Gyokuyoutama

Hello there, once again SubSPUF pals! It’s the Holiday Season, and we all know what that means! It’s time for an all new, exciting Smissmas Update idea! “But LordAIDS Monkey”, you may ask, “didn’t we already get a new update in the form of all new taunts and a Smissmas Stocking?!” Yes! We did, and let me say that Valve’s new excuse for a Smissmas routine has really grown quite tired! But never fear, I’m HERE to introduce to all you an EXCITING new idea, cooked up a year in advance so that Valve might borrow (steal) and implement it for NEXT YEAR’S UPDATE! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the thrilling idea!
 
…
 
     It was a normal day in TF2 Land. But it wasn’t just ANY normal day! It was a normal Smissmas Day, and the Scout was throwing his yearly Smissmas Bash! All the mercs, of course, attended Scout’s little party. As Scout was going around, making sure all the guests were enjoying the festivities, he heard a peculiar noise that no party host ever wants to hear. “Ayyy, this party SUCKS!” shouted the drunken Demoman.
     “Huhuhuh! Heya, pally! There's no need to be feeling blue about my party! We’re bringing out the piñata soon, so good times are sure arise!” assured Scout. As Scout spoke, a knocking was heard at his door.
     “Yeehaw! Looks like we company, Scout! Don’t ya’ll worry, I’ll open the door faster than a barrel down a hill.” Engineer opened the door, and his jaw dropped immediately upon seeing who their guest was. Their guest was none other than the Smissmas Dinosaur himself!
     “Hello there, my little mercenaries. I’m here to warn you to be wary!
The Smissmas Holiday is currently in danger, and it’s all thanks to some mysterious stranger!
I don’t know who or what it is. But one thing’s for sure, it hates Smissmas!
So I humbly ask you for your aid, and as a reward, you shall be greatly paid.
No, not with money or things of that gist. But with a place on my jolly, nice list!”
     The mercenaries were unsure if they wanted to help the Smissmas Dinosaur. Afterall, he has tried to kill them on multiple occasions. (For those of you who are not aware, the Smissmas Dinosaur has been a recurring villain of sorts, as the mercenaries are always on the naughty list!) The mercenaries were also a bit confused as to what the task at hand was. Smissmas in danger? What?! Scout spoke up. “Huhuhu! Hey, Mr. Dinosaur, I for one, would love to help ya’ out! But, uh, what is it exactly you want us to do? Huhuhu.”
     “If we want to see our halls be decked, then I have some gifts you must protect!
For many of the presents I’ve made this year, have vanished, yes, disappeared!
A menace must be behind this trick... It must be a holiday-hating-prick!
So I ask of you, dear little Scout! Please figure what this mess is about!
If you don’t, Smissmas will take a bad toll! And you’ll all be receiving some dino-shit coal.”
     “Well, count us in then!” The mercs all shouted with glee! Yes, for once the mercs have all unanimously agreed on something. And thus it was decided, that they would seek out this holiday-hater. But, who in the right mind WOULD be such a holiday hater? Let’s find out!
Meanwhile, in a dark, snowy cavern, was a tall figure sitting by a warm fire lit by burning Smissmas presents and the dreams of children. “Gah. I hate presents. I hate snow, I hate that dinosaur. But most of all, I HATE SMISSMAS!” This monster was none other than… THE BAH-HUM BUG! And this guy is bad news for sure! He decided to, once more,  steal the presents and dreams of children. And so he donned his hat, and set out.
     Later, the mercenaries were guarding their presents, and that’s when the Bah-Hum Bug appeared! “Hello mercenaries. Just step aside, and I’ll be taking your gifts.”
“Huhuhu! No chance, pally! These gifts are the property of the children, so you aren’t getting them!” Scout and his friends all formed a great barrier to block the Bah-Hum Bug’s attempts, but the Bah-Hum Bug came prepared to deal with these silly mercs.
     “Hmmph! Fine then! Get a taste of THIS!” Suddenly, the Bah-Hum Bug began absorbing the holiday spirit from all the mercenaries! “Hahaha! This will make great fuel for my fire back home! Now step aside, those gifts are MINE!” The mercenaries, now essentially soulless, listened to the Bah-Hum Bug. The Bah-Hum Bug made off with the gifts, and this is where our update begins!
 
...
 
