There's a reply from Singed saying he's invented Factor 4000 sunblock that lasts all day. Apparently he's giving it out for free. Haha, and Leona made a funny joke about how cowards could just hide under her shield...”

“Ssssounds like fun. I hope Rengar will not be there though. Don't want to fight again. Alwaysss sssame conclussssion.”

“I'll ask him...” Vel'Koz tapped away at his mobile device. “He said “yea but I aint gona be doin no fightin stuff. Just gona chillax! Iz Kha gona b dere?””

“Hm...” Kha'Zix tapped his chin. “Ssssoundsss like fun. We ssshould all go. Maybe Cho'Gath can get sssome of that sssunblock from Singed?”

Vel'Koz nodded. “I'll give Singed a call and pick up some of that sublock. Are we all in agreement?”

Kog'Maw spun in circles, cheering. Everyone else just nodded.

“I'm not looking after Kog'Maw though!” Cho'Gath suddenly spouted, followed by a “Not it!” from Kha'Zix. Vel'Koz sighed and rolled his eye.

…

The pool party was on Saturday, located at 12 Demacian Pride Avenue, slap bang in the middle of Demacia. A giant swimming pool had been erected next to the large empty space that was the very edge of the Demacian Palaces. Standing with a pair of scissors, ready to open the pool was Jarvan IV, the king of Demacia, with his best buddy Garen standing to his left. First person into the pool as always was Ziggs, who'd satchel-jumped in from over 100 meters away.

There were deck chairs all around the pool, over 200 of them despite there not being 200 champions in attendance. Amusingly, a few minions had turned up, but there were also absentees, particularly Lissandra. Plus, Anivia never came to these parties. It's simply too hot for the giant bird made out of ice. Her annual jump-into-a-frozen-lake event was never as popular, unfortunately.

Along one side, grills and BBQs were burning quite happily, being tended to by a very amused Brand who was trying his best to keep at least some of the food edible. Gragas was serving drinks from his portable bar, as always. There were plenty of umbrellas and coconut drinks around, and the occasional water balloon would splash out of the pool, soaking the many sunbathing champions around the pool's edge.

In a distant corner, Vel'Koz struggled as he tried to squeeze armbands onto Kog'Maw's pointy arms. He'd burst already got through three pairs, having burst two of them and Kog'Maw eating another, so now his armbands didn't match. He hadn't seen where Kha'Zix had gotten off to, but Cho'Gath was hanging around the grills like a bad smell, obviously hungry but too shy to ask.

“Alright, Kog'Maw, you remember what I told you, right?”

Kog'Maw nodded. “Yes. Be good!”

“Alright, off you go, have fun!” Vel'Koz patted him on the back, then quickly grabbed him, something springing to mind. “You can swim, right?”

“Yes!”

“Good. I'll be over there if you need me.”

With Kog'Maw out of the way, Vel'Koz inspected the area, looking for the best place to sit. He found it right next to an unconscious, half-dressed Jinx. Opening a hole from the void, he grabbed a couple of towels and laid them across the sun bed to Jinx's left and plonked himself on it. He'd chosen well. From here, he could see many of the female champions, many of whom were sunbathing. To make this moment even better, another champion, Sona, sat down on the bed next to Vel'Koz.


Across the way, Cho'Gath finally got himself some food. Except it had been incinerated. He ate it anyway, not wanting to be wasteful, but he was nonetheless annoyed. He could have done better.

“Brand, do you need any help?” Cho'Gath suddenly found himself saying.

Brand glanced at Cho'Gath, then at the black slithers on the grill that were once slices of bacon, then back at Cho'Gath. He didn't say anything.

“Brand?”

“Please...”

With a sigh, Cho'Gath threw Brand over his shoulder and started flipping some of the burgers. Part of him wondered what the hell he was doing, but the smell of actually good tasting food spurred Cho'Gath onwards. Brand picked himself up and glared at Cho'Gath, before shrugging and wandering over to Gragas's bar and getting himself utterly plastered.

“Didn't know you could cook. But we have palace cooks for this occasion, Void being!” A hearty laugh interrupted Cho'Gath's sudden flurry of cooked meats. Cho'Gath glanced upwards ever so slightly (since he's actually rather tall) to see Garen holding a burger with a large bite out of it. At least, he thought it was Garen. All humans tend to look the same without clothes.

Cho'Gath snorted. “Better than Brand.”

Garen laughed. “I don't know why he was cooking. Jarvan called for some of his private chefs to come down here, but if you're happy, we can let you continue.”

For some reason, Cho'Gath really was happy. Sweetly cooking meat was much nicer than talking to humans, constantly putting on more sunblock or wondering whether Kha'Zix had killed anyone yet. “Yes, this does make a change...”

“I bet it does. I didn't see you here last year. Even Zac came last year and he's a ball of green goo.”

“I, um, was busy...”

“Oh...” Garen shrugged. “Well, glad you made it this year!” He laughed again, before congratulating him and asking Cho'Gath if there was anything he needed. Cho'Gath scratched his head with one of his spare arms.

“Now you mention it...”


In the pool, things were getting splashy. Ziggs was throwing water balloons at pretty much everything, and Teemo, Tristana and Poppy were all helping him. Veigar and Lulu though weren't so thrilled, being Ziggs' main victims. They'd tried complaining to Renekton, who was the lifeguard on duty, but to no avail. A couple of splashes from Nami helped calm Ziggs down for a moment, but they new it wouldn't last long.

