A 1970 Corvette

Ownership of the Funko Pickle Rick figure is considered justification for homicide in all first world nations.

Adding on to this, the search is horrible.  Lots of things related to news and comedy will just get you endless CNN videos or late night talk shows, regardless of whether they are relevant.
 
The worst I've encountered so far happened when I wanted to post that old Harry Partridge cartoon "Stephen the Lesbian" on another site.  The first result is for a reupload of the original video with less than a thousandth of the views of the original.  Then a couple of playlists with the original video on them, then fandubs into other languages, then a mix of videos about lesbians, people named Stephen and other Harry Partridge videos.  But as far as I can tell the original video never appears in the search results.  Even adding "Harry Partridge" to the search doesn't really help anything.
 
At first I thought the video got taken down for being offensive or something, but it's still there if you go directly to his channel.  Maybe it was shadowbanned, maybe the search algorithm is just shit, I don't know.
 
It's worth noting that video.google.com generally has better results for youtube videos than the search on youtube itself, including in this example (where the video comes up as the #1 result).
 
EDIT: Looking at the comments of the original video apparently it showed up on a ton of people's recommendations a few weeks ago.  So apparently youtube will recommend it to everyone, but not reveal it if you search for it.  Which just makes everything make even less sense.
 
EDIT 2: Okay, so while both "stephen the lesbian" and "stephen the lesbian harry partridge" give you results where the video doesn't appear at all, "all hail stephen king of the lesbians" does get you the original video as the top result (with the next results mainly being about Stephen King with a few Harry Partridge videos mixed in, then tons of playlists which have nothing to do with either topic).  What the hell is this search even doing.

I made these on a whim and I'm glad for it.

Is this the right half of loss?

I love that nowadays you can't find a video by clicking on something you know was related to it because 50% is shit you've already watched, 25% stuff youtube has decided to put on everyone's recommended, and 25% related videos

Hey howdy ho, SPUFFriends! It’s Valentine’s Day today, and you know what that means!  Love is in the air! And do you know what I’d love? Some new content for TF2, that’s what! And as the old saying goes, “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!” Lucky for me and the rest of humanity, I am by myself on this lonesome Valentine’s Day! So today, I shall bring all you good folks a brand spankin’ new TF2 update idea!
 
Today’s update is a sequel update to last year’s Valentine’s Update, “The Better Matchmaking Update.” The only way to follow up an update like that, of course, is with “The Best Matchmaking Update!”. So that’s the update that I propose for today! We live in a world where uninspired sequels reign supreme, so I hope you’ll all enjoy MY uninspired sequel! So sit back, relax, and enjoy this lengthy backstory!
 
-----

 
 
-----
 
(tl:dr version: A drunk succubus shows up at the mercenaries' house after getting fired from her job.)
 
Yikes, the Matchmaker’s back in town?  That sure spells danger for the mercs. Luckily, it seems she’s out of a job and totally a non-threat this time around.  Unluckily though, it seems there’s a much bigger threat this time! You see, Lladnar and Mr. Raingallows had been secretly plotting some contingency plans to fight the energy crisis that is facing Hell! Typically, Incubus Inc. takes great pride in the fact that they only take souls from consensual encounters, however, Mr. Raingallows and Lladnar have developed a plan that goes against their code of honor… namely a gigantic sexbot army that will forcefully drain the souls from unwilling victims, including children! The Matchmaker needs the mercs’ help to put a stop to it, and maybe get her job back along the way!  To help the Matchmaker, players must enter the new map, mvm_incinc. This map takes place at the factory, and is just like any other MvM map: hordes of annoying (sex) robots that instagib by looking at you funny. Players must defend the door to the human world. (The bomb hatch.) However, this map also comes with loads of fun gimmicks! This map is HUGE. Bigger than Bigrock, even! As such, there needs to be a special method of travel: DOORS! The factory’s loaded with special doors that act as automatic teleporters, as seen in Scooby Doo chase scenes. These doors turn on and off depending on how many (sex) robots are destroyed within a set radius. (Sex) robots are capable of spawning from these doors if they make it far enough, preventing you from just locking down the main entrance.  If too many (sex) robots make it past, the doors activate, pushing the spawn point further up and giving you less room to work with. These spawns fortunately don’t carry over across waves, always resetting.
 

