DCP_16

Dec 4th, 2012

We all met at the base of the Rocky Mountains right before dawn, as we had agreed upon the night before. Magickus and Corvette arrived together, Guy arrived shortly after them, and Rammite was the last to show up, barely making it on time. We were all there with a common goal in mind. We were going to climb to the peak of the Rocky Mountains to retrieve the legendary hooker tree of legend. A tree that, if the stories were true, could grow hookers of every type for who ever was man enough to climb to the mountain's peak.

"Took me forever to get away from the ol' ball and chain, sorry about that. Had to leave him tied up to a bondage device just to give him the slip." Rammite told us arriving in a hurry. Since Rammite and Dualjay started having dragon dildo sex, Rammite has always been too busy for his friends. It seemed like all he wanted to do every day is put semen lube on a dragon dildo and ♥♥♥♥ Dualjay in a dragon costume. It was nice to see him again.

After going over a check list of all the supplies we were sure to need, we began are quest for the legendary hooker tree. The most important part of our quest was a MP3 player playing "Rocky Mountain Way" by Joe Walsh, since the legend says that the song was required for us to find... the way to the legendary hooker tree. For reasons we didn't know at the time, Magickus made sure that he brought grape drink margaritas with him. Rammite being Rammite, he made sure to bring several dragon dildos with him as well.

The legend forbid us from using any mountain climbing gear, since only the manliest of the manly are worthy for the hooker tree, but thankfully all SPUFers are secretly super buff in real life, so climbing the mountain by hand was incredibly easy for us. We spent several hours easily climbing up the mountain while listening to "Rocky Mountain Way," and you know what they say, time sure does fly when you're climbing up a mountain with your bare hands.

After several intense and manly hours of mountain climbing, it was time for our afternoon steak, so we stopped for a rest on a nearby ledge. Luckily, there were some mountain goats we were able to punch to death to get the meat for our afternoon steaks. Guy prepared a fire to cook the steaks with by punching a pile of twigs so fast they caught on fire. Of course, the manliest way to eat a steak is raw, so the fire was really just for the manly atmosphere.

All those hours of climbing the mountain by hand had bonded us in a way that you could only get from climbing a mountain with just your hands with other buff dudes from the internet could. We sat by the fire and swapping stories, arm wrestled, and breaking rocks with our fists. I could really tell that Rammite needed this man time, he was being himself again. I almost forgot how much he loved headbutting mountain goats.

We were having a good time, until we all started getting tired all of a sudden. After a while, we could barely even arm wrestle we were so tired, and it was then that Guy revealed his true colors. "Enjoy those steaks?" Guy gloated between laughs. "What have you done to us?" I asked barely able to stand. Guy smirked and said "When you weren't looking, I swapped your steaks with... TOFU!!!" Of course tofu is like kryptonite to manly men, which explains why it was making us pass-out. "I knew we couldn't trust you guy, the Mexican half of you was destined to betray us at the most dramatic point possible from the start." Magickus yelled before falling to the ground.

Guy then went and took all our MP3 players. "Now you'll never be able to find the way, the "Rocky Mountain WAY without Joe Walsh!" Guy said throwing them over the cliff. "Little did you know, I had been working with Binary the entire time. Binary has a plan to make an entire farm of hooker trees, and he's going to cut me in on the profits." Guy then opened up his backpack and revealed that Binary had been hiding in there the whole time. Binary, is of course an angry buff midget who is always trying to start hooker farms, but always failing due to the fact he's an angry buff midget. Before we could even try to fight back, Guy had started climbing back up the mountain with Binary on his back. We just watched as disappeared from our sight, and soon we had all collapsed on the ground.

End Part 1


:pinkiegasm:

This sums up why the show is so great better than I ever could.

Adding another two awesome videos to the thread, one for the past Halloween:

And one of my favourites for the Saxxies (along with the already posted videos here):

I have always seen this song perfect for a "calmed" end of the world

See, instead of reducing the male population to 1-10%, we should reduce the stupid population to 0%. No one will miss them.

oh geez i just realized this kinda looks like the powdered toast man

Here, take a new avatar.

I haven't think before of that but wow, that would be a pretty good combo! I hope the Saxxies come soon (but it seems that "Soon" is in Valve Time )And of course, thanks to everyone for your congratulations! :cores:

Many thanks, guys! (Not assumedly, because here is the proof that I got the cap:http://tf2b.com/tf2/item/DCP_16/959721633)Also, I would like to rep you, Batty, for making this thread but there is the damn Rule 20, as always.

These four are new.I'm also gonna get some black paint and rename my Professor's Pineapple "Chemical X"

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Skye again."


(Anyway, yay for that reference!)

Ed, Edd, and Eddy is godly.

No. You are not.*highfives*

See, this guy gets itso grab a bottle of your strongest liquor and drink away that misery about today's gaming industry!

Seeing Valve doesn't plan to announce anything new (or that's what they said), I'm only interested in Wii U and a few games. Oh, and Microsoft's conference too, to see if it's another Kinectfest like these two years, and have a laugh.

Rakshi?(I couldn't spell them back then either.)Oh, I guess Bohrok had them too. :D

The Bohrok! They rocked!

Problem solved

Problem solved