At the shallow end of the pool though, things were calmer. Kog'Maw had found a couple of 'noodles', long pieces of foam which floated. He had no idea what they were though apart from that. He'd seen Annie and Nunu hitting each other with them, but he'd also seen Soraka wrapping one around her self and leisurely floating around the pool with it. Kog'Maw tried nibbling the end of one, but it didn't taste at all nice. He couldn't wrap it around himself or hit people with it either as his arms were too stubby. After quite a while of intently staring at it, the little monster decided to just splash bubbles at the noodle and watch it float around.


“What's your friend doing?” Rengar asked as he started on his fifth vodka and coconut drink.

Kha'Zix glanced over his shoulder towards the pool where Rengar was pointing. Kog'Maw was still playing with that noodle. “I have no idea. But thisss is nice.”

“It isssssss...” Rengar purred slightly before gulping down his drink. “You sure you're not drinking?”

“I'm not ssssssure. Not drank before.”

“Oh come on. Just one. Pleasssssse?”

“Fine...” Kha'Zix caved. He was better than Rengar in every way, he wasn't going to let Rengar be better at drinking drinks than him. Even if Kha'Zix didn't really need to drink, what with getting all his nutrients from his food and all that. Rengar roared with glee, before calling Gragas over.

“What do ya fancy, mate?”

“I don't know.”

Gragas appeared, filled with advice, although not too sure about serving a giant bug. “What do you like, sweet? Sour? Bitter?”

“Sssssweet, I guess...”

With a flash of goodness knows what, Gragas disappeared and reappeared with a purple, fizzy drink filled with ice. He topped it off with a straw, a slice of lemon and an umbrella, then promptly disappeared again. Kha'Zix inspected the drink, unsure what to do with it, Rengar pushing him to have a sip.

“That'ssss actually nice...” Kha'Zix slurped more of the drink, ignoring the lemon slice that sat at the top. In seconds, the drink was gone, and Rengar had already ordered him a second one.

“Cheersssss!”


It was weird, having people gathering around saying nice things rather than staring and poking fun at Cho'Gath. People were praising him for the food, but they were sticking around for the view. Cho'Gath assumed it was the way he flipped the burgers and stuff. Yes, it was impressive how he threw hotdogs into their buns, but it was a necessity. He couldn't get them past his big fat head otherwise. Garen had been incredibly helpful, supplying him with a spice rack and more meat, but it was the Voidlings he'd borrowed from Malzahar that were the most helpful.

He'd probably have been lost without them. A lot of the orders had been from people too lazy to get up from their deck chairs and sun beds, so Cho'Gath was using the Voidlings as waiters. Okay, one of them had drowned in the pool, despite Blitzcrank's valiant attempts to save it, and Hecarim had accidentally stepped on one, but otherwise they were doing wonders.

For a change, things were going well for Cho'Gath. Maybe he'd open a restaurant or something. He'd always liked cooking, not eating stuff raw like Kha'Zix and Kog'Maw. And not incinerated like Vel'Koz. Speaking of Vel'Koz, he'd ordered a burger or something.

It certainly occurred to Cho'Gath that he was supposed to be at a party, not cooking things to amuse people.


Vel'Koz was starting to wish he was slightly less obvious. This area was the best area for sunbathing, far away from the long shadows of the Demacian Palaces and there were quite a few sunbathing women around. Of course, Vel'Koz could have easily moved, it's just that he didn't currently have his sun bed. Someone else was sleeping on it. He wouldn't have been bothered if she wasn't sleeping on his towels. Kog'Maw was going to want to dry off later before they set off home, and if Vel'Koz couldn't get those towels back, he'd end up with an eye full of green, caustic spit.

The question was, how do you ask a topless, almost bikini-less woman to move because she's sleeping on your towels and slowly turning red?

The answer came from a tap on one of his tentacles.

“'Ello, mon ami!”

It was Twisted Fate. For some reason, the author had given him a very temporary French accent. Vel'Koz rolled his eye. Twisted Fate was the last person he wanted to see. Stupid human couldn't tell the future at all, he just threw cards at people. What's worse is that they're not even good cards, just cheap, crappy ones anyone could buy in a shop like five gold. Pretty much everyone hated Twisted Fate.

“Go away.”

“I see that you're in some sort of predicament.”

“I'm fine. Go stare at all the topless ladies somewhere else.”

Twisted Fate grinned. “That is what you are doing, no?”

“I'm conducting experiments on how quickly human flesh burns in sunlight.” Vel'Koz silently congratulated himself on his quick reply. Twisted Fate though just kept on grinning.

“So why is it that the large, scary monster is still here, among the naked ladies?”

“I want my towels back.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. Now st-”

Twisted Fate shushed Vel'Koz and pointed at Riven, the lady who was sleeping on his towels. She had threatened to roll over, but quickly rolled back onto her front.

“Why in the name of the Void did you tell me to shush?” Vel'Koz crossed his tentacles angrily as Lee Sin arrived. “Um...”


Kog'Maw's concentration was shattered as Veigar pushed past him, snatching the foam noodle and snapping it in half. At least this time his concentration had been broken by Veigar and not Ziggs. On the downside, he no longer had a foam noodle. Veigar sat angrily on the side of the pool, tutting and cursing. Lulu swam up, sighing.

“Come on, Veigar, don't get angry! Me and Pix will play a trick on them later!” She tried to cheer Veigar up but it was no use. Then she noticed Kog'Maw and the broken noodle. “Oh, hello!”

“Hello!” Kog'Maw squeaked back.

“Is Ziggs bothering you too?” Lulu asked as she picked up the two bits of foam and tried to stick them together. “I think he's bothering everyone.”