"I am about to revolutionize the sex industry. And when I do, even the great Miss Match is gonna be working for me!" -Lladnar

 
And of course, on the final wave an extra special (sex) robot will spawn in, piloted by Raingallows himself!  This will be the only (sex) robot of the wave, but it’ll be bigger and badder than any seen before. It’ll be immune to all debuffs and crowd control, so you better be quick with dishing out damage!  He’ll slowly walk down the path, unleashing several devastating attacks along the way, including but not limited to his shaft cannon and a big heaping batch of bombs! However, the most annoying aspect of this fight just might be Raingallows’ croney, as Lladnar will lurk the map invisible, much like a Spy, dealing massive damage to isolated targets that don’t notice in time.  Good luck taking down Raingallows without your DPS! If you manage to overcome this challenging opponent, you’ll be rewarded with a new stock melee reskin, The Dildon’t! (It’s exactly what it sounds like) Of course, along with this new map, there will be several new items for you to spruce up your characters, so allow us to go through those together!

We’d also receive quite a few exciting weapons and cosmetics in this update. Mostly a bunch of hearts and lewd stuff, but I’ll go ahead and describe a few just so we’re clear on what I mean.
An all new cosmetic item, The Succubuddy. This item will cause a miniature succubus to fly around, following your merc all around town.
Another new cosmetic item, The Blunderpants! Which allows you to run around in your undies, with four different styles! Classic, Hearts, The Dark Knight, and The Smile Bringer! (Scout’s will be piss stained, regardless of style.)
Another new cosmetic item, The Cardiovascular Bonnet, which allows the mercs to wear a dumb heart on their head.
Yet another new cosmetic item, The Buckaroo’s Bulge. Everything’s bigger in Texas.
And a new weapon reskin, The Heart Attack! Which is just a reskin of the Panic Attack, except it has hearts on it.

Well, that’s it for the update my friends!  But what’s this? It’s not quite over yet! As an AIDS Monkey first, this update shall feature an epilogue!  So here goes!
 
-----
 
Upon defeating Raingallows, the story continues, with the Matchmaker being rundown by her ex-boss, furious with her actions ruining his plans.  Try as she might, she couldn’t quite escape him, eventually being cornered. “It doesn’t have to be this way!” Pleaded the Matchmaker.
“I have no choice!  Times have changed! Consensual sex isn’t enough anymore!”  
“But violating children!?”  
“I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die, and I’ll silence anyone who gets in my way!”Raingallows delivered a savage bitchslap to the Matchmaker, knocking her off her feet.  Just as all hope seemed lost, a siren wailed, the walls falling away to reveal the mercenaries, all watching with a smug look on their faces.  “Huhuhu, I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes! Let’s watch my favorite part again...shall we?” Scout pressed a button, replaying his favorite part.  “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” And then help arrived!
 

I hope you're happy mercenaries, you've destroyed this company. Incubus Incorporated is dead. Where will everyone get their jollies now? The energy crisis will only get worse because of YOU! -Mr. Raingallows
 
As the FBI dragged Raingallows away, the Matchmaker, in an uncharacteristic act of gratitude, gave all the mercenaries a great big hug!  It was at this moment that the demon world discovered that hugs and affection were a far stronger power source than sex and souls, creating an industrial revolution for all of demon-kind!  Everybody cheered, happy at the development. With the newfound power, Scout decided to play his favorite part...one last time. “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!”  “Huhuhu, you know what? That didn’t seem like such a bad idea to me!”
 
And now that is really the end of the Best Matchmaking Update!  Of course, with a name like the Best Matchmaking Update, you can expect some quality changes to the matchmaking system (removing it entirely!)  That’s it for now, but remember to tune in next year for a Valentine’s Update, where we’ll go way back and check out the Matchmaker’s college years in a prequel update that nobody really asked for!

I just had a dream that SPUF was back up and very few people knew because they all assumed it would be gone forever.
 
I was sad to re-discover reality

I'm gonna need some Painkillers to deal with this one.

Got balls @ing me with that bullshit. If I didn't respect it so much I would slay you where you stand.

Ordered computer parts from Amazon and Newegg on Monday. Newegg's shit is already here but Amazon's telling me they ain't even started shipping my stuff yet.
 
