You obviously don't see the same shit I do, because I see just as much "Liberal god-hating Socialists!" stuff as I do that.
Second:
They're seen that way because the extreme conservatives ARE that way. They may be the vocal minority, but unfortunately that vocal minority are the people IN OFFICE right now. Half or more of conservative legislatures are either stalling progress in Congress because they lost a vote but still don't want a bill passed, or legislatures with the intent of making gays and women 2nd class citizens at best.
A further 1/4 (that overlaps somewhat with that second bit) are based entirely on Christian beliefs ("Nope, Abortion is wrong. Don't give a fuck you're not a Christian and we're supposed to keep religion out of the government I wanna ban it").
The last 1/4 is a mixed bag of good and bad, like anything else.
Not saying liberals are all sunshine and roses but at least they don't show quite as much of the astonishing level of bigotry and ignorance as extreme conservatives do.
Get this straight!
I'm just a mean green donger from outer space,
and I'm bad!
I'm just a mean green donger from outer space,
and it looks like you been had!
I'm just a mean green donger from outer space,
So get off my back, 'n get out my face!
'Cause I'm MEAN AND GREEN,
And I am BAD!
Scout mains: Have a comp history, and thus have a strong hatred for crits and have a stock-or-go mentality; the more "advanced" Scout mains will also only play 5CP and Gravelpit. They usually do not use mic or chat at all, unless they come up against an equally skilled opposing scout main. The Scout versus Scout fight is sacred, so let the trashtalking commence
Soldier mains: If you're not pubstomping you aren't having fun. Any loss, no matter how close, will be blamed on their team's incompetence. Are often accompanied by their own personal pocketmedic and will suck up to other medics so they can add them to their evergrowing friendslist of dialup healing sources. As with the Scout main, an encounter with a fellow Soldier main wil result in a flurry of failed airshots
Pyro mains: Once pressed m2 in the general direction of a rocket and are now the kings of TF2. Will constantly complain about how Valve hates their class, and every new unlock addition is greeted with an article about how it makes the pyro less good in some way. They live in a hierarchy of elitism depending on primary, going Degreaser < Flamethrower < Backburner and are currently publishing a book about why their primary is best
Demoman mains: come in two flavors. The Demoknight main is stuck on a permanent level of noskill, and finds comfort by telling themselves they score low because they're "just joking around". The only players who actually want to play with random crits on. Stickydemos strictly play competitive, but will come down from the heavens once in a while to obliterate an entire server together with their team's Medic, in the same way a fat guy eats a bag of crisps by the handfull.
Heavy mains: are always Highlander players. Are in extreme denial about their class' skill requirement and will defend it at all costs. Occasional very, very new players also main Heavy, but surpass its skill ceiling after about 50 hours and go to another class.
Engineer mains: Come in two flavors. Stock Sentry Engineers are often new, low-skill players, but there are many outliers who have spent hundreds of hours maintaining their precious sentry nests. These players live a feng-shui lifestyle, content with their low skill level and content with defending the objective while others go out and have fun. Don't mention soldiers or demomen to them, however. Minisentry Engineers are the antithesis of their stock brethren: they live to ruin other players' fun. Armed with Pomson and Short Circuit they set out to koth servers to feed on the opposing team's tears. They see the low skill ceiling as an upside, since it leaves one hand free for other more throbbing matters.
Medic mains: contain 90% of the female TF2 players, as Medic is the most bishie of the TF2 mercs. Although the vast majority of them has a friendslist full of sugardaddies to cling onto and rack points, there is a minor few who stands through the shittyness of the average pubber and tries to actually medic a whole team even if that results in less points and more shittalk. These brave warriors should be applauded and will not be ridiculed even on this satire-ridden list. Although medic still takes zero skill.
Sniper mains: live on the concept of big-fish-small-pond. Too shitty to play realistic shooters, they hide in TF2 and nourish on its incredibly forgiving headshot hitbox and a lack of much opposing sniper skill. Sniper mains never communicate with other players as that would waste time that could be spent upping their k/d, the only thing that fills the void in their heart just a little bit.