“Yes, he is!” Kog'Maw growled. “Splash splash splash. We splash back?” He swished his tail around, splashing water over the edge of the pool. Veigar though was still not amused. He huffed and puffed and wished he'd brought his magical stuff with him. Across the pool, Ziggs, Teemo and Tristana were ganging up against Soraka, knocking her over, before attacking an unsuspecting Graves floating on a lilo and tipping Jax out of his inflatable rubber ring.

“What's the use?” Veigar grunted. “They've got infinite water balloons and way more range than we have!”

Lulu slumped down next to Veigar. “I guess you're right...”

“Wait!” Kog'Maw leaped up next to them. “Have idea!”


Kha'Zix had lost count of how many drinks he'd had. He was certain though that it was the same number of drinks that Rengar'd had. Well, not certain, but fairly sure. He was glad that the drinks were all inclusive though, because Kha'Zix didn't have any money on him. He didn't really need money, as food was always provided by the forests. Then again, he probably ought to carry money. Even Kog'Maw carried a pile of change in one of the pouches in his mouth.

Why was Kha'Zix thinking about that? He couldn't remember. Oh yeah, the drinks. He'd had more than just the purple one. He'd had a sweet green one, a sour citrus one, a clear, incredibly fizzy one and all sorts. He was surprised that Gragas's bar was still open. Not to mention what everyone else had drunk.

The oversized insect stood up from his stool, wobbled around a bit and decided that maybe remaining seated was a better idea.

“Rengar, are you okay?”

“Mmmmph...”

“Rengar?” Kha'Zix poked his drinking buddy. His drinking buddy though got angry.

“Whatdidyousay?” The drunk cat sat up, glaring at Kha'Zix. Kha'Zix suddenly remembered why he'd never gone out and had drinks with his mortal enemy before.


Lulu handed one of the foam noodles and a small water pistol that she had 'borrowed' from Miss Fortune to Veigar. Veigar struggled his way up Kog'Maw's back, clinging on to one of Kog'maw's tendrils, before helping Lulu up too.

“Ready?” Lulu asked.

“We go!” Kog'Maw growled as he leaped into the water, kicking his legs furiously. Then he started using his tail too and they were away! Ziggs though had noticed the sudden splashing at the shallow end of the pool. He commandeered Graves' lilo, grabbing Teemo and Tristana, who started bombarding the trio with water balloons and the occasional sponge ball. Ziggs finished off with a giant water balloon, filled with several gallons of water.

But it wasn't enough. As the waves calmed down, Kog'Maw started speeding towards their target. Lulu and Veigar fired their water pistols with precise aim. As they got closer, Lulu whacked Teemo with her foam noodle, knocking him off balance and clinging for dear life to the back of the lilo.

“Steering is down! Steering is down!” Ziggs laughed maniacally as he continued his barrage, only to realise that Kog'Maw had caught a couple of unexploded balloons and was now spitting them back at him.

Reinforcements for Ziggs arrived in the form of Poppy and Rumble, who had made some sort of strange, inflatable machine out of rubber rings, noodles, beach balls and other floating objects. Unfortunately, they didn't last long as Kog'Maw fired torrents of water at them, while Veigar destabilized them with his foam noodle. Poppy flailed as she fell into the water and Rumble clambered desperately to the one remaining inflatable rubber ring, before slipping off and falling into the water.

“You iiiiidiots!” Ziggs shouted as he doubled his water balloon barrage, scoring a direct hit on Lulu. She wobbled, grabbing on one of Kog'Maw's free tendrils and only just saving herself.

“You scum!” Veigar was aaaaaangry. He grabbed his noodle and threw it as a javelin. It wibbled and wobbled through the air, narrowly missing Ziggs but knocking Tristana off the lilo completely.

“Me? Scum? Hahahaah!” The two yordles continued throwing insults at each other, while the other Yordles struggled to climb back onto their various inflatable vehicles. But Ziggs had a final trick up his sleeve. Or in his swimming cap at least. He pulled off his hat and goggles to reveal that in fact his swimming cap was the water balloon to end all water balloons.


Twisted Fate held his jaw in his hands, clutching his face tightly. He stuttered and mumbled something, before collapsing on the ground. Lee Sin was not amused. Twisted Fate had failed to lie his way out of that situation, and now it was Vel'Koz's turn to try and save himself.

“I really was not looking at Sona. I swear.”

“You are a giant eyeball. How can I believe that?” Behind him, Sona was trying to tell Lee Sin to not get angry, but being unable to speak makes that rather tricky. “You are almost perfectly designed for pervertedness!”

“I can't help how I look, the same way you can't help being blind.” Thinking back over those words, Vel'Koz was starting to think he'd slipped up. “I mean, um, Sona is beautiful but I am not interested. I didn't even know you two were dating...”

Lee Sin was having none of it. He clenched his fists, took a deep breath then mustered up some drunken energy and directed it directly at Vel'Koz.


“You're gonna get it now!”

Ziggs boasted as he readied his giant water balloon of doom. Teemo and Tristana had finally managed to clamber back onto Ziggs' lilo. Suddenly, a large, purple and gold, eyeball-and-tentacle shaped blob flew through the air, heading straight towards them.

“Oh crap...” Teemo muttered as Vel'Koz landed on top of the three Yordles, capsizing their lilo and sending them all careering off into the water. Then Kha'Zix and Rengar did the exact same thing.


“So, did you get your towels back?” Cho'Gath yawned as he opened the door to the Voidborn living quarters, utterly exhausted but feeling vaguely pleased with himself.

“No. Riven took both my towels home with her. And all I get is one enormous black eye...” Vel'Koz held a bag of frozen peas to his head. “Thanks for the cold bag, by the way. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“I did actually. The humans enjoyed my cooking skills and my entertainment value. Perhaps if I keep it up, the summoners will allow me to leave the Institute more often.”