Fuck you Jeff Bozos.
 
(USER WAS ANNIHILATED BY DRONE FOR THIS POST)

MY SKYRIM DAILYMOTION LETS PLAY CHANNEL! NO!!!!!

What? You mean the 80 paragraphs I wrote at 2 AM are indecipherable to anyone who hasn't put 2000 hours into the game? Sorry about that. Well, I got the main point through at least.

Since I probably won't get a chance to talk about Paradox/EU IV again for a while I may as well type out my thoughts here.
 

I feel like their DLC strategy started off fine (EU III had five expansions; Victoria 2, two; HOI 3, three) but as they grew bigger they got more resources and were pumping out more and more until the point where EU IV for example has 12 expansions and 3 immersion packs (plus a SHITLOAD of cosmetic DLC as well as some flavor packs), which is pretty excessive. That's the charitable, perhaps naive, interpretation at least. Their current expansion model is really breaking down at the moment. When they first released their "new generation" of games (EU IV on) they decided to put out a major patch along with every expansion. In theory the free patch would handle all the major balance changes and some new mechanics, while the paid DLC expansion would further flesh out those mechanics, for people who were interested in it. They did this mostly so they could have everybody running the more or less same version of the game, and not have some people on 1.0, some on 1.3, and some on 1.5; which would simplify further development as well as let everyone play multiplayer together. For example, the first expansion, Conquest of Paradise, included free changes like the introduction of colonial nations which would form a new vassal out of the provinces you colonized in the New World. The expansion would give you the option to play as said colonial nation, which is a nice feature to have but one most people will rarely, if ever, use.
 
Of course, there are a few problems with that strategy. Firstly, what if the feature in the paid expansion turns out to be really useful? What if it's more than just a bit of a bonus and changes the way the game works entirely? That's what happened with improving development. It more or less rewrote the book on how and when to expand. Well, not exactly, but it pushed "not actively expanding" from being a pointless waste of time to being a possible, if not exactly good strategy. Either way it was a huge change that you simply couldn't access without owning the DLC. This wasn't "play as a colonial nation"-tier where you might fiddle with it sometimes but if you didn't have it it wouldn't matter. It was something you needed to have or else you would miss out. Which really, kinda shits on the whole "well you don't have to buy it" shtick. You very well do have to buy it if you want to play that version or later versions and have a good time.
 
As a bit of an aside, here's a funny story. To compensate those who didn't have the DLC, they changed the bonuses that with the expansion would give "development cost reduction" to instead give a positive "goods produced" modifier on the national level, and a positive tax bonus on the provincial level. So a national development cost reduction of, say, 10% would be changed into a 10% goods produced modifier. It's a nice thought, isn't it? Instead of getting a bonus you were unable to use you'd get something that would still work for you. How sweet of Paradox. Well... I did say there was a provincial level bonus too, didn't I? I neglected to mention that all terrain that isn't grasslands or farmlands has a development cost INCREASE. And that means any province that isn't those two types would get a tax PENALTY. And that these are steep penalties. Normally they wouldn't matter if you had the DLC, since you just wouldn't develop in these shitty provinces. No harm to you, really. But without the DLC? Red provinces have 0 (zero) tax income. While provincial tax becomes less and less a source of income over time it's very important early game. Imagine starting out there. Imagine something that should be giving you around half your income, instead giving you nothing. If you started out in a red zone (and there are more than just that image, there were spots in Arabia and Siberia and in of the Americas and really all over the place) and hadn't bought the DLC you were basically fucked.
 
Moving on, the second problem is that by tying new mechanics to specific expansions it makes it harder to expand upon those mechanics in subsequent expansions. You can't really expand upon an expansion if a lot of your customers don't have the ability to use the base expansion mechanic in the first place. So a lot of sort-of interesting mechanics just sit there as they can't be expanded upon without making the base mechanic free, which has the potential to piss off some of people who paid for the DLC in the first place, even though most paypigs loyal customers like me who buy all the DLC will agree that it's a lot better for the game for this stuff to be free. BUT, you know what, this is actually what they did last month, in the case of development and other very important once-paid features. There's still a lot of paid-only mediocre mechanics lurking around, though.
 
