Napkin Dust

Talking about Scooby-Doo, did you guys saw the amazing reboot of the series?
 

 
It seems like Seth McFarlaine and whoever did Johnny Test had a baby.
 

fixed

who is Gatsby's least favorite superhero
 

what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
 

David Hasslehoff walks into his agent's office and says, "From now on, I want to be know as 'The Hoff!'". His agent replies, "Sure, David. No hassle."

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
 
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
 
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.
 
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
 
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised.
 
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."
 
 
He lost 33 kilos that week.

Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
 
 
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
 
 
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal was playing a game of hide and seek, it was Einsteins turn to be it, so he closes his eyes and counts to 10.
Pascal hides, but Newton simply drew a square on the ground and stood in the center.
When he reached to, Einstein shouted "Ready or not, here I come!", he turns around and immediately spots Newton.
"HA, I found you!" said Einstein .
 
Newton smiled and said "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter, you found Pascal!"

If one replaces the "W" in When, What, and Where with a "T",  he would have answered his own question.

This looks hella cool.
 

Looks like the Source Engine 2 has been soft-launched.

I never particularly cared for the eeveelutions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvC9d6VQwOo
 
Guys I'm crying so hard from laughing

Super Hexagon's soundtrack is perfect with Crypt of the Necrodancer.
 

I like this guy's style.

Oh man, I think we're finally starting to turn you to our side! PREPARE TO BE ASSIMI-

never mind

Alright, I had the weirdest fucking dream I have ever experienced that I can remember last night.
 
For whatever reason, I was at one of my close childhood friends and soon-to-be roommate's parent's house in this dream and there were a truckload of people there. Turns out, I am getting married. I don't know why that would take place at my friend's parent's house, but sure why not. So I was getting married to my high-school crush, who I haven't spoken to in several years now, named Sofie. Apparently I hadn't invited my parents to the wedding. In fact I hadn't even told them that I was getting married and I had this really bad sinking feeling in my stomach because I felt really bad about not telling them or inviting them, it was the only thing I could think about, as I was talking to people at the wedding about random shit. So then my bride to-be comes over and we start conversing and suddenly it hits me: She's a Scientologist. So not only am I getting married at my friend's parent's house without my own being present or even knowing about it, I am getting married to a Scientologist. (Sofie wasn't a Scientologist though, not to my knowledge anyway) and I just remember thinking in the dream: "Well fuck, that's really bad. I am guaranteed to have to go through one divorce".
 
Suddenly i'm sitting there, waiting for my bride to walk up the church floor and my best men are the people I usually hang out with on Mumble: Silent, Grier, Rhombo, Ntizan and Marcus and they're laughing their asses off because I am confessing to them that I really don't want to do this, because she is a Scientologist and I felt really confused about the fact that I didn't remember that until we were at this point in the wedding. Not only were my best men my Mumble buddies, but the minister for the ceremony was Facade for whatever fucking reason and he was being super smug about the fact that I was getting married throughout the dream.
 
I was woken up from the dream just as we were about to start the ceremony by a really loud scooter driving right past my window.

Mario Power Tennis for the GCN had a blooper reel for its opening. This is amazing.
 

Today, millions of people saw Bruno in his ridiculous suit on ESPN and many will remember it as the first time they ever heard of Dota or even E-sports.
 

 
The face of Dota, everybody.

Not quite. I just haven't had money.
And besides, aren't they all linked to one another?
They all have Links, yeah.