Gyokuyoutama

My favorite random 8bit remix is of Duvet tbh 
 

After months of research I can reveal the secret formula for every great Yakumo family 4-koma:
 
Panel 1: Ran walks in on Chen doing something childish, like pigging out on candy, lazing about reading comics instead of doing work, etc.
 
Panel 2: Ran chews out Chen who apologizes (using the phrase "sumimachen.")
 
Panel 3: Ran walks out saying something like "I swear, that girl is never going to grow up."
 
Panel 4: Ran walks in on Yukari doing the exact same thing Chen was.  Bonus points if Yukari says "sumimachen."

After months of research I can reveal the secret formula for every great Yakumo family 4-koma:
 
Panel 1: Ran walks in on Chen doing something childish, like pigging out on candy, lazing about reading comics instead of doing work, etc.
 
Panel 2: Ran chews out Chen who apologizes (using the phrase "sumimachen.")
 
Panel 3: Ran walks out saying something like "I swear, that girl is never going to grow up."
 
Panel 4: Ran walks in on Yukari doing the exact same thing Chen was.  Bonus points if Yukari says "sumimachen."

Huh... would you look at all that stuff...
 
They've got:
Allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters Robocop The Terminator Captain Kirk and Darth Vader Buddy Holly Ben Hur Space Monkey Mafia a fur coat an exotic pet John Merrick's remains knives continential drift divide mountains sit in a line Leonard Berstein Bill S Preston Theodore Logan Spock the Rock Doc Ock Hulk Hogan Peter Pan Frankenstein Superman Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle Reno Chicago Fargo Minnesota Fiji Tiree the Isles of Ebony Sailing on the seven seas Seize the day Day Tripper Calculators Generators Matching salt and pepper shakers

Saw the four character compound 弱肉強食 in the wild and immediately got the meaning.  Of course there's like 10,000 more four character compounds I don't understand, so まだまだです I guess.
 

Mandalore reviews SOMA.
 
Oh that's right, I should really play that one of these days.
 
Check GOG.
 
I've apparently owned it for 7 years.
 
(To be fair, checking through my purchase history I got it as a free giveaway.)

Could it be?
 
