Verumae

Congratulations, Rammite, on your acceptance into a hat-money-acquisition program.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S WORKING AT IBM

Recently bought some Hefty brand Green Apple scented trash bags.
These are the most delicious smelling pieces of plastic ever created. My trash can smells like it's full of green Jolly Ranchers.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/hacktivism-gone-too-far-anonymous-just-leaked-pres-2409?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter

witty's avatar always looks like the shitty drawing of sonic to me
when I look at it closely I can make out the weird guy from the gorillaz or whatever but just seeing the eyes and the mouth makes it look like sonic

as of yesterday morning I am officially NEET

​
did you consider the possibility that it's a good tattoo and just an ugly child?

​Just to be sure, test it on me.

a year ago I couldn't run a quarter mile without stopping, I'm up to about 20 miles a week and I'm training for a triathlon
 
with that said, wisdom bomb incoming:
there is no better feeling in the world than having the legs of the girl you love wrapped around your head
except experiencing azeroth for the first time
https://en.nostalrius.org/

​Man, usually I like xkcd but the author's really letting his "nerd with a grudge against jocks" side come out here.
That argument can be applied to literally any form of cheating, like using aimbots.
"Our video games are just 0s and 1s, but some people use programs that change the 0s and 1s to work differently and they win contests!"
I'm not interested in sports at all, but I'm pretty sure nobody wants to see a competition between whose doping regimen is best, they want to see who's the best pitcher/batter/tennis player.
 

the time warner guys came by today because apparently we were eligible for a free upgrade


 
jesus tap dancing christ i'm scared

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

it took so long to kick in that I thought my guy fucked me 
after about an hour I started feeling giggly 
I spent about two hours just fucking around, it was very serene but I wasn't able to appreciate visual stimuli and music like I thought I would be able to
after about three hours I started to reach peak, I took off my shirt and shoes and went on a run around campus that was probably the best experience of my life
I felt like a bloodhound that had just been let loose, my only goal was to hunt
there was no school, no society, no law, only the hunt
I got back and was hanging off of a bench, still nearly naked, behind my dorm when one of my friends called me and talked me into going inside
I played a few games of dota that were unbelievably intense, every kill was satisfying and every death was horrifying
I kept throwing off my clothes because I thought I was an animal and putting them back on when I got cold
I took the tab at 9:00 PM and it ended around noon the next day
I only wanted to kill, fuck and eat and it was just an incredible experience overall

I have a pocket watch.

It's called a cell phone.

you could do with a few art classes

Dualjay, Huff, Skye, and Tyrone were all sitting around a table at Dualjay's house. There was a pile of gifts on the table, but all the focus was on Dualjay. Through the power of getting >double donged, Dualjay had come back to life, and Skye was alive again too for some reason. Though, It wasn't Dualjay's life they were focused on, but the life that was growing inside of his stomach.
 
Being the buttslut Dualjay is, he had gotten pregnant on one of his drunken escapades. If you're wondering how a man can get pregnant, shut up. He had wanted to get an abortion, but Just a Gigolo was the only abortion doctor his medicare covered, and he didn't want Gigolo telling everyone he knew about him getting a butt abortion. He then did the next logical thing, and wore a variety of stylish hats to distract people from his stomach. Unfortunately for Dualjay, stylish hats could only work for so long, and after six or so months, not even the most unusual of hats could distract from his baby belly.
 
"I was so shocked to find out you were pregnant, Dualjay. I should have known from all those hats you were wearing that something was up." Huff said taking a long sip from his teacup. "But why wait so long to tell us? You didn't give me anytime to plan your baby shower." Skye said staring daggers at Dualjay. Skye, as everyone knows, has always taken baby showers very seriously. Dualjay took a deep breath "I just felt so embarrassed that I had gotten pregnant and didn't know who the father was."
 
Huff, trying to quickly change the subject to something happier, pushed one of the wrapped gifts towards Dualjay. "It's time to open your presents, Dualjay. This one is from me." Dualjay took the box and carefully untied the bow. "You did such a nice job wrapping this, I almost don't want to open it." Dualjay said with a light giggle. Tyrone pulled out a gun and placed it on the table. "Open your gifts faster." Dualjay then ripped the paper off quickly, and opened the box.
 
Inside the box Huff gave Dualjay was generic baby supplies. Dualjay wasted no time opening Skye's gift to reveal a carseat for the baby. Dualjay gave both of them a hug and said "Oh you guys, you're so thoughtful." After the hug they all looked at over at Tyrone. "Whatcha all lookin' at you jive turkeys?" Tyrone said folding his arms. "We talked about this Tyrone, you were supposed to use the fifty dollars I gave you to buy Dualjay a gift." Skye said red with anger. Tyrone didn't say anything, he just pulled out another gun, and placed on top of the first gun.
 
"Oh what was that?" Dualjay said with a look of pain and shock on his face. "Is the baby kicking?" Skye replied, placing a hand on his belly. "No, it hurt a lot more than that." Dualjay said trying to stand up. "Uh oh, I think my water just broke." Right as Dualjay said that, a stream of water came down from between his legs. Skye started panicking and running around the room. "Snap out of it, Skye. We have to get Dualjay to the hospital." Huff said slapping Skye in the face.
 
Huff and Skye helped Dualjay up on his feet and started moving him towards the door. "Tyrone, your car is blocking us, you have to move it." Huff shouted at Tyrone. All Tyrone did was pull out another gun and place on top of the two guns form earlier. Huff sighed and moved Dualjay back to the chair. "I guess we'll just have to deliver the baby here if Tyrone is going to be like that."
 
Thankfully, Dualjay was wearing a dress he had borrowed from A 1970's Corvette, so all Huff had to do was take off his underwear to deliver the baby. "Push hard, Dualjay. I can't see anything yet." Huff said from between Dualjay's legs. Dualjay pushed as hard as he could, screaming loudly with each push. "I see the head, it's crowning. Keep pushing, Dualjay!" Huff shouted in between Dualjay's screams. After several pushes, Huff was able pull the baby out of Dualjay's butt.
 
"It's a beautiful baby boy." Huff said handing Dualjay his baby. "Wow, with that afro he looks just like Tyro-" before Dualjay could finish that though, Tyrone had ran out the door, hopped into his 1964 Buick Skylark Sport Wagon, and sped away.
 
They say at night, if you listen closely, you can still hear Tyrone yell "That ain't mah baby!."
 

Jaden Smith has it all figured out.
 

My opinion: Its a cute dress and I would like to slip into it to see how it feels like.