Scout mains: Have a comp history, and thus have a strong hatred for crits and have a stock-or-go mentality; the more "advanced" Scout mains will also only play 5CP and Gravelpit. They usually do not use mic or chat at all, unless they come up against an equally skilled opposing scout main. The Scout versus Scout fight is sacred, so let the trashtalking commence
Soldier mains: If you're not pubstomping you aren't having fun. Any loss, no matter how close, will be blamed on their team's incompetence. Are often accompanied by their own personal pocketmedic and will suck up to other medics so they can add them to their evergrowing friendslist of dialup healing sources. As with the Scout main, an encounter with a fellow Soldier main wil result in a flurry of failed airshots
Pyro mains: Once pressed m2 in the general direction of a rocket and are now the kings of TF2. Will constantly complain about how Valve hates their class, and every new unlock addition is greeted with an article about how it makes the pyro less good in some way. They live in a hierarchy of elitism depending on primary, going Degreaser < Flamethrower < Backburner and are currently publishing a book about why their primary is best
Demoman mains: come in two flavors. The Demoknight main is stuck on a permanent level of noskill, and finds comfort by telling themselves they score low because they're "just joking around". The only players who actually want to play with random crits on. Stickydemos strictly play competitive, but will come down from the heavens once in a while to obliterate an entire server together with their team's Medic, in the same way a fat guy eats a bag of crisps by the handfull.
Heavy mains: are always Highlander players. Are in extreme denial about their class' skill requirement and will defend it at all costs. Occasional very, very new players also main Heavy, but surpass its skill ceiling after about 50 hours and go to another class.
Engineer mains: Come in two flavors. Stock Sentry Engineers are often new, low-skill players, but there are many outliers who have spent hundreds of hours maintaining their precious sentry nests. These players live a feng-shui lifestyle, content with their low skill level and content with defending the objective while others go out and have fun. Don't mention soldiers or demomen to them, however. Minisentry Engineers are the antithesis of their stock brethren: they live to ruin other players' fun. Armed with Pomson and Short Circuit they set out to koth servers to feed on the opposing team's tears. They see the low skill ceiling as an upside, since it leaves one hand free for other more throbbing matters.
Medic mains: contain 90% of the female TF2 players, as Medic is the most bishie of the TF2 mercs. Although the vast majority of them has a friendslist full of sugardaddies to cling onto and rack points, there is a minor few who stands through the shittyness of the average pubber and tries to actually medic a whole team even if that results in less points and more shittalk. These brave warriors should be applauded and will not be ridiculed even on this satire-ridden list. Although medic still takes zero skill.
Sniper mains: live on the concept of big-fish-small-pond. Too shitty to play realistic shooters, they hide in TF2 and nourish on its incredibly forgiving headshot hitbox and a lack of much opposing sniper skill. Sniper mains never communicate with other players as that would waste time that could be spent upping their k/d, the only thing that fills the void in their heart just a little bit.
Spy mains: Invented elitism. The fact alone that they pressed 9 in the class select menu makes them better than all other players on the server. If there are 3 or more Spies on their team they will be the loudest to complain that people should switch class, yet the least likely to actually switch themselves. Ironically are very similar to their nemesis Pyro mains in that they love to complain about how bad their class is and how much Valve hates them
Heh, yes, probably, like the TFC Engineer is all overweight and has robot legs right? So, he probably won't recognize him, so the TF2 Engie will think he killed his father.
"I'll never join you, you killed my father."
"No Dell, I AM your father."
"NNNOOOOOONNNOOOOOOPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE.avi!!!!"
Fixed