https://x.com/Protomen/status/1973844173959938288

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/115539491

8888888888888888888888880888888888888888088888880888880808888888080888880888888888888888880888888888888888888808888888888888888808088888888888888886644522221111
8088888888888888888888888888888088888088888888808888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888808088888880888888888088888088888888888888888880888080069555222111
8888888888888888888808888888888888880888888808888808888888880888888888888888888888888808888808888888888888088808888888888888888808888888088888880888664455521111
8888888888888888888888888888888088888888888888888880808088888888808080888888888088888888888880888888888888888880888888888880808088888888888888888888866444552121
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888880888088888880808888888888888888888888808888888888888880888888888888888888888888888088888888808888888806699445222
8888888880808888808088888888888088888888888888888888888088888880888088888888888888808888888888888888808088888888888088888888888888888888888888888888806964944522
7777111111111159088806994446080888880888088888888808880888888888888888888888088888888888088888880808888888888888888888088888088888888808888888088888888066994552
7777777777777771111111177777771111988880888888888888888088888088888888888888888888888880808880888880888888808888888888888088888888888888808880888888888606669552
7777777771111111117777777777777777777771111111112546688888888808888888888888888888888888888808088888888888088888888888888888880888888888888888888888888666945111
7771111122222117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111112598888888888888888888888808088888888888088888880888088888880888880888888888888888888888880806451
1112252211777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777711111111111111254606888088888088888888888888888888888088808888888888888888888088888888806
5551117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771111112555496088888888888888808880888888888888888888888888888880
1777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111254900888888888888888088888888808
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777171111111124888088888888
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111224
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
8888841177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771777
8888888888411111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777115880521117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777117777
7777288888808880884117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771158888881117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
7777708888888888888577777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771188888885117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
7719888888808880888817777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111588888880111777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777717777777
1988888888888088880885177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771124888888888921177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777711129802117
6880899880888888888888811777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777711298888888088622117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777712508888411
8885111688008888888808889177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777771112400808080888411111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777712000660611
8841119880808088888888888811777777777777777777777777777111177777777771112222446888888088411111111777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777117777112609449117
8891129888866888888888888808851777777777777777777777777777777777771125222212555988888888411111117111777777777777777777777777777777777777777111177771111150888217
8885111488044988888880888088888881177777777777777777777777777711222111111125944988808888622111111111111777777777777777777777777777777777115221777711244156805117
8880944444499660888888888888888888889111777777777777777777711549452111111225900888888888651111111117771111177777777777777777777777771125552177777115880211111177
6088808095525468808888888088888888888088895221111111124888888065525522111111115980888880621111111711111111222111777777777777777711111222211777771124042111111777
1888888099444608880888880888888888888888888809468888088888088611112255211111290888088880669522111171111111125041111111111111112222211111777777711542117771111777
1888808006999999944555668080888066666699999966888088888880888621112296806955968880888886945222222112555217711688888006942211111111177777777777112491177771111777
7188088800551225444444966694496000699455968888080888888888888051122256888880008888888880942221111124865177711888080888809211117177777777777711221441777111117777
7714888880421122990009944555446669069996888888888888808888888862111111111259088000000669955211777711177777719088888888800921111117777777771256645441111121777777
7771108888069444555549444946669454599688880808088888888888888889117777777771111111121111111777777777777777116888880880669644221111777777771254466669525521777777
7777771111468695211112449606694449968888888888888888888888888888011777777777777711111177777777777777777112408000888064455522222111177777777111259088895117777777
7777777771111212222555444449966088888888880888888888888888880808888884111111717777777777777777111111122559606952111112222211111211111777777771115888021177777777
7777777777111222225544444496808888888888888888888069088888800888888888888880951111777777111155554496694521125211112222211111211111111177777771110089177777777777
7777777777112555225554496088880000888888880808888808888888088888088888888888889422222225549425545525544444494955222211111111111111111117777777128881777777777777
7777777777112252225544446088042154088888621111111980888688888888888880888880069952212225499521496445446609455252211777777777777711111777777777118881177777777777
7777777777112222222449966888842112460651117777777771117771154960996088888806666000086066666660880652121111117777777777777777777777777177777777119861177777777777
7777777777112252225499600064512225544554994117777771177771177777111111122221112549999495111111111111117777777777777777777777777777777117777777714891177777777777
7777777777112555225999688651111225555468888886111112521588821111151111112544555522111125111117777711117777717777711777771111777777777117777777715851177777777777
7777777777112252225544608692111122255590888880862129668888808888808884408880888884212988888885111149211111125221111111125552177777777717777777715851177777777777
7777777777112522222555466069221112125544688888086211129808888888088888888888088888690888880808896888821111122211111112549521117777777777777777719851777777777777
7777777777112222212225549445222222225496008888808651112544511190888869088888888088888088888086515689111111111111111122525211177777711777777777710851777777777777
7777777777112222111222245512222522221154988888888888886517777777715996688888888888880888089521115941111111111111122549551111117777711177777777718841777777777777
7777777777112222112122222122222221212154688880888888888888064496808888888088888888808888888088888888045122225244669452111111111777111777777777714821177777777777
7777777777112522111212121222222222122259688888888888888888888888088888888808888808888888880888888808080066606694552211111111111171117777777777715021777777777777
7777777777112252211111212222222222222259688888888888888080888888888888888888888888888888888069600000000664522121111111111111111711111777777777714021777777777777
7777777777112522111112111212122222222259600888888888888888888888088888888888888888880066699946666066994522111117777771711111111111117777777777715421777777777777
7777777777111222211111112121212222212225998888888888880669996966660600888080066669944555225549955521111111177777777777111111111111117777777777712221777777777777
7777777777711111111211121112122222222225466888880888880694552222222225555555255555552212121211111111117777777777777111111111111111117777777777711217777777777777
7777777777711111111111111121222222222225460888808080808806452111111111111111111111111111111111111117177777777777111111111111111111177777777777711117777777777777
7777777777711212111111111111122222222222596008880088888800945212111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111171777777777777111177777777777777
7777777777111221111111111111212221212222259466088888800669954555555555552221111122222121111121211111112121111111111111111111111111177777777771252177777777777777
7777777777711252111111111111111212121212222544460800694455555549966008088806669945552222222222222222222222111111111111111111111177777777777772551177777777777777
7777777777711686111111112221212221212122212121525555525221222555999408888088880945522222222221112121222121111111111121111117111777777777777725517777777777777777
7777777771711880111111111111121112121222122222252525251222222255544490880880669452222222121211111112111111111111111111111111777777777777771552177777777777777777
7777711111112880111111111111111121212122222222222225555252522222255554066644551122212121211111211111111111111111111177771117777777777777715521777777777777777777
7771111111111688411111111111111112121222122222222222222225222222222215552512122222121212111111111111111111111111117771777777777777777777155217777777777777777777
1111111777771588841111111111111111212121212222222222222222222222222221212111212121111111111111111111111111111111177717777777777777777715451777712117777777777777
1111777777777188884111111111111111111111111222222222222222222222222212121111121111111111111111111111111111111111717777777777777777771255117777111111177777777777
1777777777777188880111111111111111111111112121222222222222222222212121111111111121111111111111111111111111111777777777777777777777112117777777777111111177777777
7777777777777108888611111111111111111111111111121212222222222212121211111211111111111111111111111111111111117777777777777777777711211777777777777711122111117777
1777777777777188888885111111111111111111111121112121212121212121212121211111111111111111111111111111111111177777777777777777771111177777777777777777111155455117
1177777777777198888888911111111111111211111111111222121222121112121112111111111111111111111111111111111111777777777777777771111177777777777777777777771111155521
1117777777777758808888861111111777111111212111111111111111112111211111111111111111111111111111111111111777777777777777777111177777777777777777777771111117711552
1117777777777198880808086211117777777711122222221111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111125
1117777777777108888888888841111117777777777111222252222222222222111111111111111111111111111111111111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111112
1111777777777188888888888888021111177777777777711111111112222222222222222222222222121111111111111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777711111111111
1111777777777188888880888888805111111177777777777777777777777711111111111111111111111111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111117
1111777777771808888888888888880421111111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111117
1111777777771888808088808888888886211111111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
1111777777715888888888888888880888841111111111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
1111177777778088888088888888808088888861111111111177777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
1111777777798888888888888888888888888808921111111111777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
2111177711888880888888888088888888888888809211111111111777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
1111111188888888888888888888888888088888888800411111111111111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111
2111171288888880888888888888888888888888888888880552211111111111117777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777111111111111