“Pfffft, assss if!” Kha'Zix wobbled past Cho'Gath, before passing out on the floor. Cho'gath sighed and dragged him inside, with Vel'Koz closing the door behind him.

“Ignore him. You could do with more humans appreciating you. You must get very lonely at times. We all do. Especially Kog'Maw... Wait...” Vel'Koz dropped the bag of peas. “We forgot Kog'Maw! Oh dear, we must go back and get him! We must...”

Cho'Gath laughed heartily, patting his fellow Voidling. “We didn't forget him, remember?”

“No? I've got a, um, head injury, you know...”

Cho'Gath laughed again, helping Vel'Koz inside and towards something to sit on. “You'll be fine. As for Kog'Maw? He's fine as well...”


Most of the champions had gone home, but some still remained, sitting around a small fire, made from the remains of a barbecue. Most of the remaining beings were Yordles, but one of them, being twice their size, clearly wasn't. Long into the night, the champions danced, drank and sang merrily, telling stories about their great feats, about the sights they'd seen and about the great day they'd just had.

Kog'Maw wagged his tail happily, glad that he was allowed to go to the pool party afterall.

I guess I should shove more art this way.

More art.

I guess I should shove more art this way.

Welp, decided to do this.

The Setting:

The Phoviverse is set in the universe next door, one of many, many alternate and parallel universes. It was originally ruled by collections of god-like beings, known as Deitics, who were always at war with one another, creating their own species to fight their battles for them. The wars escalated until most of the Deitics had killed themselves off, leaving only two Deitic species remaining: the Anexartitai, humanoid beings that believe in pure order, that everything should be stationary with them at the top; and the Kronospasts, who believe in 'ordered chaos' and essentially letting everyone do as they please.

The two Deitic races continued their war in secret, creating two new kingdoms of being: the Vreka and the Panvok. The leading species of these kingdoms came and went, reaching a high during the Vakan/Vohra war, that killed off many Vreka and Panvok species and left others as nothing more than simple creatures. The Vakans and the Vohra realised they were being used and the Deitic races went into hiding.

Meanwhile, other species were starting to become sentient, reusing resources left behind from the ancient Deitic wars. Herdikai, bestial humanoids, started appearing in ruined Vakan cities; Thanatian Raptors, powerful dinosaur-like predators, started colonizing the jungle-filled planets of the Thanatia system; and a long-distant relative of the Vohra, known as the Retha, had managed to colonize an entire planetary system and split into four separate species.

With low numbers and falling morale, the Anexartitai took the opportunity to make a deal with some of these new species, and the Kronospasts, in a similar situation, copied them. But there's a third unknown Deitic race that's manipulating everyone's strings, as well as setting loose myriads of monsters, known as Spasmbeats, to cause generic destruction.

In order to combat the influence of the Deitic species, a council of two Anexartitai, two Kronospasts, 2 Vakans, 2 Vohra and 2 Rethavok decided to create teams of beings called Dessaron. These mixed-species teams are given special weaponry that can defeat Deitic beings and fight to keep some semblance of balance within the Phoviverse.

The Species:
A picture of everyone.

Deitic races:
Anexartitai
By far the most humanoid of all my species, Anexartitai are cold and heartless, with little care about anything other than power. Their bodies are mostly human, save for the strange face-covering masks and their bird-like talons on their hands and feet.

Kronospasts - Image
Kronospasts are generally described as crazy shapeshifters, most commonly taking the form of some sort of four-eyed Threavok-Vohra hybrid. They're generally no more than 1.5m tall and carry long staffs with which they can direct their universe-warping abilities. Kronospasts are considered to be tricksters, often giving beings what they want in exchange for their services later on.
Vreka/Panvok races:
Vakans
Hideous insect-like monsters with huge scythes for hands, a single large horn coming off their head and nasty pincers tipped with venom, the Vakans are masters of war and love to start fights. They're a patriarchal society, ruled by a series of Preftens, kings who are voted into power when the current one dies. Vakans are generally 2-3m tall but wear vast amounts of armour to make themselves scarier.

Vohra
The polar opposite of the Vakans, but still fairly insect-y, Vohra live in huge nests, ruled by queens. Their society is much like that of an ants nest. Vohra are unique as they have elemental powers, like fire, water and earth, a side effect of dabbling with ancient Deitic technologies.

Kshan
Kshan are secluded, carnivorous nomads with the ability to manipulate shadows. They have sharp spines that run down their backs. Kshan seem to come in four types:  Stratik, generic soldiers; Danke, a heavily built tanks; Anik-Nev, fast-moving scouts; and Kataskop, mysterious 'spies'.
Bayvak - Image
Bayvak are adorable critters that live similarly to Vohra, without the desire to take over the universe and none of the inflated ego that most Vohra have. Bayvak were mocked for being stuck on four legs and instead adapted by creating a form of magic with which they can manipulate nature. Their homes are created from huge, specially designed plants. Bayvak are generally 2m long and only 1m tall.

Retha races:
Rethavok - Image
The Rethavok are born warriors, spending most of their time training for battle. They are ruled by the Rethan Stratos, the equivalent of their military. They're huge beings, often more than 3m tall, with tails as long as their bodies. As well as their thick natural armour, Rethavok also wear extra armour on top.

