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Due to my caretaker's general laziness in grocery shopping, the only thing left in the house are cans of refried beans. I'm getting pretty damn good at working them into everything I eat, at least.
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Raz, I don't know how they do things over in Europeland, but here in America it is customary to be sent to live with a family of eagles on your 15th birthday.
The mother eagle is referred to as your "caretaker", and she plays a vital role in filling you with the xenophobic patriotism that will guide you throughout your life.