John Caveson

....which ones would you choose? This has been on my mind for a while, and I thought it would be fun to ask. Here's the scenario: Valve snorts more portal conversion gel than usual and decides to delete all cosmetics and all but three weapons per class, which would become the new achievement rewards for each class, of which would be the only way to get them (so no more crafting, trading, or store). They ask you, (hallucinating you're GabeN himself) what weapons to keep for each class and what order you can unlock them. Which ones would you keep? Keep in mind, these will be the only weapons you and everyone else will keep forever and ever. So choose wisely. Three rules: 1.) Only three weapons per class. 2.) Only the current pool of weapons available can be chosen, no custom weapons. 3.) The weapons will be in their current balance states, no re-balancing. Self-impose other restrictions at your own peril. As for myself, I'm self-imposing the rules: - Only one weapon per slot (Primary, Secondary, Melee) - No re-skins - No multi-class weapons Additionally, my picks will be based on several factors (of varying priority): Aesthetics: Does the weapon looks like it belongs in the world of TF2? No? Auto-banned. So the Deus Ex and Gordbort weapons would be a definite no. Additionally, if a weapon has a model entirely based on a previously released weapon ( e.g. Soda Popper to FaN) then that has less of a chance. Balance: Pretty self explanatory, too powerful (which is actually pretty rare these days) or too useless (*cough*volcanofragment*cough*) will probably not be chosen. Exceptions being weapons that bring good buffs to a class that makes them better but not broken, e.g. most alternatives to most stock melees, and certain secondaries. Playstyle & Fun Factor: How does this weapon change how you play the class? Weapons that fundamentally change your playstyle and are fun to use, (e.g. Gunboats) will be prioritized over boring +/- stat weapons (e.g. Family Business). Synergy: How well does this weapon synergize with the other slots? Some weapons simply do better with other weapon slots? Is it entirely dependent on another weapon to be viable? e.g. Big Earner synergizes well with the DR, as they negate each other's weaknesses, however it still is a solid choice with the stock watch. Meanwhile, the Buffalo Steak, goes great with the KGB, but doesn't really stand up on its own very well in any other context. Overall Game Flow: Finally, how does this weapons affect the game overall? In other words, how fun is it to fight against? The Rescue Ranger is a fantastic sidegrade to the shotgun, however, a skilled Engie can use it to really slow the game down by negating the risk of having to be by his sentry to fix it during an Uber push, combine this with the Wrangler/SC and the support of his team, it'll be stalemate city. As expected, Engineer's and Medic's picks will be the most scrutinized in this category. And with that, here are my picks both TL;DR version and a spoilered detailed breakdown* of each weapon's acceptance/denial. Offence: Scout: Primary: Force-A-Nature Secondary: Bonk! Atomic Punch Melee: Sandman Order: FaN>Sandman>Bonk! Soldier: Primary: Original lol Direct Hit Secondary: Gunboats Melee: Escape Plan Order: EP>Gunboats>Direct Hit Pyro: Primary: Dragon's Fury/Backburner Secondary: Flare Gun/Thermal Thruster Melee: Axtinguisher/Back Scratcher Order: Axtinguisher>Flare Gun>Dragon's Fury/Backburner>Back Scratcher>Thermal Thruster Defence: Demoman: Primary: Loose Cannon/Bootlegger Secondary: Scottish Resistance/Chargin' Targe Melee: Ullapool Caber/Eyelander Order: Caber>ScotRes>LC/Eyelander>Targe>Bootlegger Heavy: Primary: Brass Beast Secondary: Sandvich Melee: Fists of Steel Order: Sandvich/Brass Beast/FoS Engineer: Primary: Frontier Justice Secondary: Wrangler Melee: Gunslinger PDA: N/A Order: FJ>Wrangler>Gunslinger Support: Medic: Primary: Crusader's Crossbow Secondary: Kritzkrieg Melee: Ubersaw Order: Ubersaw>Kritz>Crossbow Sniper: Primary: Huntsman Secondary: Jarate Melee: Tribalman's Shiv Order: Tribalmen's Shiv>Jarate>Huntsman Spy: Secondary: L'Etranger Melee: Big Earner PDA 2: Cloak and Dagger Building: N/A Order: L'Et>CnD>BE *details tba

hype

The Sonic Team just posted this on their channel, and I gotta say, it was pretty cool. It also let me discover this: Why didn't I notice this before?

The Golden Triangle baby, here I come.

ART

I'm upset he faked his death, but I'm also impressed he got away with it for 3 whole years. Longest respawn time ever. I actually never noticed this before, huh. >tfw you fake your death to get the Axtinguisher buffed 9000 IQ plays. Next, Stabby fakes his death to get the DR and Amby buffed. Seems like a winning strategy.

It's my headcanon that he died, went to hell, the devil watched his YT vids and went "Nope.avi" and brought him back.

Just roll with it and embrace your inner Patrick Stewart.

Sakurai Thanos. It just goes with everything.

Heretic! We all know Kwanza is the most wonderful time of the year.