Comeau

That's right, it's back!!! You thought I dropped it after the first season, you were WRONG! Suck it!
 
Anyway, all gloating aside, I really am appreciative of the feedback I have gotten from last season and am highly looking forward for the continuation your criticism and praise. As like last time, I will be introducing some of your guys' characters (with your previous permission of course) into the story, and promise not to screw them up too much. Keep an eye out for those.
 
For this season as well, I will be introducing a new interactive feature I recommend you guys use to enhance with your imagination when reading. I'd like to call it Mood Music(TM). With this system, I will link a song or a piece of music before the chapter starts, and that will serve as the theme song/background music of that chapter. For example, playing the Star Wars music above and reading the prologue, makes it feel like the opening Star Wars crawl don't it?  Well, that is just one instance of what I'm trying to accomplish with this system: to provide a piece most befitting the chapter to enhance your reading experience. There are some nuances to this system though I'd like to list:
 
1.) By default, press play once you start reading. If I want you to press play at a certain time in the chapter, I will note the sentence in which you hit play.
 
2.) I will note the specific second to start the music on (e.g 1:23, or 0:34 or 4:55, etc.). If no time is stated, start at 0:00.
 
3.) Generally, unless otherwise noted, if it's a song with lyrics, it's just a general theme for the chapter, that most of the time, is not really connected to a specific part of the chapter, just play it and let your imagination do the rest.
 
Follow these guidelines, and you should get the most out of the music I post. While on the subject, I am also looking into finding themes for each of the characters (I already have a few in mind while writing this). If you have a recommendation for a theme song/track for a particular character, post it here or PM me, and I'll consider it.
 
So without further adieu, welcome to the second season of The Eternal Adventures, coming soon to a sub-forum near you.
 

Hello everyone who is browsing this post, I hope you are all doing well this day/evening
My name is Frostblight and just like everyone else here (I hope) I am a avid video game player. I play many video games but currently i am just playing guilty gear xrd (I am new to fighting games so i am also learning on how to actually play them). However I do play many other games such as Team Fortress 2 and DOTA 2 for example.
I don't know what else to say really.
Nice to meet you all.

Greetings! 
 
 

nintendo when

​IN THEATRES NOW: GIANT NOT-ROBOT SPACE LIZARD VS GIANT AUSTRAILIAN ROBOT IN NOT-JAPAN: THE MOVIE
COMING THIS SUMMER

you people are weird
 

​It's a metaphor spongebob

high quality tusk/tiny (with no points in grow) rule 34 with two frames of animation

make a video where it turns out everyone and everything ever consumed by painis cupcake is actually alive in a tiny universe inside his stomach, where the internet is against the law. a star studded gaggle of your favorite bunch of random gmod characters and a magic train called choochoociano pavarotti who can fly and is voiced entirely from chopped up vocals of opera singers have to go on a heroic quest to find a dank meme portal to escape back to the real world all the while pursued by the tyrannical cupcake nazis who run this tiny universe. it should be noted that the national anthem of the cupcake nazis is in fact the cuppy cake song because I want at least one scene where a bunch of cupcakes in nazi garb are all standing around marching and saluting while listening to that song. 
you can do whatever you want as far as the rest of the plot as long as in the end the gmod characters all teach 4chan the true meaning of christmas even though it isn't christmas. It will be called "Pain Train Cuppy Quest, An Opera: The True Story of Nelson Mandela".
also the soundtrack has to be exclusively made up of herb alpert and linkin park. and of course the cuppy cake song. this is non negotiable.
you will not be paid for this.
okay, so 
get to it.

You are always welcome Comeau

​You've been accumulating hats all year, man. And don't get me started on how hard it is to balance a hat at a 45 degree angle on one corner of a cube, let alone three.

Obscure pipe man makes his festive return.

Let's share some stories about how we've embarassed ourselves in the past
Back in high school when I was about 15-16 years old, I was invited by a friend to come hang out with some of his friends later that evening. I didn't know these people and they were all older than me so it was a bit awkward, but we had fun just hanging around at my friend's place. Around 10 however, people were getting bored of just sitting around and we wanted to go somewhere. One of them knew there was a party going on at the animal farm, but noone knew where that exactly was. I knew however! So we jumped into the car and drove off whilst I gave directions, happy to be in charge of this group of cool people for a while. And about twenty minutes later, we got there:
"...Raz?"
"yeah?"
"this is an animal farm"
"yeah!"
"...with goats and chickens and stuff"
"......yeah?"
And it turned out, "the Animal Farm" was the name of some kind of bar-dance hall thing and in retrospect it didn't make much sense there would be a dance party in the stables. So as we still didn't know where the Animal Farm was we just awkwardly hung out at the actual animal farm for an hour before driving back and luckily I never had to see those friends of a friend again for the rest of my life. The End.