Hertavok - Image
Often considered the perfect predator, Hertavok do everything Vakans and Vohra can do but better. They are a vampiric, clan-based race, sucking blood from their victims before boiling the remains up into soup to feed their children. While they have scythes for hands, Hertavok are inexplicably nimble and can grasp most technologies. They have also developed their own technology, specially made so only they can use it. They also have their own, incomprehensible language and the ability to use healing magics, since it's easier to mutter a few words than try and perform surgery using scythes.
Ethravok - Image
The Ethravok make literally no sense. They are both geniuses and heathens, splitting their time between hard, honest work and getting utterly plastered and having giant sex and drug parties, using the perfectly safe to use drugs that they created. They're also giants, standing at over 4m tall, sometimes reaching up to 5.7m. Ethran society has the perfect mix between capitalism and socialism, priding their best while protecting the weak.

Threavok - Image
Former slaves of the Rethavok, the Threavok were only recognised as an official species in 2003. Threavok are small, nimble hard-working creatures that live in underground city-nests, ruled by a collection of elected Threans called the Dre and protected by powerful warriors called the Ksa. They are completely self-sufficient and just want everyone to leave them alone. Oh and they have elemental powers too, caused by a Kronospast's practical joke gone very wrong.

Other races:
Thanatian Raptors - Tentative image
Often just called Thanatians, these guys are vicious reptilian predators that come in all shapes and sizes, from humanoid lizards to T-Rex like monsters to fricking dragons.

Herdikai
Best described as bone-armor-wearing bestial-humanoid monster things, the Herdikai live in one giant clan, killing anything that comes near them.
Characters
Just a list right now because I can't be bothered to write any more.
Teams:
The 13th Dessaron team: Retvik Rethianos (can never draw him right...), Arkay (you can tell I like him...), Argyros, Tenuk (bloody shapeshifter...)
The K-Class Ksa
The Three: Phovos, Mavri Thyra and Thymos
Lords of Insanity: Kohra, Levik, Tanahos
Assorted characters:
Arksi and Nenth - A young Threavok couple
Kazix, Yaksis and Kogra - Ethran TV presenters
Vex - a random Vakan
Ryse, Esvee, John, Versagetorix, Klisis, Phovisi and Chris - the cast of Multiversal Chat Time, a chat show with members of various species
Karuz, Oxys, Vexix, Tarik - various Dessaron members

Welp, decided to do this.

The Setting:

The Phoviverse is set in the universe next door, one of many, many alternate and parallel universes. It was originally ruled by collections of god-like beings, known as Deitics, who were always at war with one another, creating their own species to fight their battles for them. The wars escalated until most of the Deitics had killed themselves off, leaving only two Deitic species remaining: the Anexartitai, humanoid beings that believe in pure order, that everything should be stationary with them at the top; and the Kronospasts, who believe in 'ordered chaos' and essentially letting everyone do as they please.

The two Deitic races continued their war in secret, creating two new kingdoms of being: the Vreka and the Panvok. The leading species of these kingdoms came and went, reaching a high during the Vakan/Vohra war, that killed off many Vreka and Panvok species and left others as nothing more than simple creatures. The Vakans and the Vohra realised they were being used and the Deitic races went into hiding.

Meanwhile, other species were starting to become sentient, reusing resources left behind from the ancient Deitic wars. Herdikai, bestial humanoids, started appearing in ruined Vakan cities; Thanatian Raptors, powerful dinosaur-like predators, started colonizing the jungle-filled planets of the Thanatia system; and a long-distant relative of the Vohra, known as the Retha, had managed to colonize an entire planetary system and split into four separate species.

With low numbers and falling morale, the Anexartitai took the opportunity to make a deal with some of these new species, and the Kronospasts, in a similar situation, copied them. But there's a third unknown Deitic race that's manipulating everyone's strings, as well as setting loose myriads of monsters, known as Spasmbeats, to cause generic destruction.

In order to combat the influence of the Deitic species, a council of two Anexartitai, two Kronospasts, 2 Vakans, 2 Vohra and 2 Rethavok decided to create teams of beings called Dessaron. These mixed-species teams are given special weaponry that can defeat Deitic beings and fight to keep some semblance of balance within the Phoviverse.

The Species:
A picture of everyone.

Deitic races:
Anexartitai
By far the most humanoid of all my species, Anexartitai are cold and heartless, with little care about anything other than power. Their bodies are mostly human, save for the strange face-covering masks and their bird-like talons on their hands and feet.

Kronospasts - Image
Kronospasts are generally described as crazy shapeshifters, most commonly taking the form of some sort of four-eyed Threavok-Vohra hybrid. They're generally no more than 1.5m tall and carry long staffs with which they can direct their universe-warping abilities. Kronospasts are considered to be tricksters, often giving beings what they want in exchange for their services later on.
Vreka/Panvok races:
Vakans
Hideous insect-like monsters with huge scythes for hands, a single large horn coming off their head and nasty pincers tipped with venom, the Vakans are masters of war and love to start fights. They're a patriarchal society, ruled by a series of Preftens, kings who are voted into power when the current one dies. Vakans are generally 2-3m tall but wear vast amounts of armour to make themselves scarier.

Vohra
The polar opposite of the Vakans, but still fairly insect-y, Vohra live in huge nests, ruled by queens. Their society is much like that of an ants nest. Vohra are unique as they have elemental powers, like fire, water and earth, a side effect of dabbling with ancient Deitic technologies.

Kshan
Kshan are secluded, carnivorous nomads with the ability to manipulate shadows. They have sharp spines that run down their backs. Kshan seem to come in four types:  Stratik, generic soldiers; Danke, a heavily built tanks; Anik-Nev, fast-moving scouts; and Kataskop, mysterious 'spies'.
Bayvak - Image
Bayvak are adorable critters that live similarly to Vohra, without the desire to take over the universe and none of the inflated ego that most Vohra have. Bayvak were mocked for being stuck on four legs and instead adapted by creating a form of magic with which they can manipulate nature. Their homes are created from huge, specially designed plants. Bayvak are generally 2m long and only 1m tall.