Spy mains: Invented elitism. The fact alone that they pressed 9 in the class select menu makes them better than all other players on the server. If there are 3 or more Spies on their team they will be the loudest to complain that people should switch class, yet the least likely to actually switch themselves. Ironically are very similar to their nemesis Pyro mains in that they love to complain about how bad their class is and how much Valve hates them
Rammite was laying in his bed staring up at his ceiling fan. He had been severally depressed after breaking up with the >ghost of Dualjay. Ever since the >Rocky Mountain Man Quest 2012, Rammite's dong had grown so big from all the steak and goat head-butting that it'd quickly ruin all his relationships. "This dong is a curse, how did Guy ever live with such a problem?" Rammite said rolling over to his side. "If only Razputin hadn't destroyed Doopliss' gender bending machine, then maybe I could have used it to free myself of this manly curse." Rammite sighed and went back to sleep.
Several hours later, Rammite was woken up be something. He had heard a muffled voice that seemed to come from under him. "Feed me." Rammite quickly sat up in his bed in a panic and started looking around for the source of the voice. "Was that coming from under the bed?" Rammite said before quickly hopping off and looking under his bed. "Feed me." this time the voice seemed to have came from behind him. Rammite quickly turned around, but no sign of the source. "Show yourself!" Rammite yelled. "Feed me." Was all he heard.
Rammite was now shaking with fear. He slowly edged his way towards the box of stuff Dualjay had left in his house after the break up. Rammite opened the box and took out one of Dualjay's bad dragon dildos. Rammite held the dildo over his head ready to strike the first thing he saw. "Feed me." This time Rammite was able to pinpoint the source of the sound, and it was coming from inside his pants.
Part 2
Rammite carefully unzipped his pants. "Feed me." The voice said no longer muffled. Rammite slowly looked down, and saw that his dong was looking back at him. Rammite took Dualjay's bad dragon dildo and started to flail himself in the crotch out of fear. He instantly regretted that descision as he dropped to his knees in pain. "Feed me" the voice said uninterrupted by the dildo attacks. "What do you want?!" Rammite screamed at his dong. "Feed me." His dong obviously replied. "Oh yeah... should have guessed." Rammite said getting up off the floor.
Rammite scuttled to his kitchen with his pants around his feet. He opened his fridge and looked inside. As usual, there was plenty of steaks and eggs inside. "Feed me." The dong said lifting itself up towards the steak in the fridge. Rammite took a steak and fed it to his dong like you'd feed a dog table scraps. The dong quickly ate it up and slightly grew in size. Rammite kept feeding it steak and eggs, and each time the dong grew more and more.
Rammite had emptied out his fridge, and his dong had grown quite a bit. The dong was now on the floor by several feet. "That's all the food I have, sorry." Rammite said looking at his dong. "Pa...papa." The dong said looking back at Rammite. "Did you just call me papa? Maybe all this steak is making my dong smarter." Rammite said struggling to walk over to his couch. Rammite plopped himself down in the couch. "You know, I should give you a name... How about... Douglas." Rammite said laying back and getting comfortable. Just as he got cozy, there was a knock at his door.
Part 3
Rammite panicked and threw a blanket over Douglas. "Come in, it's open." Rammite said trying to act nonchalant. Idiot Cube walked in carrying a cardboard box that was dripping all over the carpet. "I brought you some steaks since I heard you were under the weather." Idiot Cube said setting the box down by Rammite's feet. "Why did you use a cardboard box to carry raw steaks?" Rammite asked looking at his carpet. "Don't judge me, it's my fetish." Idiot Cube replied looking offended. Douglas then raised his head and started sniffing at the air. "STEAK!!!" Douglas yelled before throwing off the blankets and diving head first into the steaks.
"C-c-carnivorous dong! Screw this, I'm not going out like my dad." Idiot Cube screamed before running out of Rammite's house. Douglas quickly finished off the box of steaks before Rammite could do anything about it. The steaks in the box were enough to make Douglas even bigger than Rammite was. "MORE!!!" Douglas yelled before lunging forward and crawling across the ground like a snake. Rammite tried to stop Douglas, but Douglas' thrusts were too powerful.
Douglas dragged Rammite to the neighbors house where he head-butted their door down. Douglas quickly slithered inside and emptied out their fridge of steaks. Douglas then went and did the same to all the the neighbor's houses. With each house Douglas grew bigger and bigger. It wasn't long before he couldn't use their doors anymore, and had to bust down the walls of their houses to get in. "I crave more steak!" Douglas yelled after finishing off the last house's steak. Douglas had now grown to the size of a van.