     This update would be shipped with an all new game-mode, that ties directly to my Smissmas Story! The gamemode, Smissmas Spirit, will feature take place in a fairly large map, split off into two separate zones. In the first zone is where the bulk of the match will occur. The decor here would be some sort of snowy hill, with a couple of structures to provide shelter. Here, RED and BLU will be pitted in a usually death match, where the objective is to kill one another, and collect the small bits of holiday spirit from their victims. There will also be small spawns of holiday spirit across the map that must be collected. After a set time, the first portion of the map will come to an end. Whichever team collects the most holiday spirit wins this portion.
     Now this where things get REAL crazy. After the first portion of the game, the mercs are magically teleported into the Bah-Hum Bug’s icy lair. Whichever team won the first portion of the game receives significant buffs in this second portion of the match. But in this second portion, the objective is not to kill one another, but to kill the Bah-Hum Bug himself! That’s right! The Bah-Hum Bug makes an appearance as the boss this update! He’d, of course, have many dangerous attacks at his disposal, including throwing bombs, throwing presents, throwing present bombs, and a short-ranged attack that absorbs your holiday spirit, draining all your ammo and dropping you to 1 hp. (But an FYI, Scouts using the Wrap Assassin or Candy Cane, Heavies using Holiday Punch, and Spies using the Spycicle will be immune to this effect! However, festive weapons will not be immune, so don’t ask, you P2W sluts!) Respawn will be disabled during the second phase, so don’t die! If both teams die, everybody loses. If you happen to be alive when the Bah-Hum Bug dies, you win completely independent of your team! If you don’t win, you don’t get any goodies. Too bad!
And what are these goodies I speak of? Well, a mandatory achievement that earns you the Bah-Hum Bug’s hat! But there are even more great achievements that can be earned, including the obligatory achievement where you must win on this map 8,000 times.
 

"BAH HUMBUG!" -Bah-Hum Bug
 
     And what update would be complete without WEAPONS!? Well, according to Valve, every update is acceptable as long as they’re making money. But in my book, we oughta have weapons. So I’m gonna list a few neat concepts for you all! The mercenaries were all on the nice list this year, so they have the Smissmas Dinosaur’s permission to be total douches next year, with these cool new weapons that’ll make your team sure to hate you!
 
The Speed Snatcher
Level 0 Bat
Hit teammates to steal 10% of their speed for 3 seconds
-30% damage
No random crits
Scout can hiit teammates to take 10% of their speed to add to your own for 10 seconds. If you hit a medic healing you, you can infinitely stack speed boosts because Valve bugs are fun!
 
The Tragic Tap
Level 0 Battle Banner
Buff built through death of allies in a nearby radius
Buff refills health
Buff grants full crits
Buff only applies to user
 
This is a Soldier Banner! It fills up by ⅓ everytime a teammate dies near you. Once full, you can blow it like a regular banner, restoring your health and granting crits to you for 10 seconds.

 
The Pain-Bow
Level 0 Flamethrower
Damage increases by 15% for each teammate on fire
Can not extinguish teammates
No random crits
 
This is a Pyro Flamethrower that promotes W+M1, the likes of which no one has ever seen. For each teammate on fire, anywhere, you gain a damage increase. But you can’t extinguish pals!
 
Sharing is Caring
Level 0 Lunchbox
Feed a sandvich to a teammate to become bound to them
If your bound teammate dies, you recieve mini crits for 2 seconds
Sandwiches don’t heal
 
An all new sandvich for heavy! If this weapon doesn’t teach Heavies to share their damn Sandviches, nothing will. Eating it yourself doesn’t do anything. Don’t eat it.
 
The Frontier Vengeance
Level 0 Shotgun
Gain two revenge crits for every teammate that dies
You do not receive revenge crits if you have an active sentry
-50% clip size
No random crits
 
This is an Engie shotgun! It gains two revenge crits every time a teammate dies, keeping them stored on your HUD. You receive your crits whenever your active sentry goes down.
 
Health Insurance
Level 0 Medigun
Uber grants invincibility, knockback immunity, megaheal, 100% crit chance, and speed boost
+500% Uber build rate.
Uber remains in effect after weapon switch
-40% Uber duration
Uber only triggers on patient death
Uber does not affect patients
 
This is a Medigun! It functions like stock, but Uber builds REALLY fast! The catch is that it only activates when your patient dies, and is only capable of affecting the medic wielding it.
 
Strength in Numbers
Level 0 Sniper Rifle
Gain 20% bodyshot damage for each sniper on your team
Headshots only deal mini-crits
Can only fire when scoped
 
This is an all new rifle! This weapon rewards you to play as Outback Steakhouse Man, as they say, strength in numbers! You get a damage boost for the more snipers you have!
 
The Double-Double Agent
Level 0 Disguise Kit
Spy can initiate pain-links by backstabbing teammates
When disguised, you take 50% less damage and will not receive status effects
Cannot disguise manually
Pain-link partner receives other 25% of regular damage
 
This is an all new disguise kit! It allows you to form a bond like no other with your team. When disguised as them, they take some damage for you. You can't disguise as enemies at all!
 
Demoman doesn’t get anything because he can just play Demoknight if he wants his team to hate him.
 
And that's a wrap! Merry Smissmas to all you good folks! As always, I look forward to sharing more fantastic update ideas with you in the future. But until that day comes, this is LordAIDS Monkey, signing OUT!