I bought a fedora when I was in elementary school
I went through the full fedora phase (including antitheism, a lot of memes, nice guy/why don't girls like me, etc) over about two years starting in fifth grade, and while it was regrettable, I'm glad I got it out of the way when I did
 
today while I was at the bike shop at which I work, I was sitting with my bike on a trainer (looks like this) with my cycling shoes on, trying to get into a new set of clipless pedals
for those who don't know what clipless pedals are, they're basically hard pieces of plastic that attach to the bottom of your shoe combined with a metal pedal that basically just has a hole that's slightly too small
so you shove the plastic piece on the bottom of your shoe through the hole and it locks your foot in so you can pedal more efficiently, safely and smoothly (you usually get out by twisting your foot in some weird way)
well, these pedals were brand new and extremely stiff, so much so that I literally could not get my foot to lock in even by putting literally 100% of my weight on it (most riders are heavier than I am and don't have a problem with this)
some of you may see the problem
in order to get my foot in, I had the great idea of standing up with the left pedal on the top and dropping my weight on it as hard as I could so that I'd pop in at the bottom
this, of course, sent me, my bike, and the trainer swiftly to the left and onto the shop floor
but get this: I clipped in
and I couldn't get out
so I was stuck to my bike, my bike was stuck to the trainer and we were all on the floor. thankfully the shop owner was in the back and there were no customers in the store
I had to reach under the bike and unlace my shoe so that I could get out and clean up the mess I made
I was able to break them in a bit but I still can't really get out and I'm terrified of what will happen when I decide to actually go for a ride

Alright, I figured I'd move all the shit about my Jacket cosplay out of TIAM:Gaming and here instead, as it's under way. Since the letter jacket I ordered is a bit too tight, I'll be going for his Payday 2 look rather than his classic Hotline rendition.
Planned/necessary additions:
Replica Jacket's Piece. Painted with a gradient, stencils for the palm trees, and stickers for Richard and the 50 Blessings logo. Base will be an airsoft Mac-10 A baseball bat, covered in fake blood. A teal shirt to wear under the jacket. Older tennis shoes or sneakers. I need to ask my mom what they wore in the 80's. A tape recorder with a tape of some of Jacket's lines. Hand wrapping. Less fucking gut on me holy SHIT I need to get in shape. Better selfie skills. I am not doing myself any favors. Completed steps:
Prepare jacket and jeans. Sew B out of felt and attach to jacket. Prepare Richard mask. Prepare belt. Here's what it looks like so far. Finally took a pic because my room isn't pig disgusting messy any more. Also my clothes are wrinkly; haven't had time to iron lately. I think my monitor's resolution is fucked up. I hope I don't look that fat at least jesus fucking christ.

I'm probably one of the least known "recruits" here, I have about 400 posts on the tf2 section and only posted really when someone needed help with a tf2 bug or problem. I know a lot about tf2 and how things in the game work and I'm ready to be cut open and eaten, even if you don't know who I am.
 
also corvette and davjo I know I said I didn't care for this place but something is drawing me to it

America will win because the Japanese pilot is just gonna whine about his dead mom and masturbate to comatose girls

Wait a second, guys...this is an underdog who will have to work hard and believe in himself in order to overcome impossible odds!
Western media tropes are on our side!

The SPUFiest Place on Earth
A spiritual sequel to >Senior Prom Users Forums
 
Map:



 
Prolouge
 
Ian clicked the phone's receiver back onto its dock. That last transaction had been a bit expensive, but he felt that they'd deserved it. They weren't the most couth set of forumgoers, but if they needed anything, it was a vacation, especially since Hertz had accidentally set the SubSPUF mansion of fire last week. Poor Paero had been sleeping under the stars since his roof burned down.
 
