Hey guys, been a while, how's it been around here in my absence?
I can guess, actually:
TBH I was checking one of my old posts to see how I reacted to To The Moon when a friend asked about it and was pleasantly surprised to see the place still active, so figured I'd drop in and say hello if nothing else.
If I'm remembering right - [checks post history] and I am - I stormed out in a huff over something very minor, which I probably shouldn't have done at all.
So, hi again, everybody
This is going to be the make or break point for Valve's credibility.
They are trying to paint this as a Half-Life 2 situation. Before Half-Life 2 no game did physics even remotely okay, and very few people were willing to deal with an online distribution system like Steam. But Half Life 2 legitimately changed the whole landscape of gaming on both counts. Valve wants us to believe that this game is going to do the same thing to VR gaming. That is, before this game it is something very niche, but afterwards everyone will be playing VR games.
They might pull it off. If they do, they will probably be everyone's favorite gaming company again. But if it's bad, or even if it's just a slightly above average VR game but not a game changer, then it will show that Valve is no longer the miracle makers they used to be. That doesn't necessarily mean that they will suffer as a company since they will just sit back and keep earning the Steam bux, but they'll probably give up on game development.
Just do like I do and pull pretty much everything out of your ass on the fly.
Your players are going to fuck up anything you plan anyway, so may as well just roll with it. If you're always prepared to be unprepared, you can never be caught off guard.
Haven't been around as much lately, posting-wise. I've still been lurking pretty regularly, but I've been busy with other stuff. For the last year or so I've been working as a freelance writer for all sorts of people, and really wanted to start writing fiction.
So I wanted to post what I've been working on for the last month and a half for everyone's enjoyment: Orphans
It's a web serial/novel I plan to update once a week, maybe twice going into the future. It's got martial arts, and stuff! Check it out, leave a like, comment, and subscribe or something like that. Tell me what I'm doing wrong and how my story killed your dog, I can take it as much as I tend to dish it out, you won't hurt me (too bad).
Hey howdy ho, SPUFFriends! It’s Valentine’s Day today, and you know what that means! Love is in the air! And do you know what I’d love? Some new content for TF2, that’s what! And as the old saying goes, “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!” Lucky for me and the rest of humanity, I am by myself on this lonesome Valentine’s Day! So today, I shall bring all you good folks a brand spankin’ new TF2 update idea!
Today’s update is a sequel update to last year’s Valentine’s Update, “The Better Matchmaking Update.” The only way to follow up an update like that, of course, is with “The Best Matchmaking Update!”. So that’s the update that I propose for today! We live in a world where uninspired sequels reign supreme, so I hope you’ll all enjoy MY uninspired sequel! So sit back, relax, and enjoy this lengthy backstory!
-----
-----
(tl:dr version: A drunk succubus shows up at the mercenaries' house after getting fired from her job.)
Yikes, the Matchmaker’s back in town? That sure spells danger for the mercs. Luckily, it seems she’s out of a job and totally a non-threat this time around. Unluckily though, it seems there’s a much bigger threat this time! You see, Lladnar and Mr. Raingallows had been secretly plotting some contingency plans to fight the energy crisis that is facing Hell! Typically, Incubus Inc. takes great pride in the fact that they only take souls from consensual encounters, however, Mr. Raingallows and Lladnar have developed a plan that goes against their code of honor… namely a gigantic sexbot army that will forcefully drain the souls from unwilling victims, including children! The Matchmaker needs the mercs’ help to put a stop to it, and maybe get her job back along the way! To help the Matchmaker, players must enter the new map, mvm_incinc. This map takes place at the factory, and is just like any other MvM map: hordes of annoying (sex) robots that instagib by looking at you funny. Players must defend the door to the human world. (The bomb hatch.) However, this map also comes with loads of fun gimmicks! This map is HUGE. Bigger than Bigrock, even! As such, there needs to be a special method of travel: DOORS! The factory’s loaded with special doors that act as automatic teleporters, as seen in Scooby Doo chase scenes. These doors turn on and off depending on how many (sex) robots are destroyed within a set radius. (Sex) robots are capable of spawning from these doors if they make it far enough, preventing you from just locking down the main entrance. If too many (sex) robots make it past, the doors activate, pushing the spawn point further up and giving you less room to work with. These spawns fortunately don’t carry over across waves, always resetting.