The third problem is that while new mechanics intended to balance the game by nerfing older mechanics (like espionage needing spy networks) actually using them to your advantage requires the DLC (like spy networks giving you tech boosts and siege ability) which to a lot of people looks as shady as the guy with a baseball bat outside your shop offering to protect your shop from criminals. Sure you can turn him down but... it's a dangerous place out there you know?
 
All that though, really all of it, is just DLC policy. If you have all the DLC it's still a great game, right? Asked me that half a year ago, I would've said hell yeah. Sure the monetization is scummy but dammit the game's just so good you should buy it all, on sale of course, because it's that damn good. But then apparently the lead designer smoked Waste and decided to just fucking destroy it all. In the Dharma expansion (released alongside patch 1.26, called Mughals because they name patches after the region they're focusing on... and this is relevant I'll say why later) they introduced two strong contenders for worse game design decisions ever created.
 
The first and probably worst of the two (and what an honor!) would be the change making it so you cannot convert a province's religion unless it is both in a state (a collection of 3 or 4 provinces are in a region, regions can be states or territories, with states being harder to get and more valuable) and a full core. You can only have a certain number of states, and this amount is out of your control since there's really nothing you can do to get more states other than advance in tech which you really can't do ahead of time. So you basically cannot convert provinces outside of the first 50 years of gameplay. Before this there had been two ways to deal with religion in the game. One, tolerate everything and pick Humanist ideas. Two, convert everything and pick Religious ideas. You literally cannot do the second because of this change so you're forced to do the first, which fucks over countries that had bonuses to conversion (Spain, Najd, etc.) and turns an already binary choice into... not a choice at all. And toleration had always been the easier, less involved way, too. You pick Humanist ideas and bang you're done you can basically ignore religion entirely. They did at least leave Religion's best idea in its idea group, I mean you can't do anything with the land you take that ways and it will revolt until the end of the game but hey you can take it. They seemed to have realized this change was fucking awful shit, at least, so they reverted it not long after Dharma came out. There were actually whispers on the forums that they only put in this awful, horrible change so that the other change would look better by comparison. It's hard to argue against that...
 
Since the second change is also complete horrible shit and why I'm not keen on playing EU IV while it's still in the game. For every territory you have over your state limit you suffer .02 corruption/year up to .8 a year (used to be 1.0 which was even worse). Corruption has always been a hated mechanic since it was introduced as its effects are nasty, you can't really stop it from growing sometimes and the only real way to reduce it is to pay money, it's just a money sink. Territory corruption is quite obviously intended to slow down expansion (like many other mechanics already in the game) but there's no counterplay other than "don't take more land", which basically means "sit on your ass until you get to tech up so scary red numbers go away". You can pay down up to 1 corruption a year with money but with .8/yr from territories and .5/yr from 100% overextension (which you will be at nearly constantly if you're playing well late game) you will never pay down enough corruption to be free of its shitty effects unless you take some idea groups which then makes those idea groups mandatory if you want to play the game the right way. Speaking of the right way to play the game I'd like to introduce trade companies. If your capital province is not in a trade company region (i.e. it is in Europe Oceania or America) you can make trade companies in said trade company regions. Basically these nifty little guys will have no autonomy (autonomy is bad), give you an extra merchant (merchants are good), reduce religious unrest, and most importantly do not count towards the territory corruption penalty. Where are the trade company regions you may ask? All over the fucking place. Really chew it around a bit. If your capital is, say, Malta, you can rule all that land and your bureaucracy will be as corruption free as a Norwegian puppy. You will suffer more by taking Sicily than you will Beijing. Not only do you not suffer for taking it, hell you rule it better than anyone whose capital is actually in a trade company region. Remember the Mughals, the country this patch was named after? You rule it better than them. The Mughals take their historical conquests in India and they drown in corruption. The only sensible option, really, for any country is to beeline to India, move capital to Europe if needed and make all the land they can trade companies because you are so heavily penalized for not doing it. Before Dharma beelining India was still worth it since it's very rich and trade companies were good even then. Now you basically have to do it if you plan on doing any serious expansion.
 
