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Expresate

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Status Updates posted by Expresate

  1. Expresate

    Frickin fruit fly rebellion starting in my room. I think their leader looks like keanu reeves. Send help. 

    1. A 1970 Corvette

      A 1970 Corvette

      do the hairspray flamethrower

      it's the only way

  2. Expresate

    General Shitpost

    1. Arm the Homeless

      Arm the Homeless

      Certified Bad Micspam

  3. Expresate

    Guys, I think Brain needs an intervention. Clearly waiting this long for Fallout 4 has driven him insane. 

    1. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      Now remember, Brain: Nobody blames you. We just think you're being a total faggot right now.

    2. FreshHalibut

      FreshHalibut

      http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Brain

    3. FrozenFirebug

      FrozenFirebug

      how can any mortal vessel sustain this much dankness

  4. Expresate

    Guys, I want a she-xpresate. Makeonepls

    1. A 1970 Corvette

      A 1970 Corvette

      Get a dress and some makeup.

    2. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      If you want something done right...

    3. Mersopolis

      Mersopolis

      Did someone say my na- waaaait...

  5. Expresate

    Guys, my internal sleeping clock is fucked. What do. I'll only accept the most nonsensical answers.

    1. Sir Slick

      Sir Slick

      Internal clock fucked.

      Stay awake? Or go to sleep?

      Shining lotus leaf

      a haiku by me

    2. kayohgee

      kayohgee

      Right before sleepy time, set everything in the room on fire but the bed. If you do this enough times at the same time every night, your brain will eventually come to associate the rest of the room with the terrible destructive power of flames around bed time. This will encourage/terrify you to get into bed.

    3. Unromantic XYTWO

      Unromantic XYTWO

      The Sandman is associated with sleep, so clearly eating sand until you fall asleep is the solution

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  6. Expresate

    Guys, people are doubting my New Vegas fanboyism on Big SPUF. HOW WILL I LIVE WITH MYSELF?

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Arm the Homeless

      Arm the Homeless

      >Fallout 2

    3. <Witty Name>

      <Witty Name>

      >Objectively better

      >Story-wise

      http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/objective

    4. Razputin

      Razputin

      Well to be fair the story of fallout 3 was such absolute arse "objectively terrible" comes pretty damn close to the truth

    5. Show next comments  6 more
  7. Expresate

    guys, what if it was silent

    1. Paero

      Paero

      LOL WHY IS HE CALLED SILENT IF YOU CAN SEE HIM?

    2. Silent

      Silent

      why does she wear glasses if shes deaf

    3. Paero

      Paero

      can she really talk to jesus?

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  8. Expresate

    Happy Fallout Day!

    1. Arm the Homeless

      Arm the Homeless

      Let's all celebrate a standard unit of measurement

  9. Expresate

    happy pi day motherfuckers

    1. Mersopolis

      Mersopolis

      My math class celebrated it on Thursday. It was more convenient, since KFC has pot pies on special on Thursdays.

  10. Expresate

    Head bent over, raised up posterior. 

    1. tam

      tam

      fav tbh

    2. ICBMoose

      ICBMoose

      I agree

    3. Huff

      Huff

      GET 

      SHWITFY

  11. Expresate

    holy fuck i suck at republic commando

    1. A 1970 Corvette

      A 1970 Corvette

      the game is harder than my-

      -desk

    2. ICBMoose

      ICBMoose

      It's a damn good game though

      one of the best things to come from the prequels existing, IMO

  12. Expresate

    I am text block.

  13. Expresate

    I am ultra-santa

  14. Expresate

    I can't wait until LESBIAN ANAL SLUTS XIV comes to Steam. 

    1. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      I feel like the series went downhill after LESBIAN ANAL SLUTS VII.

    2. A 1970 Corvette

      A 1970 Corvette

      friendly reminder that the prequels don't exist

    3. tam

      tam

      mimicking evilbrain is almost as bad as evilbrain himself

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  15. Expresate

    I DON'T LIKE CHANGE.

  16. Expresate

    I feel violated. 

  17. Expresate

    I fixed my laptop! The HDD died, and now it's fixed. I spent $80, but better than $200 to get someone else to do it.

    1. John Caveson

      John Caveson

      You done good kid.

    2. <Witty Name>

      <Witty Name>

      Did you install lots of blue LEDs? They cool the laptop using MLG science technologies.

  18. Expresate

    I have a frickin' bottle of whiskey in my fridge, and every time I'm reminded of the fac- PASS THE WHISKEY

    1. Arm the Homeless

      Arm the Homeless

      pass me the whiskey i have a colt walker i can hold the chest and everyone can have walkers or sharps rifles or whatever the fuck you want

  19. Expresate

    I have finally found Esteban Winsmore. I feel like the prodigal son.

    1. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      Who?

  20. Expresate

    I have just completed the first lesson of my first IT course. BOW DOWN TO ME AS YOUR GOD, AND DESPAIR.

    1. Arm the Homeless

      Arm the Homeless

      Remember to install Adobe Reader if anything goes wrong.

    2. <Witty Name>

      <Witty Name>

      rm -rf /

  21. Expresate

    I just accidentally swallowed an ant.

     

    rip.

    1. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      I once ate an ant when I was about four.

      I remember it tasting kind of bitter.

    2. <Witty Name>

      <Witty Name>

      murr

    3. Expresate

      Expresate

      @ICBMoose it was delicious

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  22. Expresate

    I just scanned a QR code on my monitor with my phone. GUYS, WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE, HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME?

    1. ICBMoose

      ICBMoose

      I scanned a picture of a QR that a friend transmitted through webcam to a smartwatch once.

      It was basically just for the sake of doing it.

    2. Sir Slick

      Sir Slick

      fuck i thought the smartwatch wasn't even released yet

  23. Expresate

    i just slept for 27 hours

    goml

    1. Doopliss2008

      Doopliss2008

      I went without sleep for 40 hours once

       

      GOML

    2. kayohgee

      kayohgee

      i've actually been sleep-typing the entire time i've been a member here

  24. Expresate

    I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves

    1. Veez

      Veez

      THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

    2. Rynjin

      Rynjin

      *Da Beeeeeeessss.

    3. Razputin

      Razputin

      I kind of miss rickrolls

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  25. Expresate

    i was cool once

    1. FreshHalibut

      FreshHalibut

      Did you put on a sweater?

    2. Idiot Cube

      Idiot Cube

      Get some cool shades dude. They will change your life.

    3. <Witty Name>

      <Witty Name>

      Don't forget to tip them when you meet someone.

    4. Show next comments  6 more
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