"I am about to revolutionize the sex industry. And when I do, even the great Miss Match is gonna be working for me!" -Lladnar
And of course, on the final wave an extra special (sex) robot will spawn in, piloted by Raingallows himself! This will be the only (sex) robot of the wave, but it’ll be bigger and badder than any seen before. It’ll be immune to all debuffs and crowd control, so you better be quick with dishing out damage! He’ll slowly walk down the path, unleashing several devastating attacks along the way, including but not limited to his shaft cannon and a big heaping batch of bombs! However, the most annoying aspect of this fight just might be Raingallows’ croney, as Lladnar will lurk the map invisible, much like a Spy, dealing massive damage to isolated targets that don’t notice in time. Good luck taking down Raingallows without your DPS! If you manage to overcome this challenging opponent, you’ll be rewarded with a new stock melee reskin, The Dildon’t! (It’s exactly what it sounds like) Of course, along with this new map, there will be several new items for you to spruce up your characters, so allow us to go through those together!
We’d also receive quite a few exciting weapons and cosmetics in this update. Mostly a bunch of hearts and lewd stuff, but I’ll go ahead and describe a few just so we’re clear on what I mean.
An all new cosmetic item, The Succubuddy. This item will cause a miniature succubus to fly around, following your merc all around town.
Another new cosmetic item, The Blunderpants! Which allows you to run around in your undies, with four different styles! Classic, Hearts, The Dark Knight, and The Smile Bringer! (Scout’s will be piss stained, regardless of style.)
Another new cosmetic item, The Cardiovascular Bonnet, which allows the mercs to wear a dumb heart on their head.
Yet another new cosmetic item, The Buckaroo’s Bulge. Everything’s bigger in Texas.
And a new weapon reskin, The Heart Attack! Which is just a reskin of the Panic Attack, except it has hearts on it.
Well, that’s it for the update my friends! But what’s this? It’s not quite over yet! As an AIDS Monkey first, this update shall feature an epilogue! So here goes!
-----
Upon defeating Raingallows, the story continues, with the Matchmaker being rundown by her ex-boss, furious with her actions ruining his plans. Try as she might, she couldn’t quite escape him, eventually being cornered. “It doesn’t have to be this way!” Pleaded the Matchmaker.
“I have no choice! Times have changed! Consensual sex isn’t enough anymore!”
“But violating children!?”
“I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die, and I’ll silence anyone who gets in my way!”Raingallows delivered a savage bitchslap to the Matchmaker, knocking her off her feet. Just as all hope seemed lost, a siren wailed, the walls falling away to reveal the mercenaries, all watching with a smug look on their faces. “Huhuhu, I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes! Let’s watch my favorite part again...shall we?” Scout pressed a button, replaying his favorite part. “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” And then help arrived!
I hope you're happy mercenaries, you've destroyed this company. Incubus Incorporated is dead. Where will everyone get their jollies now? The energy crisis will only get worse because of YOU! -Mr. Raingallows
As the FBI dragged Raingallows away, the Matchmaker, in an uncharacteristic act of gratitude, gave all the mercenaries a great big hug! It was at this moment that the demon world discovered that hugs and affection were a far stronger power source than sex and souls, creating an industrial revolution for all of demon-kind! Everybody cheered, happy at the development. With the newfound power, Scout decided to play his favorite part...one last time. “I’ll violate A THOUSAND children before I let this company die!” “Huhuhu, you know what? That didn’t seem like such a bad idea to me!”
And now that is really the end of the Best Matchmaking Update! Of course, with a name like the Best Matchmaking Update, you can expect some quality changes to the matchmaking system (removing it entirely!) That’s it for now, but remember to tune in next year for a Valentine’s Update, where we’ll go way back and check out the Matchmaker’s college years in a prequel update that nobody really asked for!
MORE Lord Valor stuff. Costumes, this time. One of the things that makes me love King K. Rool so much is how he just kinda wears outfits to fit the occasion, so I tried my hand at a spin on some of his costumes:
Admiral Valor:
Lord Valor the Dynamite King:
Big Baron Valor:
I love them all! But I particularly like how goofy the leotard on the boxer outfit looks, stretched over his armor like that. On a similar note, I'm very surprised by how well his normal knight armor meshes with such completely different outfits.
Idiot Cube reacted to Simon in TIAM IV: Guydiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Cockmongler
Idiot Cube got a reaction from A 1970 Corvette in The Official Random Image Thread!! SPUF style
Idiot Cube got a reaction from Raison d'être in TIAM IV: Guydiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Cockmongler