In any case, he'd somehow managed to pay for it. That somehow being the emptied larder of Bluz's bank account. Hopefully he'd be able to sleep off the bruises. Ian took another look at the flyer in front of him. Not really any use in doing so, seeing as he'd just taken the deal it advertised, but it looked nice, he guessed.
 
"Rent Anaheim Disneyland!
 
Great for church groups, graduating classes, or a bunch of dickweed forumgoers!
 
Rate: 30,000 reputation points/night."
 
Yeah, nothing could go wrong, Ian thought to himself. It was the happiest place on Earth after all.

Honestly speaking? Not telling him "No".
 
A player should not be part of encounter design, ever. If you're iffy on future encounters, after the current one ask the party how they felt about this one. If they did not like it, they will probably tell you. Sometimes with strong language.
 
Your first mistake was giving him that Ring of Invisibility, even with the "downsides" (being invisible gives everyone a 50/50 shot to miss him on top of his AC...a +2 to-hit and an inability to Plane Shift or Teleport doesn't matter in taht context). Or at the very least, you can do like one of my GMs does, and give EVERYBODY something along those lines. For exampe, we are level 3 and one member just got a +3 suit of Celestial Mail (a secret giftfrom the Dread Lord Cthulhu), and the Ninja has a Ring of Invisibility (secretly given to him by his patron, Sun Wukong), and my Paladin has some sort of Adamantine scythe being forged by a confluence of the Archangel Michael, a dwarven smith, and a Bronze (Gold?) Dragon providing the forge fire. And everyone else has something like that coming their way in the near future.
 
Equal footing, basically.
 
The Demonic pact thing I would flatly say no to. That's just giving him more inherent power for no discernible purpose.
 
I consider myself a fairly lenient GM too, but you can't allow EVERYTHING.

peta causes autism

Yes, I have started my own gaming youtube channel! Under the name paperskate I will talk about video games and probably magic the gathering as well. There will be a lot of Team Fortress 2 footage so if you ever wanted to call my bluff on my skillboasting this is your chance
 
Right now I have two videos made, the first one being a simple montage of me fucking around as Engineer on gorge, and in the second one I talk about

I'd like to present to all of the residents of this here forum a collected log of unexpected altercations between my boy-fists and my keyboard.
 
Do not be alarmed, my dearest friends; these horrendous collisions of plastic keys and perspiring digits did not come of some foul union between the Hells themselves and some higher literary power (perhaps a God?) - but from the abuse of an irreproachable keyboard by an inebriated, shitposting Canadian. While I cannot affirm that these tales are of any fine grade, I can assure you that you (all the while delving into the surreal tales of BURGER LOVE, fotantoes, and auto-valets) face no strong risk of the sudden development of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy; experiencing a series of psychosexual issues which each contradict the former's symptoms; and/or the desire to consume large quantities of tortilla chips and carbonated soda.
 
These stories contain no real connection or continuity; the characters have no solid backstory, the setting is never consistent, & the plot elements always change. I did it that way to minimize the focus of how realistic or genre-specific the works all were/would be; and to put the reader in a state of confusion where it was going to be necessary for them to define their understanding of the tale - and not to rely on the factual or opinionated evidence of other parties (isolationist fiction which functions easily as an over-extended allegory for growing up and developing your own self-image).
 
Please note that this is a continuing collection; there is not definitive limit to the list. With that in mind, updates will be sporadic and often inconsistently scheduled (expect the most input on the weekend). Submissions of your own to the Collection are welcome and appreciated. The original two stories come from Pastebin; links will be provided to preserve the quality of the originals.
 
tl;dr I write stories when I get high & drowsy off of my sleeping meds. Enjoy.
 
Part 1/12.5 billion

Spoiler There stood a fotanto in the corridor. Chitinous legs raked and skidded along the walls of the doorman's delivery house - too many footprints to count. Every muscle and every rigid plate of exoskeletal armor glistened like wet latex in the bloated veil of the moonlight. Whatever the poor foreman had conjured up for graveyard shift equipment, godshark knew it wouldn't be able to tear that predatory cretin apart without a miracle.   Gibbous the moon dribbled over the forms of the monstrous chitin-beast and the inadequately prepared construction worker; every crack of the fresh wood against it's massive needle-legs accented the panicked breaths of the man only to be know to the world as Gholdread Joerlad (well, soon - in the mortuary papers). Every jittery shriek with bending intonation that came from the wedged mandibles of the bulbous beast came with the groans and pained wheezings of the newly renovated 30-story apartment complex. Every rip-roaring shotgun shell which kissed the air into a conical shower of leaden death brought itself in-tandem with the revolting repositioning of the 1,500 pound oddity along the meagre skeleton of carpeted concrete and steel I-beams.   this was the funniest shift that would be taken by the man known that singular title:   DOUBLE DOCTOR MCSCREWBAG: Gholdread Mandrealdaed

