Dualjay, Huff, Skye, and Tyrone were all sitting around a table at Dualjay's house. There was a pile of gifts on the table, but all the focus was on Dualjay. Through the power of getting >double donged, Dualjay had come back to life, and Skye was alive again too for some reason. Though, It wasn't Dualjay's life they were focused on, but the life that was growing inside of his stomach.
Being the buttslut Dualjay is, he had gotten pregnant on one of his drunken escapades. If you're wondering how a man can get pregnant, shut up. He had wanted to get an abortion, but Just a Gigolo was the only abortion doctor his medicare covered, and he didn't want Gigolo telling everyone he knew about him getting a butt abortion. He then did the next logical thing, and wore a variety of stylish hats to distract people from his stomach. Unfortunately for Dualjay, stylish hats could only work for so long, and after six or so months, not even the most unusual of hats could distract from his baby belly.
"I was so shocked to find out you were pregnant, Dualjay. I should have known from all those hats you were wearing that something was up." Huff said taking a long sip from his teacup. "But why wait so long to tell us? You didn't give me anytime to plan your baby shower." Skye said staring daggers at Dualjay. Skye, as everyone knows, has always taken baby showers very seriously. Dualjay took a deep breath "I just felt so embarrassed that I had gotten pregnant and didn't know who the father was."
Huff, trying to quickly change the subject to something happier, pushed one of the wrapped gifts towards Dualjay. "It's time to open your presents, Dualjay. This one is from me." Dualjay took the box and carefully untied the bow. "You did such a nice job wrapping this, I almost don't want to open it." Dualjay said with a light giggle. Tyrone pulled out a gun and placed it on the table. "Open your gifts faster." Dualjay then ripped the paper off quickly, and opened the box.
Inside the box Huff gave Dualjay was generic baby supplies. Dualjay wasted no time opening Skye's gift to reveal a carseat for the baby. Dualjay gave both of them a hug and said "Oh you guys, you're so thoughtful." After the hug they all looked at over at Tyrone. "Whatcha all lookin' at you jive turkeys?" Tyrone said folding his arms. "We talked about this Tyrone, you were supposed to use the fifty dollars I gave you to buy Dualjay a gift." Skye said red with anger. Tyrone didn't say anything, he just pulled out another gun, and placed on top of the first gun.
"Oh what was that?" Dualjay said with a look of pain and shock on his face. "Is the baby kicking?" Skye replied, placing a hand on his belly. "No, it hurt a lot more than that." Dualjay said trying to stand up. "Uh oh, I think my water just broke." Right as Dualjay said that, a stream of water came down from between his legs. Skye started panicking and running around the room. "Snap out of it, Skye. We have to get Dualjay to the hospital." Huff said slapping Skye in the face.
Huff and Skye helped Dualjay up on his feet and started moving him towards the door. "Tyrone, your car is blocking us, you have to move it." Huff shouted at Tyrone. All Tyrone did was pull out another gun and place on top of the two guns form earlier. Huff sighed and moved Dualjay back to the chair. "I guess we'll just have to deliver the baby here if Tyrone is going to be like that."
Thankfully, Dualjay was wearing a dress he had borrowed from A 1970's Corvette, so all Huff had to do was take off his underwear to deliver the baby. "Push hard, Dualjay. I can't see anything yet." Huff said from between Dualjay's legs. Dualjay pushed as hard as he could, screaming loudly with each push. "I see the head, it's crowning. Keep pushing, Dualjay!" Huff shouted in between Dualjay's screams. After several pushes, Huff was able pull the baby out of Dualjay's butt.
"It's a beautiful baby boy." Huff said handing Dualjay his baby. "Wow, with that afro he looks just like Tyro-" before Dualjay could finish that though, Tyrone had ran out the door, hopped into his 1964 Buick Skylark Sport Wagon, and sped away.
They say at night, if you listen closely, you can still hear Tyrone yell "That ain't mah baby!."
Man, this is terrible. I barely knew him but he was a nice guy. On the other side it's heartwarming to see a lot of people remembering him, with both the kayak forum-goers and everything that's here.
If we could get a big group donation together, maybe via Paypal or something, that might be nice.
Grobag reacted to Mersopolis in Upgrade to IPS 4
Grobag got a reaction from Verumae in The Moon God Has Fallen