Major The Last Jedi spoilers:
 

Major The Last Jedi spoilers:
 

GAH ITS EITHER WAIT TILL AFTER FINALS TO SEE IT WITH FRIENDS OR WAIT EVEN LONGER TO SEE IT WITH MY DAD. 
 
Normally I don't care about spoilers, but I spoiled TFA, and really missed out I think on some stuff that I would have liked to go in blind on. 
 
As such you could post pretty much whatever you want, and label it "TLJ Spoilers"

I've opened this thread like five times because I want to read all of those juicy spoilers but I'll hate myself if I do

Again, that's pretty much exactly what the oscars are, so mission accomplished.
 
Well, that and handing out awards via a complicated system of favors owed (including awards to make up for previous snubs).

This type of discussion is, incidentally, why shitposts by people with anime avatars unironically have a greater rhetorical power in the realm of politics than actual discussion of the issues.

There's not enough common ground between people for them to come to any meaningful sort of consensus, and even if there were most people (even most intelligent people) aren't moved by dialectic argument anyway (as even Aristotle observed over 2000 years ago).

Personally, I think that the current political framework of "liberty and equality" as opposed to "authority and duty" naturally leads to a form of ingrained sociopathy.  The only question is which form it takes.  More specifically, liberty and equality are incoherent notions on a grand political scale; absent an anarchy a government must always take some action which restricts someone's liberty (and even in an anarchy powerful thugs can do much the same thing), and perfect equality is neither obtainable nor desirable.  But if you have those goals as your basis for your political thought you can't admit this, and thus must pretend that things which would seem to be unliberal or unequal actually are liberal and equal.
 
Individuals will resolve the paradox by making unprincipled exceptions, but they will do so in different places.  And when people who have made disagreeing unprincipled exceptions encounter each other, they will not be able to interact beyond calling the other a monster or an asshole.  You can't have a pleasant conversation where you reason through positions that have buried logical inconsistencies, after all.

Personally, I think that the current political framework of "liberty and equality" as opposed to "authority and duty" naturally leads to a form of ingrained sociopathy.  The only question is which form it takes.  More specifically, liberty and equality are incoherent notions on a grand political scale; absent an anarchy a government must always take some action which restricts someone's liberty (and even in an anarchy powerful thugs can do much the same thing), and perfect equality is neither obtainable nor desirable.  But if you have those goals as your basis for your political thought you can't admit this, and thus must pretend that things which would seem to be unliberal or unequal actually are liberal and equal.
 
Individuals will resolve the paradox by making unprincipled exceptions, but they will do so in different places.  And when people who have made disagreeing unprincipled exceptions encounter each other, they will not be able to interact beyond calling the other a monster or an asshole.  You can't have a pleasant conversation where you reason through positions that have buried logical inconsistencies, after all.

I don't know why you guys do stuff like this. Just say the discussion is dumb if you want to. Posting a bunch of meme images after serious posts just makes you look like asshats. If you don't care about the discussion then don't say anything.
 
You guys are good posters on topics you care about but you then have to become ironically detached from discussions that other people care about that you don't. Maybe I'm the only one annoyed by this. If that's true then I guess I'll shut up.

The reason that I've largely stopped caring about these net neutrality discussions is how apocalyptic the discussions are.  I mean that both in the sense of how overblown the predictions are for what will happen if it net neutrality vanishes, but also in how frequently it is presented as a final battle between good and evil which will determine the ultimate fate of the internet.  It's like if Wagner was still around he'd be writing about this instead of the Goetterdaemmerung.
 
Rather than dealing with specific pieces of legislation or specific historical precedents, the conversation all too often turns to hypothetical dystopian scenarios gleaned from cyberpunk novels.  It also all too often becomes a melodrama with one side full of mustache twirling villains who want to destroy the internet for laughs, and the other side a bunch of shining cavaliers making a brave last stand to save the internet. 
 
The reality of the situation is that we are largely dealing with a power struggle between various factions of large corporations and the government, each of which have shown that they are more than willing to fuck over the common internet user if they can get away with it and each of which stands to personally benefit quite a bit should their preferred set of regulations go through.  It's also clear that the reality of the situation is that there is nothing final about any of these conflicts.  No matter which way the matter is decided during the current conflict, it will inevitably be challenged a few years down the road.
 
In the end I don't think that we're really discussing any course of government action (or inaction) so much as we are discussing the extent that we like the status quo of the internet.  Thus the discussion actually becomes something along the lines of "do you want the status quo, or do you want horrible dystopian internet or no internet at all?"  Of course everyone's going to say the former, and anyone who disagrees is going to be mocked.  But at that point I don't see why it's worth having the conversation.