At the end of the day that's what EU IV is all about. There simply isn't enough to do that doesn't involve war and conquest. You play a tall game once for shits and giggles and then never again because it's just boring. Before Dharma the developers seemed to realize that, and introduced mechanics that aided expansion. Recently though they seem to have gotten it into their minds that they need to clamp down on expansion hard. It seems to me like they're jealous of how "sophisticated" other Paradox games are and how they're embarrassed they're stuck working on the "simplest" one. So they want to do away with mindless blobbing and instead make the game a lot slower and taller. Except like a clown who suddenly started talking about serious topics like climate change and genocide in Africa it's a real mood swing and just leaves the audience confused: they're not here for this. If they wanted serious shit they wouldn't book Farty the Clown for their son's 5th birthday party. They just want dumb fun. And at the end of the day that's what EU IV is... compared to other Paradox games at least. Again there's not much to do that doesn't involve blobbing. There's colonization but that's really dependent on where you start and is a heavy investment for not much reward unless you're a dedicated colonizer. There's developing your provinces into massive cities but that's a lot of waiting for monarch power just to dump it into a province for diminishing returns. That's really about it. You could, I guess, wage limited wars but there's really not much point because the AI treats every little war as an existential life and death Eastern-front style struggle. At the peace table they'll generally either be at your feet or at your throat and it's just a waste to occupy 90% of their country only to take 10% warscore worth of provinces and some ducats. That's really about it. If they want a less blobby game they should save it for EU V and actually give the player a reason to slow down instead of "because life will suck bad if you do". A lot of EU IV players have stopped playing for good because of this shit, including a lot of really good players that know how to play well with even with all the roadblocks but it is just a fucking slog and I can't really blame them since every strategy is the same now. Before it was "if you're powergaming go to india first" now it's "if you want to play competently at all go to india first".
 
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
 
Ace Combat 7's out soon. Looks nice, I hope it ain't shit cause I'm ready for a new one.

rip above huevo
 
A wild Gyoku appears

thoughts + reviews now
 
 
 

I was gonna say that there wasn't much overlap but reviewing it I spose there is.
 
I originally tried out ZLS but a little bit below halfway through I kinda had a feeling that they'd just keep doing idol show stuff (the little things they changed because of the premise of zombies wasn't enough for me tbh) which inevitably meant dumb drama (easily the worst part of any idol show) so I dropped it. I don't really feel like I was missing much and a lot of people's discussion on it kinda confirmed that with me. Plus pretty much all of the girls annoyed me other than Saki. I felt like I was really watching it just for the parts where the producer was introducing what was going to happen next episode.
 
I did watch Retsuko but apparently it is a part of 2018, so I can amend this to the thing I guess. I had a mild interest in it just because the art style was super cyute, and decided to watch it on a whim. The first episode was pretty out there but for some reason I kept watching and then it kind of clicked. I also didn't know it had anything to do about metal until I had actually watched it which was a nice plus. I guess this is the closest thing to a metal girl anime we've got. Retsuko might be candidate for MC of the Year and Fenneko probably deserves a spot for girl of the year in there.
 
I Lost My Colors In Another World or better known as the actual title Irozuku Sekai something something is a show that I'm still watching technically but it's from another season. Kind of out of my element because rather than being a comedy centered around an autistic girl it's a drama centered around an a(u/r)tistic girl. Not sure if I'll ever finish it. But it gets a mention for almost making it in the list of shows I watched.
 
Yurucyandelta was okay. I was really blown away by the animation quality in the first episode but I enjoyed the solo camping more than the group camping. The chat bubble thing that did with texting conversations was cute and it kinda gave a neat way to look into how the characters talked and it's definitely one of the things that stuck out to me even months after watching it. I enjoyed pretty much all of the supporting characters more than the main characters though. Except for the short haired grill. She was pretty cute.
 
I can't really think of anything else. +huff for SSR but immediately -huff for dissing the Colors

fuck yeah! another year, another oversized image! I went easy on memes this year since I actually took it halfway seriously.
 
 
 

I look forward to killing 4 mana do-nothings with 1 mana removal spells in modern for the forseeable future of people trying to make Ms. Badpod work

I wish this seasonal meme garbage would die tbh. 
Almost unavoidable too.
happy new nichijou tho

4chan.org versus 4channel.org
 
(versus *pinkhearts* versus My Little Pony)

You're not missing anything. We just shittalked people we didn't like, like this one retard, what was his name? hugthebed...3... yeah, that's it.