Retha races:
Rethavok - Image
The Rethavok are born warriors, spending most of their time training for battle. They are ruled by the Rethan Stratos, the equivalent of their military. They're huge beings, often more than 3m tall, with tails as long as their bodies. As well as their thick natural armour, Rethavok also wear extra armour on top.

Hertavok - Image
Often considered the perfect predator, Hertavok do everything Vakans and Vohra can do but better. They are a vampiric, clan-based race, sucking blood from their victims before boiling the remains up into soup to feed their children. While they have scythes for hands, Hertavok are inexplicably nimble and can grasp most technologies. They have also developed their own technology, specially made so only they can use it. They also have their own, incomprehensible language and the ability to use healing magics, since it's easier to mutter a few words than try and perform surgery using scythes.
Ethravok - Image
The Ethravok make literally no sense. They are both geniuses and heathens, splitting their time between hard, honest work and getting utterly plastered and having giant sex and drug parties, using the perfectly safe to use drugs that they created. They're also giants, standing at over 4m tall, sometimes reaching up to 5.7m. Ethran society has the perfect mix between capitalism and socialism, priding their best while protecting the weak.

Threavok - Image
Former slaves of the Rethavok, the Threavok were only recognised as an official species in 2003. Threavok are small, nimble hard-working creatures that live in underground city-nests, ruled by a collection of elected Threans called the Dre and protected by powerful warriors called the Ksa. They are completely self-sufficient and just want everyone to leave them alone. Oh and they have elemental powers too, caused by a Kronospast's practical joke gone very wrong.

Other races:
Thanatian Raptors - Tentative image
Often just called Thanatians, these guys are vicious reptilian predators that come in all shapes and sizes, from humanoid lizards to T-Rex like monsters to fricking dragons.

Herdikai
Best described as bone-armor-wearing bestial-humanoid monster things, the Herdikai live in one giant clan, killing anything that comes near them.
Characters
Just a list right now because I can't be bothered to write any more.
Teams:
The 13th Dessaron team: Retvik Rethianos (can never draw him right...), Arkay (you can tell I like him...), Argyros, Tenuk (bloody shapeshifter...)
The K-Class Ksa
The Three: Phovos, Mavri Thyra and Thymos
Lords of Insanity: Kohra, Levik, Tanahos
Assorted characters:
Arksi and Nenth - A young Threavok couple
Kazix, Yaksis and Kogra - Ethran TV presenters
Vex - a random Vakan
Ryse, Esvee, John, Versagetorix, Klisis, Phovisi and Chris - the cast of Multiversal Chat Time, a chat show with members of various species
Karuz, Oxys, Vexix, Tarik - various Dessaron members

Welp, decided to do this.

The Setting:

The Phoviverse is set in the universe next door, one of many, many alternate and parallel universes. It was originally ruled by collections of god-like beings, known as Deitics, who were always at war with one another, creating their own species to fight their battles for them. The wars escalated until most of the Deitics had killed themselves off, leaving only two Deitic species remaining: the Anexartitai, humanoid beings that believe in pure order, that everything should be stationary with them at the top; and the Kronospasts, who believe in 'ordered chaos' and essentially letting everyone do as they please.

The two Deitic races continued their war in secret, creating two new kingdoms of being: the Vreka and the Panvok. The leading species of these kingdoms came and went, reaching a high during the Vakan/Vohra war, that killed off many Vreka and Panvok species and left others as nothing more than simple creatures. The Vakans and the Vohra realised they were being used and the Deitic races went into hiding.

Meanwhile, other species were starting to become sentient, reusing resources left behind from the ancient Deitic wars. Herdikai, bestial humanoids, started appearing in ruined Vakan cities; Thanatian Raptors, powerful dinosaur-like predators, started colonizing the jungle-filled planets of the Thanatia system; and a long-distant relative of the Vohra, known as the Retha, had managed to colonize an entire planetary system and split into four separate species.

With low numbers and falling morale, the Anexartitai took the opportunity to make a deal with some of these new species, and the Kronospasts, in a similar situation, copied them. But there's a third unknown Deitic race that's manipulating everyone's strings, as well as setting loose myriads of monsters, known as Spasmbeats, to cause generic destruction.

In order to combat the influence of the Deitic species, a council of two Anexartitai, two Kronospasts, 2 Vakans, 2 Vohra and 2 Rethavok decided to create teams of beings called Dessaron. These mixed-species teams are given special weaponry that can defeat Deitic beings and fight to keep some semblance of balance within the Phoviverse.

The Species:
A picture of everyone.

Deitic races:
Anexartitai
By far the most humanoid of all my species, Anexartitai are cold and heartless, with little care about anything other than power. Their bodies are mostly human, save for the strange face-covering masks and their bird-like talons on their hands and feet.

Kronospasts - Image
Kronospasts are generally described as crazy shapeshifters, most commonly taking the form of some sort of four-eyed Threavok-Vohra hybrid. They're generally no more than 1.5m tall and carry long staffs with which they can direct their universe-warping abilities. Kronospasts are considered to be tricksters, often giving beings what they want in exchange for their services later on.
Vreka/Panvok races:
Vakans
Hideous insect-like monsters with huge scythes for hands, a single large horn coming off their head and nasty pincers tipped with venom, the Vakans are masters of war and love to start fights. They're a patriarchal society, ruled by a series of Preftens, kings who are voted into power when the current one dies. Vakans are generally 2-3m tall but wear vast amounts of armour to make themselves scarier.