The reason that I've largely stopped caring about these net neutrality discussions is how apocalyptic the discussions are.  I mean that both in the sense of how overblown the predictions are for what will happen if it net neutrality vanishes, but also in how frequently it is presented as a final battle between good and evil which will determine the ultimate fate of the internet.  It's like if Wagner was still around he'd be writing about this instead of the Goetterdaemmerung.
 
Rather than dealing with specific pieces of legislation or specific historical precedents, the conversation all too often turns to hypothetical dystopian scenarios gleaned from cyberpunk novels.  It also all too often becomes a melodrama with one side full of mustache twirling villains who want to destroy the internet for laughs, and the other side a bunch of shining cavaliers making a brave last stand to save the internet. 
 
The reality of the situation is that we are largely dealing with a power struggle between various factions of large corporations and the government, each of which have shown that they are more than willing to fuck over the common internet user if they can get away with it and each of which stands to personally benefit quite a bit should their preferred set of regulations go through.  It's also clear that the reality of the situation is that there is nothing final about any of these conflicts.  No matter which way the matter is decided during the current conflict, it will inevitably be challenged a few years down the road.
 
In the end I don't think that we're really discussing any course of government action (or inaction) so much as we are discussing the extent that we like the status quo of the internet.  Thus the discussion actually becomes something along the lines of "do you want the status quo, or do you want horrible dystopian internet or no internet at all?"  Of course everyone's going to say the former, and anyone who disagrees is going to be mocked.  But at that point I don't see why it's worth having the conversation.

The reason that I've largely stopped caring about these net neutrality discussions is how apocalyptic the discussions are.  I mean that both in the sense of how overblown the predictions are for what will happen if it net neutrality vanishes, but also in how frequently it is presented as a final battle between good and evil which will determine the ultimate fate of the internet.  It's like if Wagner was still around he'd be writing about this instead of the Goetterdaemmerung.
 
Rather than dealing with specific pieces of legislation or specific historical precedents, the conversation all too often turns to hypothetical dystopian scenarios gleaned from cyberpunk novels.  It also all too often becomes a melodrama with one side full of mustache twirling villains who want to destroy the internet for laughs, and the other side a bunch of shining cavaliers making a brave last stand to save the internet. 
 
The reality of the situation is that we are largely dealing with a power struggle between various factions of large corporations and the government, each of which have shown that they are more than willing to fuck over the common internet user if they can get away with it and each of which stands to personally benefit quite a bit should their preferred set of regulations go through.  It's also clear that the reality of the situation is that there is nothing final about any of these conflicts.  No matter which way the matter is decided during the current conflict, it will inevitably be challenged a few years down the road.
 
In the end I don't think that we're really discussing any course of government action (or inaction) so much as we are discussing the extent that we like the status quo of the internet.  Thus the discussion actually becomes something along the lines of "do you want the status quo, or do you want horrible dystopian internet or no internet at all?"  Of course everyone's going to say the former, and anyone who disagrees is going to be mocked.  But at that point I don't see why it's worth having the conversation.

Screw it let's get it back in the results:
 

The problem with democracy is that everyone must have a correct political opinion on everything, even on things that they don't understand and can't actually change.

Youtube keeps putting "Pop Music" at the top of the recommendations.
 
According to youtube these are the top four pop music songs I should listen to:
 
 
 
 
 

Pumpkin World

Wait. Cross out Pumpkin World. I switch it to that London Olympics game on Steam. They literally ported it so the controls are from the Xbox. So you have to press A, B, X, and Y.

I was reading some stories about Pythagoras, and it finally hit me that he was just the ancient world's version of Chuck Norris.
 
There's even a story about how a snake bit Pythagoras, and then the snake died.

Stands themselves are pretty well done, but Part 3 where they are introduced is really only mediocre.  The problem is that 90% of the arc is just "we are slightly closer to Dio's lair in Egypt and oh no there's another Stand User trying to stop us!" Additionally stands become so important that the fact that Dio is a vampire is almost an afterthought, despite the ridiculous power level of vampires in the first two parts.  I also got really annoyed by the fact that Joseph barely uses the ripple at all.  It's implied that he refrains from using it since the only vampire he fights is Dio and that only happens at the very end, but the first two parts showed that there were plenty of uses of ripple energy beyond fighting vampires (many of which Joseph himself came up with, and one trick in particular with the surface tension of water would have been useful during a certain gambling match).
 
In Part Four things get better, partially because the main villain gets involved in the story before the very end, and partially because the heroes spend a lot of time just dicking around town.  It's a lot more interesting to see Josuke try to cheat at a dice game by using an Alien, just to piss off his rival, or use a combination of stand powers to try to win the lottery, than it is to see Jotaro face down the fifteenth stand user servant of Dio.

The thing is, after the fifth or so stand user of the week, you'll be wondering when stands will stop being a thing.