Here's one of those stories that you can dismiss as BS but it's true.
 
The first time I played Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, I triggered the Chris Houlihan room.  Specifically this happened about halfway through the light world sequence, where I decided to go back in the pit that you use to enter the castle at the very beginning.  This triggered the room, and I just assumed that this was an Easter egg for going back somewhere you'd never have any good reason to go to.  I have no idea if I accidentally triggered the bomb pegasus boots glitch or what, but somehow I triggered the error catch and went to the room.
 
I remember trying to go back there again and getting really confused by why dropping into the same pit didn't send me there later.  It wasn't until years later that I found out that it's actually tricky to accidentally end up there.
 
Also my name is Justin Bailey and so I'm the first person to find that password in Metroid.  Okay, that one is a lie, but the Zelda thing is true.

I bet if there was a Mario horror game there'd be too many jumpscares

Whenever I see anyone comment "savage" I fully expect to see it followed up by "UNATCO?"
 
When it is not, this disappoints me more than anything else on the internet.

Deus EX shitpost had lasting consequences on my sense of humor.
 
  

Whenever I see anyone comment "savage" I fully expect to see it followed up by "UNATCO?"
 
When it is not, this disappoints me more than anything else on the internet.

Whenever I see anyone comment "savage" I fully expect to see it followed up by "UNATCO?"
 
When it is not, this disappoints me more than anything else on the internet.

Desperate.

I had a dream where I went to the library on a walk.  I looked through the a few non-fiction books but didn't find anything I was interested in, so I left.
 
Then the whole thing turned into a Kafka story.
 
Despite not checking anything out I was called over by an employee and forced to do a "sign-out".  This annoyed me as a matter of principle, kind of like when stores say "do you we have your phone number yet?" when you are buying something.  I complained more about this than I would in real life, but went along with it.  In theory I just had to put my name down and something that was a number (it wasn't a phone number, might have been something like "how long have you lived in the neighborhood.")  But every time I did this I would be sent to another person and forced to fill it out again.  Eventually I got to someone who asked me "why have you been giving us a name for a person who doesn't exist?"  I took out my driver's license and even my library card to show that I was in fact real and in the system and then got told "such things can be forged" without them even being looked at.
 
Things continued in that way for over an hour of dream time, and then I decided to leave.  I was warned that the police would be called on me but I was firmly in "fuck this" mode.  The door to leave was actually locked, but it was one of those internal house locks that you can just pop by sticking something into the knob so I got out that way.  Then I saw it was pouring rain outside, and I had walked to the library, so now I either had to wait for the rain to stop or get absolutely soaked.

My best attempts to understand this in Kanji/"Literal Meaning"/Sparkle Name/Explanation format
 