 
Part 7/011010000110000101101101011000100111010101

Spoiler Bmufe Springsdeen was a man of profound BURGER LOVE; he would never be able to turn down a hawt, sensual burdger late and willing to engage in several kinky and DEFINITELY NOT PG-14 antics with him and that -worthy tongue/mouth of his ... sorr that was just some sauce running down my leg.   Monday morning at JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DELI BOY, Bmufe's jungle of an upper lip twitched at the sight of the classic $5 blackboard menu that so eagerly spelt in flawed Jamaican-English "HOT SAUSY BURG! Megafoud fries wiat great salat"; apparently the entire thing "w/ BIG SHOPIN SODAA" was only $90.81 USD - a minor inconvenience for a BURGER LOVE Rwandan male like himself. For this, he wouldn't TUTSI-ROLL over, never - he would take that goddamned burg like a man and give him a hawt, sensual Dijon mustard sauna rub STRAIGHT IN THE FACE>    Rolling out the Einstenian-geometries of that godawful Plymouth Superbird that his mother drove around, the saxophone-clad biker heartthrob known as "The Sauce Boss who's Talking' BURGER LOVE, Hoss" inched ever-closer to the beachside club that was known only as JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DELI BOY - intent on getting his BURGER LOVE only with side-salad and Jamaican jerk spice rubbed all over it like COMMUNIST PROPOGANDA.           There was no door to impede his facticious entrance into the fashionable beach-hut diner, only a rebellious and zealous youth whose aura of nauseating zeal and tits-awful acne situation defined him as the Pastafarian waiter snob whose sole existence would ruin the hedonistic garnishes and overall experience of Bmufe's all-too-real BURGER LOVE. This youth was to undergo the name "Cockdune Burgergobbels" and would never be able to achieve enough credibility in the eyes of the Sauce Boss who's Talking' BURGER LOVE, BOSS.   "Ey mon, and welcome to JOE'S JAMACAI STYLE DINER; may I talk your order?" Now, this reasonable response not only endangered the promise of a delicious BURGER LOVE experience; but dared to take the goddamned plate and swing for the moon like Pachino was playing you in a Sandlot movie SONN with it's bold misappropriation of "mon". This little trashhole was going to end up with his fist in the wrong side of the pelvis tonight. "Sir, I am BMUFE SPRINGSDEEn, and my burger is needed for the pleasureable of" oh jesus why Bmufe. You let the greasy sheen of this mentally challenged teeny-bopper poison your heart. Your HU-U-UNGRY HEAAAUUUAAAUUAAUAUAUARARARTT. This would only promote your policy of ethno-religious cleansing for your upcoming political platform, BURGER LOVE NEBRASKA FOR @)!33.           Then came the sounds of the youngest member of JOE's frail bones being compacted between the gossamer-like spit and the balsa-thick central incisors, which glistened from sunlight hung by the thatch rooftop of the diner and dove into the bowels of Bmufe's freakishly large mouth. Muscles which rippled with vein and resilient tendon became thick, ground worms of flesh and blood-pulp; teeth and bone ground coarsely into filler between freshly formed slabs of Burgergobbels; and the fluid sacs of eyes and kidneys and the stomach were reduced to shredded, fatty herbs inbetween the layers of meat. A guttural roar like a low E major erupted from Springsdeen's daemonic maw, one of unrequited BURGER LOVE COMING TO PASS.   the salad that came after was okay i guess.   So after that, Bmufe decided to play his saxaphone for a bit and fucked off shortly afterwords.   everybody's got a h u n g r y  h e a r t, everybody's got a hungry heart   you put your money down and play your part   everybody's got a HUHHUGH HAUNGARYHAAAAAURT   AH AH OUH OH A AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH   hungryhearthungryhearthungryheartplayyourhungryheartplaypartplayhearthungryhurthungryheartplayparthungryhearthangryhurtpaurtpayhungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungryhearthungry HUNGRY