Part 4
Rammite's feet no longer touched the ground, so he was completely under control of Douglas' whims. Douglas raised his head and sniffed at the air. "I smell steak to the north." Douglas said slithering towards the main part of town. "Douglas, there are innocent people there. They need steak to live too." Rammite shouted, pounding his fist into Douglas' back. Douglas just ignored Rammite's pleas and moved even faster. Rammite noticed a familiar face on the side of the road. "Oh look, it's Comeau." Rammite said waving at his friend. Comeau waved back, but soon was out of Rammite's sight.
Douglas quickly reached the edge of town. The smell of steak was thick in the air. Douglas roared loudly, waving his head back and forth, and then charged at the first source of steak he could smell. The Steak and Steak was first to go, followed by the Steak-Fil-A, Jamba Steak, Steak Queen (and King), Steakway, Steak Hut, KFS, McSteaks, and Steak Bell. With every fast-food restaurant, Douglas grew bigger, and the bigger he grew the faster he was able to eat steak. It wasn't long before Douglas was able to finish off all the restaurants in town.
After eating all that steak, Douglas had grown to the size of a small building. "The smell of steak is gone. Where did the steak go?" Douglas asked sniffing at the air. "You ate all the steak there was in town, Douglas. There is no more steak to be had." Rammite replied barely able to move on Douglas' back. "WHAT?! NO MORE STEAK!!!" Douglas screamed, looking around frantically for steak. Rammite thought of a plan at that moment. "I was wrong, there is more steak. It's just well hidden." Rammite said with a smirk on his face. "WHERE?!" Douglas shouted, still looking around in every direction. "To your left." Rammite said pointing at a coffee shop were Huff and Skye were drinking outside.
Part 5
Huff and Skye had spent the entire afternoon gossiping and drinking coffee. They were so wrapped up in it, that they didn't even notice that a giant dong had been attacking and destroying all the fast-food restaurants around town. Skye had one of his scarves wrapped around his face, which made drinking coffee very difficult. Thankfully, there were plenty of napkins at their table. Douglas' approach had made the ground start to shake. "Is your stomach rumbling, Skye." Huff asked taking a long sip from his coffee. "That's not me, but I do need to go on a diet." Skye replied with a shirt covered in coffee. "Oh no you don't, Skye. You look fabulous. I need to go on a diet." Huff replied, obviously fishing for compliments.
Before they could get locked in a never ending cycle of saying the other one looks skinny and that they need to go on a diet, Douglas had arrived and interrupted them with an earth-shattering roar. "Oh look, it's Tyrone." Skye said looking up at Douglas. "You slut." Huff scoffed at Skye. "STEAK!!!" Douglas roared at them. "There's no steak here. It's the Vegan Hippy Cafe." Huff replied taking another long sip of coffee. "That's perfect." Rammite thought to himself. "Huff, Skye, get as much tofu as you can and give it to the monster dong." Rammite screamed, barely able to be heard from behind Douglas.
Huff and Skye didn't disagree with Rammite's plan, since they wanted Douglas to stop annoying them so they could go back to their coffee and girl talk. They looked at each other briefly before Skye said. "Well I bought the coffee today." Huff rolled his eyes and went inside the Vegan Hippy Cafe. He came out carrying a large armful of tofu, and placed it down on the table. Douglas sniffed at the tofu. "THAT'S NOT STEAK!" Douglas roared at them, covering the two in his spit. "You have to find some way to make him eat it!" Rammite screamed as loud as he could.
"I got it!" Skye said wiping Douglas' spit off his face and taking off his scarf. Skye laid it flat on the table, and then loaded all the tofu onto his scarf, turning it into a makeshift sling. "What are you doing?" Huff asked. Skye didn't answer, he just started to spin the scarf sling as fast as he could. Douglas roared at the two loudly, opening his mouth up very wide. "Smile you son of a bitch." Skye yelled, flinging the tofu into Douglas' mouth. The tofu caused Douglas to start to flail around in pain. His entire body started to bubble and shake. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Douglas screamed before exploding. "You did it." Rammite said running over to Huff and Skye.
It then started to rain, but it was not raining water. Thousands of dongs rained down from the sky. "The dongpocalypse is upon us." Huff declared.
Heh, yes, probably, like the TFC Engineer is all overweight and has robot legs right? So, he probably won't recognize him, so the TF2 Engie will think he killed his father.
"I'll never join you, you killed my father."
"No Dell, I AM your father."
"NNNOOOOOONNNOOOOOOPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE.avi!!!!"
Fixed
Idiot Cube reacted to Rynjin in Why Are Conservatives Frowned Upon?