夢姫 /"Dream Princess"/Pudding/I don't get it
駆馬/"Flying Horse"/Pegasus/Self Explanatory
七音/"Seven Sounds"/Do-Re-Mi/First three notes of the musical scale, which has seven notes
紅葉/"Crimson Leaf"/Maple/A fucking leaf
大海/"Big Sea"/Ocean/Self Explanatory, but it should be noted that this isn't the Japanese word for ocean (which would be 海 by itself.)
詞/"Poem"/Poem/Self Explanatory
今鹿/"Now Deer"/Nausicaa/Uses the English reading of "now" for the first character and the Japanese reading of "shika" for the second character.
黄熊/"Yellow Bear"/Pooh/Winnie the Pooh
爽斗/"Refreshing Ladle"/Mint/I don't get it.  The second character can have a reading of "to" so it might be a pun solely on the first character, like we saw for Nausica, but I can't figure out the joke that makes the first part read as "min".
心姫/"Heart Princess"/Heart/Self explanatory, the "princess" part is just there to look it sound like a girl's name.
心人/"Heart Person"/Heart/Like the last one, but with the girly "princess" replaced with something neutral.
一心/"One Heart"/Pure/The joke is that the instructor assumes this will be another "Heart" but instead we get "pure" by the idea that a pure person has their heart set on only one thing.
愛羅/"Love Covering"/Tiara/I'm not sure on this one.  The second character is read as "ra", and the instructor even gives a guess of "Aira" for the name, so it could be another joke on just hte first character. Or it could be a poetic description of a tiara as a lovely covering for your head.
桃花/"Peach Flower"/Pink/Because that's the color of the flower.
皇帝/"Emperor" (I mean if you want to get technical the first means 'Emperor' and the second means 'Sovereign' but together they just mean 'Emperor')/Caesar/Because Caesar is history's most famous Emperor
新一/"New One", but also a way of writing the common name "Shinichi"/Conan/Detective Conan reference, as discussed above.
一三/"One Three"/Nitori/I'm not sure what the name here is supposed to mean, so I just listed the phonetics.  I'm pretty sure that the the "Ni" is the "ni" for "two", but I'm not sure what the "tori" would mean.  Could be "birds."  My best guess here is that "two" appears as some sort of averaging of the two numbers?
美姫/"Beauty Princess"/Beauty/Self Explanatory
星凛/"Star Frigid"/Kirari meaning "A flash of light"/Probably a poetic description?  But there's another level of this joke in that the teacher seems to be guessing "Starry" instead of something like "Hoshirin."  You could get "Starry" by using the English meaning of the first character and phonetic meaning of the second, but this student is on another level of bullshit.
ららら/Rarara/Rarara/It's not funny when you explain it, but the joke here is that the name is very clearly spelled out phonetically and after all the bullshit we just encountered that's exactly what it is.
るるる/Rururu/Rururu/Same
プリンセスキャンディー/Purinsesukyandii/Princess Candy/Just "Princess Candy" written out in Katakana, without the sparkle Kanji bullshit.  (This easily could have been 姫飴.)
爆走蛇亜/"Explosion Run Snake Bad"/Back Soldier?/Pretty much just a phonetic reading.  This is not really a "Sparkle Name" but rather a reference to a trend where biker gangs in the 80's would use phonetic readings of "badass" kanji instead of kana.  A famous example of this is 夜露死苦 which means "Yoroshiku" which translates to something like "best regards" and is used as a polite greeting.  But the four kanji mean night, naked, death and suffering.
 ABCDE/ABCDE/ABCDE/It should be noted that this student is both blonde and speaks with a foreign accent.
笑冠/"Laugh Crown"/M-Cup/I think this comes from the first character being used in the verb 笑む/emu "to smile" and the second character being interpreted as "cap" or "kappu" which then becomes "cup".
愛保/"Love Preservation"/Love-Ho/I'm not sure if the last character is just phonetic or the English "Ho." Also I don't know if I'm reading too much into this but the teacher's first attempt at "Aiho" is very similar to "Aho", i.e. "idiot."
珍子/"Rare Child"/Yoshiko/Yoshiko is an actual Japanese name, though the first character would usually be something like 芳 (perfume).  It also might be a variant on "Yoiko" or "良子" meaning "good child."  But i don't get how the first character really works here.
宇宙/"Outer Space" or "the Universe" (technically the two characters have their own meaning, but it doesn't matter in this compound.)/Earth/The teacher guessed "Space" which would be a reasonable sparkle name, but Earth makes so little sense that we get the X-Files theme.
星/"Star"/Apple/The teacher gives two good "normal" guess than "star" but again the joke is that this reading makes no sense.
火星/"Fire Star" i.e. "Mars"/Jupiter/The teacher even says "This one's definitely Mars. It couldn't be anything other than Mars." But alas.
翼/"Wing"/Tsubasa/The joke here is that due to prior conditioning the teacher guesses the English "Wing" but in fact this is a not a sparkle name but rather anormal Japanese name written in a standard way.
And finally it is revealed that the teacher, Mr. Suzuki, has a full name of 鈴木力.  The last name is "Suzuki", written in a standard way, but his personal name is read as "Power" instead of "Chikara" or something similar, meaning that he's had a sparkle name all along.

I didn't get that one either, but now that you say it I'm pretty sure it is a Detective Conan reference.  Since the main character of the show goes by the alias of Conan, but has a real name of Shinichi.  It's even got the same written form of 新一 which is significant since Shinichi can also appear as 真一, 信一, 伸一, etc.
 
Judging by the comments on the video, that's also the favorite of the JP fans.

The timing/set up for the heart and space segments got me.
 
Was the Conan one just a reference to Detective Conan? I love the structure of the joke there but I definitely missed the content of it