Vohra
The polar opposite of the Vakans, but still fairly insect-y, Vohra live in huge nests, ruled by queens. Their society is much like that of an ants nest. Vohra are unique as they have elemental powers, like fire, water and earth, a side effect of dabbling with ancient Deitic technologies.

Kshan
Kshan are secluded, carnivorous nomads with the ability to manipulate shadows. They have sharp spines that run down their backs. Kshan seem to come in four types:  Stratik, generic soldiers; Danke, a heavily built tanks; Anik-Nev, fast-moving scouts; and Kataskop, mysterious 'spies'.
Bayvak - Image
Bayvak are adorable critters that live similarly to Vohra, without the desire to take over the universe and none of the inflated ego that most Vohra have. Bayvak were mocked for being stuck on four legs and instead adapted by creating a form of magic with which they can manipulate nature. Their homes are created from huge, specially designed plants. Bayvak are generally 2m long and only 1m tall.

Retha races:
Rethavok - Image
The Rethavok are born warriors, spending most of their time training for battle. They are ruled by the Rethan Stratos, the equivalent of their military. They're huge beings, often more than 3m tall, with tails as long as their bodies. As well as their thick natural armour, Rethavok also wear extra armour on top.

Hertavok - Image
Often considered the perfect predator, Hertavok do everything Vakans and Vohra can do but better. They are a vampiric, clan-based race, sucking blood from their victims before boiling the remains up into soup to feed their children. While they have scythes for hands, Hertavok are inexplicably nimble and can grasp most technologies. They have also developed their own technology, specially made so only they can use it. They also have their own, incomprehensible language and the ability to use healing magics, since it's easier to mutter a few words than try and perform surgery using scythes.
Ethravok - Image
The Ethravok make literally no sense. They are both geniuses and heathens, splitting their time between hard, honest work and getting utterly plastered and having giant sex and drug parties, using the perfectly safe to use drugs that they created. They're also giants, standing at over 4m tall, sometimes reaching up to 5.7m. Ethran society has the perfect mix between capitalism and socialism, priding their best while protecting the weak.

Threavok - Image
Former slaves of the Rethavok, the Threavok were only recognised as an official species in 2003. Threavok are small, nimble hard-working creatures that live in underground city-nests, ruled by a collection of elected Threans called the Dre and protected by powerful warriors called the Ksa. They are completely self-sufficient and just want everyone to leave them alone. Oh and they have elemental powers too, caused by a Kronospast's practical joke gone very wrong.

Other races:
Thanatian Raptors - Tentative image
Often just called Thanatians, these guys are vicious reptilian predators that come in all shapes and sizes, from humanoid lizards to T-Rex like monsters to fricking dragons.

Herdikai
Best described as bone-armor-wearing bestial-humanoid monster things, the Herdikai live in one giant clan, killing anything that comes near them.
Characters
Just a list right now because I can't be bothered to write any more.
Teams:
The 13th Dessaron team: Retvik Rethianos (can never draw him right...), Arkay (you can tell I like him...), Argyros, Tenuk (bloody shapeshifter...)
The K-Class Ksa
The Three: Phovos, Mavri Thyra and Thymos
Lords of Insanity: Kohra, Levik, Tanahos
Assorted characters:
Arksi and Nenth - A young Threavok couple
Kazix, Yaksis and Kogra - Ethran TV presenters
Vex - a random Vakan
Ryse, Esvee, John, Versagetorix, Klisis, Phovisi and Chris - the cast of Multiversal Chat Time, a chat show with members of various species
Karuz, Oxys, Vexix, Tarik - various Dessaron members

Welp, decided to do this.

The Setting:

The Phoviverse is set in the universe next door, one of many, many alternate and parallel universes. It was originally ruled by collections of god-like beings, known as Deitics, who were always at war with one another, creating their own species to fight their battles for them. The wars escalated until most of the Deitics had killed themselves off, leaving only two Deitic species remaining: the Anexartitai, humanoid beings that believe in pure order, that everything should be stationary with them at the top; and the Kronospasts, who believe in 'ordered chaos' and essentially letting everyone do as they please.

The two Deitic races continued their war in secret, creating two new kingdoms of being: the Vreka and the Panvok. The leading species of these kingdoms came and went, reaching a high during the Vakan/Vohra war, that killed off many Vreka and Panvok species and left others as nothing more than simple creatures. The Vakans and the Vohra realised they were being used and the Deitic races went into hiding.

Meanwhile, other species were starting to become sentient, reusing resources left behind from the ancient Deitic wars. Herdikai, bestial humanoids, started appearing in ruined Vakan cities; Thanatian Raptors, powerful dinosaur-like predators, started colonizing the jungle-filled planets of the Thanatia system; and a long-distant relative of the Vohra, known as the Retha, had managed to colonize an entire planetary system and split into four separate species.

With low numbers and falling morale, the Anexartitai took the opportunity to make a deal with some of these new species, and the Kronospasts, in a similar situation, copied them. But there's a third unknown Deitic race that's manipulating everyone's strings, as well as setting loose myriads of monsters, known as Spasmbeats, to cause generic destruction.

In order to combat the influence of the Deitic species, a council of two Anexartitai, two Kronospasts, 2 Vakans, 2 Vohra and 2 Rethavok decided to create teams of beings called Dessaron. These mixed-species teams are given special weaponry that can defeat Deitic beings and fight to keep some semblance of balance within the Phoviverse.

The Species:
A picture of everyone.

Deitic races:
Anexartitai
By far the most humanoid of all my species, Anexartitai are cold and heartless, with little care about anything other than power. Their bodies are mostly human, save for the strange face-covering masks and their bird-like talons on their hands and feet.

Kronospasts - Image
Kronospasts are generally described as crazy shapeshifters, most commonly taking the form of some sort of four-eyed Threavok-Vohra hybrid. They're generally no more than 1.5m tall and carry long staffs with which they can direct their universe-warping abilities. Kronospasts are considered to be tricksters, often giving beings what they want in exchange for their services later on.
Vreka/Panvok races:
Vakans
Hideous insect-like monsters with huge scythes for hands, a single large horn coming off their head and nasty pincers tipped with venom, the Vakans are masters of war and love to start fights. They're a patriarchal society, ruled by a series of Preftens, kings who are voted into power when the current one dies. Vakans are generally 2-3m tall but wear vast amounts of armour to make themselves scarier.

Vohra
The polar opposite of the Vakans, but still fairly insect-y, Vohra live in huge nests, ruled by queens. Their society is much like that of an ants nest. Vohra are unique as they have elemental powers, like fire, water and earth, a side effect of dabbling with ancient Deitic technologies.

Kshan
Kshan are secluded, carnivorous nomads with the ability to manipulate shadows. They have sharp spines that run down their backs. Kshan seem to come in four types:  Stratik, generic soldiers; Danke, a heavily built tanks; Anik-Nev, fast-moving scouts; and Kataskop, mysterious 'spies'.
Bayvak - Image
Bayvak are adorable critters that live similarly to Vohra, without the desire to take over the universe and none of the inflated ego that most Vohra have. Bayvak were mocked for being stuck on four legs and instead adapted by creating a form of magic with which they can manipulate nature. Their homes are created from huge, specially designed plants. Bayvak are generally 2m long and only 1m tall.

Retha races:
Rethavok - Image
The Rethavok are born warriors, spending most of their time training for battle. They are ruled by the Rethan Stratos, the equivalent of their military. They're huge beings, often more than 3m tall, with tails as long as their bodies. As well as their thick natural armour, Rethavok also wear extra armour on top.

Hertavok - Image
Often considered the perfect predator, Hertavok do everything Vakans and Vohra can do but better. They are a vampiric, clan-based race, sucking blood from their victims before boiling the remains up into soup to feed their children. While they have scythes for hands, Hertavok are inexplicably nimble and can grasp most technologies. They have also developed their own technology, specially made so only they can use it. They also have their own, incomprehensible language and the ability to use healing magics, since it's easier to mutter a few words than try and perform surgery using scythes.
Ethravok - Image
The Ethravok make literally no sense. They are both geniuses and heathens, splitting their time between hard, honest work and getting utterly plastered and having giant sex and drug parties, using the perfectly safe to use drugs that they created. They're also giants, standing at over 4m tall, sometimes reaching up to 5.7m. Ethran society has the perfect mix between capitalism and socialism, priding their best while protecting the weak.

Threavok - Image
Former slaves of the Rethavok, the Threavok were only recognised as an official species in 2003. Threavok are small, nimble hard-working creatures that live in underground city-nests, ruled by a collection of elected Threans called the Dre and protected by powerful warriors called the Ksa. They are completely self-sufficient and just want everyone to leave them alone. Oh and they have elemental powers too, caused by a Kronospast's practical joke gone very wrong.

Other races:
Thanatian Raptors - Tentative image
Often just called Thanatians, these guys are vicious reptilian predators that come in all shapes and sizes, from humanoid lizards to T-Rex like monsters to fricking dragons.

Herdikai
Best described as bone-armor-wearing bestial-humanoid monster things, the Herdikai live in one giant clan, killing anything that comes near them.
Characters
Just a list right now because I can't be bothered to write any more.
Teams:
The 13th Dessaron team: Retvik Rethianos (can never draw him right...), Arkay (you can tell I like him...), Argyros, Tenuk (bloody shapeshifter...)
The K-Class Ksa
The Three: Phovos, Mavri Thyra and Thymos
Lords of Insanity: Kohra, Levik, Tanahos
Assorted characters:
Arksi and Nenth - A young Threavok couple
Kazix, Yaksis and Kogra - Ethran TV presenters
Vex - a random Vakan
Ryse, Esvee, John, Versagetorix, Klisis, Phovisi and Chris - the cast of Multiversal Chat Time, a chat show with members of various species
Karuz, Oxys, Vexix, Tarik - various Dessaron members

The main problems with TF2 right now are:
 
1. Serious lack of optimization, each update seems to reduce performance and increasing crashes, when I play TF2 my video card randomly crashes, but it didnt did that years ago. Pick a vanilla copy of TF2 (if you have the DVD), install it and check how better it runs.
 
2. It became a testing field for Dota 2 and CSGO and their markets. See expiring hats, rare crates, chemestry sets, strange parts.
 
3. No interest from Valve to actually do something, TF2 gives them money even if they dont add shit for a year. Every once Hell freezes over, Valve actually adds something they did. Usually its all about community made hats, costing $10+, in a crate that needs a special key so people buy new keys.
 
The only thing that is keeping the community interested are the comic (that now takes 4 months per chapter) and the (another) community made update, made by a butthurt guy, which will have another billion of community made hats in a special crate.

Wow... Looks like you made a dece-
 
YOU FAILED MISERABLY

Literally speechless. 
 

It's a map of maps.

It's a map of maps.

It's a map of maps.

I put my two favourite things together.

Yeah.

Having just been invited to this place, what better thing to do than show off my creations?
My deviantart: http://icbmoose.deviantart.com/

Feet are good.
 
Wierdass landscapes are good.
 
Clown heads are good.
 

Pyros are good.
 

I don't know what this is, but it's good.

I love this one because it's both goofy and impressive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnQBfvmf0E